Chapter Three:

'Focus...focus...'

The gentle humming of the lightsaber filled the small training room, echoing off tiled floors. Master Yoda's gravely voice was a calming center point, ever so gently instructing- "Use the Force, you must. Reach out with your feelings. Focus."

The word seemed to echo through Depa's mind...focus

It was easy enough for him, being able to see, she thought bitterly. When constricted by big, heavy and extremely dark blast shield helmet 'easy' and 'focus' simply did not run together.

The desire to know what the other students where doing was almost overpowering. Every now and then she thought she could hear a giggle... were they laughing at her or something else? Were they even watching? And with a short, typical nine year old attention span she couldn't help but think she would rather be doing something else... anything else.

The disciplined, Jedi part of her mentality told her she should be feeling for the training droid. She could hear it, it was close, posed and ready to shoot at any moment. The thing was, she couldn't feel it.

Maybe it was her own preoccupation or some thing else more elusive, but it seemed to her that the Force was pupously evading her grasp. Every time she reached for it it danced away, like an itch just out of reach.

She knew she should know that it was her own fault and there was something she was doing wrong, but it was far easier to blame the Force itself. It just didn't seem to like her and...

Zap!

She heard the blast as if from a great distance and small hands moved her lightsaber quickly in an attempt to block... and didn't even come close.

"Ouch!" She jumped as the shot stung her leg like a wasp sting. The movement sent her helmet flying from her head. A wild attempt to catch it caused her to stumble backwards, tripping over her own feet.

Her saber fell from her grasp and rolled away, and she found herself on the ground, a searing pain lancing up her backbone.

The pain of the fall was nothing compared to what she felt at the sound of her fellow student's laughter.

Yoda made a clicking sound deep in his throat. "Trust the Force, you did not."

Depa looked up at him, winceing. It seemed to her that bright green eyes looking back at her were full of disapointment. Maybe they were. it was hard to see anything through the tears that were slowly forming in her own eyes.

She blinked furiously and stood, bowing low.

"I'm sorry Master, I tried..."

Yoda's interjection sounded incredibly harsh to her ears. "There is no try, youngling. One does, or one does not. If think in 'try' you do, fail you will." he thumped his gimmer stick on the floor for emphasis.

"Of course Master, I understand." Depa bowed again, blushing in shame.

Yoda shook his head, his large ears twitching. "No, understand you do not. But soon, Youngling. Soon. Over, this class is. To the evening meal, you Younglings should go."

He waved a small hand in dismisal and turned to leave the room himself, leaning heavily on his gimmer stick.

The other students filed out after him, and it seemed to Depa that they still laughed at her clumsyness, casting smirks and sneers in her direction.

Face still red with shame she retrieved her lightsaber and hooked it in its place on her belt.

It just wasn't fair. It was such a simple training excersise, everyone else had done it with relative ease. Why couldn't she? Why couldn't she feel the Force as surely as the others? When it was there, when she could feel it, it was strong. It seemed the possibilities of what she could do with it were endless, any task was made simple. But more often than not it wasn't there, and she couldn't feel it. Try as she might, she couldn't ever seem to reach it when she wanted to.

The scorn of the other students and the silent concern of teachers was unbarable. She knew what they were all thinking. 'Weak', 'Pathetic', never meant to be a Jedi. Maybe they were right, but she certainly didn't want to admit it.

While the rest of the students flooded into the cafeteria, chattering and giggling amungst themselves Depa went in the other direction, heading for the large chamber the Jedi used for sparring. If she had to practice all night she was going to get it right.

"Focus...Focus..."

Depa thumbed the ignition button on her lightsaber and the bright emerald blade sprang to life with a snap-hiss that dulled to a gentle hum. Set to low power it could do little more than cause a stinging welt, but still the weapon inspired confidence in her heart. She could do this.

Slowly she ran through the movements of the first lightsaber form, the only one she really knew. Gaining confidence she moved faster, following through on the strikes more.

Hesitantly, almost fearful, she reached out for the Force. There it was, such a beautiful empowering thing... for a moment in time it was with her, singing through her very soul, but before she had the chance to get thoroughly proud of her self it slipped away again, just out of her reach.

It was like a game of keep away that she just couldn't win...

"Arhhh!" thoroughly frustrated she chucked the saber at the ground. It hit with a loud clank, shutting off, then rolled a few feet before coming to rest.

She stood there, fists clenched and grinding her teeth together.

"Why? Why won't it work when I want it to?"

"Because you're trying to hard."

Depa jumped a good foot in the air, whirling around at the sound of the gentle voice answering her question. She hadn't even noticed anyone else enter.

The man that stood there was tall and intimidating, broad shouldered his head clean shaven with fiercely intelligent dark eyes gazing back at her and blending not unpleasantly with even darker skin.

She vaguely recognized him. His name was Windu or some such thing, an aspiring Master she'd seen around on a few occasions. The popular opinion of most was that he should be on the Council, and he no doubt would be soon enough. She was no judge on such matters.

Remembering manners through her haze of shock Depa quickly bowed, blushing furiously.

"My apologies Master, I did not realize you were here."

The Jedi Master smiled, an expression that made his sharp features seem far more friendly. Depa allowed herself to relax ever so slightly.

"No apology is needed. You were focused on what you were doing, thats all." He said. His voice was as pleasant as his smile, Depa thought, deep and resonating. It was a soothing gentle sound, largely out of place with his intimidating stature.

Depa nodded slowly, not sure what to say and fully expecting another lecture.

Mace moved in to the circle of the sparring area, comeing to stand a short distance away from the young girl. Casually he gestured with his hand and her lightsaber flew into it. Still smiling, he tossed it to her and she caught it numbly.

"You're very good with a lightsaber, Depa. Not many Padawans your age can use a blade so skillfully." Mace said.

Depa looked at the lightsaber she now held in her hand, the fact that he somehow knew her name currently overridden by the pleasure his praise brought her.

"You really think so? T-Thanks." She managed to stutter, starting to smile herself.

"Why then, do you fail?"

The question knocked the smile right off her face. "I don't know... I try, really I do... maybe I'm just not meant to be a Jedi..." She looked down at the floor, shame faced.

"Exactly... you're trying to hard. The Force is always there. Always. You have to let it come to you. Trust it. Stop trying to beat it into submission. Do you understand?"

Depa shook her head. "As Yoda would say, 'Understand, I do not. But soon.' And if I don't... well, I reckon I could make a pretty decent farmer."

Mace laughed softly at this. "Then help you to understand, I will."

He shrugged out of his heavy brown hooded robe and pulled his own lightsaber from his belt, switching down the power setting.

"Trial and error is the best method of learning, I always say."

Three mock battles later Depa was tired and sweaty but satisfied that maybe she had finally learned something useful.

She'd actually managed to beat Master Windu once. While part of her suspected this was because he'd let her, her pride refused to believe he would do such a thing. And with his gentle instruction the Force had seemed to come so easily...

"Well fought, young one. Do you feel you are any closer to understanding now?" Mace asked as he retrieved his robe and slid into it. He didn't seem tired at all.

'Must be nice.' she thought, wincing at her own sore muscles.

"Not really. But I feel I am well on the way to."

Mace smiled. "While arrogance is hardly a good thing, you should have more confidence in yourself. You fight well."

"Thank you Master, but I can't say I agree." Depa said, bowing politely. It was all she could do to get upright again.

Mace frowned. "You must trust in the Force, young one, but you also must learn to trust in yourself." he paused for a moment, thinking. "There's a tournament tomorrow for the apprentices, is there not? Are you entered?"

Depa shook her head. "No. I never bother entering those things. I wouldn't even make it past the first round..."

"You should." he replied simply, walking from the room.

Long after the clicking sound of his boot heels had faded, Depa still stood in the training room, thinking for the first time that maybe, just maybe, she could be a Jedi after all...

The next day Depa was up bright and early and in the cafeteria well before everyone else. She'd spent the night thinking, and her thoughts had finally brought her to the conclussion that she would indeed fight in the tournament today and that to do so she was going to need a good breakfast to keep her going.

She had taken the liberty of informing the knight in charge of setting up the brackets of her intentions, and while he had been mildly annoyed he had merely given her a short lecture on lateness and told her he'd see to it that she was fit in there somewhere.

Initially, she didn't really want to fight. Her brain supplied her with a rather large host of humiliating things that could happen...

"Focus." She told herself quietly. "Don't think about it."

Somewhere in the thick of her speculation the night before she'd puzzled about the mystery that was Mace Windu and her puzzleing had led her to an interesting conclussion. Maybe, just maybe, he was considering her for a Padawan. Why else would he have been watching her? Or for that matter, know her name? There where many apprentices, far to many for him to possibly be able to remember names unless he really wanted to.

Depa knew she shouldn't get her hopes up, she was probably wrong, but the idea of it was so terribly exciteing... if she could fight and win, maybe it would impress him enough that he would... it was almost too much to hope for...

Slowly the room began to fill with sleepy eyed apprentices, Knights, and Masters alike and Depa slipped out quietly to find a place to meditate before the Tourny began.

Never in her life had she felt so nervous. Would he even be watching? What if she lost? She could just imagine the look of disapointment on his face, the laughter of her fellow apprentices as she once again made a fool of herself...

Depa sat down on a nearby bench, suddenly feeling very sick.

Mace wouldn't be the only one watching, other Jedi would be too. Such a terribly big screw would surely convence them that she was not fit to be a Padawan... no one would want her...

"Focus Depa, focus."

"Heard, did you, that decide to fight young Depa did?"

"No, actually I hadn't."

"Strange, it is. Usually avoid tournaments, she does."

Master Yoda and Mace were casually strolling, or in Yoda's case, floating on a hover chair, through the halls, headed in the general direction of the training room. It was still some time until the tournament would start, but both wanted to be there when it did.

Yoda was watching Mace attentively, almost smirking. Somehow he must have known about the little training session Mace had had with the girl the day before.

"Wonder I do, at what changed her mind."

'Could you spell it out any plainer? Mace thought, resisting the urge to roll his eyes.

"I think I might know... yesterday evening I gave her a bit of help with her lightsaber training. She's fairly skilled, as a matter of fact. I told her she should look into entering. Apparently she took my advice to heart" he said slowly.

Yoda nodded, as if this information was hardly news to him. And it probably wasn't.

"Thinking you are, of taking her for a padawan." It wasn't a question.

"Yes. Yes, actually I am. I have watched her a great deal Master, ever since I found her... she has potential. She just doesn't know it yet."

"Quick to anger, she is. Impulsive, easily frustrated. To on the right path set her, difficult would be. Patience, you would need."

Mace got the feeling that Yoda wasn't so much reprimanding him as warning him.

"I have patience, Master." he said. "And it wasn't very long ago that I was like that myself. I could help her over come her shortcomings, teach her to find peace."

"Attached to her, you are. Care for her, you do. Dangerous, such feelings are, especially when teaching one is. Beyond these feelings you must move, if teach her you intend."

"I can do it, Master, I know I can."

"Hope you are right, I do. Hope you are right."