A New Beginning

Disclaimer: I own nothing, and JK owns all. I only own the plot and the skittles that I am eating. I don't own the song, Trapt does.

The pressure is building I want to break away
Motivation is lacking the point starts to fade
I look to the bottom still empty still the same
I'm waiting for something to show me the way
To the path that I should take, it's just too real to go ahead and fake
Every step that I make
Name your price I would give anything
I want to start over again
What do I want I have nothing to say
Whatever it is I want it today
Do we choose our own ground Do we choose to stay
Well I've seen too many throw it away
Do I see just one small chance to be myself to try and make it last
Every step that I take

This chapter is dedicated to dmhg because she was the first to review my story! Thank you so much for doing that! On with the story…

"Thanks Rosa," I mouthed, and smiled weakly. She smiled back and nodded her head with an all-knowing sort of look on her face. Too bad Rosa couldn't adopt me, I thought sadly. Well, at least it could be her that drove me, and not those bastards that are in the house right now. I realized that we should be going, so I walked slowly to the car, without saying goodbye to Caer and Alsondair. Well, It isn't like they deserved a goodbye, I said to myself. I opened the door to the car and slammed it shut. I stared blankly at the floor, waiting patiently for Rosa to return. After a few minutes of talking to the oh so caring family, Rosa came back to the car. (Note the sarcasm) Rosa turned around once she got into the car.

"This is going to be a long ride sweetie. I hope the next family will be better for you," She stated hopefully, in a small, but valiant attempt to brighten my spirit. I looked up from the floor and I beamed at her gratefully. She looked exactly like a grandmother would with her frizzy, gray hair pulled back in a loose bun. Her insightful pale, blue eyes beheld more understanding than I could even comprehend.

"Yeah, me too," I replied, and grinned at her. She flashed her wonderful smile one last time, and started the car. I pulled the seat belt around my small waist, and buckled it. After digging through my backpack, I successfully found my I-pod. I affixed my headphones over my ears and listened to System Of A Down, Roulette. I rested my head against the windowsill, and gazed out of it at the passing scenery. Everything turned blurry as Rosa stepped on the gas.

My vision warped into hazy sights, as I drifted into a sleep of malice laced dreams. I dreamt, against my will, of the day my mother was killed. She had been my best friend. If only I knew of the heartbreak that was to follow. That day that everything was taken from me, I was still only eight years old. My mother always wanted me to change my apperance about every month, and that month I had long, wavy blond hair and shocking violet eyes.

I was walking down a freezing, shadowy hall with many pictures of wizards on the walls. I saw, at the end of the hall, a large double-door. Light seemed to be glowing from it. Some of the wizards on the walls were talking in hushed tones to each other.

"Hello Phaedra," hissed a sinister voice that came from a very, old man. I hoped he was the only one who knew my name, or I was screwed. My mom always kept my name a secret, even the people who were after me didn't know my true mane. They all called my the Ultimate Weapon. I looked at the picture, with a confused look on my face. I continued walking, trying to reach my destination. The hall was very dark; the only light was coming from under the door.

I approached the door, and twisted the knob. I hesitated, but ended up pushing it open reluctantly. What I saw next was the scene that haunted all of my dreams, pulsed through my head every moment, and seared in front of my eyes every time I closed them.

I saw a sinister looking man standing in the middle of the room. He had long glimmering blonde hair and amazing blue eyes. He tapped his foot impatiently as if he were waiting for somthing. Then, he stalked over to my mom, and handcuffed her to a chair. He walked over to a fireplace in the corner and got a metal spike. I watched in horror as he stuck it into the flames and waited until it turned crimson red. He stepped back and smirked malevolently at Kestrel, my mother. She was trembling from fear, but she wouldn't let him have the satisfaction of knowing. Kestrel tried to stay strong, but she knew what she was about to endure. Then suddenly, it clucked. I knew this man that stood before me, about to take away everything I cared about. The being before me was Lucious Malfoy. I recognized him from many other occasions.

"Where is she?" Lucious bellowed. His eye twitched in anger, as he moved closer to her. His long blonde hair swished behind him. I stood there like a lifeless puppet; I now hate myself for that. When my mother needed me the most, I froze up. What kind of a daughter would do that?

"I don't know," my mother replied simply. On the outside, she looked calm, but one look at her eyes would tell you different. Her eyes were bewildered, as if she were a caged animal.

"Wrong answer," He roared as he drove the red-hot poker into one of my mom's hands. She screeched in pain as her flesh bubbled and burned. At that moment I woke from my trance and ran into the horrendous man with all of the force I could muster. He went flying across the room and hit the wall that was three feet away. Many people would say that a little girl of my size would never be able to do that, but with all of my suressed rage it was a simple feat. Lucious lay sprawled on the floor as I ran to my mom and hugged her. I was sobbing, as was she, and she was still quivering from the attack on her. I looked into her deep blue eyes that resembled mine in so many ways. Her hair was dark brown though, so my father must have had black hair because I sure didn't get mine from her. I wish I could freeze this moment forever, because it was the last time I was held in my mom's arms. I wish a lot of things, but none of those dreams will ever come true. The only things that ever come true are nightmares, and I will never forget it. If you don't expect anything you won't get hurt, but then what would life be?

I never saw it coming and maybe if I did, everything would have been different. The killer had gotten up and grabbed the back of my neck. He threw me on the floor and he kicked me in the stomach. I gasped for breath and he sniggered at me. He grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled my up to my feet. He then cast a spell to paralyze me so I would have to watch the morbid scene that was playing out in front of my eyes.

I saw a single tear run down my mother's face, and that was when I broke down, and tears of hate spilled down my cheeks. He walked up to my mom and smiled. How can anyone be that sick? I questioned myself. Lucious pulled out his wand again and pointed it in my mom's face. I would take it all away. Just so I wouldn't have to see what I did that day. Yes, regret is what I feel now that it is over. My fate had no mercy, pity, or remorse for me at all. It took everything that I cared about, away from me. But if it hates me so much, then why did it spare me? The angiush that is bottled up in me will never fade away. Once that kind of anger is felt, it is never forgotten. I tried to get rid of it, but it is like a parasite, eating away at my insides. It will always remain the way it is, taking over me. No longer would I ever feel like a kid, pure, light, and happy. This was the day my life changed. Now I am holding onto the memory of what didn't last.

"No, leave her alone! She didn't do anything to you!" I cried and he glared at me.

"What are you crying about? You think she didn't do anything to me? I think having you would sure as hell be enough. This whole thing is your fault. You cause more pain than you are worth. If you weren't born, you mother would still be a death eater; she wouldn't have gotten soft on us. The fact that she will die is all of your fault," He said in a harsh, accusing voice. I looked at the ground and let a few more tears slide down my already wet cheeks.

"No, honey, don't listen to him. He is trying to break you down. He is lying. You made me caring again! If I never had you, I would have never cared about a thing in my life. You brought me to life by being born. I love you and never forget that! I hid you for your own good, and don't ever think that this is your fault. I love you so much…" She trailed off in a desperate voice. I am glad that she kept me hidden from the death eaters, because they would have forced me to follow Voldemort. Iwould have been going against everything I believe in. But if I knew this would happen, I would have gladly given my life.

"Shut up woman," he yelled wretchedly, "Lets have a count down! One…" I felt more tears fall as I watched helplessly. I tried to turn my head, but to no avail.

"S-s-s-stop!" I stuttered as my frightened body shook violently.

"Two…" Lucious said happily.

"I love you mom," I whispered.

"Three, Avada Kedavra," Lucious yelled and grinned gleefully.

"Noooo!" I shrieked, but no one heard it, because my mother's pain-filled screamed drowned out everything. There has to be more to life than this! Life is just one damned thing after another, I thought bitterly. I watched with tear filled eyes, and sobbed uncontrollably. My mother's killer strided over to me. He undid the spell that binded me to that spot. As soon as he did, I bolted over to my mom and hugged her lifeless body. I was clinging to her as I cried convulsively. He grabbed the back of my neck and held my head close to my mother's face.

"Do you see what you have done to your own mother? If it weren't for you, she would still be alive! You killed your mother! Now you are going to have to live with that," He screamed in my face.

"No I didn't, it wasn't my fault!" I blubbered. Tears were now flowing freely down my drenched cheeks. Could it be my fault? I thought very bewilderedly.

"It is your fault! What kind of a person are you!" He roared. I knew deep down that none of it was my fault, but all of what he said had his affects on me. It is true, I thought, she would still be alive if I was never born. The reason she would never breath again was my fault. She would never smile again because of me. She was lying on the floor dead because of me. My faith in anything was now replaced with a cold logic. I drink too much these days, and don't believe in much of anything. Besides, what was there to believe in? Yeah that is right, absolutely nothing.

"Kill me! I don't have anymore reasons to live," I sobbed and let the last tear fall down.

"I'd be happy to, but my master has a more important use for you," he said happily. Right at that moment, I heard a pop and realized that a group of people had apparated into the room. All ten of them I had never seen in my life. They all shouted a variety of spells that I didn't know. They came flying towards Lucious and me. I closed my eyes and anticipated the pain that was to come. To my surprise and disappointment, nothing came. I re-opened my eyes to see the spells all reflect from me. One of the men ran forward and grasped me. Everyone went to kill Luscious, but it was too late; he had already apparated.

I was shaken into reality, and looked up to see Rosa sitting next to me with a worried look on her face. That happened a whole nine years ago. How is it possible to live so many years without a life? Well, what was left of it after that incident anyways?

"Phaedra, are you alright? You really scared me for a second. You know we are at the new house right now," Rosa said in a rushed tone.

"Rosa, what happened?" I asked dully while sitting up. The look on my face must have been very confused.

"I'm not sure. One second you were sleeping, and the next you were shaking really violently. You were mumbling no and a lot of other random stuff. You really scared me!" Rosa said worriedly. I hope I didn't way anything that will hurt me, I said to myself.

"Well, that must have been interesting to watch," I said in a small hope to brighten the mood. She gave me a solacing smile. I am so glad she doesn't pry into things like that, I thought.

"Oh, you bet it was. We better go meet your new fosters," She informed me. It is sort of an inside joke that we share, that we always call them 'fosters'.

"Yeah, I kind of forgot about that," I said unsurely. Damn, more people to abandon me, I said to myself. I slowly opened my car door and stepped outside. For A second the sun blinded me and I had to squint for a while. When I opened my eyes, to my horror I realized that Lucious was standing in front of me smirking. I stood there dumbly with my mouth wide open. Good thing that he didn't recognize me. Well, how could he? I looked different then with my blond hair. Good thing I am a shape shifter or he would have already killed me, I said silently. How am I supposed to live with this thing? Tears started to well up in my eyes as all of those bad memories burned through my mind. I was snapped rudely into the real world when he spoke to me in his nasty voice that sent chills down my spine.

"Hello, Phaedra. We are very glad to have you here," He said kindly, but his voice was still chilling. Well, at least he doesn't recognize me, because if he did, he would bring me right to Voldemort, I thought. Then Lucious stepped a little to the right to reveal his family. The first person I noticed was a bleach blond haired woman with shockingly blue eyes. She gave me a fake and forced smile. Her straight teeth were glimmering in the sunlight. She had her arm rapped around a boy that looked about my age, and her looked unhappy about the placement of his mother's arm. He looked cold-hearted and mean, but somehow I couldn't blame him with the parents he has. His shaggy platinum blond hair was dangling in his eyes slightly. Impenetrable grayish/blue eyes met my gaze as I wondered about him. They were so entrancing that I was staring at them for a while until I realized what I was doing and stopped.

"This is my son Draco, who will be keeping you busy here," Lucious stated. He seemed to have been lost in my eyes until his dad opened his mouth.

"Well, I best be going now. I hope you have a good time," Rosa said and walked to her car.

"Yeah, bye," I said desperately. I don't want to be here, I said in my head. Not with my mom's killer, I don't think I can bare it to see him every day. I watched as Rosa got into the car and left, soon only becoming a spot in the horizon. I turned back to the Malfoy family and gave them a feeble smile. Narcissa smiled warmly at me and spoke to me.

"Well, Phaedra, why don't we go inside and get you settled in. I hope you feel at home here," Narcissa said kindly and smiled at me gently. I was indeed very grateful for her compassion toward me, and it did make me feel more at home here. Draco's eyes were still glued onto mine and I again looked into his haunting eyes. I saw a flicker of emotion, for about a split second, and then they went back to their normal impassiveness that I saw in them earlier. I strode along with Narcissa with Draco and his father walking behind us. And this is the same place that a started my new life, a new beginning.

Hey guys! I put that song at the beginning because I thought it really went along with this chapter. I really don't know if anyone is even reading this story, but I love to write. Please review my story so I can see where I need to improve. Sorry It took me so long to get this up, this site wouldn't let me sign on.