Why does FanFiction take so damn long to put my updates up? ((Growls))

Recently I've discovered R-rated Trigun fics, ranging from yaoi to just plan graphic-ness...but I can say my favorite is now officially one called "Pajama Party". That had me laughing my ass off! That, and "Poetry Corner with Legato Bluesummers", which was as funny as hell, too. Remember, kids: I like comedy, and I like sex and ra-- ((is bleeped out when an outraged Knives covers mouth at the end of obscene sentence))

Anyways, here's my newest addition. Disclaimer: I still got Knives and Legato, and you ain't never gonna find 'em!

((Sound of feds breaking into house, finding Knives and Legato locked up in chains in my basement, covered in whip lashes))

Chibi Knives: Your dear authoress is a total dominatrix on the inside...

Me: Oh, only you would know, Knives...only you...((and Legato))

Chibi Knives: Eeek!
...............................................................................................................................................

On Alex's thirteenth birthday, the gang had a great big celebration, and she drank almost as bad as her first night with them, and partied all-out. Before she was too drunk she put on a little performance for them on her fiddle, playing jigs and fun dances, and then afterwards got drenched. Obviously having passed out, she woke up the next morning in bed, and found out from an amused Vann that she had stayed up late talking with Eamon, who had also been drunk and had gone unconscious as well.

As well as that, nobody ever really even guessed she was a girl. They thought it funny that she was shy around flirting women, thinking it just boyish unconfidence, and always trying to set her up with the women around her: first the saloon wenches, then Leah, Renn's daughter, and even some of the city-girls. Eventually they gave up on trying to get the skill-less lad a good time in that category.

One day, Red Ice was pretty empty, most of the Coyotes out on their own, and Alex sat playing poker with Eamon and a few of the other Coyotes, when the door opened and in walked a group of four: two women, one big girl with dark brown hair, the other smaller and fiercer-seeming, a man in black carrying a large cross, making them assume he was a priest, and another man, dressed in a red coat, with blond spiky hair and aqua eyes. Alex watched them with curiosity, then just shrugged, figuring them to be visitors.

"Who're they?" Kett, one of the young Coyotes, asked Kale next to him.

"I dunno," Kale said with a shrug, watching the newly-arrived group. "Visitors, maybe."

"Perfect opportunity for some pickpocketing," another man, one of the young and least experienced Coyotes, named Zad, said, grinning.

"I don't think we should," Alex said.

"Why not?" Zad asked, raising an eyebrow.

"'Cause, I just don't like the looks of them," she said. "'Specially that big cross. What the hell is that, anyway?"

"A cross, Alex," Kale said with a grin. "He's prob'ly a priest."

"Well, let's just leave 'em alone for now," Eamon said. "Anyways, y'know about the trouble we've been havin' with the Blackwater Snakes?" The Snakes were a gang that were currently trying to take over the Red Hill territory in April City. "Vann gots a plan where we c'n take 'em out. We take those travelin' by themselves out, an' slowly one-by-one they'll drop off."

"Sounds like it might work," Kale said. "But it also might start a gang-war."

"So?" Eamon asked. "A little bit of gang-wars never hurt anybody."

"No, it just killed them," Alex and Kett finished together.

"Speakin' of Snakes," Zad said, nodding to the door. Two men had just entered, both in long black coats that were open to reveal their weapons. They were definite Snake gangsters.

"How dare they just walk into our territory," Kale growled, rising out of his chair slightly. The motion caught the Snakes' attention, and they came sidling over their way, hands flexing near their weapons. Alex slowly began to reach down for her pistol, but Eamon caught her eye and shook his head ever so slightly.

"'Ello, chaps," one of the Snakes said, hand resting on his gun as he leaned up against their table. "Fine day, ain't it?"

"You're breachin' territory, shithead," Kale snarled quietly. "This is Red Hill area. Go back to your mamas and leave the real gang to reign."

"Why, you--" the other Snake began, but the first one stopped him. He smiled at them, but his eyes flashed menacingly.

"We're gonna take over this city easily," he said, in a threatening low voice. "And there ain't nothin' you bastards c'n do about it!" He swung his hand across the table, scattering their chips and cards. Immediately everyone had their guns out and had them pointing at everyone else.

"Hey, Eamon, need help with those fuckin' assholes?" Renn said, coming around, and smacked one of the Snakes in the face. The Snake touched his face, then raised his fist and punched her, knocking her down. Alex snarled and leapt forward, striking him in the temple with her pistol and knocking him down as well, then placing the barrel in his mouth.

"Don't you touch her, or any of them," she yelled in his face. "Y'hear?" She felt suddenly a surge of glee through her violent anger at the look of fear in his eyes. She belted him agan in the face with the pistol. "I said, y'hear?"

He nodded, a small whimper coming from him. She grimaced at him in disgust as she stood, and spit on him. "You ain't even worth my bullet, bastard. Get the hell outta here now, got it?"

The Snake she hadn't assaulted helped the first one up, and the two scrambled out of the saloon. Alex put her gun away, and helped Renn to her feet. "You okay, Renn?"

"Yeah, thanks, Alex," she said, rubbing her cheek. "Y'want some whiskey or somethin'?"

"Sure," she answered. As she sat back down, she looked at the other Coyotes, who were quietly looking around at each other. "What?"

"That was awesome," Kett said, grinning. "You beat the shit outta him!"

"Yeah, it was awesome," Eamon began. "But somewhat stupid. Now we're gonna have a gang war."

"So," she snapped. "They did technically start it, breachin' territory." She thanked Leah as the girl handed her her glass of whiskey. As Leah walked off, Alex's eyes turned automatically to something, and she found herself looking at one of the men who had entered in the group before the Snakes, the one in the red coat. He was looking at her too, with those aqua eyes, and she made a little gasp, they were so pretty and deep, so emotional...suddenly she felt a swell of guilt spring up over what she just did, and she looked away quickly.

"Zad, go find Vann and Lucius, and tell them what happened," Eamon said. "I'm afraid they might try an' attack us while we ain't all together now." Zad nodded and exited swiftly. Alex took her whiskey glass and gulped it down straight, then found Eamon staring at her with slight amusement in his eyes.

"'Member what Vann told you th'first day y'were here?" he asked.

She grinned. "'Drinkin' your liquor straight will kill you faster', if I remember right."

"And you replied with, 'Hey, I ain't gettin' any younger!'," Eamon said. She chuckled slightly.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. What the hell, we're all gonna die anyways, I think I'll drink it straight," Alex said with a bit of a shrug. "I'm gonna go get a refill."

As she stood up to go, Kett said to Eamon in confusion, "I ain't never gonna understand 'im."

Eamon smiled. "Perhaps we never will, mate."

---.:.begin.:.---

Vash glanced up at the sign and read, "The Red Ice Saloon."

Beside him, Wolfwood said, "Sounds promising. I say we go."

"Just for a little bit," Meryl said sternly. "Only for a drink, understand?"

"And ice cream?" Milly asked eagerly. "I want ice cream!"

"Sure, ice cream too," Meryl said with a resigned shrug. "Why not?"

The four entered the bar, pausing briefly to adjust to the dim lighting of the room, and the cool atmosphere compared to the heat outside. Vash glanced around, and noted immediately where they were: in a bar of outlaws. But he strode on through thirst, and they took a table, Wolfwood propping his cross-gun against his leg. The priest glanced around, and his eyes went to the table with the five people playing poker. Four of them were men, one of them younger than most, but the fifth one didn't appear more than a boy. He noticed the pistol on the boy's belt.

"Ice cream!" Milly said excitedly when the tough-looking bartender woman came over to get what they wanted.

"Whiskey for us, please," Wolfwood said, motioning to the others. The woman nodded and headed back to the bar, where they started their orders.

The doors opened again, and the four glanced up at the pair entering. Vash saw the table with the five playing poker go tense, and one of them rise halfway up in anger. The pair sidled up to that table, and after a brief mix of hostile conversation, everyone was up with their guns out. Vash tensed and reached for his own gun, and Wolfwood clutched his cross tighter.

"Hey, Eamon, need help with those fuckin' assholes?" the barwoman asked, coming over. She struck one of the arriving pair, who touched his face and angrily punched her, knocking her down. Wolfwood started to rise, but Vash stopped him, just as the young boy struck the man with his pistol, knocking him down, and sticking the barrel in his mouth.

"Don't you touch her, or any of them," the boy yelled in his face. "Y'hear?" When the man didn't respond, the boy struck him again. "I said, y'hear?" The man nodded frightenedly, and the boy stood up, spitting on him. "You ain't even worth my bullet, bastard. Get the hell outta here now, got it?" The pair clambered out quickly, and the boy helped the bartender up to her feet, asking if she was alright.

"That was interesting," Meryl said quietly.

"He's just a child," Wolfwood said, taking out a cigarette and lighting up. "In a gang."

Vash listened to the conversation, watching the boy. When the bartender's girl delivered a glass of whiskey, the boy thanked her, then out of some instinct his dark brown eyes found Vash's. As he stared, Vash caught the surprise, awe, and then sudden welling of guilt show, as the boy looked hurriedly away. Vash, though, had gotten a sense of something different with the boy.

"Your ice cream and whiskey," the bartender woman said, setting down their orders for them. Wolfwood glanced at the forming bruise on her face, but before he could say anything she had hurried away.

"Let's finish this and get back to our stay," the priest said quietly, and the others nodded in agreement.

---.:.end.:.---

As you might've guessed at my above A/N, my young teenage female hormones are raging...after reading certain scenes with Knives and Legato involved in most of them...

((Glance goes to the two named Trigun characters chained to wall, who cower away from their cruel and hormone-filled master...))
Of course, you might be happy when you realize my story has so far been very clean with sexual graphicness...that comes LATER! Muahahahahaha!

Quote-of-the-chapter:
The infamous li'l line: "Kill the spiders to save the butterflies."

This really creepy thing happened last night, I was laying down on my bed with my head at the end, staring at my big dreamcatcher hanging at my closet door ((it was given to my stepmom from a friend when she was little, and she gave it to me)), and the wood is willow, but the "web" is made of this beautiful sky-blue yarn, and tied in the center is this little ceramic butterfly...and suddenly my Knives-obsessed mind made the connection: The butterfly is caught in the spider's web...

Creepy, eh? That's what you get for reading my stuff! ((when readers run away, starts sobbing)) No, I didn't mean for you to go! Aww, damn...

-Wolf