What Happens in Weiss, Stays in Weiss.
By Michiko. A Real Nuance.
This chapter is going to bring out my utter hatred of Persia. I really hate this guy, you have no idea. I hate him worse than any of the alleged 'Bad Guys'. No exceptions. (sorry, Kurai!) I do realize that most people sympathize with/like Persia. Not me. And since I'm the one writing the story, Weiss shares my opinions. If you don't like it, go write your own Weiss story!
The last scene ended the day after the kidnaping, but the first scene of this chapter takes place while Bono is rescuing the Nuances. Confused? Don't worry, you'll catch on.
A florists van screeched to a halt in front of a "Twenty Minute Only" parking space, swerving a little as it did so, because the driver was involved in a very important confrontation. One that could determine the course of his life.
"Rock, paper, scissors, SHOOT!" Referee Ken chanted.
"Rock crushes Scissors." Aya formed his fingers in to a gun shape and blew imaginary smoke off of them. "I win."
"Five out of seven?" Yohji implored as Omi handed him the letter they had written to Persia. "What if he's in his office or something?"
"Just slip it under his door. Don't be such a baby."
"Grr. It seems like I always lose these things." grumbled Yohji, slamming the van door behind him. As soon as he was gone, the others burst into laughter.
"Well, that's because the contest is rigged, Yohji. It seems like he would have figured that out by now. I mean, how many times have we beaten him at this game?"
"We all know Yohji's a few innuendos short of a Disney movie."
"Actually, I always thought Yohji was kind of cool, until he decoded that MST quote Michiko gave us. Then I realized, Hey, Yohji's a dork."
Omi laughed as he checked the time. "I hope it doesn't take long to rescue them. I promised IANUMFTTT that I'd meet him at 4:30."
"IANUMFTTT?" Aya blinked twice.
"My Halo buddy."
"What the heck does IANUMFTTT mean?"
"It's chat slang for I Am Not Using My Fingers To Type This."
"Nifty."
"Yup." Omi jumped as though he thought of something. "This may be off topic, but do you realize how incredibly unfair it is that Schwartz totally kicks our ass at everything?"
"How so?"
"Well, think about it. They have psychic powers that make them practically unbeatable. They don't have to report to their boss at all. They don't have moral qualms, partly because they're evil and partly because they don't kill people they know regularly. They always seem to know everything that's going on. They don't have to work undercover. I mean, who died and made them indestructible?"
"Let's face it, Persia is a lousy leader, that does have something to do with it." Aya never did understand why Persia has such a hard time communicating with his private hit-group.
"But we're the forces of GOOD! We should have the sweet skills, not those Schwartz bastards."
This conversation had gotten Ken to thinking about one of the earlier encounters with Schwartz and their invincible powers of DOOM. "You have to admit, it was pretty cool when Crawford grabbed your arrow right out of the air at that casino place."
Sure, looking back on the incident, Omi could laugh, but it had been no fun at the time. "Yeah, that was awesome, but still, these guys are always heckling us, and I don't know how we're ever going to defeat them."
"Look on the bright side. It does say something for us that they haven't killed us yet. We're definitely the underdogs here." Aya was apparently trying to be comforting, although we have found no actual documented evidence of this.
"But, Aya! I don't want to be the underdog! I want to be able to predict the future and read people's minds and levitate junk and not feel pain and know what the heck is going on!" Omi screamed, pounding on the dashboard.
Ken pondered his group's disadvantages. "Well, we're all incredibly good-looking. Does that count as a psychic power?"
"Not really." sighed Aya. "When was the last time your pretty powers protected you in a fight?"
"They don't, but you do get discounts on stuff if the clerk is a girl."
"Ken! No taking advantage of your pretty powers!" Picking up on the conversation, Yohji lectured Ken as he jumped back into the car.
"Yohji, do you know that saying about the pot calling the kettle black?" Ken asked as Aya started driving them towards... where the Nuances were. Where ever that was.
"We were talking about how Schwartz gets kick ass powers, and we get diddly squat." Omi recapped for Yohji.
"We do some fairly impossible stuff. Like, smoke in the shower." Thinking about it, Yohji and his electric garrote wire (of DOOM) really come the closest to magical powers of all the Weiss.
"Yeah, but Yohji, Schuldich can, like, jump off roofs!"
"I CAN'T DO EVERYTHING SCHULDICH CAN, OK? LEAVE ME ALONE."
"Guys, we have no clue where we're going. I'm just going to park some where and we can wander around on foot, ok? Save some gas money."
"Okie Dokie! Does everyone remember their code names?" Omi asked cheerfully as Aya parked the van on the street.
"No." Ken, Aya, and Yohji responded. Omi sighed gratefully.
"Good, because I don't remember them either. Why do we even have them?"
"To humor Persia, I guess. I wanted mine to be Cheshire. Like, Alice in Wonderland." Ken reported as he dug around the seats for change for the parking meter.
"Why are we humoring Persia?" Aya asked while racking his brain for his code name. He was pretty sure it was a cat.
"Because Persia's elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor anymore, and we don't want to upset him." Yohji twirled his finger around his ear in the 'Crazy' sign.
"Does that group look familiar to you guys?" Aya asked, pointing out the window.
Five figures had emerged from a dark alley and were staring at the florist van parked in front of them. One of them had trace amounts of whipped cream and blood on her face, one was clutching a few mangas as though her life depended on them. Two, a boy in very unstable shoes and a woman with her hands wrapped around her ribs, were leaning on the fifth, who wobbled a little under the pressure.
"Heheh. That's for making me get Sk8er Boi stuck in my head. They'll never untie those knots." giggled Michiko as she tottered down the street.
"Does that van look familiar to you guys?" Cyrano asked, pointing as the doors of the vehicle opened and Weiss materialized.
"You're ALIVE!" Rainbow got over the shock of having Ken holler in her ear and was really enjoying having the air squeezed out of her, but then she remembered who was responsible for her serenity.
"It's really thanks to Bono. He rescued us." She admitted meekly, feeling a little guilty for the unhappiness she may be causing her friend. But Bono didn't care about anything but changing out of those shoes.
"It's ok, Rainbow. I have a boyfriend back home. I may not remember his name just now, but I know I love him. So don't worry. You win." Her fears allayed, Rainbow went back to savoring the moment. And it was a good moment, too.
Aya never would have admitted that he was rather fond of the Nuances, especially Cyrano. Perhaps it was because he felt a natural empathy for cool, bloodthirsty redheads like himself. Perhaps it was because the author wanted them together. Or perhaps it was simply because Cyrano was so Cyrano, what's not to be fond of? Whatever the reason, Aya found himself concerned over the amount of blood the already pale girl seemed to have lost during her ordeal.
"Cyrano, are you ok? They didn't hurt you or anything, did they?"
Cyrano wiped some of the whipped cream off her face, smiling. "No, they didn't hurt me. I just went into ACE land for a bit, and my nose started bleeding. But I'm back now."
"Angsty...Cute...Evil..." Aya muttered, trying to convince himself he was NOT jealous of Nagi. Cyrano wrapped her arms around him.
"But you're Angsty Yare Adorable." Cyrano watched him try to figure out the Acronym with an amused smile. "A... Y... A. Aya." (Very quick A/N: I was having so much trouble find a Y word for this. Yare (adj)- brisk, active, quick)
Next to her, Amaya was trying to subdue an agitated Omi.
"IthoughttheywouldkillyouIwassoworriedandYohjisaidweweren'tgoingtopaytheransom,butwewouldhaveitsokI'msogladyou'reallrightwhatwouldhavehappenedifBonohadn'tfoundyouI'mafailureatlifeIshouldhavebeentheonerescuingyouIcan'tbelievehowirresposiblewearepleaseforgiveme!"
Amaya staggered yet again as Omi collapsed on her, sobbing. Feeling self-conscious, she ruffled his hair affectionately. "You're not irresponsible, Omi. You were trying, I know." Amaya moved as though to take her hand off his head, but lingered before ruffling his hair again. And again. And again.
Omi started to get worried. "Amaya? What are you doing?"
Ruffle ruffle. "Your hair is really fun to ruffle affectionately!" Affectionate ruffle.
Omi wasn't the only one collapsing on people's shoulders. Michiko stopped fighting against her tears and began to weep on Yohji's shirt.
"Don't cry. You're safe now. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you." He reassured her, hugging her a little tighter. Hopeless romantic that she is, Michiko would have thought the whole scene was really sweet, if she had been crying because she was traumatized by her recent experience. Unfortunately, this wasn't the case.
"Pain...it...burns...ribs."
Watching his friends, Bono, now barefooted, picked up the mangas Rainbow dropped when Ken tackled her. "Yohji, you might want to let go of her before you fracture her ribs. You know, just a suggestion."
A few feet away, Cyrano was babbling about her Dir en Grey concert to Aya. "It's probably tomorrow in this universe, too. We could go. I know some of my friends wouldn't mind too horribly much if they missed it. I would think they'll accept tickets from other universes... Don't you?"
"What's the band called again?"
"Dir en Grey. They're awesome. They do J-rock."
"What on earth is J-rock?"
"Hello? Japanese rock?"
"I've never heard of it."
Cyrano gasped, causing everybody on the street to stop and look at her. "YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF J-ROCK?"
Up and down the street, people were whispering 'What's J-rock?' Cyrano looked scandalized. In a panic, she pulled a passerby who looked fairly gothic off the street.
"You! Have you ever heard of Dir en Grey?" When the man shook his head, she continued, "Moi dix Mois? Shwartstein?" The confused Goth. continued to shake his head, so Cyrano grabbed his collar in desperation and shook him. "Are you trying to tell me that J-rock doesn't exist?"
"Cyrano? Put the man down... we'll go home and look them up on the Internet, ok?" Michiko consoled apprehensively.
Amaya was the first in the van. "Yes! We can finally get something to eat!"
So everybody went back home, and Cyrano typed names into a search engine while everybody else had an emergency meeting of the Nuances of Toast, with special guest speakers from Weiss. The meeting had been called by Bono.
Sitting at the head of the assembled group, Bono waved the mangas aloft. "I have reason to suspect that this is the series we're from. So there are only two questions. How do we use them to get back, and how fast can you guys be packed?"
Quite suddenly, Ken noticed that the girl he was sitting next to had a pocket protector and glasses. Rainbow had patched up her quarrel with her smarter side and become Super Smart Rainbow of DOOM.
"Well, Bono, the safest way to get back would be to drive out to where we wreaked the car, and read a little of the book and try to remember. As soon as we do, we'll go back to our universe."
"What kind of stuff are we trying to remember?" Bono asked eagerly.
"How the Hell should I know? I've never done this before." Super Smart snapped.
"Well, in that case, we'll just give it a try. Now, Nuances, let's get packed. With a little luck, we can be safe at home by midnight." Smiled the boy, standing up.
"WHAT? Bono, we're not leaving tonight! Rainbow said we had a month before our vacation was up." Amaya protested, no longer angsty. The meal and no longer being tied up really helped her mood, and now she was back to normal. Beside her, Omi was nodding enthusiastically.
"Yeah. You can stay with us as long as you want! Please?"
Bono frowned impatiently at the puppy eyes the others at the meeting were flashing at him. He was about to say something incredibly philosophical, I'm sure, but a blood curdling scream from the computer stopped him.
"NO ITEMS FOUND! NOT ONE SITE, FOR A SINGLE J-ROCK BAND!" Cyrano wailed, bursting into tears. "It doesn't exist. I can't believe it!" Suddenly, though, she stood up and headed for the door. "Come on, Toastlings. We're going. I refuse to stay in a universe without J-rock."
Bono sighed with relief. Between Aya and Nagi, he wasn't sure how he could force his red-haired friend out of Weiss. The others, however, were still putting up a fight.
The Out of Character Fairy, unseen by all, snuck up behind Aya and sprinkled him with OOC dust. "Please, don't leave, Cyrano. Stay. Just for a month."
"Cyrano, please, can we stay? Just for a month?" Michiko echoed.
"By then the concert will be over! Get your stuff. We are going!" she stomped, ignoring the plaster that shook itself free from the ceiling and settled on her shoulder. Rainbow raised her hand, trying to get attention without interrupting.
"I shan't go!" Amaya declared loudly. Everybody else was screaming and talking at once, but her voice was the clearest.
"Yes, you shall!"
"I vote that Amaya just stay here. The others can leave. Or whatever." Omi suggested, trying to sound like he was joking.
"No, the Nuances of Toast are a team. Inseparable." Bono sighed. Much as he wanted to get home, he knew that he could never break up the group.
Michiko had noticed Rainbow waving her hand around frantically. "Rainbow wants to say something..." she trailed off timidly.
"And another thing, Bono. Why is it so important that you guys leave?" Yohji screamed over the general babble.
"Because we don't belong in your screwed up universe!"
"HEY! RAINBOW HAS SOMETHING TO SAY, OK?" The whole room went quiet as Ken screamed. "Go ahead, Rainbow."
Rainbow blushed. "I just... I didn't mean to interrupt..."
"No, we're listening."
"Well, according to my calculations, we can stay about ten days and get back in time to see Cyrano's concert. So, um, we could do that. If you want. It's not a very good idea..." Rainbow whispered, almost dying of fright when Bono picked her up by the shirt collar and started shaking her appreciatively.
"Rainbow, what are you talking about? That's a great idea!"
So, ten days later, the assorted group found themselves standing at the site of the burned out wreckage that had been Michiko's rental car. Bono was once again reunited with Bev, whom they had forgotten at the site after her single cameo-style line.
Bono was the first to break away from the assembly. He stood in front of the car alone, holding Nagi's book.
Rainbow gave Ken one last goodbye hug. "Goodbye, Ken. It was really great meeting you and all. You're a great guy. And I had a really good time."
"I had a good time too. You're a sweet girl, and I'm going to miss you. Bye, Rainbow."
Rainbow broke off from the group and went to stand by Bono, who leaned over and whispered to her, "God, he does look good, doesn't he?" Rainbow nodded. "Don't feel too bad. I leafed through these a few times, and I would say we both have a better chance of getting laid at home. The others, maybe not so much, but we do."
Cyrano was saying goodbye to Aya. "Aya, I like you a lot. But... some things are more important than love. Loud music is one of them."
"It's ok. I understand. Goodbye, Cyrano. Have fun at your concert."
"Oh, I will, believe me. Goodbye, Aya." Cyrano, too, left the ever-shrinking company to stand with Bono and Rainbow. The three stood there, waiting for their other two friends to say goodbye. But Amaya and Michiko didn't move.
Michiko glanced at Yohji. "Guys, I think I might stay here..."
"Michiko! You can't!"
"But... it's different for you guys. My life sucks in my own universe, I know that much."
"But, what about your cat?"
"You can have her. If my cat is the only thing keeping me going, you know my life must be pretty pathetic. And I don't know anyone who watches MST there..."
"If Michiko gets to stay, I stay, too." Amaya announced, squeezing Omi a little tighter.
Rainbow's eyes filled with tears. "Amaya, if you stay here, who will I watch FMA with?"
"Rainbow, it's not the end of the world. And look at him!" She bubbled, holding Omi in front of her so her fangirl friend could see him.
Michiko bit her lip. She remembered all too well what happens to friends of Omi's. And if you haven't guessed by now, I may as well tell you, Michiko is insanely protective of her friends.
"Amaya, go with the others."
"Michiko, that is so unfair! If you get to stay, then I should be allowed to!"
"Amaya, Michiko isn't staying. She's coming just like the rest of us." Bono assured the group.
Michiko stammered a little. "But... but... Yohji?"
Yohji patted her back. "Go back to your own universe. We'll be fine. You see, we're all deadly afraid of commitment. Like, Aya is afraid that any human contacts will take him mind off of revenge. I lost the only person I ever loved a long time ago, and I've been playing it up ever since. Ken is just your typical non-committal male. And Omi is too young to be in a serious relationship. Plus he has really bad luck, so I wouldn't be entirely surprised if everybody he falls for is related to him or something. So, you see, we're all better off on our own. Michiko, you're awesome, and it's nothing personal, but you should go."
"Well, when you put it that way. Bye. I'll see you around or something." And with that, Michiko went and joined with the other Nuances.
Amaya and Omi embraced one last time. "Bye. I'll miss you," they both whispered simultaneously. Then they laughed, and the final Nuance joined her friends.
"All right." Rainbow announced, flipping open the manga. "Hold onto your suitcases. We're going home."
Weiss watched as the Nuances leaned over their book, murmuring things like 'oh, yeah,' and 'I remember that!' Then, as a group, they just... vanished. The only thing left was the manga they were from, sitting on the ground. The killer florists went to pick it up.
"Yohji, do you really think I have a problem with commitment?" Ken asked offhand.
"Yes. But I wouldn't worry about it too much."
Meanwhile, the Nuances awoke on the road Cyrano had drove the car off of in the dark. And miracle of miracles, there was the rental car, perfectly intact, with the laptops, cell phones, anime videos, sketch pads, home movies, scrap books, and concert tickets sitting on the seats as though nothing had happened. Overjoyed, the group piled into the car to go to Cyrano's concert.
Stroking her belongings lovingly, Amaya suddenly gagged. "Guys, what if we forget about this vacation, the way we forgot about our lives when we went over there? I don't want to forget Omi!"
The driver, Super Smart Rainbow (Michiko wasn't going to let Cyrano near the keys again), smiled. "No need to worry. We only forgot because of the initial shock of going through the space time continuum. Now that we've adjusted to it, we won't forget."
The others stared at her in abomination. Finally, Bono spoke up. "That plot has the most holes of any I've ever seen. You should be ashamed of yourself."
Rainbow shrugged. "Well, the author couldn't think up a better loophole. She wrote herself into a corner. She wanted us to keep our memories... but only the ones she wanted us to have. And its not like we want to forget this vacation, so roll with the punches."
Bono was too exhausted to argue. "Fine. Whatever. Can we go home after this concert?"
Michiko looked up from the roadmap. "No, we'll be too far away from home. But we'll leave the next day."
Cyrano sighed. "Won't that be cutting the trip pretty short? Technically, we only left a day ago."
Michiko groaned. "Yeah, but we've been gone for a long time, really. I think I've had all the recreation I can handle. Adults can't take too much at one time."
So, the group went to the concert, had a great time, and then decided to go to a very nice restaurant using the hotel money they saved by cutting the trip off. They were driving towards the restaurant when suddenly, without warning, Rainbow slammed the car brakes on. Nobody asked why, because the same thing had gone through all their minds at the same time. Ignoring the huge traffic backup behind them, the fangirls all whispered the same thing to themselves.
"Holy S–T! (Please pick one per fangirl) Kaname/Naoya/Tomonori/Tsukasa." The girls stared at each other in horror. Finally, Amaya voiced the question running through the car.
"Did we just... cheat on... our boyfriends?"
Bono shrugged sympathetically. "Well, yes, pretty much. Except Michiko, because she doesn't have a boyfriend. She just has a life-threatening crush." Before Michiko could celebrate, however, Bono stuck out his tongue and added, "but I think that should count too. Haha. I'm faithful! You guys aren't!"
This revelation subdued the fangirls, and even Bono felt a little bad. He had almost decapitated Rainbow over Ken... So, being a bad role model, of age, and knowing nothing helps a bad conscious like a little alcohol, Michiko decided to buy them a round of drinks.
As soon as the little sake glasses came, Cyrano raised hers in a toast every Nuance could drink to.
"Here's to our boyfriends! May they never meet!"