Disclaimer: I still don't own Gilmore Girls, although, I wish I owned Luke and Jess.

Chapter 37

Someone in heaven likes me. That's right. Someone up there likes me. In two months, I married the woman of my dreams and moved into the house I've admired my whole life. To top it off, my crazy, beautiful wife is going to have my baby. I stress the word crazy. Now that she can't have coffee, she's crazier than I ever thought imaginable. But I can't complain. Seriously, I can't complain. She won't let me.

Not only is she crazier, she's more emotional. The week before we moved, she told me how much she was going to miss the house and how she and Rory lived there for ten years and a bunch of other things that just kept making her cry. She was so sad, I actually thought about reconsidering moving. But she insisted that we did. I had to do something for her. So I worked on a project for her at our new house. We moved into the new Danes residence. After Jess and I brought in the furniture and the boxes, I brought Lorelai upstairs and showed her my surprise.

"Oh my God," she gasped when we walked into the room and looked around. I had turned one of the rooms into a nursery. I painted, put in furniture, and filled the room with baby clothes and teddy bears. She was trying not to cry. "I can't believe you did this for me."

"You were so sad, I had to do something," I told her. I walked up behind her. "I built the crib, the dresser, and the rocking chair."

"Are they stable?"

"I personally sat in the rocking chair, Logan stood on the dresser, and I put Jess in the crib." Man, that was funny. I tied Jess up and tossed him in the crib. I took pictures too. Lorelai turned around and hugged me. That's what it's all about.

Lorelai can be this sensitive, love-dovey, "hold me because I'm about to cry" woman, but then…oh man. She can turn on you in a split second. I don't know what it is, but when she starts yelling at me I can't move. I just sit there and stare at her while she lets me have it. She gets pissed off that I'm not defending myself, but when I do defend myself she goes nuts! I can't win with that Lorelai. She's mean when she's mad. There was once when she thought I was hiding from her. She found me. And she yelled. Oh boy did she yell. Again, the brain-legs coordination was horrible.

It was when she started to grow a belly. She couldn't fit into a pair of pants and I noticed they were my pants. I told her and then she started to stare at me with this look. That look. It sends shivers down my spine just thinking about it. Then came the yelling. It was like she'd turned into her mother and I was one of the maids, but I wasn't stupid enough to say that out loud. She told me to leave, so I did. I didn't want there to be an argument. I figured she needed time alone and I respectfully obliged. After she stormed out of the room, I grabbed the baby book I'd been reading and headed to the diner. I went into the storage room, shut the door, and started to read.

"Where is he?" I heard her yell. Oh shit. She sounded mad. Very mad. "Jess! Where is he?"

"In the storage room," Jess replied immediately. He's more afraid of her than I am.

I knew needed to get out of there. I stood up and looked for means of escape. Then it hit me. I was in the storage room. There was no way out! Now I really did have to hide. That was my only option. I was looking for a little space I could crawl into behind the boxes when I heard the door shut. She found me. Maybe if I don't move, she wouldn't notice me. Who am I kidding? I slowly turned around and faced my very angry, very pregnant wife.

"Now honey, don't…don't get yourself worked up here," I pleaded.

"You ran out of the house when I left the room," she said.

"You told me to leave." She started to come toward me. Run you idiot! Run! I didn't run. I was frozen. I did manage to say, "Remember you love me."

"Did you really think I didn't know where you'd go? You hid at your friggin' diner! God, Luke, you ran out on me!" She backed me into the corner. I think she's gonna try to beat me up. Correction, she can beat me up. "Is this how it's gonna be Luke? You get scared and you run away and hide like a little girl?"

I try not to remember what she said after that. It was mean. She called me a spineless jellyfish. I think at one point she called me Nancy. I never understood why people do that. I remember everyone in the diner was silent and staring at me as Lorelai dragged me out of there by the ear. After we left, I swear I could still hear them laughing when we got home.

Then, there's the food cravings. We made an agreement that I would eat whatever she ate- that is until it got to the really weird crap. In the beginning, it was the usual things I disapproved of- hamburgers, fries, pies, questionable Chinese food. I waited for the disgusting stuff- to me, I was already eating the disgusting crap- to come in play. Then something happened. She was eating, dare I say it, healthy. That's right. What she used to hate eating-the things I practically bribed her to eat and she still cheated me out of- she can't get enough of. I'm talking about salad, vegetables, and food that doesn't increase your chances of clogged arteries. The day came when Lorelai began to ask for food like peanut butter pickles with a side of mashed potatoes and maple syrup. Those foods were as dependable as her mood. Here one minute, gone the next.

Despite the mood swings, morning sickness, and food cravings, I'm loving this pregnancy thing. Lorelai's hormones aren't just affecting her mood. They're affecting other things. Dirty things. Making love to my wife is great all on it's own, but when the hormones kicked in she does things that I never thought possible. She's gotten so aggressive, sometimes I don't think I can keep up but I always do. There was a day she actually came to the diner and dragged me upstairs for some dirtiness- Kirk decided to move in with Lulu. With forty-seven jobs, he couldn't afford to pay me rent. Don't ask how or why because wouldn't know.

I was taking an order when I heard the bells above the door jingle. Next thing I knew, my ordering pad was pulled out of my hand and Lorelai's dragging me toward the curtain.

"Hey! I'm working here," I said as I struggled against her.

"Jess! You're in charge!" she yelled. Jess nodded. He learned it was easier not to fight her.

"Lorelai, what are you…" I didn't get to finish my sentence. Once we were behind the curtain, she pushed me against the wall and started kissing me like there was no tomorrow.

"Upstairs. Now!" I love it when she takes charge.

The second we got into the apartment she started to rip both our clothes off. I won't go into the gory details of what we did that day, but I will say this. I walked into that diner with the biggest, brightest smile across my face. And by the glares I was getting, I'm pretty sure everyone knew why.

It still amazes me why a woman like Lorelai Gilmore would be interested in a man like me. I was nothing like any of the other men she dated. They had money, real jobs. As for me, I've lived in this friggin' town all my life and all I had to show for all my hard work was a diner that used to be a hardware store. In reality, I think I only had two competitions: Max and Christopher. I'll admit, when we saw Max that day at the restaurant, I felt threatened. Wouldn't you? He was going to marry Lorelai. The day he walked into the diner for coffee when he moved into town, I knew I had to do something. So I took a page out of Gilmore book and manipulated Max. Now he's dating my ex-girlfriend. And between you and me, he's gonna propose. Then there's Christopher. The man that will never go away, no matter how hard I try. He'll forever be in Lorelai's life because he's Rory's father. But we all know who'd kick who's ass if we ever got in a fist fight. Man, I'd love to break that guy's neck.

One thing I did that really got on Lorelai's nerves was the fact that I refused to know what the sex of the baby was going to be. I'm going in the delivery room when she goes into labor, but I don't want to know what the baby is until it actually comes out. I just wanted to be surprised. I mean, we already came up with names for the baby so we're set either way. I wasn't the only one on the "I don't wanna know the sex of the baby" wagon. Rory, Jackson, Kirk, Lane, Richard, and Emily were just a few people on "my side". Anyone that stepped foot into the diner wasn't allowed to talk about the sex of the baby or I'd throw them out. Literally. I took personal pleasure in throwing Taylor out flat on his ass. At the next town meeting, he announced that I was serious and people should heed my warnings while he rubbed his sore spot when he thought no one was looking. Kirk jumped out of his seat, pointed at Taylor and yelled, "He's rubbing his butt because he didn't listen to Luke! You need to listen to Luke or you'll be rubbing your butt too!" Kirk is a very odd young man.

This whole experience has been insane. There have been good days and bad days and the occasional misunderstanding, but I was there. I was always there. I never ran away (I hope she realizes that now). There were times when I didn't think I could handle it or her. There were times when I thought I wasn't cut out to be a dad. And yet, I stayed. I stuck with her through all the mood swings, all the cravings, all the appointments, all the screaming, all the fighting, all the laughs, all the tears- I was there for it all.

It's the beginning of January and Lorelai is three weeks over due. It's become abundantly clear that we're going to have to induce labor. The doctor gave us a list of suggestions of ways to do so. We can't do the spicy foods because she's going through a phase where she hates spicy foods. Walking was out of the question too. She can barely make it down the block without her ankles feeling too sore. That left one option. The one I just so happened not to feel so comfortable about doing- not that I wouldn't mind doing it. That calls for a dirty. What they want me to do is dirty! Ok, I'll jump at any opportunity to make love to my wife, just not when she's three weeks past her due date. I might hurt the baby. Especially since we haven't been intimate in months and I can't exactly touch myself without her knowing. That's another thing. How does she know? It's like she's got cameras watching me twenty-four/seven. None the less, if we had sex, I'd be rough. I won't lie. I'll give it to her like never before. I hate to be crude, but it's the truth! We're not having sex and that's final!

So I'm getting naked, when suddenly she starts to cringe. This is putting a major dent in my ego. I'm naked and Lorelai's cringing. Then she started to scream. Holy crap. She wasn't cringing because I was naked. She was cringing because her water broke and she's going into labor! Oh my God! What the hell am I supposed to do? While I ponder this thought, the door swings open and Rory and Jess are at the door. I grab the first thing I see to cover myself. My baseball cap isn't doing a good job of covering me.

"Luke! You're naked!" Rory yelled as she covered her eyes.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Jess added.

"I was trying to induce labor!" I yelled back.

"By getting naked and playing with yourself?"

"I wasn't playing with myself! The doctor told me to have sex with Lorelai!"

"You're paying for my therapy!" Rory said, still covering her eyes.

I back toward the dresser and put some boxers on. I toss my hat aside (Jess and Rory leap out of it's path) and run to my wife. "Honey, are you ok?" I asked.

"We have to get to the hospital," she stated. "This baby wants out and it wants out now!"

I had to take charge. I told Jess to start the van- by the way, Richard and Emily bought us a minivan as a baby shower gift- and had Rory make the calls- Sookie, her grandparents, Liz, Max and Rachel, and Patty. I put clothes on and helped Lorelai downstairs. We were on our way to the hospital in less than five minutes. We were at the hospital in less than five minutes- I was a mad man on that road. Plus the Stars Hollow Hospital is a few blocks away from the house. Lorelai was prepped and brought to the delivery room. I was having trouble with those fruity scrubs. I finally got them on and joined my wife in the delivery room. I held her hand and tried to calm her down with words of encouragement, but it only seemed to get her madder.

"Ok, you're doing just fine," I said to her. "You're doing great honey."

"Shut up! What the hell do you know?"

"I was just…uh…I love you?"

"Well I hate you for doing this to me! I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. It just hurts. How could I forget how much this hurts?"

"I'm not gonna forget," I groaned. She was crushing my hand. Oh Jesus. She's crushing my hand! I can forget about teaching the kid to play baseball.

"Ok Mrs. Danes, you're just about ready to start pushing," the doctor said. "On three, I want you to give us a big push. One, two, and three."

I know I shouldn't be getting jealous, but I really don't like the fact that the doctor's looking at her…downstairs. I felt like yelling, "Hey! Cover your eyes buddy! That's my wife you're staring at!" But then again, I think it would be difficult to deliver a baby with your eyes closed. I let it pass. But if he's still staring after that kid comes out, I'm kicking ass. Twenty minutes and one broken hand later, I hear the first cries of my baby. My baby. I'm…I'm a daddy. Oh God. I'm a daddy.

"Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Danes," the doctor said. "You have a healthy baby boy."

"A boy? It's a boy?" I asked. The doctor held him up for me and Lorelai to see. Hell yeah he's a boy! I can't help myself. I'm crying. I look down at Lorelai and she's crying too. I lean down and kiss her.

"Would you like to cut the umbilical cord Mr. Danes?"

"Uh, sure." I walk over to where the doctor is standing and the nurse hands me scissors. "Ok, I don't wanna cut the wrong thing off."

The nurse showed me where to cut and I snipped the cord. They wrapped him in a blue blanket and let me carry him over to his mommy. I place the little guy in her arms and stay with them until they say it's time to take him to the nursery. While they take Lorelai to her room, I run out to the waiting room where all of our friends and family are waiting.

"It's a boy!" I announce, throwing my arms in the air in rejoice. And the crowd goes wild! "He's healthy. There's ten toes and ten fingers…" I can't speak anymore.

"Congratulations son," Richard says, shaking my hand vigorously. "A boy. We have a grandson Emily." Emily is too happy for words. She's covering her mouth, but I can see the smile. I nod, telling her I know what she's thinking.

Jess walks up to me. He stands there for a second before throwing his arms around me and I hug him back. "I have a son," is all I can say to him.

"And he's gonna love you," he tells me. I needed to hear that.

Now it's Rory's turn. There are tears in her eyes that she's fighting back, but she breaks. She too throws her arms around me and I hold my daughter, my daughter, as tight as I can. I feel her kiss my cheek and she whispers, "Thank you."

"For what?" I ask.

"For being a great dad." Seriously, I'm like waterworks today. After we pull apart, I get a few more 'congratulations' in before the doctor tells me Lorelai wants to me to go to the room.

"Hey there Daddy," Lorelai says softly with a tired smile. She's holding our son and I slowly approach the bed. I look down at the tiny little guy. "Would you like to hold him?"

"Uh…that's ok. I'm good."

"You don't want to hold our son?" I shake my head as I take a few steps back. She looks at me. She's irritated. "Luke, what's wrong with you?"

"I'm scared," I confess.

"Of what?"

"The baby."

"Honey, I'm pretty sure you can take him."

"That's just it."

"You're going to beat up our baby?"

"No!" I scratch my head. Why does everything have to be a joke with her? "I don't wanna…hurt him. I'm scared I'll crush him or…drop him."

"Luke, you're not going to crush or drop him."

"I dropped Jess when he was a baby."

"You're not going to drop the baby." I just stare at her. "Luke, get over here." Apparently, the hormones are still in tact. I make my way back to the bed. "Take our son."

"But…"

"Take our son." By the way she says it, I know she means business.

I take a deep breath and gently take the baby out of her arms. Suddenly, I know exactly what to do as if it comes naturally. "Hey there little guy," I say as I take a seat in the chair next to the bed. "I'm your daddy."

I reach to touch his face, when he wraps his tiny hand around my finger. I freeze. I've never felt what I am right this moment. It finally settles into my mind: I'm a father. Up until this moment, it all felt so surreal like it was this great dream I never wanted to end. But now, as my son clutches to my finger, I know it's real. This is real. I'm a father. I look up at my wife and know she's thinking what I am. We smile at each other. Everything is perfect.

Our "moment" is interrupted when the nurse walks in. "Mr. and Mrs. Danes," she says. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but I was just wondering if you've decided on a name for the baby."

I look at Lorelai and smile. "His name is Lucas William."

Next time on "Meet Me at the Chuppah": Logan tells Rory he bought her childhood home. How will she react? Luke hits a snag with the buyer of his parents' house. As visitors come in and out of the Danes home to see the new baby, they catch a glimpse of a side of Luke they'd never seen. Lorelai asks for a favor.

A/N: I got the idea of inducing labor from an episode of Friends and added a little Larry the Cable Guy humor to it. For those who have no clue what I'm talking about, Larry the Cable Guy does a bit in his shows where he makes this big deal about putting his foot down about a subject and sticking firm by it, then two seconds later he's cracking a joke about how he ends up doing it anyway. I'm horrible at explaining it, but I'm listening to his CD and I just had to do it. I know the name Lucas William is used in like every LL/JJ fic that involves them having a little boy, but I had no clue what to name the kid. Lol.