Chapter Four:
Voices filled the chamber, many excited and loud, as the participants waited to hear who would fight who. Their audience such as it was was gathered around the edge of the arena, some offering encouragement to friends.
Depa stood among the group of Apprentices feeling very small indeed. She was one of the youngest and certainly the shortest. While others gathered with their friends and chatted and laughed, she stood alone.
Always different, feeling out of place, Depa was very much a loner. She couldn't think of anyone she would actually call a 'friend'. Certainly none of this lot.
The sick feeling from earlier returned. They were all so terribly much bigger and stronger than she was...
The terms of the fighting were simple enough. Three hits with your opponents saber and you were out, if you yielded you were out, if you stepped outside the boundary of the mats you were out. The winner advanced to the next round. Simple. And so many ways for her to totally mess it up.
Vaguely she became aware of the fact that the young Knight she had talked to earlier-What was his name? She couldn't seem to remember- was announcing the bracket set up... this didn't bring her any relief.
Her first opponent was to be Kit Fisto, a Nautolen boy and a Padawan a few years older than her. She had seen him training some weeks before... he was good. Fast and athletic, seemingly perfectly in tune with the Force. But like everyone he had his flaws. If she could only remember seeing any...
Time flies dreadfully fast when you're dreading something. All too soon Depa found herself standing on the large mat set up especially for the occasion, facing the tall, lithe Nautolen boy.
The Knight (She couldn't for the life of her remember his name) held a red hankerchief high in his hand. When it dropped, the fight would begin.
Depa found herself growing impatient, her lightsaber clutched in sweaty palms. She was doomed, she knew she was doomed, and it was better all around if it happened quickly.
Kit was the epitome of calm, an easy smile on his green face as his many head tails twitched amiably. She tried to smile back was afraid she failed at it rather dismally.
Moments flashed by and she saw a flash of red out of the corner of her eye as the handkerchief dropped and the knight stepped back.
Kit's lightsaber hissed to life, the green of the blade eerily similar in shade to his skin tone.
Depa ignited her own blade, thinking it terribly ironic that it was the same color as his, and sank into a defensive stance.
'Let him come to me...' she thought.
Trying to remember what Master Windu had taught her the day before she opened her mind to let the Force in and felt the current of it wash through her, invigorating and vibrantly clear.
She could sense every being in the room, could feel the eyes on them. And she could sense Kit, could feel his happiness, his desire to win.
He stepped forward, bringing his saber down in an over head slash for her head. It never came close, her own blade hissing up to meet it. This gave her a surge of confidence.
Gracefully she spun away from him and then lunged in, fienting to his right. Swift as lightning he moved to block it, but she was no longer there. At the last second she'd spun around and dropped low, hacking at his waist. The blade struck home. It was all she could do to keep from yelling in delight.
'One strike for me.'
Kit, obviously suprised, leaped back and brung his saber up defensively. His initial thought had been that this would be an easy victory, she could tell. She'd show him. She'd show them all.
Boldly and almost violently she lunged forward again, striking rapidly and everywhere. Kit was hardpressed to parry her strikes and was slowly but steadily being forced backwards.
It was dangerous, she knew. If he got a chance to get out of her relentless flurry she was completely open to attack.
In those few moments, she lost herself. She was hardly aware of moveing, though she knew she was and fast. The Force seemed to roll through her in a wave, moving her comepletely of its own will.
Before she knew what was happening she hit Kit once, twice, three more times.
The stunned Nautolen boy shut off his lightsaber, wencing at the stinging pain her hits had caused that were now quickly forming inflamed red welts.
Depa felt fiercly proud. She'd made it through the first round. She didn't know how, but she had.
She returned her saber to her belt and she and Kit bowed to one another, then to the Knight ('Randon!' it finally came to her) before stepping off the mat.
"Good job." Kit said in well cultured tones as they were drawn back into the crowd of apprentices. "I've never seen anyone fight like that... it was rather humbling."
Depa grinned, blushing furiously. "Thanks. You weren't so bad yourself."
From his place amung the onlookers, Mace was frowning.
"Hmmm. Good, she is. But reckless. Bold." Yoda said from beside him.
"So are many others." Mace retorted, stubborn as ever. "It was an effective technique, if a little dangerous. If I could fine tone..."
"If, always if. Good enough, if is not. Know this, you do. Reckless she is, and reckless are you. A good combination, this is not."
Mace said nothing, not wanting to agree but unable to disagree. He had a point.
Yoda sighed. "Disagree with you, I do not. A good Master, you would be. Only worry for your well being, I do. If fail in training her you do, sad you would be. A repeat of your first Padawan... tragic, it would be."
"I know, Master. I have not completely decided yet myself. Only time will tell."
"Indeed. Now watch, we should. Starting again, they are."
Depa found herself facing a semi long wait while the rest of the fights were finished up. After chatting rather shortly with Kit, though he had been ever so friendly and she planned on seeking him out more often for now on, she had drifted off by herself once more, watching the crowd of onlookers.
He was there, Master Windu. Sitting next Yoda. She could see the pair quite well. And she could also clearly make out their frowns and Yoda's distinct look of disaproval.
Were they disapproving of her technique or something else? Had she been wrong to fight so fiercely? It had been reckless, she had to admit, but she had won...
Maybe that wasn't good enough. There was more to winning than just beating your opponent, Yoda always said.
Depa sighed, feeling shame once more course through her. What a fool! She had been so bent on winning, winning at any cost to impress the Master. In doing so all she was really doing was showing her lack of control. Master Windu wouldn't have any use for such Padawan.
What a fool!
Depa looked around at the other students, suddenly feeling angry. She was every bit as good as they were, if not better! But no Jedi would ever want her for a Padawan... because she was reckless. It wasn't fair!
She retreated the back of the group until her next fight came, feeling very bitter indeed.
Dimly she became aware of the fact that her name was being called... numb inside she stood and returned to the arena.
Her opponent this time was a tall, slender human boy around a the same age as her named Juan Lee.
He sneered at her as they walked into the arena and said out of the corner of his mouth, "Ready to loose, Billaba?"
She scowled back at him and replied just as quietly, "Keep dreaming fly boy."
Juan was an extremely arrogant boy, but for good reason. He was incredibly handsome for a boy so young, flawless in every way. Many of the other girls crushed on him, she knew. She was merely disgusted.
He was also very strong in the Force and skilled with a lightsaber. She had seen him in such tourneys before. He rarely ever lost. Something he was apparently determined to keep the same.
They both turned and bowed to Knight Randon, and then to each other. All the while Juan had a confident little smirk on his face.
Depa was suddenly possessed with the desire to nock that smirk right off that pretty little face of his... it was wrong to think this way, she knew, and dangerous to give into one's anger. But Juan was almost doing the exact same thing himself, so why shouldn't she?
A flash of red just outside the range of her vision signaled the start of the fight and her lightsaber snapped to life.
She rushed the other Apprentice, intending to use the same technique as earlier... Only it didn't work. Once again she couldn't get a firm grasp on the Force. Every time she reached for it it slid away, as though her anger made her mind slippery.
Juan blocked her attempts with ease, grinning all the while. Efortless he lifted a hand and the Force surged, pushing her back. Simultatiously his own clear blue blade smacked into hers, hard.
The shock shot through Depa's arm and into her shoulder, loosening her grip on her saber as his Force shove pushed her back. Another hit and her blade flew from her hand to land on the ground a few feet away with a loud clatter.
Desperate, she scrambled to call on the Force to return the blade to her hand, and it once again evaded her.
Juan's blade smashed into her shoulded and the pain was excrutiating even though it was a low setting.
That was when it hit her- she didn't have to be a better fighter to win this battle, and she could repair the damage her violent style had caused earlier. He was giving into his anger, his desire to win. Now he was the one atacking violently, reckless. She could be better than that. Even if she did loose, it wouldn't matter. Because winning in anger wasn't really winning in at all.
Filled with new determination Depa dropped down and kicked out at his knees. He leaped over it easily, bringing his saber over his head and down.
She saw stars, not entirely sure were the blade hit but only that it hit incredibly hard and suddenly her head hurt a great deal... so much for loosing with honor, she thought vaguely.
As though from a great distance she heard someone shout, "Stop!" And then darkness washed over her vission and it didn't seem to matter anymore...