A/N: You know guys, I really like the way this story has turned into a parody of sorts. Allow me to explain- I'm having so much fun teasing all the Sesshoumaru clichés that it's just plain wrong at this point. I honestly hope that no authors get offended or anything because I mean no disrespect. I just want to make you all smile:) Yes, that is me and Mr. Smiley's mission in life: to rid the world of frowns! And who nicknamed it "Mr. Smiley" anyways? I think it should be "Ms. Smiley" for a while.

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own InuYasha. But I've got the Tooth Fairy working on it so no worries ;) 

In other news: The last time I put up a chapter, I just got really hungry so I decided to take a trip to the kitchen. I started cooking... Now, several months later, my appetite has finally been appeased.

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Have you ever stopped to wonder just what it is that your conscience does when you're not paying attention? I'll bet my bishies that you haven't. Brace yourselves for the enlightenment at hand, my enthused audience. Down in the corners of the Earth, where no one really cares to look, there are forces at work that have been around since the dawn of Man...and Woman. It is in these corners that our significant others dwell. And believe you me, they're out to get us, one guilt trip at a time. Two, if they feel lucky.

"Jaken, Rin!"   'Sesshoumaru' bellowed. Yes, I said 'Sesshoumaru.' We're talking about the underground now folks. The nether region, if you will. 

"Jaken and Rin reporting for duty ma'am!" Such diligent help. Kinda brings tears to an employer's eyes. But Sesshoumaru was not swayed. Rather, she looked somewhat pale. The kinda pale that lets you know there's pain ahead. 

"Come along. I have received word from the One, and She wishes to have a briefing before we continue with our work."

'Jaken' started to twitch and 'Rin' was just one twitch short of flinching. Going to see the One was never something you looked forward to. Why? I mean, who wouldn't want to bask in the glory of She who holds all within her grasp. Well, 'Sesshoumaru,' 'Rin' and 'Jaken' for starters. There is no holy music, there is no eternal bliss. There is naught but the sinking feeling that you've done something wrong...again. The only question that's left is how: how am I going to get out of this one? Good question.

Author shrugs. Beats me...

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'Rin' and 'Jaken' with one fluid shove, "volunteered" 'Sesshoumaru' to go inside first. Now when I say inside, do not confine yourselves to the image of a normal room. Indeed, beyond those serpent-headed doors lay a space without walls, floor or ceiling. Just a voice. Yes, THAT voice. THE Voice. The voice you hear before you go to sleep at night. Ok so that's stretching it a bit but it was intimidating nevertheless. And this was one voice you really, really didn't want to annoy. 

"Are things going as planned?"

"Yes, Sensei."

"What is the current status?"

"They are in the village, seeking out the Miko as we speak, Sensei."

"You are tending to this situation, I presume?"

"Of course, Sensei."

"Very well. Continue with your work. That is all."

"Thank you, Sensei."

'Sesshoumaru' desperately held in her sigh of relief. That is, only until 'Rin' and 'Jaken' started poking her, which lead to a loud *WOOSH* of an exhale.

"No! I refuse to do it!" She hissed, "Leave me be you persistent nitwits!" But the two kept on poking her. *POKE POKE*

"Sesshoumaru-samaaa," Rin hissed back,  "If you don't ask, I'll tell Sensei that you're the one who's been leaving the toilet seat up!" 

"!! H-how dare you insinuate such a thing you insolent whelp! I am a woman!" 'Sesshoumaru' feigned dramatic disgust. It really didn't work.

"Woman. Humph. Whatever." 'Rin' said.

"Alright you cruel thing. But if we get blown to smithereens, again, I will see to it that...that... so there!"

'Sesshoumaru' gracefully proceeded towards the light but, in the background,  'Jaken' whispered to 'Rin':

"So it's been Sesshoumaru-sama all this time?"

"Actually,  I have no idea who's been doing that but I must've hit a nerve or something to get her all riled up like that."

'Jaken' blinked several times. "Sesshoumaru-sama IS a woman, is she not?"

"Never mind that now..."

And so 'Sesshoumaru' fidgeted and cleared her voice. "Uh... Begging your pardon Takahashi Sensei."

"You may speak."

"With all due respect Sensei, my counterparts and I were just wondering..."

"Continue."

"Why is it that Sesshoumaru is nicknamed Fluffy?"

"All will explain itself in due time."

"I-I see. Thank you, Sensei."

'Sesshoumaru' did not press her luck further and quietly escorted 'Rin' and 'Jaken' outside. By their ears. Of course, they did not hear the One's final words on the matter as Her holy light faded away.

"Crazy fangirls..."

Hmmm...

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"You imbeciles! Now She will be pissed off with me straight into the next century...if She lets me live that long, that is."

"Hey it's not like you didn't want to know. Especially since Sesshoumaru is yours, so to speak."

"Very well RIN. Just be warned that the next time She wishes to speak with us, you will be going in there and representing us by yourself."

"B-but, Sesshoumaru-samaaa!"

"Don't you but Sesshoumaru-sama me young lady. We shall discuss this later. Now get back to your posts."

"Yeees ma'am."

"And Jaken."

"Yes Sesshoumaru-sama?"

"See if you can't find your incarnation. We must regroup this trio as soon as possible."

"Certainly Sesshoumaru-sama."

Like I always say, it's not –what- you say but –how- you say it. Not to mention the fact that seniority kicks ass ;)

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Meanwhile, back on the flipside of things...

'So that's how it's going to be, huh? Father my... And I can't believe I'm still unconscious!

Rin.

Uh-oh...H-hey there!...... Long time no bother.

Yes, I figured that I was long overdue for an appearance...you know what I mean. What have you been up to, my little minion?

Sod off.

And here I thought that you'd actually missed me.

Like I miss a mosquito bite.

Well aren't you all sweetness today! And speaking of bites, just how are you and your little holes faring? 

That –so- needs to be taken in context...

Watch your mouth young lady! Honestly, I leave you alone with his Highness for a minute and suddenly the perverseness is at an ultimate high.

I know! I can't help it!!! His 'medicine' is wearing off already! We need to get out of here soon...I can't BELIEVE I'm still unconscious!

What's the story with that anyway?

You know, I have no idea. I think the suggestion of him being my father was just a little too much for me to handle. Still... how embarrassing...

I share your pain, Rin.

...Really?

No, not really, you stupid girl. And might I add: HAHAHA! Ehem...serves you right for causing this mess.

Why you loud-mouthed, nerve-hurting, headache-causing-

Yackety-yak. Hush now, it's time to wake up sunshine!'

"Who is loud-mouthed, nerve-hurting and headache-causing?" Sesshoumaru inquired carelessly. Rin noticed that she was being carried and thought: 'but hell if I know where I'm being carried now.'

"Where are we going Sesshoumaru-sama?" 'That's right, just ignore the question...'

'Evading the question, huh? Clever girl.' "The villagers claim that the Miko's shrine is not far off."

Who says that men don't ask for directions? And we all know that Sesshoumaru is all male and a little bit more. He is what we women would define as "gimme somma dat." or otherwise known as mister "nice sword you've got there."  It's just that sometimes, on not-so-rare occasions, he puts a whole new spin on the phrase 'getting in touch with one's feminine side.' That's what the yin and yang are there for, people. So cease the hating and engage in appreciating.

In a matter of minutes, they were at the shrine's entrance. Good thing, too, because Sesshoumaru was starting to look a little...disheveled. Rin would have to inquire about that later, though. One can only handle five problems at a time.

Rin let herself down and walked up to the shrine's entrance. 'So far so good,' she thought. Odd, though, the place seemed kinda deserted. It was then that she noticed some writing on the wall. And her eyes all but bugged out in a very Jaken-like manner. Her face re-arranged itself into an expression of 'about-to-cry-my-little-butt-off' innocence as Sesshoumaru stood next to her in all his hanyou glory.

"Sesshoumaru-sama," she said on the verge of tears, "What does she mean 'on vacation'?"

*Grrrrr* Yep, with the hanyou comes his attitude.

"Oh wait, there's something else written on the bottom... I can't really make it out. What's it say?"

"It says 'permanently'......." the hanyou said with a smirk. He would have laughed in a mad-scientist-like fashion but that's pushing it, even for this story. Even so, it is official. Sesshoumaru is about to lose his mind. Oh how the heavens weep.

"Rin." Now this might sound normal to untrained ears but Rin knew better. This was the 'don't  ****  with me right now' tone. So, answer the man. And you'd best add a strong dose of r-e-s-p-e-c-t with that. "We are going home."

"Ok Sesshoumaru-sama."

There's a good girl...

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 The journey home was long and the silence was well nigh unbearable. What do you say to something like this? Easy- you shut up and deal. If you value your life, that is.

Rin collapsed on the bed, hoping that her Sesshoumaru-sama had blown off some steam on the trek back. He could be a real pain in the pansy when he was in a bad mood. She, on the other hand, would do no more thinking today. In fact, Rin didn't even realize that she had fallen asleep until she woke up in a frenzy, from what was possibly the worst nightmare she'd had yet.

"Woah!!..man that was awful...and just plain...wrong!!" 

She swung her head left and right in the darkness, trying to determine his whereabouts. 'I am not happy. This day –really- needs to be over...and soon.'

To her right, she noticed a large figure in the darkness. And for all it was worth, she hoped that it was Sesshoumaru who was sleeping next to her.

*POKE*  *JAB*

"Sesshoumaru, wake up... Sesshoumaru-samaaa?? Hey wake up!"  'I need you awake, now if posible.'

"What is it you heartless girl?" came the grumble. Ok so maybe he still wasn't in the best of moods but can you blame the guy? (Rhetorical question).

"I had a nightmare"

"......" Translation: So?

"But it was horrible!!"

"...?..." Translation: Again, so?

"It...it was about you falling in love with Kagome...or something like that...I dunno, it was just so...I dunno..."

"Who is Kagome?"

"Aaaagh Sesshoumaru-sama! She's your sister by law so don't pretend that you don't know her."

'Feh.' "........."

"And it gets worse... you...y-you...kept calling me your daughter! Oh gosh... I think I'm gonna be sick..." She pouted. There is no more shame left for this pair.

"Rin."

"Yes?"

"Go back to sleep. Do not think about dreaming up any more absurdities. That is enough to give even this Sesshoumaru nightmares."

"Ok...but, Sesshoumaru-sama?" she asked almost sadly, "you're not in love with Kagome are you?"

"Humph. Do not insult this Sesshoumaru." He looked at her through the darkness. She was adorable when she was stupid. And that tended to happen a lot.

"Hehehe...I...I feel better now Sesshoumaru-sama. Thank you." She said as she snuggled into him. "And by the way, I know that your little medicine's worn off so don't even think about trying anything mister."

"I believe the term you humans use is: you wish." He said as he wrapped his arm around her.

"Sesshoumaru-sama...you know just what to say to a girl." Rin smiled. 'You're just clueless about everything else.'

A faint chirping could be heard in the background as the two drifted off to la-la land. Faint echoes of Jaken-like pain could be felt in the peaceful wind. All was nowhere near right with the world. But sometimes- and this was one of those times- you just stop giving a damn...

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A/N: Ah yes, another chapter comes to an end. I'm planning on some 'I love you's for the next chapter(s) so I hope that you all will be looking forward to that. Of course, by now we are all aware of the fact that nothing in this story happens in the traditional way. Even (or should I say- especially) the grammar. Anyways, I hope nobody takes offense to anything in the chapter. Especially Sess/Kag authors. I mean no disrespect! I should get the next chapter out much quicker than this one. This was kinda hard because it was such an intermediate chapter but I think it worked out well in the end. And I hope the surprises were appreciated. Enough rambling. If I made somebody smile, or perhaps even laugh, then my mission is accomplished. Until next time my ever-patient audience! 

Of course, it should go without saying that reviews are always appreciated. Right, Ms. Smiley? :)