The Quest for Jabun

"How did it go?" The King of Red Lions asked.

Link stepped inside the boat.

"Well," he replied, "For most of the time, I had no idea how it went."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I had to go to the Forbidden Woods, and there are a hell of a lot of fumes there. I just got stoned, and when I finally came to a bit more, I was at the boss room. It was pretty fun, now that you think about it..."

"Well, did you actually do anything besides catch a buzz?" the boat asked irritably.

"Um, yeah... I got raped..."

"Dammit, I don't care if you got raped! What I'm trying to ask is, 'Did you get the damn pearl?'!"

"Oh, uh, yeah, I got it... Dammit, you're cranky!" Link said.

"Shutup and just make the wind blow to the northwest! We have to get Nayru's Pearl!" The King replied.

"Aw, c'mon! It's past midnight, and I'm (beeping) exhausted!"

Link's good mood was beginning to fade...

"Just make the (beeping) wind blow!"

"FINE!" Link yelled.

He played 'The Wind's Requiem', and the wind began to blow northwest.

"Now come on. We have to head to Greatfish Isle!" The King of Red Lions barked.

Grumbling and whining, Link pulled up the sail, and they were off.

"And don't you start singing again!"

"Hey, you aren't the boss of me! I'll do whatever the hell I want to do! You can't stop me from singing!" Link said, crossing his arms.

"I AM the boss of you, and you WILL do what I say!"

"No I won't!"

"YES YOU WILL!"

"NO I WON'T! YOU CAN JUST SUCK MY BALLS! YOU HEAR ME? SUCK-MY-BALLS!" Link shouted.

There was a long moment of tension-filled silence. Everything was dark, and rain lashed fiercely at the two of them.

"I'm givin' up...on everything because you messed me up...don't know how much you screwed it up... You never listen, that's just too bad... Because I'm movin' on... I won't forget you were the one that was wrong... I know I need to step up and be strong! Don't patronize me, yeeAAaaaAaah... HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN! EVERYTHING THAT I WANTED? DO YOU FORGET IT'S NOW, YOU NEVER GOT IT? DO YOU GET IT NOW, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH..." Link sang angrily.

"Stop it, Link..." The King growled.

"Gotta get away! There's no point in thinking about yesterday! It's too late now, it will never be the same! We're so different now! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah..." Link continued.

"Ok, I get the point, you're mad at me!"

"HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN! EVERYTHING THAT I WANTED? DO YOU FORGET IT NOW, YOU NEVER GOT IT? DO YOU GET IT NOW, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH..."

"Link, I know you're singing about me, and I'm sorry! Just shut up!" The King said.

"I know I wanna run away, I know I wanna run away! Run away... If only I could run away, if only I could run away! Run away... I told you what I wanted; I told you what I wanted! What I wanted... But I was forgotten, I won't be forgotten... NEVER AGAAAAIIIIN!" Link went on.

"I'M SORRY!" The King of Red Lions screamed.

"Do you mean it, or are you just saying that?" Link asked suspiciously.

"I mean it! Now will you please stop?"

"Fine."

"THANK YOU!"

Link was pretty quiet for the rest of the way, until at last, they hit land.

"Here we-!" The King of Red Lions started, but stopped, when he saw the island.

Link stepped out of the boat and onto the earth.

"What happened to this place?" he asked quietly, looking around.

The island was nearly torn apart!

"I'm afraid this land has already seen Ganon's wrath... I hope Jabun, the water spirit, is still ok..." The King replied.

"Who's Jabun?" Link asked.

All of a sudden, Quill, the postman, landed right next to him.

"You won't find Jabun here," the postman said.

"Dammit, who's Jabun?" Link yelled.

"Oh, he's the water spirit guy that has Nayru's Pearl," The King told Link.

"Oooook...so where is he then?" Link asked, looking at Quill.

"He escaped just in the nick of time... And he's in hiding..." Quill said.

"Dammit, Quill, where's he hiding? I didn't come here for tension!" Link replied.

"He's hiding on the island where you were born... Outset Island!"

"Oh," Link said.

"Hey, that was supposed to be dramatic! You can't just say, 'oh'!" Quill said.

"Alright, FINE. Gasp. There, ya happy?" Link replied irritably.

Quill sighed.

"Fine. That'll do."

"Ok, so this shouldn't be too hard... I just go home and get the damn pearl, right?"

"There's a catch," Quill warned.

"Damn, I knew this wouldn't be easy..."

"I told the pirates about Jabun's hiding spot while I was at Windfall, and now they're after the pearl too..." Quill said sheepishly.

"YOU IDIOT! AW, (BEEP) YOU! YOU TOLD THEM?" Link cried.

"Yeah, I did..."

"Dumbass," Link snorted.

Now he was probably going to have to see Tetra again...

"So, what I suggest is that we go to Windfall first to see what the pirates are up to," The King of Red Lions said.

"Alright, it's not like I have anything better to do..." Link muttered, and stepped back into the boat.

After using his Wind Waker to make the wind blow northeast, Link drew the sail and the boated drifted away from Greatfish Isle.

Before he lost sight of him, Link gave Quill the finger, and then he was off to Windfall...