THE SHOOTING OF HOGWARTS, THE MOVIE

DAY THREE

Disclaimer: JKR owns it all. I'm making no money.

A/N: Please, review, guys, flames are welcome! The more you review the faster I update.

Time: Around 10am.

Place: The DADA classroom.

LOCKHART: (leaning over the teacher's desk and eyeing each of the people in the room) OK, now listen carefully. There will be no compromises today! Understood? I want to shoot at least one decent scene and I WILL even if that's the last thing I ever do. If any of you does funny stuff in front of the camera, stuff that's not in the script, we shoot the whole thing all over again until everyone does right. Now let's get to work.

HARRY: (shaking his head) Poor old Lockhart really got it bad.

RON: Well, I knew he was mad all the time but nobody listened.

LOCKHART: NO MORE TALKING!!!!! CAMERA, ACTION!!!!!

NEVILLE: (whispering while taking his place) Ron's right! Five exclamation marks are the sure sign of madness!!!

SIRIUS: (enters the room) : Good morning, class, I'm your new DADA professor, professor... Er... Smith.

CLASS: (hesitantly) Er... Good morning, professor... Smith?

SIRIUS: Today we're going to talk about the Dark Arts. (threateningly) HAS ANY OF YOU SEEN ANY DARK WIZARDS LATELY???

CLASS: No, sir!

SIRIUS: (a little more calm) You sure? OK. If you do see any of them, report to me immediately.

HARRY: Why?

SIRIUS: (whispering so loudly that he's probably heard even outside the castle) Because, this may come to you as a shock but I'm not really professor Smith!

CLASS: ( not as shocked as expected) Ooooh!

SIRIUS: My name is Sirius Black and I'm an Auror working under cover. We have information that there's an evil wizard among the students.

HARRY AND NEVILLE: (exchanging looks, than looking at Malfoy the Evil who has his feet on his desk and is rading a book wich is entitled in BIG RED letters " The basics of being evil- a beginner's guide to the Dark Arts" ) Noooo, really?

SIRIUS: Yes, yes, I know it sounds unbelievable! But I think I know who it might be!

HARRY AND NEVILLE: Really?

DRACO: (puts down the book and secretly puts his hand in his pocket for his wand)

SIRIUS: (takes out his wand and point it at... Ron.) You, get up! You're a Death Eater!

RON: I am?

DRACO: (Slaps his forehead and starts laughing silently, holding up a sign saying "What a jerk!")

HARRY AND NEVILLE: Er... Mister Auror... (they try to make Sirius look at Draco who is now dancing around the room, holding a big flashing sign, saying "IT'S ME! IT'S ME! I'M EVIL!" but Sirius ignores them)

SIRIUS: Come on, hands up, you... you... Bad boy!

DRACO: (rolls on the floor laughing)

RON: (raises his eyebrows) Bad boy?

SIRIUS: Er, yeah, gotta keep the rating G.

HARRY: Excuse me, but I don't think this is the man you're looking for.

SIRIUS: Huh? Why not?

NEVILLE: Well, you see that boy over there, the one that's holding the sign saying "I'M EVIL!"? He tried to steal my composition earlier today in order to present it as his own and use the money for a Death Eater-friendly cause. Do you think he could be your guy?

SIRIUS: (thoughtfully) Hm, yes, yes, he could be... Hey, you!

DRACO: (jumps up and looks murderously at Harry and Neville) You'll never catch me, BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!! (throws the book about the Dark Arts he was previously reading at Sirius and runs from the room)

SIRIUS: (ducks to avoid the book and runs after him)

THE BOOK: (hits Lockhart square in the face and he passes out)

RON: (gratefully) Thanks for helping me guys!

HARRY: Don't mention it.

RON: I am Weasly the Wise, by the way.

NEVILLE: I'm Longbottom the Powerful and this is Potter the Noble. We defend justice and help the innocent. Would you like to join our ranks?

RON: (looking around) Your ranks?

NEVILLE: Er... Well, the two of us.

RON: Sure, OK.

HARRY, RON AND NEVILLE: (exit the room to the same heroical music from the last scene)

END OF THE SCENE

EVERYONE: Hurray! We did it!

HARRY: Let's get to the next one! Professor Lockhart, what are we shooting now? Professor Lockhart?

LOCKHART: (does not respond because he's still unconsious)

RON: I think he's been knocked out by Draco's book.

LOCKHART: (moans)

NEVILLE: Professor? Are going to shoot the next scene?

LOCKHART: No. No more shooting today.

HARRY: But I thought you said...

LOCKHART: FORGET WHAT I SAID! Take me to the hospital wing.

DRACO: (who's already back in the room along with Sirius) We could shoot without you if you don't feel well. (grins innocently).

LOCKHART: Through my dead body!!

SIRIUS: Tempting, but no. As I said earlier, we've gotta keep the rating G. Help me carry him. We're done for today.

END OF DAY THREE