Summary: Ch2. Ursula finds an old guitar and they attempt to tackle a certain odour-problem.
Warning: Some scenes might be too horrifying to smaller children. AAAAAH!
Phoebe's adventures.
The one with the ugly naked bath.
"Look what I found!" the devilish twin surprised me from behind.
"It's a…what is it?" I ask, looking at the weird instrument in her hand.
"It's a guitar, silly. Mum used to have one of those, remember?"
"Oh yeah, wow." I admire the brown instrument in my sisters hands. Some of the silver strings are ripped and the strap is all mouldy, but it still looks beautiful.
"I'm gonna go to Loule to see how much its worth, coming?" she asked, not taking her eye of the treasure in front of her.
"Can I buy it?" I wonder, my eyes beginning to shine.
"Um…ok, since you're my sister I guess I could." she smirks
"YAY! How much?" I wonder, stroking the gentle wood, glazed with red and brown paint.
"Um…15 dollars." I stare
"If I had 15 dollars, I wouldn't be sleeping in a box" I point out "I'd get a mattress" we both sigh and stare into space. Nothing better than a mattress.
"Fine then, you cant have it." she walks away and I pout. The pure evil just doesn't want me to have something that she doesn't.
I fluff the sweater under my head and fall asleep. I know it's the middle of the day, but there's nothing better to do. A revolting smell wakes me up.
I know what you're thinking. She lives in a dumpster, that's full of revolting smells, but not quite as revolting as this one. It's been like this for nearly a month and each day the smell got worse. I squeezed my nose with my hair clip and went back to sleep.
"Wake up!" Ursula nudged me.
"What?" I stared at her, my voice high and squeaky coz the hair clip was still dug deep into my nose.
"Still?" Ursula asks me, fanning the air around her
"Still" I sigh, as she sits down beside me. Ugly naked gal hasn't washed in over a year and her skin is beginning to get darker every day.
We sit next to each other, not saying a word, trying to get the horrible smell out of our head, or at least our noses.
"So…" I mumble trying to talk to my complete opposite "D'ya sell the guitar?"
"Yeah, Loule sold it to me for 4 bucks." she's still fanning the air around her.
"4 bucks! I could have sold my cat skull and given you twice as much!" I whine.
"Oh well, too late." she smirks.
I pout. Even if she had to give it away for free, Ursula would never EVER want to see me happy. I growl.
"What are we gonna do about the smell?" Ugly naked gal is all the way over on the other side of the alley, but the smell still reached us. I could see cats running away from her, as Mrs Giggles tries to catch one. What kind of people are we surrounded by? I sigh.
That night we're planning to get rid of the horrible smell once and for all. We're gonna perform the impossible, ladies and gentlemen, we're gonna give ugly naked gal…a bath. That's right. We got some brushes and buckets with soap water from Loule. For those of you who don't know him. That's most of you. He's the businessman of the trash can, the king of the garbage world, he has everything and I mean everything, he's one of my dear old friends.
Anyway back to the bath. Everyone in our neighbourhood is bothered by the smell and they all heard about our plan. Some are even brave enough to watch.
We call it…the Ugly Naked Bath…dum dum dum!
We're waiting 'till about 9pm for the ugly naked gal to fall asleep.
"Wow." My sister is amazed by how brave we grown up to be. "If this works we'll be famous."
"I know, isn't it exciting?" I smile, me and my sis are gonna bond.
"Not really" she frowns. "It's icky!" she informs me and I raise an eyebrow
"Not as icky as the smell."
"I guess you're right" she agrees, giving me one of her fake smiles.
We get the brushes ready. At 9pm exactly, we hear loud, grumpy snoring. Ok. I try to calm myself, as we walk towards the big lump of skin. I nod at my sister who gently pours the bucket of water over the sleeping…er…monster and we begin…
Ladies and gentlemen. I'm afraid that the next few minutes will be cut out from the show, seeing as they are too horrifying and scaring to the eyes, instead we're going to talk about turtles…Enjoy.
And so the mother turtle is happy that her 20 little baby turtles are finally hatched from their eggs and she watched them walk away into the sea, a tear down her rough face. Her babies are all grown up…
We would like to inform you that it is now safe to tell you the rest of 'Phoebe's Stories.' Sadly the two twins have failed in giving the giant woman a bath. But thankfully, she couldn't get up quick enough to chase the lovely girls down the alley.
You would also like to know that being the clever girls that they are, using Ursula's 4 dollars, they bought an air freshener for their little boxes and now everyone is happy…apart from about 30 other homeless people who are now living in a different neighbourhood, where the smell isn't as strong…
Hope you likes the bath story. It's a bit mean, I gotta say, but hey, that's the way it is in F.R.I.E.N.D.S. so we do it too. Apologies to anyone who got offended. J
More weird and crazy stories of the dumpster life are coming soon!