A/N: I just found out that the waffle house used in Threads is actually Der Waffle Haus from Dead Like Me! How cool is that!

Sam made her way across the street, wondering what was happening. A crowd had gathered, and everyone was shoving to get a closer look at….something…. She stood on her toes. Thanks god for her height. From what she could see, a young man was trying to revive a woman. So far, it didn't seem to be working. The shriek of an ambulance announced its arrival, and the crowd dispersed, making way for the paramedics, and allowing Sam to get a better view –

of herself.

Sam burst into a mix of hysterical giggles and sobs. When the hell had she died! Behind her, the paramedics continued working on her lifeless corpse.

"Charging to 360…"

"Clear!"

Things do not appear to be going so well…She snorted. Well that was the understatement of the century.

"Are you ok?" a man she didn't know asked.

She stared at him. For the first time in her life, she was lost for words.

"I'm – I'm –"

"Dead?" he filled in. The word made her feel like she'd snorted wiz fizz. Her brain started spinning and she exploded, "How the hell can I be dead! WHY am I dead! I'm 36 for crying out loud! No-one dies at 36!"

"Everyone's got an appointment. Yours just happened to be now."

"But I didn't make an appointment."

"You didn't have to. It was made for you."

"Can't you just…unmake it for me?"

"Sorry, peanut. Everybody's gotta die sooner or later."

"Excuse me! Peanut!"

Slowly it dawned on her. Oh no… I died eating peanut m and m's! Sam cracked up laughing. She laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed until tears streamed down her face. After 8 years at the SGC, being tortured and shot and blended and infected with alien viruses and blowing up suns and having her mind downloaded into computers and so on and so forth, etc (man she got tired just thinking about her SGC life!), she'd died from eating a peanut m and m. Death had a wicked sense of humour.

"So, what now? Are you here to help me ascend?"

"Sorry, there's no onwards and upwards for you."

"You're sending me to hell!" Sam screeched. "You dick!"

"No, no, you're not going anywhere."

"So, I'm…what?"

The man smiled at her, a nice, reassuring smile.

"Do you remember that homeless guy who asked you your name right before you died?"

"Yeah." He had that whole creepy stalker thing going on. Quite like Pete, actually…

"Well, he was one of the undead."

"What, you mean, a zombie?"

"No, a reaper. You see, when someone dies, someone needs to be there to remove their souls. That's the reaper's job."

"Remove their what!"

"Their souls. You know – spirit, essence, life force. That kind of thing."

Sam snorted.

"Well, what do you think you are now?"

She thought about it for a moment. The scientific part of her mind – the part that was currently trying to put this all down to some kind of hallucinogenic plant from P4X – 527 – scoffed at the idea of a soul, whilst the other part - the normal part, if you will, that had seen Daniel die and come back to life more times than a soapie star, considered the idea. Finally, she decided an experiment to test this hypothesis was in order. Sam bent to pick a rock and gaped as her hand passed straight through it. She looked up at the man, who simply looked back at her. Screw him and the horse he rode in on, Sam thought harshly. That damn friendly, wise image was starting to get annoying. She felt like shouting at him for a while, maybe slamming him against a wall O'Neill-style. But though that might make her feel better, frankly, it wouldn't get her anywhere. She sighed.

"So, what does being a reaper entail?"

He smiled.

"Feel like a waffle, peanut?"