If you review, you will live. You hear me? LIVE! If you don't... Then you shall recieve DEATH BY PENGUIN!
Bombs Away!
After sailing for a while, Link and The King of Red Lions came to stop at the shores of Windfall.
Judging by the large pirate ship next to the island, Link figured with dismay that the pirates were indeed here...
"You have to find them and see what they're up to... Well, being that they'll probably have to blow up everyone and everything in their path during their trip to Windfall, I bet they're at the bomb shop," The King said.
"Well, duh..." Link snorted, getting out of the boat.
He quickly headed towards the bomb shop, and stopped at the door.
If Link just burst in there, then it was very likely that he'd be in danger...
There had to be another way in...
After a short, yet thorough investigation, Link had found a new way in.
He sidled the side of the building nearest to the water, and climbed some ivy up to a tunnel in the wall. After crawling through the tunnel, Link found himself on the rafters of the bomb shop, and positioned himself so that he would not be seen...
Down below, the shopkeeper sat on the floor, bound, gagged, and tied up. The pirates were carrying boxes out of the store, and Tetra stood leaning against the wall, her arms folded, as she watched her thugs work out of the corner of her eye.
Just look at her, Link thought, his eyes narrowing, Trying to stand there and look cool like the bad-ass bitch she is...
"Look pal, sorry we have to, you know, tie you up and stuff, but tough shit. We absolutely gotta have your bombs to get at the treasure we want!" Gonzo said.
"That was really smoothe how you got the answers outta that flying dude," a pirate named Mako told Gonzo.
"Yeah, I am pretty cool," Gonzo said.
"I mean, all you had to do was act like you were all worried about that Link kid and stuff, and he totally spilled the beans! You rock, my man," Mako cheered.
"But I was worried-I uh, mean, yeah, I rock."
Oh, great, he's still attracted to me... Link thought.
"You know, Gonzo, with your cunning and Miss Tetra's smart, if you two got married and had a kid together, it would be the most kick-ass pirate on the whole damn sea!"
"Ew, having sex with a girl-I mean, uh, wouldn't that be like, child mollestation or something? HEY, Miss Tetra! Listen to this idiot over here! Can you believe him?" Gonzo said.
"You're all fools, do you know that?" Tetra said, turning to stare at the two pirates. "Now quit (beeping) around and get back to work!"
"Are we done yet?" One pirate asked.
"No, you're not," Tetra replied.
"Well, after we load all this shit into the ship can we like, spend the night on Windfall? It's been forever since we actually spent some time on land. Please?" Mako asked.
Tetra exaggerated a sigh.
"FINE, but we're leaving tomorrow morning, got it?"
The rest of the pirates cheered, and Tetra began to walk out of the bomb shop. But before she did, Link could've sworn that she turned and winked up at him.
"Hey, Mako..." Gonzo whispered. "What was the password to get into the ship again? I forgot, and Niko won't let you in unless you say it."
"You forgot alredy? Fine, I'll tell you, but don't forget it! The password is 'condoms.' Did you hear that? Condoms, condoms, condoms, condoms!" Mako replied.
It was all Link could do to keep from laughing. How could this get any easier?
"Ok, I think I'll be able to remember now," Gonzo said.
The pirates carried the boxes of bombs out of the shop.
After a few minutes, Link followed them out, and then headed to their ship.
After arriving on the deck, Link headed towards the door leading inside, and knocked.
"Password?" Niko's voice " Link said.
Niko opened the door.
"Why, swabbie! It's you!" Niko said, and looked about ready to hug Link.
"Woah, woah, BACK OFF! I've killed a lot of stuff since I first left here, and I can kill you just as easily!" Link warned.
"Yeah, well, uh, what is it you wanted?" Niko asked.
"I came here for your bombs, why else?"
"You mean you didn't come just to visit me?" Niko asked sadly.
"Um, no, I'm selfish, not retarded... So can I have your (beeping) bombs?"
"Sure you can... IF you can pass another rope swinging test..."
"Um, ok..."
Niko began to explain how to do it.
"Ok, first, you gotta step on this switch-!"
"Oh, screw this!" Link said, and shoved Niko to the floor.
He went and took all the bombs, but as he was about to leave, his pocket rumbled.
"AH, SHIT!"
"I knew I shouldn't have left a little rat like Niko to guard our bombs... Well, you can keep them, but you better hurry to Outset, because we'll be leaving in the morning!" Tetra's voice said.
"WHAT?" Link was confused. "Y-You're just gonna let me keep the bombs you stole?"
"Well, that's what I said, wasn't it?"
Link was shocked. Could this possible be an act of kindness?
"Uh...thanks, I guess..." was all he could think of to say.
"Whatever," Tetra said, and then the stone stopped glowing, signaling she had left.
Link wet himself.
"Damn, that was weird... Well, whatever. I gotta blow up some stuff now..."
But before leaving, Link went over and kicked Niko, then he exited the ship.
He made his way over to The King of Red Lions.
"What's wrong? You look more confused than usual. And you have another wet stain in your pants. Do you have some, like, bladder control problem?" The King asked.
"SHUT UP! I'm fine!" Link snapped.
"Now who's cranky?"
"I said SHUT UP! Now can we just go?"
"Ok, fine," The King replied.
Yet again, Link drew the sail, and they headed for Outset Island.
The trip was silent the whole time, and now even The King of Red Lions was getting confused.
When they reached Outset, it was still dark.
"Something is wrong... It should be morning by now. Ganon must have done this. A curse! It shall be night forever!" The King declared.
"Well, you come to conclusions quickly, don't you?" Link asked boredly.
"We must find Jabun!"
"Wait! But I just got here! Can't I at least say hi to my family and friends?"
"Not now," The King said.
"Oh, (beep) you!" Link growled.
But he drew the sail once again anyway, and they began to circle the island.
"What's that?" The King of Red Lions asked quietly, as he spotted a whirlpool up ahead.
"Hmm... Let's see, A WHIRLPOOL, who knew?" Link said sarcastically.
"No time for sarcasm! I have a feeling we may have found what we've been looking for..."
"We found Jabun?" Link asked.
"Yes. Now hurry, let's head towards that whirlpool!" The King said.
"...What? Uh, excuse me, but I think you just told me to go into the whirlpool... I must've misheard you."
"Mm, you heard me right."
"I ain't doin' that! Are you out of your (beeping) mind? Do you want me to die?" Link screamed.
"That would be ni-I, I mean, uh, I have a good feeling about this. Just do it, I won't let you get hurt."
Link glared at The King of Red Lions warily.
"You know I really don't trust you, right?"
"Yes, I know. C'mon, just do it."
"FINE..." Link sighed. "But if I die and go to hell, I'm takin' you with me!"
The two slowly headed towards the whirlpool.
"Oh, I really don't wanna do this..." Link moaned.
But The King ignored him.
"I SAID I didn't wanna do thi-AH!"
Link was cut short as the pair got jerked into the whirlpool, and Link hit the side of the boat with a thud.
"Ow..."
"STOP SITTING AROUND! PULL OUT THE CANNON!" The King yelled.
"WHAT CANNON ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"
They had to shout above the noise.
"LISTEN, IF YOU JUST TAKE OUT YOUR BOMBS WHILE YOU'RE RIDING ME, A CANNON JUST APPEARS. DO THAT, AND USE IT!"
"WOAH, REALLY?"
"YESSSS, JUST DO IT!"
Link took out the cannon.
"WHAT DO I DO NOW?" He yelled.
"FIRE IT AT THAT STONE WALL!" The King of Red Lions replied, and nodded to a rock that seemed to be blocking something.
"OK!"
Link started to fire at the wall as the whirlpool dragged him and The King closer and closer to the middle...
Finally, a large chunk of the stone fell away.
"KEEP FIRING!" The King commanded.
After a little while longer, a second part of the rock gave way, and then finally, the last. The stone had been blocking a cave.
The whirlpool suddenly stopped, and Link fell to the bottom of the boat, dizzy.
"I'm never doing that again..." He said.
The boat moved itself into the cave.
"There's nothing here!" Link said.
"Hush!" The King hissed.
The two were silent for a moment, and Link began to hum.
"Shut up! Don't you know how to be quiet?"
"Fine, I'll be quiet!" Link growled.
Then, all of a sudden, something began to rise up out of the water...
Something big...
It was a giant blue fish!
Like the Great Deku Tree, it was retarded looking, and it had a little lantern on top of its head.
It was Jabun!
"Sggsgsdfgdbgfgyrtgdffertwdafedgreg?" Jabun said in some strange language.
"Yes." The King said.
"Adhfkjhgerijroiufngflkjiourimgfnf?" Jabun asked.
"Yes."
"Adsfdgsgdfgdsggdgrtgfgf?"
"No, the one I have brought here has no connection to the Hero of Time. Yet I sense great promise in him..."
"Afdsfdfgdfgdgdfgdfgggd?"
"Yes."
Jabun shook his head, and Nayru's Pearl flew out of the lantern atop his head and into Link's hands.
The boat turned around to leave.
"Aadsdgfhgrtregfdgbfsdgdfgfdgfd gfdgkjdfgdfhgdf gdfkgjdghejgifdogujfidgjdfljv gidfougiljgfgjodfig?" Jabun asked.
"Yes, I think I know who carries on the blood line of Princess Zelda..." The King said thoughtfully before he and Link left.