Encounter with Ganon

After walking for some time, Link came to a beautifully embroidered door. He hastily and angrily pushed it open, and walked inside.

"Alright you bastard, I've got a couple of things to say to you!" Link yelled.

The evil man was standing, his back to Link.

"I will be the one talking first, you little prick..." Ganondorf said.

"Ha, I already got the first few words in!"

"Fool! Do you know who I am?"

"Yes, actually, I do!"

Ganondorf turned around.

"My name is Ganondorf... But my friends call me Ganon..."

Link rolled his eyes.

"Oh, gee, I'm learning so much I didn't know!" he said sarcastically.

"That sword you hold is so fucking useless..." Ganondorf replied in a low tone.

"Huh...?"

"That's right. The Master Sword is old shit, and now it doesen't even work anymore! When you removed it from it's pedestal, you opened a door... A door that kept me inmprisoned for hundreds of years! And now that it is opened, my power will be allowed to grow, and I will become so awesomely strong..."

"Yeah, well, maybe it'll help you to lose a couple o' pounds, buddy..."

"FOOL! Wait, wait... Go back outside and wait a few minutes... I'm not getting my lines right."

"What lines?"

"Damn you, boy! I had written out EXACTLY what I wanted to say for an occasion like this!" Ganondorf said angrily.

"Well, you have a lot of free time on your hands, don't you?" Link retorted.

"Just get outside! Then come back in, and we'll start over!"

"NO!"

"DO IT, YOU SON OF A BITCH!"

Link crossed his arms.

"Make me, mother fucker..." he said with a smirk.

"Fine! I will!" Ganondorf replied.

The evil man pulled some marijuana and one rupee out of his, uh...clothes... Then he opened up the door, and threw the items outside.

"FETCH!"

Link scampered out the door after the crack and the money.

Ganondorf chuckled.

"Heh heh...sucker..."

He shut the door, then began to flip through his lines.

After some time, Link had finished smoking the pot, and was pretty damn stoned. Again.

The boy shoved open the door to Ganondorf's lair.

"Hey, uh...Ganondorf...? Do you have any oreos?" Link asked.

Ganondorf turned around dramatically.

"The blade you wield is useless... When you drew it from it's pedestal, you opened the door that sealed my power... And now that that door is opened, I am free to build up my strength..." he said.

"Yeah, uh..." Link muttered.

"You have a reckless nature, my boy... And it's getting you dick deep in trouble..."

"Do you have any oreos?"

"SILENCE! I do not posess any oreos..."

"Ok then. What about cheetos?"

"No, I don't have cheetos either... NOW SHUT UP!" Ganondorf said.

"Ok," Link replied.

Then, for absolutely no apparent reason, Link ran up to Ganondorf and tried to stab him. The evil man knocked Link to the floor, and pointed one of his twin swords at the boy's ass.

"Do not attempt to defeat me, boy... Your sword lacks the power to repel evil now..."

Link just began to laugh hysterically.

"STOP MOCKING ME!" Ganondorf yelled.

Link continued.

"STOP IT!"

The laughing failed to cease...

Ganondorf began to cry.

"STOP MAKING FUN OF MEEEEEEE!"

Then, all of a sudden, a light thud was heard behind the evil man. Ganondorf turned around, only to see Tetra standing there. She had just jumped through the window... Her gaze fell upon Link, who was rolling around on the ground, laughing over nothing.

"ALRIGHT, LINK, THE JIG IS UP! IT JUST SO HAPPENS THAT THERE IS NO BANK ON THE GREAT SEA! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU, STEAL ALL YOUR MONEY, THEN CUT YOUR DICK OFF AND HANG IT ON MY BEDROOM WALL AS A TROPHY!" she yelled.

"Wait a moment, I want to kill Link!" Ganondorf protested.

Tetra gave him the finger.

"Not on my watch, ass fucker... I'm going to be the one to kill him!"

Ganondorf siezed Tetra by the neck and started choking her.

"BITCH! HOW DARE YOU DISRESPECT ME LIKE THAT!"

"Let-me-GO!" Tetra protested.

Then, for some strange reason, the triangular symbol of the triangular triforce on Ganondorf's hand began to glow... The man gasped, and brushed a strand of Tetra's hair away so he could see her right ear. What he saw made him chuckle evilly, for on the pirate girl's ear, was a triangular triangle earring...

"At last, I have found you... PRINCESS ZELDA!" Ganondorf said dramatically.

By that time, Tetra had stopped struggling, for she had fainted from lack of oxygen.

Link finally stopped laughing, sat up, and stared at the two of them. Then he scrunched up his face, pointed at Tetra, then began to laugh hysterically again as he fell back down on the ground with a thud. He too passed out from lack of oxygen.

Ganondorf had taken a short break to laugh maniaclly, which he shouldn't have done. When he turned his head to look at Tetra, she was gone! Then he turned to Link, who was gone too! The evil man ran to the window, and looked outside.

Prince Komali hovered in the air, holding Tetra, while Quill hovered next to him, carrying Link. Then, all of a sudden, The Great Valoo peered into Ganondorf's window, and blew fire out of his mouth, burning the fortress! Then, Komali and Quill flew away with Link and Tetra...