The Earth Temple Part 1

"Medli, stop that, 'cause it's really, REALLY starting to bother me!" Link said as he sailed along with Medli and the King.

Medli was dreamily staring at Komali's gifts while making animal noises. She stopped to look at Link.

"Why? Just ignore me!" she told him.

"I can't! It makes me picture you and the prince fucking eachother, and that just makes me want to puke! BLEH!"

"Fine...I'll just put it on," Medli said.

Link covered his eyes.

"I can't watch..."

But, alas, he opened up his fingers a little so he could see.

Medli took off her clothes, and began to put on the cops outfit.

"WOAH!" Link said. "SHIT, DUDE!"

Medli looked at him.

"What?"

"Um...nothing..."

Medli finally finished.

"Ok, you can stop pretending like you're not watching now."

"Ok."

The King of Red Lions was holding his video camera in his mouth.

"Ha ha! This'll make a GREAT movie!"

"TURN THAT FUCKING CAMERA OFF!" Link yelled.

"But...but this is GOLD!" the King declared.

"Oooh, King! Could you make a movie of me for Komali?" Medli asked.

"Sure!"

Medli lifted up the dress.

"KOMALI, I LOVE YOU!" she shouted.

"And I got it all on tape!"

Link moaned and rolled his eyes.

"Oh, man..."

At last, they reached the island where Link had met Laruto. Link payed no mind to the bad memories from the place as he threw himself onto the ground.

"LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!" the boy shouted.

Medli stepped daintily off the boat and next to Link.

"Oh, come on, the ride wasn't THAT bad..." she said.

Link was shaking.

"OH, nooooo, it wasn't bad...IT WAS FUCKING TERRIBLE! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU NAKED AGAIN! NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER AGAIN!"

"Link! Get a hold of yourself! Wait a minute...ARE YOU SAYING MY BODY SUCKS?"

"Yes..."

Medli whopped him on the head with her harp.

"SON OF A BITCH!"

"WHORE!"

"Stop it, you two! We have to discuss something!" the King said.

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?" Link and Medli yelled at the same time, spinning around to glare at the King of Red Lions.

"Um...well, I have to say that, Link, Medli, you two will face many perils. Link, you must protect Medli, and Medli, you must protect Link. Ok?"

"Ok," Link said.

"Fine," Medli agreed.

"Ok. Go away now."

Link and Medli walked into the Earth Temple.

"Huh! Yeah right...the bastard. You can jump off a cliff for all I care!" Link said.

"Ditto..." Medli grumbled.

They reached the large stone slab with the Wind Waker notes carved into it.

"I know what to do!" Medli said. "Start playing your Wind Waker."

"Which song?" Link asked.

"STUPID, THE SONG ON THE ROCK!"

"Bitch... I ain't not stupid..." Link mumbled as he pulled out his Wind Waker and started playing.

Medli accompanied him in an off-key tune on that damn harp of hers. Link winced everytime she plucked at it.

Then, when the song was completed, a large gap appeared in the middle of the rock. Then it exploded!

"Woah! Kick ass..." Link muttered, walking through the door that appeared where the rock was.

Medli silently followed.

Link ran ahead, then stopped, and nearly fell off a ledge. He and Medli were standing, like, on this cliff thing. then, the floor fell away, and at the other end of the room, there was another ledge with a door.

"Oh, dammit, now what!" Link mumbled.

"Um...Link? I have wings, you know. I could like...you know, fly you over there, or something like that," Medli replied.

"Wait...are you saying that you'll have to carry me?"

"I guess..."

Link grinned.

"Oh, now, Link, what's with that look?"

"Ha ha! You'll have to carry me!"

"And you find this amusing how?"

"Think about it... You carrying me. Helping me."

Medli shuddered.

"ACK! An act of kindness!"

Link laughed.

"Well...what are you waiting for? Carry me, and fly me to that ledge!"

"First you have to pick me up."

Link obeyed.

"Now run, and jump, and don't let go of me."

Carrying Medli, Link ran right off the ledge. Medli spread her wings and began to fly them to the other ledge.

"You're loving this now...aren't you?" the girl growled.

Link chuckled.

"Yes."

Finally, they reached the door, and Medli shook Link off and he fell roughly to the ground.

"Ow..." the boy muttered.

Then, they walked through the door.

In the next room, there were two stone pillars, and some moblins patrolling the area.

"Oh, crap...not these guys..." Link muttered.

"Kill them!" Medli ordered.

"Why don't you do it?"

"'Cause, you're supposed to be protecting me!"

"I don't care."

"Ok, think of this: if you don't do it, I'll take off my clothes!"

"AH! Ok, I'll do it! Just...don't get naked!"

Link went over to one moblin with his sword, and raised it to attack the creature.

But, being that the moblin was a bit smarter than Link, it attacked first, using its staff to knock Link's sword away.

"HEY! You can't do that! That's cheating!" he said.

"Oh yeah? Whatchoo gonna do, ya little dick?" the moblin asked.

"Um...give me a second to think of a plan..."

"Oh. Ok."

There was a few second period of silence.

"Hey! You little bastard! I'm gonna kill you DEAD!" the moblin finally said.

"AH! Spare me!" Link begged, falling to his knees.

"What the fuck is he doing?" Medli asked herself as she still stood in the door to the room.

"I will spare ye a horrible death...on one condition..."

"Sure, whatever, just don't kill me!"

"Ok... You and the girl have to go through the rest of this temple."

"Aaaand?"

"You have to go naked."

Link gasped.

"N-n-naked? With...her?" he gasped.

The moblin nodded.

"Yes. You both will take off your clothes, and continue on with the temple naked. We'll let you have your clothes back later. Now, bring the girl over here."

"M-M-Medli...?" Link stuttered. "Get your feathered ass over here..."

Medli walked over to them.

"What's going on?"

"We're going through the rest of the temple..."

"So?"

"We're going naked..."

Medli's eyes widened.

"WHY?"

"'Cause, if we don't, he's gonna kill us dead!" Link exclaimed, pointing at the moblin who was smiling triumphantly.

The other moblin walked over to them.

"Ok. Off with the clothes!" it declared.

Reluctantly, Link and Medli removed the aparrel from their bodies...

At long last, here it is! I apologize if it sucks really bad, but, you know, I got a lot on my mind what with my new story. Remember to check that one out too! Anyway, I promise the next chapters'll be better. LEAVE A REVIEW OR FACE THE WRATH OF MY PENGUIN!