Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans. It belongs to a bunch of creators atDC comics and some other people. How I wish I were that creative. :huggles a Raven plushie: Instead, I'm stuck using other peoples characters and ideas to create stories. It's quite sad really…

Warning: Rated for potentially morbid content in later chapters. I have problems controlling what comes out of my mind…

Summary: Raven finds herself reflecting on her entire life, even her dreaded past. After a fight with a greatly hated foe, she finds herself not remembering the fight at all, and trapped in a void where nothing remains as she wants it to be, and anything she sees refuses to stay long enough for her to get a closer look. She also finds that she can hear the voices of her friends occasionally speaking, though their bodies never appear. Could she finally be losing it? Or is there something greater going on?

Help Me Whilst I Hide

Chapter Two – A Flitting Fear

Raven wandered aimlessly, never seeming to move, while at the same time, the scenery around her would change drastically. She had been to what felt like a half a million places; under the lake that surrounded Titan's Tower, inside the sanctuary of her bedroom, even in the cave where Terra's stone form was. At one point, she swore that she was back on Azarath, and her Chakra pulsed angrily before the scenery changed yet again.

Now she was floating in a place that looked distinctly like the recesses of her mind when she entered into it through her mirror. It was identical down to the placement of the last rock, not that she actually paid attention to where each of the stones lay, it was more her mindset at the moment which was driving her to think on things such as these.

She grimaced and her hand found her forehead – she tried to ignore the scenery change, but she couldn't help but wonder how she had wound up on the shoreline of Titan's Tower. The sudden transportations were starting to become a nuisance, and she wasn't sure if she would be able to solve it, as she had no idea what could possibly be going on.

Something was, and had been, telling her that nothing around her was real, but her brain couldn't be working properly. How could she be seeing something that was unreal? She had thought that she was dreaming, but was it really possible to be stuck in a dream for this long? All of these unanswered questions were starting to frustrate her.

Her ears suddenly twitched, and she jumped and looked around as a disembodied voice floated into her hearing range. "…e's sti… …ping…" It was most definitely Cyborg's voice, but what was he saying? It was too broken up for her to properly make out. If only she could… Do what? Wake up? She wasn't sleeping, was she?

"She's still sleeping, B. I'm not sure when she'll wake up." Cyborg said, watching the green changeling. The teen was just sitting there, staring at Raven, the same as he had been doing almost constantly for two days. It was kind of cute really.

Titan's Tower had been extremely quiet and subdued since Raven had lost consciousness. No one seemed to be able to chase the feeling that their friend might never wake again, since Cyborg had discovered that it was only a mental condition keeping her down, and nothing that could be solved by simply hitting a few keys on a computer, or by wrapping a cast around an injury.

"She'll wake up when she's ready," Cyborg said, watching Beast Boy's face and trying to gauge the reaction that he might receive for the comment that he had made so many times before. The reaction wasn't anything new or unexpected.

"Dude, you're acting like I've gone crazy worrying about her. Raven can take care of herself," Beast Boy grinned, though it was false and forced, and left the room through the sliding door, which 'whooshed' as it closed.

Cyborg sighed, finding himself alone with Raven. Beast Boy was lying to himself, and the team knew it, even if he himself didn't. No one would dare bring the topic up to him though; for fear that he would lock himself in his room, or do something drastic. It had always been obvious that Beast Boy had something greater than a crush on Raven, though he had never done much about it, especially after Terra had come along, but now that she was gone, and Raven was 'gone' as well, anything could happen with Beast Boy.

"You've gotta wake up Rae… The team's really worried."

'Worried… Worried… Worried… …ied… Worr…" The word echoed through her head over and over again, though she wasn't quite sure why the phrase had come through so clearly, nor did she have any idea why anyone would be so worried about her. The team clearly was though, perhaps that was why she had been hearing the disembodied voices saying her name so much?

Could her suspicions of a lack of consciousness be true? It was truly turning out to be the only logical explanation that she could think of to explain this situation. But then, how long had she been unconscious? It didn't feel like very long, perhaps an hour or two. But how long was it going to last? A day? A month? A year? How long would her team wait before they started to believe that she wouldn't recover?

The most annoying part of this was that she wanted to awaken, and couldn't find a way to. Her eyes – her real eyes, not those that she used here – refused to open, and it was starting to drive her crazy.

Crazy… That was a new thought. What if she was really losing it? She could be actually in her room and hallucinating this whole thing, and everything that happened here. Was that logical? If it was the truth though, then it meant that she was hearing things, as the other Titans knew far better than to just saunter into her room uninvited.

But… Why was she here then? Was it a punishment for something? She didn't think that she had done anything wrong, but then, she didn't seem to have any memory of what had happened just before she ended up here. Mentally grimacing, she managed to persuade herself that teasing Beast Boy didn't count as doing something wrong. After all, if he didn't act stupid, then she would have no reason to treat him as if he were an imbecile – which he was, and would remain forever as far as she was concerned. He would have to do something miraculous to change her view of him in that way.

But this was ridiculous. She was letting her thoughts wander through her mind, and loiter on things that didn't matter, and so didn't deserve to be loitered on at the moment. Beast Boy wasn't here, and she was fairly convinced that he had nothing to do with the mess that she was in, and so, that made him one of those things that really didn't matter.

'Involved? No, he couldn't be. Or is he…?' She thought to herself as something green flashed past her eyes, startling her. It took the form of the green changeling as it stopped just a few feet away from her.

"Beast Boy!" she exclaimed, or tried to anyway. Her throat felt dry, and parched, as if she hadn't used it in a few days. Not really something to worry about though, as Beast Boy was ignoring her anyway.

He was looking in her direction, but seeming not to hear her. He simply stood there, staring, almost as if he were staring through her. It was strange actually. No jokes? No comments? No lame attempts to make her smile?

"Beast Boy!" She said again, her voice hoarse to her ears, her throat burning. His eyes seemed to focus on her, and then he grinned and gestured for her to follow him. Follow him where? She wasn't sure, and was about to ask when he began to move.

Saving her breath, she took one step, and then another, surprised, but relieved that he hadn't disappeared in the same way that everything else did whenever she moved in this place. At least something was normal.

"Wait… Please," She muttered, wondering why he was moving so quickly, and she was moving so slowly. He seemed to be getting further and further away, taking three steps for each one of hers. Finally, gesturing to her one last time, he disappeared from sight. Raven sighed and sank to the ground. She was alone yet again.

It wasn't as if she minded being alone, and occasionally – usually – she'd even try to be alone. This though, was far too much. It was one thing to be alone when you are in your room, and know that friends – people – are just down the hall. It was another thing completely to be stuck where she was now, lost somewhere with no way of communicating and your friends seemingly taunting you with broken phrases, and short appearances.

How she hated this!

"Friend Raven has been with alack of consciousness for too long. I worry for her," Starfire said, her green eyes taking in the recreation room around her, which was occupied only by herself and Robin. Cyborg was in the garage, working on the T-Car, or maybe another creation of the same sort, and Beast Boy had locked himself inside his room. She wasn't quite sure why Beast Boy had chosen to do that. Surely he would rejoice at being able to cause noise and mischief without having to worry about bothering Raven?

"She's strong. She'll be alright," Robin replied, as much to reassure himself as to reassure the alien girl. The team was definitely straining with the knowledge of Raven's condition weighing down on them. It could change at any moment, for the better or for the worse, and no one wanted her to be alone when it happened. What if she woke up and was disoriented? What if she began to have problems breathing? There were too many 'ifs' riding on her condition, and it had everyone on edge.

Raven started as she noticed a red eyed something leering at her through the fog that had settled on the mountain path that she had found herself standing on. She wasn't quite sure how she had arrived in the mountains, but it was a change from what she had become used to in this place, and had been enjoyable until it had become foggy. At least most things had begun to hold their places, though if this were simply because mountains couldn't go for walks, she wasn't sure.

The scenery however, wasn't what was currently bothering her. No, she figured that it was probably far more important to worry about the four glowing eyes that were staring at her and coming ever closer through the fog. Why did these things always show up in places where there was the least room to run?

"Stay back," Raven snarled in warning, spreading her hands apart as a way of readying herself for battle. She wasn't sure that she would actually be able to fight in this place, but it would be a good idea to be prepared for anything.

The creature didn't respond to her warning, unless the low and rather threatening growl that the figure made was supposed to count as one. She took a few steps backward as the creature moved forward, still shrouded in the fog. That was beginning to bother her. Why did the bad guys always have the advantage of weather?

"Get away!" She exclaimed. She had figured out what it was a while back, but the severity of her situation was just starting to sink in. She was moving, it wasn't disappearing, and her surroundings weren't changing. Obviously, something was controlling it, most likely, something that liked to inconvenience her. But her worry was Him. How had He escaped? Was she losing herself to Him?

It couldn't be happening, it had to be impossible. He couldn't have escaped the fortress that she had him in, couldn't have escaped her mind. Which left only one explanation. She was inside. Inside her head, inside her mind. She didn't know how she had arrived here, but that was a question for another time. Right now, she had to deal with her father.

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos!" Raven murmured, her voice growing in a mounting intensity as she chanted the words that had solved so many problems in the past.

The black aura that poured from her hands however, did nothing to stop the demon from moving forward, and Raven found herself pushed back against the rocky mountain face, successfully ignoring the stones that jutted into her back.

Why was he remaining solid? Why couldn't he just disappear like everything else did when she wandered here? She looked around, desperately hoping that the scenery would give her a space to fight, and – though she would never admit it to herself – the space to run.

As she thought it, the scenery did indeed change, and she found herself in a grassy field, with the occasional patch of… Were those black roses? Something hit her in the back, throwing her forward and she felt tempted to pull her hair out at the realization that this place was seriously chipping at her concentration.

Ignoring the bruising that was surely forming on her back, Raven rolled over and threw up her aura to create a shield around her, while she searched for the antagonist. He wasn't very hard to miss, now that there was no fog around to hide him. It was actually a very strange sight to see a large demon standing in the middle of a field with the sun beating down. Wait, where had that sun come from? Had it been there when she first arrived?

She actually pulled out a few hairs this time, - damn her lack ofconcentration! - And swore to herself that she would meditate as soon as Trigon disappeared.

She allowed her barrier to fall and threw out a crackling beam of black energy, which was quickly countered by Trigon's own shot, a much stronger beam of gold. Raven couldn't even blink before she found herself sprawled on a rose bush. Luckily, the adrenaline pulsing in her system masked the pain that she was sure would come later, and she stood and once again focused the demon in front of her.

"Go back to where you belong," she growled, holding up her hands. Magic began to form around them before she even began to chant. "Azarath, Metrion… Zinthos!" Raven was forcing as much energy as she could into the beam that now shot from her hands, a beam far larger than the last.

The thing on the receiving end hissed as he was pushed backwards, causing long scrapes in the ground from the dragging of his claws through the earth. However, before it could actually begin to harm him, he vanished from sight, and once again, the scenery changed. Raven sighed as she found herself standing in a replica of the recreation room in Titan's Tower.

"Hey, Cy?" Beast Boy said, looking into the garage where Cyborg was bent over the open hood of the T-Car, adjusting something on the engine. The half-man, half-robot, looked up as his green teammate walked in.

"Something wrong, B?" He asked, watching the changeling carefully. One of the things that Cyborg had predicted had already come true – Beast Boy had locked himself in his room. He didn't want to be the cause of some sort of depression or suicide.

However, Beast Boy didn't look depressed at all. Maybe a little nervous, but at the same time, extremely proud of himself.

"Nothing's wrong, but I think I have an idea of how we can help Raven. What about her mirror?" He raised his eyebrows hopefully, thinking of the 'beauty mirror' that served as an entrance into Raven's mind.

Cyborg stared. It was a good idea, and it could probably work. Why hadn't he thought of it? They could be helping Raven already! She could have awoken already if this had been thought of before, and if not, they'd at least be able to speak to her and to let her know what was going on. Wait. What was he thinking? Raven would kill them!

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard! Do you realize what Raven would do to us!" Cyborg swore his eyes were popping, as he stared at a patient Beast Boy. The changeling had apparently been expecting the reaction.

"She didn't do anything last time, remember?" Beast Boy said stubbornly, while Cyborg sighed.

"She wanted to. Besides, we'd have to break two rules. The first, trespassing into her room, the second, trespassing into her mind. And the last time was an accident anyway. It wouldn't have happened if you hadn't gone into her room." Cyborg wasn't going to let Beast Boy talk him into this. There was no way.

"You made me! I had to 'apologize' remember? Anyway, she could be in trouble! What if she's in danger? Her mind isn't exactly the safest place you could be." Beast Boy changed into his kitten form and looked pleadingly up at Cyborg.

"Do I look like Starfire? That's not going to work on me. Besides, Raven can take care of herself." There he was, saying that damn phrase again. It was starting to bother him, and he was the one who was saying it! Well, he said it when Robin wasn't saying it. Why did every conversation tend to come to Raven having the ability to care for herself?

He shook his head and looked at Beast Boy, who had since regained human form, and was beginning to speak once again.

"But– but- Come on, Cy! It's worth the risk, isn't it?"

Cyborg growled, ready to say that it wasn't, then sighed when he realized what it was that he had been about to say. Of course it was worth it. They were talking about Raven here. She was a part of their team, a part of their 'family,' and trying to save her was worth her yelling at you, right?

"Fine, we'll go. But you're taking all of the blame if she decides that this is reason to get angry." He couldn't believe what he was saying. He had just agreed to waltz into Raven's room, the most forbidden place in the entire Tower. She never let anyone in there! Well, not usually anyway. There had been some exceptions, like that Malchior guy… But that wasn't really something to think about.

Beast Boy was bouncing happily, obviously accepting that he had to take the blame, and he looked ready to leave and start on their 'adventure.' Cyborg really didn't think that this was a good idea.

"We'll stop by the medical lab first, let her know what we're going to try. She may be able to hear us, and if she wakes up, then won't have to go anywhere." Cyborg nodded to himself as he spoke.

Beast Boy nodded and led the way from the room, still bouncing slightly, starting to make Cyborg believe that the only reason that he wasn't depressed was because he had got into caffeine. Or maybe he had gone into Raven's herbal tea and added too much sugar. Either way, the changeling seemed to be more than a little hyper.

"Are you sure that you want to do this?" Cyborg asked a few minutes later, as they arrived in front of the door to the medical lab.

Beast Boy nodded yet again, "Stop trying to talk me out of it. I'm determined to help Raven." He stepped through the doorway as the door opened with a soft 'whoosh,' and walked straight to Raven's bedside, gasping in horror as he saw shiny burn markings on her pale skin.

"Raven!" He exclaimed, torn between helping her, and not touching her due to the injuries. His hand hovered nervously, and he looked to Cyborg for help.

The half-mechanical teen was already punching numbers into the computer that Raven was hooked up to. "I can't find the cause. It's almost as if she was attacked, or was fighting something."

"Or she hurt herself. Her powers don't like, build up if they're not used or something, do they?" Beast Boy actually looked worried - over Raven. Boy, he had it bad.

"I doubt it. Maybe she was fighting something, and because she doesn't have a physical body wherever she is, the injuries showed up here instead." Cyborg replied, thinking aloud as he answered the question.

"This just gives us more reason to go help her," Beast Boy responded. Determination was written into his features, and Cyborg nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, let's go."

Author's Corner

And the award for the 'Lamest Chapter Ending' goes to… Me!

Eh… I'll work on it. Damn those chapter endings, and damn punctuation. Punctuation is evil:Attends a punctuation burning ceremony:

Okay, so I've kind of left this chapter hanging. I didn't really want to leave it like that, but I didn't want to have the mirror thing in this chapter because it would have made it far too long.

Edit – I apologize for the delayed update. I had this chapter finished ages ago, but when I went to upload, I discovered that my internet had crashed because my hard-drive was worm infested. It's all better now, so hopefully it won't happen again…

To my reviewers…

Sparrowing – I'll try not to let the writer's block at me. My 'proof-reader' won't let me anyway… She'd like... attack me if I decided to discontinue this one. And I know the feeling, I'm impatient too!

TrigunChic – Thank you! And yes, I do realize that it's jumpy and choppy, but I'm working on it, promise. :)

I love you all! -

Completed – 11/21/04

Uploaded – 12/02/2004