The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker

by The Tacochickenwings

Link goes on a quest to save his stupid sister Aryll and the world from Ganondorf, the biggest Spice Girls fan ever to hit the Great Sea. However, the controlling Tetra, nudist Medli, rapist Makar, and fat King of Red Lions aren't much help.

26. The Ceremony

The Ceremony

Link and Makar found themselves back near the Deku Tree.

"Oh, I think I'm gonna be sick again..." Link moaned, clutching his stomach.

"Oooooh, Great Deku Tree! I am soooo sorry! You told us so many times not to go near the Forbidden Woods, but still, I did not listen! Please forgive me! I won't ever do it again!" Makar sobbed.

"It's alright Makar," the Great Deku Tree said, "But you must hurry and play your little song thing before the clock strikes midnight and we're all doomed. No pressure."

"Oh yes, of course, oh Great Deku Tree!" Makar replied.

He pulled a violin out of, well, I don't know.

"I dedicate this piece to you, Link, for saving me!" He declared.

"Oh, great, now you're dedicating songs to me... Look, pal, we may have slept together, but there is NOTHING romantic between us!" Link said.

But Makar ignored him, and began to play a song with his violin. Then all the koroks (except for Linder, whose body and severed head lay on the ground nearby, and that other guy who died.) began a strange ritual.

"Oh, (beep), this is so lame..." Link muttered, rolling his eyes as he sat down on the ground.

At last, after about an hour or so, the ritual finally ended.

"Well, Link," the Deku Tree said. "Is there anything I can repay you with?"

Link figured that stupid tree was so old it forgot the 100 rupees is gave him, so he figured that this could work to his advantage. But unfortunately, he was too nauseous to really think about money.

"Some Pepto Bismal would be nice... Oh yeah, and that, uh, what's it called? The uh, pearl..thing..."

"I don't have any Pepto. But yeah, I suppose I can give you the pearl," the tree replied.

"Look, pal, I really, really need some pepto right now! I think I'm gonna-!"

But it was too late. Link ended up blowing chunks all over Makar.

"AH! IT'S BURNING MY EYES! MY EEEYYYEEESSS!" Makar screamed as he raced around in circles.

"Nevermind," Link said. "I think I can go without the pepto. I feel better now..."

He snickered, watching Makar freak.

"Well, here's the pearl," The Deku Tree said, and using his X-Men telepathetic powers, lowered Farore's Pearl into Link's hands.

"Good. Now I'm gonna get the hell out of here..." Link said wearily, and quickly made his way out of the grotto and back to the King of Red Lions.