Chapter 13: Phone Calls Don't Help
Emma lay on her bed, dazed; confused. She had nothing to look forward to anymore. No J.T.; no Chris, no Manny, no nothing. She decided to stay curled up in her bed today, the day that study guides were handed out for her Environmental mid-term. She could've cared less.
Things had gone roughly that night, as Emma babbled away, tears streaming down her face, mascara running like the Mississippi. Manny and Ashley were speechless, just poking tissues at Emma cheeks and eyes, saying everything was going to be alright. But Emma knew better. She knew that her first love, her first everything, James Tiberius Yorke, was no longer hers. He was gone…. Forever. Or at least until Emma finally got the courage to say something to him.
RING!
Emma shot up in bed, startled by her cell phone. She pulled it out of her clutch. It was a Virgin Mobile phone, covered in a blue cover-plate with moons and stars. As she flipped the phone open, revealing her cell banner, which read, "I Love You Emma!" where J.T. had typed it, she suddenly felt a cold stone collapse onto her frail body. The phone rang again, and she answered it:
"Hello?"
"Emma? Hi sweetie."
It was Mom.
"Hey Mom," Emma greeted, trying to sound cheery as she rubbed her face tiredly.
"How've you been? I'm so sorry, I feel like I've been neglecting our weekly phone calls."
"It's alright Mom, really."
"Jack misses you." This was one thing that actually made Emma smile for once. Jack was now 4 years old. "He misses his big sister."
"Tell him I miss him too, but Mom, things are going terribly now."
"Why, what's wrong honey?" Emma took a deep breath.
"Well, J.T. and I broke up, and Manny and I got into a fight, I'm so screwed up right now, and- and," Emma began to sob, blotting at her red face with a tissue.
"Oh, honey," was all Ms. Nelson could manage to say. Emma could hear her stepfather Snake in the background, asking what was wrong. But she knew her mother was probably waving him off with her hand, shaking her head as if to say, "Not now, I'll tell you later."
"I don't know what to do, Mom! I'm in love with J.T.," Emma cried.
"Now Emma, I used to think I knew what love is, but it turned out to be a real screw-up-"
"No Mom, you don't understand! J.T. was the best thing that had happened to me in this shit hole! He made me feel like I was everything that was important to him, you know?"
Emma could hear her mother breathing heavily, thinking of what she should say to her love-struck daughter with a broken heart.
"Emma, I know how it feels to love someone, and everything just falls apart. Well, what exactly happened?"
"I- I almost kissed Chris, and J.T. was right there." The painful memory of last night came flooding back.
"Emma, no. That was a huge mistake on your part. You don't just go and kiss your ex because he's right there for that moment. It doesn't necessarily mean he'll be there for you forever. J.T. sounded like he had it made for you."
"I know Mom, and he did. I regret everything and all of what I did." Emma wiped her raw nose, flinching at the pain.
"Well honey, I don't know what else to say but to find forgiveness with J.T. But I have to go now; Jack's got to go to preschool sometime today," Ms. Nelson grumbled. "I'll talk to you later, okay?"
"Alright Mom, bye."
"I love you."
"Okay."
Click.
"Some help you were," Emma muttered, flinging herself onto the bed and throwing her cell phone at the wall and letting it land on the dirty carpet floor. She picked up her headphones and put them on, trying to block out the sound, her thoughts, the world. She turned her MP3 player on and had the music blasting as she listened to one of her favorite songs by Kelly Clarkson, which related so much to her situation:
(I DO NOT OWN THIS SONG OR ANY DEGRASSI CHARACTERS EXCEPT MANNY'S COUSIN)
Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside
Anymore...
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes