Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and co. J. K. Rowling you are so lucky!

Chapter 3: Breakdown

"Harry, are you all right?" Lupin asked as Dumbledore motioned for Ron and Hermione to lower him back to the couch. Harry threw him a murderous, but weak glance. Lupin immediately mentally kicked himself. "I am sorry Harry that was a stupid question; of course you're not o.k. I guess the question is what happened?"

Ron spoke up, "I woke up at one and noticed that Harry wasn't in his bed, so worried I came down here and found him on this couch." Dumbledore nodded inviting Ron to continue, "Well I told him that he needed to get some sleep because as you know Professor that he hasn't been sleeping well since… well… you know…but he wouldn't so I put 'Asomnia' on him hoping to get him some sleep. Well, it worked and I went back upstairs."

Hermione took up the story, "I woke up around two and heard him screaming my name from when…he…put the curse on me and I fell…" Hermione shuddered but then went on, "so I came downstairs and tried to wake him up. Then Ron came downstairs and managed to get him up by slapping him across the face." She pointed to the red spot on Harry's cheek. "Then Fawkes appeared, but he disappeared basically as soon as he showed up, I guess warning you." Dumbledore nodded, "Then we told him that he needed to go see you and he tried to stand up but he couldn't so we were going to carry him to you when you showed up."

Dumbledore stood slowly and nodded, "I think," he said, "that it would be best if we moved this conversation to my office," he paused, "I think the walls are listening, Minerva, could you please go take care of them?" McGonagall nodded and swept up the stairs. "Now Harry let me see, ah this should do the trick." He waved his wand and Harry was lying on a floating stretcher.

As Lupin held open the portrait for them they heard McGonagall scream, "What on earth are all you all doing up? Back to bed all of you! And 15 points from every Gryffindor who isn't in bed and asleep in five minutes!"

Ron smiled, "It is so nice to hear her yell at someone else for a change, huh?" Harry smiled weakly, and then closed his eyes again, still weak from the dream.

Harry sighed, opening his eyes again when he felt a presence by his head. Looking up he saw Lupin. Lupin reached down and grabbed Harry's hand and squeezed it hard and smiled thinly. Harry felt himself moving and realized that he was floating down the hallways of Hogwarts.

"Severus, if you could please go and fetch Madame Pompfrey I would be extremely grateful." Snape nodded and left.

Harry suddenly noticed that they were in Dumbledore's office. Ron and Hermione helped him in to a chair. Dumbledore seated himself behind his desk as Ron and Hermione took the armchairs on either side of him, Lupin took up a station behind Harry's chair.

"Now Harry," Dumbledore began quietly, "I would like you to tell me what you saw in your dream."

Harry nodded and began telling him monotonously. When he got to the part where Hermione got hit with the curse, Harry's throat tightened and he could no longer continue. Then much to Dumbledore's shock as everyone else's Harry started to sob and have a complete emotional and mental breakdown.

"I am so t-ti-tired of having these dreams! I am tired of seeing, every time I try to go to sleep, my friends get put in danger and hurt because of my stupidity!" He sobbed uncontrollably, as Lupin and the rest looked on paralyzed in shock.

"I hate this! I hate having to be the one that everything happens to! I hate the fact that I am the one that might die because of some stupid prophecy!" Hermione, Ron and Lupin gasped. "You know what I wish?" he sobbed brokenly as he looked up into Dumbledore's startled eyes, "I wish…" and he held out his arms showing the thin white scars that criss-crossed across his lower arms and wrists, "I wish that you hadn't stopped me! I wish that you hadn't arrived in time to save me! That way I wouldn't have to deal with this!" he screamed. Then burying his face back into his hands he began to sob a fresh.

Dumbledore stood, and beckoning to the others as he walked out of his office onto the stairs.

"Dumbledore, what is this about the fact that he might die?!? They shouted at him.

He raised his eyebrows, "You mean that he hadn't told you?" They shook their heads staring at him unbelievingly. "Well, as you all know that Voldemort was going after the prophecy that was destroyed that night because it told if it was indeed Harry that was to be his downfall. Also it tells that one can not die while the other one is still alive." He said quietly.

Hermione gasped, "So that means that one of them has to die before this war is over?" Dumbledore nodded sadly. He gave them a few seconds to absorb that bit of information before asking a question of his own, "Has…um…Harry ever done that," He hesitated trying to find the appropriate wording.

"You mean have a complete emotional and mental breakdown?" Hermione supplied.

"Yes, that would be what I am trying to say, so has he?" he asked watching their faces.

All of three of them shook their heads, thinking; if they had they would remember.

"Really, I am not surprised," Ron said.

"Why?" Lupin asked startled.

"I mean think about it. He has the whole weight of the wizarding world and really the muggle world to resting on his shoulders. That is a lot of strain for a 15 year old."

"Actually Ron he is 16." Said Hermione checking her watch. They looked and saw that it was indeed four hours past midnight on July 31st (the students had been held over at Hogwarts for the summer instead of going home because Dumbledore was suspicious that Voldemort might attack the train).

"Ok so a 16 year old. But still he has a lot of pressure on him just to save the world plus doing well in school and not get himself killed by the regular activities at school." Ron said smiling slightly at all the times that Harry had been in the hospital wing.

Hermione and Lupin looked fairly impressed by that speech that Ron just gave but Dumbledore looked thoughtful.

"You are right Ron. Harry does have a lot that is expected of him and what happened this summer didn't help of course." They nodded all remembering how they had gone off and nearly got themselves killed because Harry thought that Voldemort had gotten Sirius Black and was torturing him.

"Well shall we go back in and see if he has managed to get himself under control?" asked Lupin.

"Yes, in just a second Remus, I want you all to understand that this probably happened because of a lot of pent up emotions that Harry has kept inside of him. Also I believe that he thinks that he is a danger to be around you all since all the people that he has loved," for some reason he looked a Hermione when he said that, "have died. His parents died when he was one and now the closest thing that he had to a father figure has died because I didn't tell him what was going on. So be prepared that he might try to push you all away from him because he thinks that he might get you all seriously hurt or killed."

Ron smiled, "Well I think that we have lasted this long, we are doing pretty well." Hermione nodded in agreement.

"Well that is fine, but you still have to convince him of that, remember, he is very hard headed." They all nodded again, smiling slightly at memories. "Now shall we go back and try to get him to see the light at the end of the tunnel?" asked Dumbledore. They nodded, and Lupin opened the door back into his office.

(Mean while in Dumbledore's office)

Harry heard them leave, but didn't care and continuing sobbing into his arms. He had drawn his knees up to him and had wrapped his arms around them and buried his face into his arms so that only his hair was showing. As he sobbed and tried desperately get his emotions back under control he thought.

If they didn't hang around me, none of this would have happened. It's all because of me.

But wait, said another voice, if they hadn't been with you, you probably wouldn't have made it this far. Probably wouldn't have reached your 13th birthday.

Yeah but I am tired of seeing my friends hurt! What if I do something else really stupid like I did with Sirius…even just saying that made his throat ache…and they get permanently hurt like Neville's parents or worse killed? I am not going to have my friends killed because of something that I did.

But you know that they aren't going to listen to you, they will come anyway.

Well then I just won't let them come and that's final!

Harry looked up and dried his now red rimmed eyes as he made up his mind; he just couldn't be a friend to Ron and Hermione or even Lupin anymore.

The door creaked and Harry spun around as Ron, Hermione, Lupin and Dumbledore strode in. Before they could say a word Harry started to speak, "Uh… guys I am sorry for losing it like I did."

"Apology accepted Harry." Said Lupin.

"Well I just wanted to say that after you all left I did some thinking…" he gulped, this was going to be harder than he thought, "and I have come to the conclusion that I shouldn't be friends with you, Ron and Hermione any more." There he had said it, and he watched their faces closely to see what their reaction was. To his surprise they didn't seem to be too bothered by it, but they immediately started trying to persuade him other wise.

"Really Harry, do you think that this is smart? I mean we have gone through everything together do you want to ruin it now?" asked Ron trying his best to be persuasive but not getting anywhere as Harry just determinedly shook his head.

Hermione came up to him and kneeled on the floor in front of him, picked up his wrists and flipped them over, revealing the pale white scars from where Harry had tried to commit suicide, and gently traced them with her long fingers causing Harry's skin to prickle.

"Harry…" she said quietly looking down at his arms still, "remember how you said that you were sorry that Lupin and Tonks arrived quickly enough to save you?" Harry nodded dumbly, having no idea where she was taking this. "Well I am not sorry. I am glad that they had managed to save you because like Ron said we have gone through everything together. From saving the Sorcerer's Stone to breaking all the school rules in one day. I don't know why you would want to end that. I mean if me and Ron have lasted this long with you and getting dragged into everything that, that mind of yours can think up with only as few of injuries that we have, then I think that we are doing pretty well considering that we are only 16. So I just want you to know that no matter what you say, we are going to stick by you no matter what."

Hermione looked up at that and made Harry look into her chocolate brown eyes, "Oh by the way Happy Birthday Harry."

Harry felt tears once again start to course their way down his cheeks as Ron leaned forward and squeezed Harry's arm hard and Lupin grabbed his shoulders and squeezed them too. Harry looked up and met the eyes of Dumbledore, who was smiling slightly and just nodded at Harry. Harry managed a weak smile and nodded back. He glanced down and seeing Hermione and Ron next to him gripped them both in to a super tight hug, and said fiercely, "Thanks guys, I really needed that."

Ron and Hermione were smiling to see their friend back to normal.

Hermione said, "Even the best fall down sometimes Harry."