THE SHOOTING OF HOGWARTS, THE MOVIE
Disclaimer: Big surprise. Harry Potter is not mine.
A/N: Geez, I can't believe I'm getting so many reviews for this story! They're so many I can't answer them personally. Thank you, people, thank you so much. Just like any author, I update much faster when I have reviews. THANK YOU!
It's sad my other story doesn't get as many... Well, that's life.
DAY SEVEN, PART TWO
Somewhere in the dungeons.
(Snape and Sirius are sitting at the opposite corners of the room.)
SIRIUS: (drums his fingers on the wall- Tap, tap, tap.)
SNAPE: (glares at him)
SIRIUS: (Tap, tap, tap.)
SNAPE: (glares harder)
SIRIUS: (Tap, tap, tap, balances chair on two legs and starts swinging, swing, swing, swing.)
SNAPE: (trying to stay calm) Don't be a kid, stop that.
SIRIUS: (TAP, TAP, SWING, SWING!)
SNAPE: BLACK!
SIRIUS: (Startled, looses his balance, drops to the ground and passess out.)
SNAPE: Er... Black? Stop being an idiot, you... idiot. (Stands up, crosses the room and pokes Sirius with his foot.)
SIRIUS: Mph.
SNAPE: (Slaps him several times)
SIRIUS: Mph, mph!
SNAPE: Wake up!
SIRIUS: Mph.
SNAPE: Fine then! (Grabs the chair from the corner and rises it above Sirius' head.
SIRIUS: (Opens eyes suddenly) Where am I?
SNAPE: Yeah, right.
SIRIUS: Who are you?
SNAPE: Black, just stop, O.K.?
SIRIUS: And who am I, for that matter?
SNAPE: (Looks at him closely, waves a hand before his face.)
SIRIUS: (Blinks)
SNAPE: You really don't remember who you are?
SIRIUS: No.
SNAPE: You are, erm, my faithful servant?
SIRIUS: (Sceptical look) Somehow, I doubt that.
SNAPE: (Shrugs) I had to try.
SIRIUS: Mind telling me the truth now?
SNAPE: You are a convicted criminal.
SIRIUS: Right. The truth, please.
SNAPE: That's it.
SIRIUS: Really?
SNAPE: Yes.
SIRIUS: Oh... And you are?
SNAPE: Hmm... The Minister of Magic?
SIRIUS: Duh. Like hell you are.
SNAPE: (Shrugs) Had to try...
SIRIUS: This is annoying, not remembering anything. Do you think you can do something about it?
SNAPE: What do you think I am? A brain surgeon or something?
SIRIUS: No idea.
SNAPE: (Blinks) Sure. OK. (Thinks for a moment, realises something and a nasty smile starts spreading across his face.) Actually, I know a way to get you back to normal.
SIRIUS: Really? What?
SNAPE: (Whithout warning hits him in the head with the chair.- BANG)
SIRIUS: (Blinks and starts singing "Love me tender" by Elvis.)
SNAPE: (BANG)
SIRIUS: (Does a chicken impression.)
SNAPE: (BANG)
SIRIUS: I don't think we're in Cansas, Toto!
SNAPE: (BANG)
SIRIUS: I'm Voldemort, beware!
SNAPE: Argh! (BANG BANG BANG!)
SIRIUS: OUCH!
SNAPE: Black? Is that you?
SIRIUS: No, it's the Little Red Riding Hood!
SNAPE: Oh! (Prepares to hit him again.)
SIRUS: Of course it's me, you jerk!
SNAPES: (Lowers the chair, thinks, then rises it again.) Come to think of it, this is not a reason not to hit you.
LUPIN: (voice from the other side of the door) You guys having fun? Got any nice shots? I'm afraid you'll have to stay there for a bit more. I gave the key to Neville and he seems to have lost it.
SIRIUS: What!
SNAPE: WHAT!... The shots?... Hey, wait a minute! (Suddenly grins like a mad man)
SIRIUS: What's wrong with you?
SNAPE: I just realised. This whole thing is RECORDED!
SIRIUS: What is recorded?
SNAPE: Oh, I'll make sure this gets into the movie!
SIRIUS: What?
SNAPE: (evil laughter) BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
SIRIUS: What?
SNAPE: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
(Ten minutes later, while the others are looking for the key.)
SIRIUS: I really wish you'd tell me what's on that tape.
SNAPE: TEEEE-HEEEEEEEE! BWAHAHA!
SIRIUS: (sigh)
(Half an hour later, while the others are trying to bring down the door.)
SNAPE: BWAHAHAHA!
SIRIUS: Alright! You can stop now!
SNAPE: BWAHAHA!
SIRIUS: ARGH!
(An hour later while the others are using a burner on the door.)
SNAPE: (you know)
SIRIUS: GET ME OUTTA HERE!
SNAPE: (Winks at the camera) He-he!
SIRIUS: SNAPE!
SNAPE: (Startled slips, falls, hits his head and passess out)
SIRIUS:Hey, Snape! (Slaps him)
SNAPE: (Blinks) Where am I?
END OF DAY SEVEN, PART TWO
A/N: Sirius fans, don't kill me!