Sophia blinked once or twice as she emerged from the short daydream. That memory gave her a warm feeling even now, and in retrospect, she was glad she had decided to keep it to herself.
There was absolute honesty, and then there was common sense. Sophia would be empress for a long time.
A knock on the door captured her attention.
"You may enter."
Minister Saronti bowed as he walked into the room, before casting a quick glance at each of the inhabitants. Seeing the empress in such an informal mode of dress caused an immediate knee-jerk response. The admonishment caught in his throat, however, and he swallowed it before it could escape. He knew that he had to choose his words skillfully.
"Highness, forgive my intrusion. You did in fact ask for a specific period of time, and that has now elapsed. We have the preparation for the final review of the upcoming Grand Festival to complete as well as your briefing on the reception of the Knights of the Silver Star tomorrow. I've taken the liberty to have a speech drafted for your review and approval..."
He tapped on a folder he carried for emphasis. Examining the other faces more critically on second glance, he realized he had stepped into a highly charged situation, interrupting something no less important. He moistened his lips and stroked his beard nervously, but continued nonetheless.
"…not to mention the many other documents which require your review and seal. A thousand pardons, my empress, but time is of the essence, if I may be so bold…"
"Minister, I understand completely the urgency of these matters. I must, however, beg your indulgence for just a little while longer. Will you please bear with me?"
Somewhat to the surprise of the other girls present, it didn't come out sounding like a request, framed in the authoritative tones they had heard before when she effectively ran the Sylvana. Even then, that voice was heard only under situations of extreme crisis. The thinly veiled reprimand was not lost on Saronti, who noted also that she had used his title but not his name; he mentally inserted the words that were left unsaid and immediately realized the dangerous ground upon which he tread.
"My liege, my performance is not up to your standard. I shall await your emergence. I beg your forgiveness."
He bowed and backed out of the room, at no time raising his eyes to his empress.
As the door closed behind him, Sophia turned back to her friends and exhaled, rapping her fingers on the edge of the table for a moment. She resumed the discussion with question.
"This has certainly been quite an experience. Now then, who would like to know how Claus feels about our topic of conversation?"
"How will we find out?" Alistia set Alvis down and stood to stretch her legs.
Sophia reached into a drawer beneath the table and withdrew a small electronic device.
"I'll simply ask him…" She smiled coyly.
"Every so often, there is something good to be said about rank and the privilege that comes with it." For effect, she spoke into what appeared to be a mouthpiece.
"Testing…"
The sound of her voice interrupted the strains of music as it broadcast through the speaker system.
"Well?"
"I would like to know." Replied Alistia, who now stood behind the chair Alvis was seated upon, absent-mindedly playing with stray strands of the girl's hair.
Alvis enthusiastically nodded her agreement.
Tatiana and Lavie were silent, each contemplating the consequences of Sophia's question.
'Do I really want to know?' Each one asked herself.
"Lavie?"
Lavie tried to answer, but instead squeaked some unintelligible response. So here was the end-game. Her mind spun at the thought that the sum of her years together with him could be decided in a matter of minutes. Claus would never knowingly hurt her, he was much too considerate of others, but he still held her heart, and could crush it in complete ignorance of the circumstances. She could hear her own heart beating furiously. It was suddenly becoming hard to breathe.
All the time they had spent together, he had to know how she felt about him. What did he feel for her? Why was the answer to that still a mystery to her? She knew his favorite foods, how late he liked to sleep, his aversion to very cold temperatures, how he liked to mix his shaving cream; she had gauged his physical growth by the fact that she used to be able to look down at the top of his head, later directly into his eyes. Now she had to look up slightly to meet his gaze.
But she remained clueless as to what was in his heart.
Then a single, glorious thought emerged amidst the spiraling, imploding fear and uncertainty, the cacophony of conflicted thoughts. She loved Claus furiously; that was indisputable. What she felt would never change, regardless of whatever his decision turned out to be. If Claus' happiness depended on him being free to establish a deeper relationship with one of the others, well then, she would not be an impediment. She would wish them both the best, and then move on. She could never be responsible for his living a lie.
'I… I will not be the cause of his misery.'
She would go on.
Alone?
That thought was indeed frightening to her as she turned it over in her mind. The emptiness of their living quarters cast its shadow forward in time, as she saw herself preparing and eating dinner for one. She would have to move out herself; she wouldn't be able to stand looking in on his empty room. So this was how true love was. What was that word?
Unconditional.
Well, she wasn't a child anymore; it was about time she matured, became a real woman. She silently thanked Sophia for the lesson she had just learned. She took a deep breath, and called upon all of her resolve.
'If this is the end for us, Claus, then… then so be it. It will hurt, and I'll probably never get over you, but I will not hold on selfishly if you don't feel for me what I feel for you.'
She began to construct a wall of protection around her still-tender feelings as she prepared herself for the worst.
"Lavie?"
"I'm all right, Sophia. Yes. Please go ahead." She said softly.
What had just happened? Lavie loved Claus to death; she would have died for him. Indeed, more than a few times she almost had, yet at that moment, she released him, like a precious, delicate butterfly she had held trapped within her clasped hands. She wouldn't have thought it possible to have uttered those words five minutes ago, but a lot could happen in five minutes. A lifetime could happen in five minutes.
"Tatiana?"
The sky warrior hadn't known him as long as Lavie, but she was certain her feelings for Claus were just as strong. But how would he feel? What would she do if he chose her? And how would she handle it if he didn't?
She also silently thanked Sophia for creating this environment of trust and truth. She knew she would have had to expose and deal with her feelings for him sooner or later, and she also knew that Lavie was her main rival for his affections.
They had in the past acknowledged each other because of Claus; they hadn't really become close because they both knew that that ever-present rivalry simmered barely beneath the surface of their civility toward each other. For the longest time, Tatiana analyzed from a distance the bond Clause and Lavie had and her failure to reach an acceptable conclusion frustrated her to no end. What exactly did Claus see in her? Yes they knew each other quite well, but familiarity couldn't be the underlying basis for romantic love, could it? A sense of responsibility? Of duty? No, that wasn't it either. Her keen mind worked overtime yet failed to yield an acceptable result.
The roots of their relationship were simply unknowable, and that was Tatiana's biggest fear.
"Tatiana?"
In spite of the short space of time she had known him, Claus' impact on her was monumental. It was not hyperbole to say that he validated Tatiana's existence, and, unlike almost everyone else she had met in her short life, there was no ulterior motive. She loved her father, yet there were times she felt his love for her was based more on her ability to perform up to his standards than anything else.
Claus was different. He gave and gave and gave and asked for nothing in return. She had become addicted to him, to his mere presence; they could stand next to each other, observing some innocuous thing or other, saying nothing for long stretches of time, and it was exhilarating to her. A recent memory resurfaced.
"Tatiana."
"Yes, Claus?"
"Have you ever thought about Exile, since then?"
They both then looked up at the crystal-clear night sky.
"You mean, about what lies beyond the skies?"
"Umm hmm."
Giving him a sideways glance, she noticed the wistful, far away look on his face.
"Yes, I have."
She moved just a bit closer to him.
"One day…"
He had bitten her and injected his venom, and she was now infected. How would she fill that void if Lavie took him away? How could they possibly remain 'just friends', when already she desired even more from him than he had given her thus far?
There were simply no answers to those questions, and she felt very vulnerable for the first time in quite some time. She didn't like the feeling, but she was helpless to do anything about it. She didn't like that feeling either.
She hadn't wanted to give up his coveralls because the two of them had made a connection then; she had become fixated on the sensation of each fiber caressing her skin; it was almost as if he were touching her directly. The warmth, the smell of him… of course she had become disoriented by the time they returned to the Sylvana. That kind of intimacy had been a novel experience for her and she wanted more.
Mullen was indeed a fine, honorable young man, but compared to Claus, well, he never had a ghost of a chance.
"Tatiana?"
All eyes were upon her as she continued to sort out conflicting emotions, her face revealing her distress. She clasped her hands together and bowed her head, short platinum bangs falling forward to obscure her beautiful face.
'I have to do this… but I can't.'
"Tatiana. How can not knowing be better than finding out the truth?"
"My head knows that to be true, but my heart…"
The room became silent.
'Claus…'
She took a deep breath and stepped off the edge then, into the unknown.
"All right. Please… please continue."
"Thank you, Tatiana." Sophia responded.
"Now everyone, please stay quiet, or he'll hear you."
She then activated the communicator.
"Hello, Claus?"
There was faint hissing and popping from the interference, and then they heard his voice.
"Empress… good afternoon. So, this thing really works!"
Four hearts fluttered at that sound, a voice that had become perhaps a half-octave deeper and definitely more mature in the time that had passed since Exile was resurrected.
"Thank you. But I've already told you that you don't have to address me that way when it's just the two of us."
"I'm sorry, Empr… umm, Sophia. How are you?"
"I am well, thank you. Where are you?" They could hear the wind and the sounds of the vanship engine.
"Heading back from the supply depot."
"So you don't need a navi?"
"Not for such a short trip. I'm fine. Is there anything you need? "
"Well, there is something I've been thinking about for a while now, and I'd like to get your honest response."
"Yes?"
"Do you remember when the two of us were on the deck of the Sylvana together?"
There was a moment of hesitation.
"Claus?"
"Yes? I mean, yes, I remember."
"It's something I have been thinking about lately."
"Well, umm... that certainly was quite an experience for me. That… that was my first kiss. I'll certainly remember it fondly."
Lavie and Tatiana both felt a sharp wave of emotion upon hearing that statement, but both remained silent. Sophia had set all this up for just this moment, so she closed her eyes and took the plunge.
"Claus, how do you feel about me?"
"Oh! You caught me by surprise with that one, Sophia. Well, let's see. You are a very beautiful woman, and I consider you a very good friend, but if this is related to what happened back then… well, there's only one way to say this…"
"Claus… stop!"
"I'm sorry?"
"You were about to let me down gently and although I respect your decision, I'm simply not ready to hear those words right now."
Another pregnant pause.
"Sophia… what… what do you want me to say?"
In her heart, Sophia knew that this might happen, but the truth stung anyway. She would have Claus' affection but never his love. She took a deep breath even as tears threatened to break through her façade, and composed herself as best she could, given that her heart had just been broken. As part of the learning process in accepting her position, she was becoming better and better at shielding her true emotions; she would put that to practice now.
"Just say that you are quite fond of me and that you always will be."
"Sophia?"
"Please, Claus. It's important to me that I hear you say it."
"Well, that's easy to say, because I am quite fond of you and I certainly always will be. You don't ever have to worry about that. I'll always be there for you if you need me. It's just that…"
"I understand."
Another pause.
"Sophia?"
"Yes?"
"I'm sorry."
"You don't need to apologize. You are too valuable for me to not make an attempt. I imagine then, that this means there is someone special?"
This pause was the longest yet.
"Yes."
"Is it someone I know?"
"Yes."
Everyone's breath caught in their throat. This was it. Sophia began her gentle interrogation.
"Is it… Alistia?"
Alistia gripped Alvis so tightly that for a few seconds, the poor girl couldn't breathe.
"Alistia is the dearest, most wonderful friend anyone could ever want. I would give her anything I have if she asked for it. Had we met earlier, well, she would be easy to fall in love with. I do love her, but not in that way."
Although it stung slightly, Alistia was actually relieved to know where she stood. It was liberating. And his honest words endeared him to her even more. Alvis turned around on her lap and wrapped her arms around Alistia's neck, giving her a tight hug. Alvis' cheeks were reddened and she was crying as though she was the one he had just spoken of.
Sophia continued her gentle prodding.
"Well then, that leaves only two others that I know of. Tatiana?"
The officer brought all of her years of training into focus as she steeled herself for this life-altering moment.
"Although we were like oil and water at first, now, with all the changes she's been through, it's like she's a completely different person, yet the essence of her remains intact. It's true; I have very strong feelings for Tatiana."
Claus coughed to clear his throat; talking about Tatiana in this fashion gave rise to those deep feelings. He would have choked up, he was becoming so emotional.
"It's like she had this tough outer shell protecting a very tender inside."
"Like a nut?"
Sophia needed that slice of humor to lighten the situation. She couldn't resist poking a bit of fun, and it did make her feel a little better. Claus also was grateful as they both had a chuckle.
The look she got from Tatiana was priceless.
"Well, yes. I guess you could put it like that. Once I saw who she really was, after we almost didn't make it back from that first mission, we really made a connection with each other."
"But… you don't love her?"
"That's just it. I do love her, in a way similar to what I feel for you. In the same way I love Alistia. Well, not exactly the same way. You are all so wonderful, yet different. It's not a simple thing to explain. "
After a deep breath, he continued.
"Sophia?"
"Yes?"
"I'm so glad I can talk to you like this. This is such a relief, getting this off my chest. I've been carrying this around for a long time. I'm grateful."
"You never have to thank me for anything I do for you, Claus. So then, I think I can guess the one who has captured your heart."
Lavie's own heart was about to burst through her ribcage. Nor could she take a breath of air. Could it… could it be her? Did he think of her with more than just fondness? Had she done the laundry? What was she to prepare for supper? Then there was that peeling paint on the left side of the fuselage… So many thoughts burst forth, stepping on and over each other as the moment came upon her. Her heart was on a tightrope, teetering this way and that as she held on to her balance.
"Of course, it's Lavie."
Both Lavie and Tatiana failed to contain their emotions, for opposite reasons, and gasped audibly, so much so that Claus had to ask.
"Sophia, is anyone else there with you?"
"No." She lied. She put a finger to her pursed lips, and knitted her brows at the two of them.
"I'm the only one here."
Lavie clamped her hands to her mouth, tears streaming over her fingers. An indescribable feeling moved up from her toes through her body before exploding in her brain, almost incapacitating her. His words echoed in her mind.
It's Lavie.
It's Lavie.
It's Lavie.
She was getting light-headed.
Tatiana took it hard. She crossed her arms on the table and rested her head there. Claus was everything she would ever want in a partner, a friend, a lover..? And now... But she was strong.
She wouldn't cry.
She wouldn't cry.
She had always imagined during her forays into battle what the feeling of being shot would be like, of taking a bullet or a piece of shrapnel. It couldn't possibly hurt any worse than this.
"Lavie and I have been together since we were children, and we had always been close, but I hadn't realized I'd fallen in love with her until the night we won the endurance race at Horizon Cave and she told me how she felt about not being able to continue as my navi under battle conditions. I saw then a part of her I hadn't seen before. As much it hurt her to think she let me down, she never spared her own pride. She was absolutely honest with me. I can only imagine how hard it was for her to come out and say that. She risked the relationship we had as well as what it might become to tell me the truth."
Lavie could only nod her head, still completely overcome.
"I've known for a while now that she has feelings for me. She thinks I didn't pick up on her reaction to seeing Tatiana in my coveralls. Had we more time, I would have asked Tatiana to change, but we were at war, and things just happened the way they happened. I could never hurt Lavie. When I look into my heart, in the very center, there she is. I love her more than anything in this world. If anyone… if anything took her away from me, I don't know how I would function. It's just that…"
"Go on, Claus."
"Well, after living together in one kind of relationship for so long, after watching her grow and mature into the beautiful woman she's become, how do I… how do we just change how we act towards each other all of a sudden? I've been thinking on this for a while now. The last thing I want is for Lavie to think I've gone crazy."
Sophia smiled at the red-head, who was almost hysterical, trying to contain herself.
"I believe I can help you with that problem, Claus."
"How?"
"You and Lavie will be my guests at dinner tonight, just the three of us. I'll gladly break the ice for you. If need be, I'll amend our constitution so that she has to return your feelings, or face the consequences. Perhaps a night or two in the dungeon…" She winked at Lavie.
Lavie nodded in the affirmative, hands still suppressing the squeals of bliss upon hearing Claus' words of devotion.
"You would do that for me?"
'You'll never, ever know the extent of what I'd do for you, Claus. But that's all academic now.'
"Clean yourself up and make certain you're here at seven p.m. sharp. I'll take care of the rest."
"Sophia, I don't know how to thank you."
"Being fortunate enough to have known you is thanks enough, Claus. Goodbye for now."
"Goodbye."
Sophia turned off the communicator, then leaned back in her chair and sighed deeply. When she looked up again, there was Lavie standing over her.
"Please stand up, Sophia."
"What is it?"
Sophia stood, and Lavie wrapped her arms around her. Now the sobs of joy were released. Lavie embraced her empress, her friend, never feeling closer to her than at this moment.
"Sophia, how… how can I repay you? With all of my heart, I thank you."
"You can thank me by saying and doing the right things tonight at dinner. Don't make me look foolish. Now I need for you to be fitted with a nice dress, and we don't have much time."
She looked at the others.
"I don't suppose any of you would like to help Lavie select something to wear for tonight?"
Al's goat brayed as she swept it off the table and almost ran to the doorway in anticipation.
"I'll go!" She said excitedly.
"As will I." Alistia concurred, moving to stand next to Lavie, congratulating her.
"We'll make sure he won't be able to take his eyes off you." She smiled.
Lavie then turned to Tatiana, who was still sitting at the far end of the table, lost in thought over everything that had transpired. They may have been at odds with each other, but Lavie really didn't dislike her.
"Tatiana."
The blond girl turned slowly to face her former rival. The room became silent.
"Tatiana, I can't even imagine what you're feeling right now. But it would mean a lot to me if you'd come along as well."
Lavie extended the olive branch. Tatiana stood, a confused expression on her face. She turned as if to walk away from them, then hesitated before turning back. Alistia took the boldest move she had yet, and strode purposefully over to her best friend before embracing her.
"You'll be alright, Tatiana." If she could, Alistia would take every bit of misery upon herself, freeing her friend. Slowly, hesitatingly, Tatiana returned her friend's embrace.
"Thanks, Alistia. I'm still not sure…"
Lavie was getting impatient, and she was still full of nervous energy.
"Hey! Are you coming along, or what?"
Hazel eyes met grey. What was communicated between them happened in less than an instant.
"You… you really want me...?"
"You heard Claus. He thinks very highly of you. I want us to try harder with each other, for his sake. So, are you gonna hang around here all day?
Tatiana released Alistia and wiped her moist cheeks.
"Thank you, Lavie. I… I think I'd like that."
Sophia called for her attendants and the girls were ushered out of the room. The empress sighed as she turned for one last look before extinguishing the lights.
The party was over. And the tea was wonderful.
Fin.
A/N: Well, there you have it. I'm considering an epilogue detailing the goings-on at that dinner, but I'll wait and see how you all feel about it. Thank you, dear readers, for all your great feedback.
Legend of Shadow: Arigatou for the correction, and I'm glad you liked what you read.
Intuition: Here's hoping the ending is as interesting to you. Thanks!
Silk Hope: Thanks for all your support, following my fics the way you have. No violence here, but a lot of angst, and hopefully a satisfactory conclusion.
LollipopsAreTears: Lavie is too smart to actually do that, I just thought it would be interesting to put that in. Thanks for your observations and support!
Alrasha: Hurrah for your review! You gals and guys make me work harder to put out (hopefully) better material. Thanks so much.
negi246: Here is number four. I hope I have met your expectations. Gracias!
BJ-Blatzkowitz-reborn: Thank you. And everyone please check out BJ-B-r's LE fics.
hailey0176: I'm happy you have enjoyed the story. I worked very hard to bring this to an ending I think would probably have happened in the anime (c'mon, it's got to be Lavie, right?).
Nikkler: well, you rooted for Lavie, and she's won. I think you're on a roll. Can you please root for the Miami Heat? Thanks, and I hope you enjoyed this ending.
roguehobbit: your review as well made me work harder to give you folks something (fair?.. good?). Thanks.
lvmj: here is the update, and I hope you like it. As a rival, Sophia is still a fair and honest person. I could see her doing something like this for the ones she cares about. That's why I like her (well, she's also pretty hot, as royalty goes…).
Eva-Freak015: Claus will never know just how lucky he is. The girls made a pact, and I expect they'll keep it. Thanks for your feedback.
willow: I have kept going, and here is the end. Thanks, and I hope you enjoy it.
Saiyuki-Lvr: You don't have to wait! I wish I could have posted sooner, but I had to tweak it here and there to get it to where it is. I hope it agrees with you, and thanks.
Perhaps I should consider another LE fic. You guys are great!
W.