Chapter Three

The dreams became, through the years of my childhood, a sort of steadying influence on my young life. My childhood was, though spoilt and rich enough, not particularly easy- and for some reason, the strange woman-in-grey with her black hair made me accept that. Made me realize, perhaps, that despite the illness of my mother and the growing sadness of my father, there were still people out there who lived under way worse circumstances than me. Because around my sixth year I started realizing that the woman, sitting in her cell, was doing nothing more or less than merely waiting for her death. My young mind had refused to acknowledge that at first, but my watching my mother die had somehow rendered me much more serious than other children my age, and I recognized death in the deep, green eyes of the woman.

And yet she helped me. When Mother died, I was shocked and sad, but somehow I managed to relativise the situation much better than my father could. I suppose I could be considered hard, for such a young child, but it was not that I did not grieve. For that I did, more than anyone ever knew- I just, somehow, knew with an intuition that even I myself did not understand, that death was inevitable and as such a part of life. Later on, I realized that that must have seemed to be a very bizarre attitude for a child my age, but not back then. Every time I felt tears in my eyes and sadness in my heart, I merely remembered the crying woman, waiting for her death- and I could breathe again.

It was all very strange.

When my eleventh year in life started and I got the letter to Hogwarts, I had grown wise and serious beyond my years. I don't know whether that was entirely positive or entirely negative, but it was the truth. I was neither tall nor physically precocious- but I knew that some of my thoughts were too old for me, and in fact it worried me.

What had started to worry me, too, was the woman-in-grey herself. I had realized by then that my dreams were more than just dreams, and it upset me in a way I could not- and still cannot- wholly explain. I had read many books before even entering Hogwarts, and always have I felt the natural dislike of a realistic, down-to-earth Scotswoman towards anything even slightly supernatural. The thought that perhaps my dreams tried to tell me something- well honestly, that thought made me sick.

And yet I knew that there were only two possibilities regarding those dreams I was having. I had read about them in a book- I even believe it was a muggle book. Or my dreams were trying to tell me something- and that I did not want to believe, somehow- or they simply were the result of, I quote, "an unconscious obsession of my inner mind".

Now come on. I was three when the dreams started, and precocious, serious, strange or whatnot, I honestly could not imagine me having any unconscious obsessions with a woman I had never in my entire life met before. Because I was sure that I hadn't- despite the strange feeling of "having seen her before" which was, I was sure of that, most probably caused by the dreams having started at such a very young age.

At ten, too, before I had even entered Hogwarts, another urge was awoken inside of me. I had always been a curious child, eager for knowledge and unable to accept things without knowing "why" or "how". It would become the great frustration of my devoutly Catholic father, for the idea of a dogma was entirely impossible to me. I needed proof, I always needed proof, and I did not rest until I'd found it.

So in fact I wonder now why I did not start to ask questions earlier- but then again it was only understandable. I, even at that young age, blatantly refused to believe that my dreams were anything more than dreams- that the woman-in-grey with her clear green eyes was anything more than merely a vision of my young mind.

By the time I was ten, though, I'd grown convinced and realistic enough to accept the unacceptable, and I became convinced to find out who she was. My only and thus main problem was this; where could I look for her? I knew nothing about her but for the fact that she was locked up and awaiting her death, where should I start?

The first, horrible thought I had was this one. What if she was not a vision of the past or future? What if she was a living, breathing creature of the present, awaiting her escape?

Soon, though, I labelled that idea as nearly impossible- and I started thinking. The past? Or the future? But where could I find information about her? Even if she was a vision from the past, where on earth should I be able to find her?

And quickly I got discouraged. I'm ashamed to say it, even after all those years, but it was understandable- I gave up my quest even before I had started it.

My time at Hogwarts would change that, though.

And Albus would.