A/N: this chapter is kind of revolving around Aoshi's real feelings to Misao. It can be a bit of shocking but it is very interesting. This chapter is where the love triangle begins. So have fun okay!

Disclaimer: nope nope nope...

Chapter 10: in the midst of the dark

I stood in the middle of her dim lighted room with the feeling of great sadness and sorrow overcoming my soul and drowning it onto the pit of guilt that had built up inside me ever since she disappeared.

It has been very difficult for me these past four days, just thinking that she had left me all by myself, with this heavy weight of great pain and suffering I carry upon my heart. It hurts to think that I will have to live my life thinking of all the things you have said to me at that night and how I had said such words that had stabbed you right on your heart. All my life I've lived with the promise that I will protect you and that I will do all my best to make you happy, but I have been the first to hurt you and the worst thing was that it was a wound that would never be forgotten.

It pained me a lot to face myself in the mirror and find myself looking at the reflection of the man who had hurt you, the man who had brought you these entire burden that you have to carry and live with.

If only I have said the right thing, if only I had been honest to you and have told you the real side of my story. If only I had been quick onto realizing that I have feelings for you too, feelings I never understood until now that you have waken me up on my long slumber, feelings that I had been hiding ever since I have laid my eyes on you. If only I didn't give up on you and had chased you from every corner of this world. And now I have failed you, the only person that I have loved and will always love.

If you only knew what had happened that night that you left and ran away from Aoiya...

Flashback...

The sky had turned dark as the moon sparkled in silvery rays and the whole streets of Edo had gone silent. Aoshi lay motionless on his almost empty room, staring on the ceiling as the burning light of the candle danced gracefully with the air. He had just started thinking about Misao and how she had confessed her feelings to him just this evening. He felt guilty about what he had said, and depending on how she had reacted, she seemed pretty hurt and angry.

He was thinking about her and these past days that he had lived with her. It had been a great experience for him and he was fond of her, and he loved her warm and cheerful way of talking to him. She was so energetic and lively that she had made Aoshi do things he never thought he would ever do. She was a great inspiration to him, and in a way Misao had been his source of strength. She was the reason he had done so many new things. He wasn't as cold as before and he was starting to build up a much cheerful way of living life. Misao had wakened this part of him and it had given him the chance to learn a lot more than all the things he ever did.

Somehow he did love her, but it was pretty complicated for him. He never really understood it at all; it was always on his mind but he never gets it, he never realized what it truly meant for him. Aoshi had been thinking of it, every night he would find himself asking certain questions and never finding the right answers to it.

It took him about an hour to realize that he was in love with her. He found out that the answer to all his questions was her. At that moment he realized everything that has been happening to himself, why he always gets nervous when Misao would lightly pat him on his shoulders and how he get this funny feeling on his stomach whenever Misao would look up to him with those bright emerald green eyes sparkling and her mouth curved in the most perfect way.

He then quickly stood up, walked up to his door, take a deep breath and slowly opened the door, sliding it carefully as he peeked to see if anybody was there. He then finds himself slowly walking towards Misao's room.

"What would I say?" he thought to himself, scratching the back of his neck as he tries to keep himself constantly stable and calmed.

"I'm so stupid!"

"Why didn't I just blurted it all out to her, why did I have to blow everything?" Aoshi whispered to himself, lightly hitting himself on the forehead.

"I better think of something good to say to her" he thought as he was approaching Misao's room nearer and nearer. He was whispering sentences to himself, trying to find the exact thing to say. He didn't want anything to get worse, and he needed to think of something good to say, fast.

Before he could turn left onto the exact place where Misao's room stood, he heard her door open. Then he slowly peeked onto the corridor and finds himself looking at Misao, who was carefully trying to avoid not to step on any of the Oniwbanshu's who was fast asleep lying on her front door.

Aoshi's heart was beating faster and faster just by looking at her, he was feeling a lot nervous and finding it difficult for him to keep himself cool and steady. He was looking closely at Misao, who was staring down onto her friends. He didn't quite understood why she was looking at her friends, with tears in her eyes. It was kind of difficult to explain.

"Gomen..." she whispered.

Aoshi had only noticed that she had said Gomen. And wondered why, what is it that she had done? What is it that she had to apologize to? Then in an instance she started to ran...

"She's running away" Aoshi said to himself.

D'end



A/N: I guess that's about it. It would take another few days for me to tell you exactly what had happened, but I do hope that you stick with me here. I know that I would be such a meanie leaving you on this suspense but I'm kind of leaving for vacation, which basically means I'll be leaving my computer. So I hope that you could be a bit more patient with the story and not hate me (). R&R please... ja!!