Chapter 2: The meeting of the minds......sort of....
"Do you post as 'SlayerofSlayers' on Moviepoopshoot dot com?" came the voice from the other side of the door way.
"I used too. But I am the Slayer of Slayers little boys."
"Get him!" all of the sudden two fists came at Spike's head. Knocking him to the ground. Then two people stepped into the crypt and started kicking Spike. Dawn jumped up from her seat.
"Hey! What do you think you're doing?" Dawn yelled at the duo kicking her friend. The two of them stopped right away and looked over at Dawn.
"Check it out lunchbox, not only does this pansy ass bitch talk shit about us, but he keeps little girls in his place. That's pretty fucked up yo." the taller skinny one said to the fat one.
"Who are you two? And why did you attack Spike?" Dawn asked. A little bit on the upset side.
"I'm Jay, and this is my hedro life mate, Silent Bob" the fat one, obviously Silent Bob, waved at Dawn. "And the reason we were kicking the shit out of the peroxided little bitch there, was cause he was talking shit about me and tubby here on the net. And we don't take that kind of shit from little bitches. So we've been going around kicking ass. Representing, Jersey Style."
"I didn't even know Spike knew how to use a computer....." then Dawn saw that Jay and Silent Bob had one more in their company. An ape. "Um....excuse me...but is that a monkey?" Dawn asked.
Jay lowers his head towards his crotch and says "yes ma'am it is." Silent Bob smacks Jay in the arm, pointing at Suzzane. "Oh, her. Yeah, that's Suzzane. She's Tubby's. But she's cool. Coolest fucking ape i ever knew." Spike starts to stir, coming to. "Come on Silent Bob, lets get out of here." They head out the door. Dawn fallows after them.
"Hey, wait up. I'm coming with you guys." Dawn yells after them.
"Fucken figures, as soon as i get a girlfriend, the bitches be all over me." The stop and wait up for Dawn.
"Thanks for waiting up. So, where are we going?"
"Shit, you ask me like i know where i'm going, let alone we. All i know is that me and tons of fun are headed out to kick some more ass....where we headed to next lunchbox?" Silent Bob rumages through his coat, producing two tickets and showing them to Jay. "Where the fuck is Poplar Montana?" Silent bob shrugs his shoulders.
"So, you guys are headed to Montana?"
"Guess so."
"Cool, i've never been to Montana."
"Wait, hold up. Since when the fuck are you coming along? This ain't no cover band....i ain't get arrested for being with a little girl....at least, not again...." Silent Bob nods his head at his partner, Suzanne hanging on his shoulders.
"Hey, i was told i was going to meet you guys, and you were going to lead me some where."
"Holy fucking deja vu. Was the person that told you this a guy wearing all black? Black hair, fucking disgruntaled? seemed like he's need to get laid for fucking ever?"
"That's him"
"Fuck, fuck, fuck. Fucking bitch always has to come to us. I swear silent bob, the whole fucking world is against us. And this time the girl is too young to suck either one of us off......" Jay grumbles some more, dropping his head.
"So, can i come with you guys?" Dawn pleads.
"Yeah, i guess. Not like we can tell God no. Girl's done some good for us."
"Girl?" Dawn looks at Jay with a little bit of puzzlement, remembering a comment Metatron made.
"God's a chick yo. Didn't you know that? And a fine ass one at that. She even kissed me." with those last words, Jay blushes a little.
"Wow, i did not know that. Anyway, before we head out, i need to stop by my house and grab some stuff, and leave a note and what not."
"Yous got any food?"
"Um...sure..."said Dawn as she started to walk out of the cemetary towards her house.
"Sweet, i gots me some mother fucking munchies...."
Dawn, Jay, Silent Bob and Suzanne all entered the Summers' residance. Tera, Willow, Xander and Anya were all sitting around the table. The looked up when Dawn entered.
"Where have you been young lady?" Willow asked, sounding a little annoyed.
"Jeeze, chill out. Its only 8. And i've been at Spike's." This made Willow and Xander a bit upset. Neither of them ever liked Spike. And the idea of Dawn hanging out with them wasn't very high on there list of favorite things.
"Who are these guys?" Xander asked.
"I'm Jay, and this is my hedro life mate, Silent Bob." Silent Bob waved at the group. Everyone just looks at them. None of them can come up with anything to say.
"I met them at Spikes.....they showed up and sort of beat him up."
"Ok, i like these guys already." Xander gave his stamp of approval.
"Yeah, that blonde haired bitch wasn't nothen. We knocked his bitch ass our real quick" The groupe just looked at him, they weren't very used to formal profanity....yet.
"Other then beating Spiek senseless, which we are all gratefull for, what brings you guys to Sunnydale?" Xander asks?
"Few weeks ago, they makes this movie about us, but not really about us. And all these fucking bitches on the internet start talking shit about me and lunchbox. So we go to hollywood to shut down there asses. But decided not too after we realize how much money we'd get. Sos we decided to use some of that money to fly around and beat the fuck out of all the little bitches talking shit about us, and that blonde haired little bitch happened to be one. So we represented."
Every one just looks at them for a moment, before Xander respondes, "I have no idea what you just said.
"I get that a lot....."
"Um...guys...this is going to sound really weird, but i'm leaving with these guys for a little while." Dawn said after a moment of silence.
Right away Willow says "No you're not Dawn. You just met these guys, and you're not going to run off with them. This isn't some low brow T.V show." Everyone in the room all of the sudden looks at the far wall.
"You don't understand. I've been given a quest....by god of all people. And these two are going to be my guides." Willow just looks at Dawn for a moment. Then replies.
"Dawny...i know you're having a hard time adjusting....but making up stories and running off with complete strangers isn't going to help....."
"I'm not making anything up. I have really been given a quest to save the world."
"Ok Dawn, if you think you're going to save the world, we'll all go. We could use a change of scenery." Tera says all of the sudden, no one really expecting it. Willow kind of glares at Tera.
"That would be cool, but i was told you all have to stay here. Protect Sunnydale and everything. But don't worry, i'll be fine. I'm the sister of the Slayer."
"What the fuck is a slayer?" Jay pipes in. Again, everyone just looks at him.
"I don't know about this Dawn, how about we discuss this tomorrow. After you've had a night to sleep on it?" Willow suggests.
"Ok....." Dawn says, sitting down at the table.
"Hey, yos. Everyone's so down. I got just the thing for it." Jay pulls out a bag of weed. "My own sort of herbal theraby." Willow and Tera look at the bag, wondering if Jay might be some kind of magician. However, Xander realizes what it really is.
"Jay, don't be smoking that around Dawn. In fact, i don't think it'd be a good idea of you 'rolled up' in here."
"Xander, don't be so uptight. I, for one, would like to take a hit of some nice buds." This was the first thing Anya had said since Dawn and her new friends had arrived. Xander couldn't believe what his soon to be wife was saying. "Pass that shit Jay." With that command, Jay rolles up a nice fat blunt, lights it, takes a puff and passes it to Anya. Everyone just stares on in amazment.
"I'll try that." Tera says, holding out her hand towards Anya. She takes a big puff and hands it over to Willow.
"But i've never done drugs before....."
"Don't worry hun. We're in college. Pot is part of the expierence. And besides, not that much different then some of the spells we've done." Tera winks at Willow. Willow takes a nice big puff. Xander reaches for it and says. "Hell, might as well."
Soon the entire Scooby gang is high as hell. Except Dawn, who stays away from the much pot smoking. Much to those who notice's approval. After a little while, Jay pulls out a couple 40s from nowhere. "Ok, people, time to take care of that mother fucking thirst i know we alls got."
Between the pot and beer, two hours later, everyone is passed out. Except for Dawn of course, who went up to her room not too long after things started. She packed up some things in a bag and headed back downstairs. She nudges Jay.
"Hey, wake up."
"Mmmmmmm.....Justice....your hands feel sooo good yo."
"Jay, wake up, we're leaving." Jay gets up, and smacks Silent Bob, who in turn gets up. The four of them head towards the door. Leaving behind them a group of passed out co-eds.
An hour later found Dawn, Jay, Silent Bob and Suzanne on the out skirts of Sunnydale. It was still dark out, and Dawn knew what that could mean.....and of course Murphy's law is always in action.
As the four of them walk down the street. A single figure appears before them. "Hello my pretty. What are you doing out so late? And in the company of such drags?"
"Get lost creep." Dawn replied. All of the sudden, there's more then just the one guy. More and more seem to appear from the shadows.
"I don't think so pet. I'm going to have a little fun with you. And there's not a thing you, or your butt loving friends can do about it."
"Hey, who the fuck you calling gay you fucking bitch? I"ll fuck you up?" Dawn elbows Jay in the ribs and whispers "These guys aren't human....and they outnumber us greatly." "So?" Dawn just rolls her eyes. By this point, there are close to 20 vampire surrounding them. Jay and Silent Bob get ready to fight. And all the vampires look as though they're about to pounce. Then everyone hears a loud voice yell from above.
"SOLAR FLARE!!!"