Hope never dies

I couldn't believe she was gone. Or actually I just didn't want to believe it.
Her father had just pulled her out of my life, without even saying if they'll ever come back. Her father…how badly had I wanted to tell her this morning about my own father! But I just couldn't, knowing that she would have been so worried about me while she had her own problems to deal with.
The only comfort I had was the little necklace I had given her. At least Angel would have some protection. Tears came into my eyes as I thought about her. I was afraid I had lost my best and only friend in the world. No girl had ever been able to understand me, but she did. Her cheerful smile and twinkling eyes remained in my heart. I remembered her writing down words in her notebook, focused only on the story she was telling. I also remembered the look on her face as she wrote: completely happy, with no worries at all.
I walked down the stairs to find my mother. She was behind the bar, busy to count the money. I knew she didn't wanted to be disturbed when she counted the money, but I just had to ask it to her. I just had to know.
"Mom?", I began.
She looked up. I noticed that she was nervous, just like Angel's father had been this morning. Had they talked? I didn't know.
"Yes?", she said.
"Do you think they'll come back?"
She sighed. My mother clearly wasn't in the mood for this.
"No Jim, I'm afraid not."
I lowered my eyes. To be honest I had already expect this answer. Life just isn't fair. Not even my own mother could understand me like Angel could.
She looked at me with confusion.
"Why do you care?", she said, "You've only met the girl one day ago and you didn't seem like you would miss her father much. Besides…"
"I gave her the Angel necklace, mom!", I interrupted.
My mother opened her mouth with astonishment.
"The one your father left for you?"
I nodded. "Do you know any other Angel necklace?"
She shook her head in disbelief. She knew that thing was saint to me, so it had to be really someone special if I had given it to her. And she was someone special, I thought, as I ran outside.
At this point there was only one thing that could clear my head and that I wanted to do: Solar Surfing. I would feel free up in the air and maybe it could help me understand why this had happened. It was all so strange. One moment I had a wonderful friend, and the next she was taken away from me.

I flew through the air at my top speed. With the help of my sail I got higher and higher. This was it; this was the moment. With one step of my foot I made the sail disappear. I was so upset about Angel leaving that I made one perfect looping after another. It all came out with no trouble at all.
For some reason my solar-surfing was always better when I was angry or upset.
When I was all the way down I let the sail come out again. I passed my obstacles with a certain control and screamed out loud of happiness. It gave me such a great feeling to be up in the sky; there I was free.
I went for a second round of loopings and got further and further away from the Benbow Inn. I had no plans of returning home soon, although I knew my mother wouldn't be happy about it.
I gave the surfer more speed, in order to be able to make some spinnings afterwards. With my hands on the metal bar of the sail I felt everything and nothing at the same time. I think I was the same with Solar-Surfing as Angel was with writing: completely happy when I did it.

"James Pleiades Hawkins! How many times do I have to tell you?"
I sighed. Typical for my mother to give me the 'responsible-for-your-actions-speech' while I was old enough to take care of myself.
"Mom", I said, "I'm seventeen now. I'm not doing anything stupid. Just losing some energy, clearing my head."
She looked at me in a way she was listening to something she had already heard before, but didn't believe anymore. She was pretty mad at me, and a part of me did understand her, but I had given up the Surfing in restricted areas since I was fifteen, so there was nothing to worry about.
"What if you got hurt?", she sneered back.
I put my hand on my mothers shoulder and smiled at her.
"That won't happen", I assured her, "I've had years of practice."
She turned around and looked through the window.
"You're exactly like your father! Irresponsible and dangerous."
I froze. Immediately memories of the past float through my head. Tears came into my eyes as I thought about the endless trying, the endless scream for love that I never got. I didn't want to turn out like my father.
My mother knew she had hit me on my weak spot, and regretted her words the minute she had spoken them.
"Jim, I…"
She looked around, but I was already gone. I ran to my room and slammed with the door. I could not believe she said that. All those years I had longed for my father to come back, but he never came. Life hadn't been easy without him, but I somehow had been able to mange it on my own.
I sat on my bed with my knees up and my pillow tightly in my hands. As I looked to the stars out my window I thought about Angel.
"Will you come back or are you just gonna leave me like he did?", I whispered.
It gave me some comfort to think that she could be watching the same stars as I did now. In that way we were still together.
From then on I sat there every night, hoping that she would come back.
But she didn't came. Months flew by without hearing anything from her.
As my worry grew by the day, my mother seemed more relaxed when there was
no news from Angel or her father. I wondered why, but I didn't wanted to ask her.
With time my hope faded, but it hadn't left me yet. I still believed that there would come a day when we would be together again.