A/N: Kiyaaaaaaaaaaa here's the damn chap!!! Before Erica pokes me to death (put that pitchfork away woman), before Loresta's husband smashes their computer on my head (sir, please don't hurt me) and before Lirael gives me any more good marketing strategies that I'm too dumb too use:). Oh and before I forget- Demon, thanks for the comment. Hey it's all good, no offense taken:) I mean, you can't plaese everyone and you were very nice about it so it's no biggie. There's romance in this chapter!!! Yes, I know, it sounds too damn good to be true:) Also, this one's going out to all the Jaken lovers out there..cough Mimi cough... BE HAPPY THAT MY VOICES TOLD ME YOU ALL DESERVED A LONG CHAPTER FOR HAVING WAITED SO LONG! Yeah baby, the fun starts now...:)
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"Where can this blasted exit be?"
Oh yeah, you'd best believe that our favorite little lump of green was on the go once again. And speaking of go, has it drawn anyone's attention just how much jaken resembles a traffic light? No, seriously. He's green, his eyes are yellow and when he uses his staff you've got red. Then there's also the fact that he looks like he's related to the Grinch. We all remember 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas,' do we not? Christmas...red...green... Jaken also resembles Yoda... Yoda means lightsabers... red...green... 'How about yellow?' you may ask. Ah, but you must realize that yellow speaks for itself. Do I smell a conspiracy? Hmmm...
Yeah, that was the witty intro. And as we bring our focus back to the matter at hand, we find ourselves asking the question: 'just how is it that Jaken has regained his body?' Well, it was this very same question that our little toad friend was also pondering whence his tormentors pieced him back together. Upon inquiring just how this was possible, he was greeted with harsh laughter and two words that he did not understand... No, it wasn't rosebud. Besides, that's one word... They laughed at him and told him that he wouldn't understand anyway... His savior was from the far future that he would most likley never live to see. And indeed the foreign words did seem futuristic to him. Neverthless, he was indebted to this mystery product. Yes, his gratitude ran deep for his rescuer...whoever he was, this...super glue.
Finding a moment in which his tormentors were too preoccupied with something actually worth their while, Jaken slipped in, out, past, and around corners. Be forewarned: escaping is easy. It's doing it in style that's the tricky part:) After hobbling for what seemed like hours, entirely due to his midget legs (A/N: and trust me, it takes one to know one...sigh...) he spied a distant light. There were no guarantees, no exit signs, no 'thank you come again's but it was worth a shot. It was now or never, do or die. Well, more like do or stay dead. In his excitement he dove forward without looking. Carelessness will be the death of these people. P.U.N. Come on, you know you wanna laugh.
"You will excuse me." Said the living wall that he had smashed into... "Oh! It's you Jaken. Well, well... small underworld."
Jaken rubbed his eyes not once but a great many times. So this was hell, huh? Now he knew why.
"A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A... Ssssesshoumaru-sama!!!"
"......"
"W-WAIT A MINUTE... YOU'RE NOT MY SESSHOUMARU-SAMA! HOW DARE YOU DISGUISE YOURSELF AS MY MASTER YOU- YOU...YOU FEMALE!"
Now now...stick and stones. Just then, something else spoke up behind him.
"Jaken! So there you are! What are you still doing on this side of the neighborhood? It's really no fun without you in the land of the living."
"A-A-A-A-A! Rin????? How in the blazes did you get here??????? Just a moment, you're not that stupid human... there's something different about you... WHO ARE YOU TWO IMPOSTERS!!!!!"
'Sesshoumaru' and 'Rin' looked at each other and smiled. What could be said? After all, these are two gals that, as always, need no real introduction:)))))
And if you haven't taken the hint by now, I will humbly marvel at the fact that you even made it to this chapter.
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Several violent moments later...
"Was he sent back, master?" asked the new shadow that had joined 'Sesshoumaru' and 'Rin.' The silence she received was answer enough.
"It is time for us to get back to work ladies," said 'Sesshoumaru.' The three females walked off in separate directions. You didn't really think that Jaken would stay all lonely, did you? Oh perish the thought. Besides, what's another voice between friends.
And speaking of friends...
Or not...
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Sesshoumaru writhed on the floor in agony. She really could have made her point any other way. Why always violence? Honestly, what was wrong with kids these days? His ears lay flattened against his gray head, futily trying to cut off the sound of her sobbing so that he could perhaps get back to dealing with his pain in peace. He would have ample time to get mad. Hell, he had a whole lifetime to make her as miserable as she made him... Man, there's no other explanation for it. It's gotta be love:)
Rin's sobbing slowly died down to sniffling but she still made sure to keep her distance from him. Right now, those pretty little ears were begging to be ripped off that pretty little head of his. When sesshoumaru finally had enough strength to turn his head around, he bestowed upon her the glare that made him the man/demon/hanyou he was today. Rin received it, only to return a glare of her own- the one that had made her the human/woman/and all-around spot of sunshine that she was today. But you see, my faithful audience, though no words were spoken, it's all a matter of interpretation. Allow me to bring forth the verbal battle, minus the verbal.
Keep in mind that the 'conversation' was begun by Sesshoumaru. Unfortunately, due to slight technical difficulties, misunderstandings occurred every now and again.
'You...
Yeah, that would be me...
You expect to live after this?
How long can we keep this up? I need to blink.
Your scent is driving me insane, wench.
You are the most beautiful hanyou I have ever seen, you big jerk.
Did you call this Sesshoumaru a hanyou again?
Ok so I haven't seen many... Which reminds me, about our future children...
This Sesshoumaru is not a child.
Who are you calling a child?!'
Their eyes had squinted so much that there were almost no eyes left to squint at this point. Just why was the conversation cut short? The answer would be the loud *BOOM* and the heap-o-Jaken reviving itself. Gross. Was now the time for this? Well, we're about to find out. And just how the Hell'd he get back? He was as dead as disco. Well, you see...
With his frustration at the brink of insanity (which isn't a hard level to reach) and at the top of his squeaky voice, the resurectee finally decided to enlighten the rest of the world with his revelation.
"It has finally happened! This lowly Jaken has figured it out at long last! The reason why you are still here you stupid brat, the only reason why Ssshoumaru-sama would ever tolerate you and vice versa can only be because YOU TWO ARE IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER!!!"
There is silence…
There is the sound of eyebrows and ears twitching. Mainly, Sesshoumaru's.
Rin shut her eyes and took in a deep breath. *He's back...and this is possible how?* "Jaken... Somehow it's not –quite- as satisfying hearing it from you."
It was only then that Jaken noticed his master's state and the ungodly stench of woman in the room. "A-A-A-A-A-A" was all that he could gawk out as his eyes began to tear. Now, I can't really say whether it was from seeing his precious Sesshoumaru-sama as a hanyou or from Rin's smell that he was tearing but the point lying within this sentence my dear readers is that toads, too, have feelings. Toads, too, can cry. We must also realize that not everybody in the room dwelt on the how's and why's of the imp's return. He's here, that's all you need to know. And of course, we all know that Sesshoumaru, being the man/demon/hanyou that he is, wasted not his time. "Jaken. You will tell us how to undo these curses immediately. Henceforth you shall be sent back to where you came from, then returned. Note that this process will be repeated."
All Jaken could get out was: "It was the miko in the next village and I know nothing more but may I- AAACK..." before he was sent packing back to 'Sesshoumaru,' 'Rin' and whoever else might be waiting for him. Not to fear. He'll be back. Hmmm... did that sound like a threat to you? It did to me...
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"This is entirely your fault, human."
"WHAT?! I already feel bad enough as it is, you don't need to make it worse Sesshoumaru-sama." *Jerk. As if blaming me is going to change anything.*
"Indeed. And just how bad do you feel, human, knowing that we may be stuck in this manner for a very undesirable amount of time?" *At least I am certain that the damage is not permanent.*
"Just what is about humans, or me for that matter, that you find so offensive?!" *Aside from everything.* "What do you want from me? I made a mistake and I'm sorry. It happens, you know. Would you prefer it if I were some mindless ninny who'd do everything you said, no questions asked?" *Hmm...wrong question to ask.*
"Perhaps it is time this Sesshoumaru asks you the same question. What is your purpose for quarreling with me? Do you mean to tell me through some means that you would be happier with a human mate?" *Do not test me on this. One wrong answer and we shall be one human less in this room.* "Or is it this Sesshoumaru's being youkai that you do not appreciate? What is it that you wish of me Rin. Would it have made you happy if I had stayed human or as a hanyou?" *Do not mock this Sesshoumaru's sense of strategy...*
*What's this?? I'm...I'm scared...* "You would consider staying human if I asked you to?"
"Perhaps." *There is no harm in bluffing.*
"Sesshoumaru-sama...... That's the sweetest thing you have ever said to me. You're bluffing but even that must have been hard, considering what the subject is. I can't believe you'd say that, just to make me happy. I don't know what to say."
"Indeed." *I do it because you are violently unbearable when you are unhappy, not to mention hazardous to this Sesshoumaru's health.*
"Sesshoumaru-sama...umm...I... well..." *I want to ask him!... Sheesh why is it so hard to ask him this when we practically have grandchildren in my head.* "That is...I *gulp* may I ...um...you know.........kiss you? I mean ah...I'd ah..like to kiss you...if that's okay with you...?
"You wish to... kiss me?"
Enter a favorite gal who is just plain larger than life...
*Isn't that what she just said honey? I mean, there's only so many ways to say it.
But why would she wish to kiss this Sesshoumaru?
You're hopless, has anyone told you that before?
Perhaps it is the ears that are adding to my charm.*
Let's do that again, shall we:
"You wish to... kiss me?"
And enter a favorite gal who's larger than...death...I suppose
*Isn't that what I just said?
Maybe he thought he heard wrong.
But I can't say it again, it was hard enough the first time!
Well we're gonna be here for a while if you're waiting for him to figure it out on his own.
True...sigh.*
Back to Author-cam.
"Yes...I...want to kiss you... And I was just wondering if that was...you know...okay with you."
"You will just have to try and find out now won't you..."
Sesshoumaru's battle for control: *What! Wench, how dare you put words into this Sesshoumaru's mouth! Never would I say such an absurd thing.
Sigh... You want her to kiss you, yes or no?
I shall handle this without your help.
Fiiine fine, don't get your tail twisted. Sheesh! You try and help a guy out...*
Before he could even think of a decent comeback, guess what, Rin decided to take him up on his offer to try and find out. After all, that response was even better than a yes. So they kissed...and kissed...and then kissed some more. It really had started out innocent enough (as is always the case), you know, the usual 'quick peck because I'm too nervous to do much else' bit. But soon the quick pecks became...not so quick... and not so innocent. Oh the devil with it all... Temperatures began to rise in the room so no, it's not just you, it really was hot in there. Only when he realized that he was purring in quite an idecent manner did Sesshoumaru break the kiss. Her hands were dangerous when they found those ears. Rin pouted a little, knowing full well that in their current situation he would go no further. But it just wasn't fair dammit! It was also incredibly hot in the room and with the way that damn potion was still reacting with her body, she might just make him go further, whether he agreed to or not. Now there was an idea... and before it could further enter NC-17 territory, she found her head laying against his chest and her hair being stroked gently. *Pleeeease don't stop.*
"Rin. Why do you put up with me?" *And do ask why this Sesshoumaru puts up with you.*
"You're my widdle puppy, that's why." *And just because I –can-. It's a damn gift is what it is. And yes, I will be taking the bait.* "Why do you put up with me?" *Sweet voice, add the puppy-eyes and that ought to do it.*
"Because you are mine."
"Yes I am! Hihihihi. It's just you and me Sesshoumaru," she giggled. *Not to mention those adorable ears.* "But you know what?"
"...?" *Much better. Look into this Sesshoumaru's eyes when you speak, not at his ears.*
"You're the only one I ever want to be with in the whole world..."
"So, my little minion, you do care," he said with one of his famous now-you-see-it/now-you-don't smiles.
"You thought I didn't?"
"What I thought does not matter at this moment. Rin, you and I are mated but we have a task to complete before anything may develop. There will be nothing but normality between you and this Sesshoumaru until this problem is resolved. Is that understood?" he stated firmly as he released her and moved away. Damn.
*Excuse me? Why do you have to bash my one little romantic moment into the middle of next century?* "When have we ever been normal? And just how do you –define- normal in this situation?"
"Do not use that tone with me. There will be no fighting, no arguing. As of this moment, I will speak and you will comply. The plan is as follows..."
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Ten twitches, seven squints and five jaw clenches later...
"Are you sure this is going to work?"
"Silence. This is a technique that has taken longer to perfect than you have lived."
"Ok I get it, you're old, but how can you be sure that it will drive away my scent?"
"How do you think this Sesshoumaru was able to breathe when Inu-yasha was a baby, Rin? This concoction was my salvation. It is now our only hope. Understood?"
"Yes sir. Understood sir. The lowly human has one final comment sir."
*Hilarious.* "You may speak."
"This thing better not have any side-effects! Because if it does, we're both going to suffer. By the way, I love the headpiece...teeheehee."
"Such a charming brat you are, as always."
"Such a grouchy hanyou –you- are."
"Not for long."
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So began Operation: Demonization for Sesshoumaru and Purge-the-Urge for Rin. The plan was to locate this so-called miko and obtain a cure- by any means necessary. The only problem was (ok, so not the –only- problem but hey, one at a time) that this meant having to go back to that accursed village. If those beastly humans realized that the great Sesshoumaru had turned into a hanyou... I'm not even going to finish that sentence. Fortunately for him, Sesshoumaru looked nothing like his old self, add a cloth (rather bandana-like) wrapped around his head to cover the ears, change the clothes and voila...! Sesshoumaru, is that you?
Rin had only to wait a few moments for the 'concoction' to work. She felt no different but there was no telling with these things so as soon as the scent was supposedly weakened enough for it to be safe, they were off. Mind you, they didn't stroll out the door. Use your imaginations for where there was a window/balcony/rooftop/tree, it was put to good use. And they were ridin' the wind, Inu/Kag style:)
Rin couldn't help herself. Being able to hold him was just so...comforting. She leaned a bit more forward and kissed his cheek lightly. Need I tell you that they almost went crashing into the nearest tree? And as much as he liked it... Yeah, you know how it goes.
"No nonsense Rin. There will be time for that later."
*You call that nonsense, huh? We'll see about that...* "Ok..."
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As they approached the village, Sesshoumaru set Rin down on her feet and walked in as dignified a manner as was possible considering his current ensemble. Rin went slightly ahead of him and, as the number of cowering peasants increased, it became clear that their presence had been felt. For once people, this is a good thing.
Several random villagers, the braver ones might I add, gathered to greet her and her new –friend-.
Random villager (insert nervous laughter where you see fit): "Hello there Rin-sama! What brings you here...to our peaceful, harmless, innocent town on this fine day? Lord Sesshoumaru seems to not have accompanied you this time (random group of random villagers sigh in utter relief). Who is your new companion?"
"Hehehe...I'm glad you asked that. This is my...ah...
Sesshoumaru's eyebrow shut up. *This ought to be good...*
"My cousin!" *Hahahaha.*
Random villagers in unison: "Cousin?"
Sesshoumaru spoke, or rather spat, for the first time since their arrival. "Cousin?"
Enter Cricket "Chirp?" –cousin?-
"That's what I said folks! Cousin. What, you don't see the resemblence?"
Silence unfurled... The sweatdropping could be seen but not heard... Even our little friend Mr. Cricket stared in disbelief.
"Well," she continued, "he's actually my second cousin, once removed on his mother's side."
More silence..
"He's not from around here... Came from the West." *Hey, it's not a –complete- lie...*
Villagers nod understandingly: "Ooooh!" *Mumble mumble* "That makes sense..." "Yes I should have noticed from the beginning." *Mumble...*
"That's right. Allow me to introduce you all to my cousin- Fluffy."
Entire Villager Population: "Fluffy??????"
"FLUFFY!!?????" Well, you can all tell who bellowed that.
Cricket: "CHIIIIIRP????" *SQUASH* Oops...sorry folks... please continue.
"Is there an echo around here or something? That's what I said! This is my cousin Fluffy, but since he happens to be so much –older- than the rest of the kids in the family, we cousins usually address him as Fluffy-sama. Of course, I expect the same respect to be shown to my...cousin, from all of you. *Hahaha, you're damn right I'm making fun of him. But I do it with love... teeheehee...*
As the speechless crowd looked from the first weirdo to the next, Sesshoumaru finally stopped seething, swallowed his pride and slowly let a smug smile crawl onto his face. Just how exactly does a smile 'crawl'? you may ask. Well, that's for me to know and you not to bother with the technicalities. That's how she wanted to play, huh... So be it.
"Rin, you will stop lying to these... good people (A/N: the horror:)... at once. Is this how I have raised you? To be dishonest to your elders? You will all forgive my –daughter- and her antics. There are some things she has yet to grow out of." *And –that- is why this Sesshounaru is Lord of the Western Lands.*
Villagers: "Daughter???????????"
"DAUGHTER????????????????????????? I-I-I-wha-who-huh??" And you can all guess who squeaked that, my spirited audience.
Would you all rather I chirp? Because Mr. cricket is no longer with us.
And a favorite gal returns... impeccable timing, as always:)
*Did he just call you his daughter?
I-I-I-*
"Is the resemblence not striking?" Sesshoumaru asked with an utterly bored yet 'I'm such a proud father' tone of voice.
"I-I-I-I-I- "
"Come along, daughter. If we complete our task quickly then perhaps I will allow you to play with the other children for a while."
And dooooown she goes. Honestly Rin, is it any time to faint? Man, some humans just can't take a joke...
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A/N: Leave a bloody review for the love of God, it's 6 in the morning! Sigh... I never even knew there –was- a 6 in the morning...