Jahalla

Link and Medli walked into the room.

It was dark, as was the rest of the temple. That is, until Medli blew most of it to smithereens.

They walked to the middle of the room.

Silence. Darkness. Not a sound. Nothing. At all. Really. Truly. The room. It was empty. Seemingly. Accept for Link. And Medli. Maximum of three word sentences.

"Hello? Oh, big scary monster! Come out, come out, wherever you aaaaaaare! Taaaasty, naked children, ripe for the picking!"

Link chuckled.

"There's nothing here... I think you killed whatever it was dead with your bombs, Medli," he said, although he did not look at the girl to whom he was speaking to.

"Link, don't say stuff like that! 'Cause when you do say stuff like that, it usually ends up happening anyway!" Medli said.

"Ah ha, yeah right... Like a biiiiiiiig, scaaaaary monster is just gonna pop out of nowhere and-"

All of a sudden, a huge, fat, poe creature waving a lantern appeared.

"Eat us..." Link finished weakly as he stared at the creature.

It was Jahalla!

Jahalla was silent for a moment.

Then he burst out laughing.

"AH HA HA HA! YOU'RE LIKE...NAKED AND STUFF! HA HA HA HA HA!" he howled.

Link turned bright red.

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH PEOPLE THESE DAYS? THEY SEE NAKED CHILDREN, AND THEY FIND IT FUNNY! WHAT'S SO FUNNY ABOUT NUDITY, ANYWAY?"

Jahalla put his face only inches from Link's.

"It's hilarious, I mean, come on! You, and that girl...naked! HA HA! Eh HA HA! EE HEE HEE HEE HEE!"

Link crossed his arms and rolled his eyes.

"Laugh it up, fat boy..." he murmured.

Jahalla's giggles ceased.

"Did you just call me fat, you son of a bitch?" he demanded.

Link grinned and nodded.

"Yep. Fat."

"Yeah, well, you're SHORT!" Jahalla shot back.

"You're ugly," Link replied.

"You're uglier!"

"You're ugliEST!"

"You're ugliER than ugliest!" Jahalla exclaimed.

"Yeah, well...you're INFINITE ugly!" Link said.

Jahalla was silent for a moment.

"Yeah, well..."

He looked Link up and down.

"YOUR PENIS IS TOO SMALL!"

Link raised one finger, opened his mouth, then shut it. His bottom lip quivered.

"Small...?" he whimpered.

Jahalla nodded.

"Yes. Small. Itsty, bitsy, tiny!"

A tear rolled down Link's cheek.

"My grandma told me it would grow! AND THAT WAS A YEAR AGO! IT SHOULD HAVE GROWN BY NOW! IT SHOULD HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" he wailed.

Our not so hero-ish hero ran away from Jahalla, and crashed into the wall. His nose began to bleed.

Medli looked at Link, then at Jahalla.

"That was mean..." she said.

There was a moment of silence.

"You're really good at insults!"

Jahalla grinned.

"Yeah, I know, I'm chock full of 'em. But...I'm still gonna have to kill both of you. And, I probably will, seeing as you don't fight, and he..."

The creature looked over at Link, huddled at the far end of the room, sobbing while eating oreos.

"Well, you know. Now, PREPARE TO DIE!"

But, just as Jahalla was about to crush Medli, she magically obtained Link's sword and blocked the hit.

"Bring it on, BITCH! I'll fight you ANYTIME, ANYWHERE!" Medli declared as she also recieved Link's mirror shield and power bracelets.

THE BATTLE BEGAN!

Random, mysterious rays of light appeared, shining down onto the floor.

Medli ran into one, and the light bounced off of her...well, LINK'S shield. She aimed it at Jahalla as the massive creature slowly, ominously approached her.

When the light hit him, he began to shake and stuff, then became solid.

Jahalla sat there, dazed.

Medli slipped on the power bracelets, lifted up Jahalla, and sent him rolling into the spikes lining the wall.

Then, Jahalla burst into a whole bunch of tiny poes, also in their solid form. They were frantically skipping in circles. Medli went around to some of them, and killed them dead with the Master Sword! She took out at least five.

The poes turned back into Jahalla!

Jahalla shook his lantern, causing little fireballs to fly and scatter across the room.

Medli got singed!

She winced, but, once again, looked at the area where the patch of light was.

It wasn't there anymore!

The girl looked around desperately, then found that another mysteriously ray of light had appeared. She ran into it as she did before, and aimed the shield so the light bouncing off of it fell onto Jahalla.

The same thing happened.

Jahalla sat there as Medli ran over to him, picked him up, and threw him into the spikes.

She took out three little poes this time.

Then, when the poes turned into Jahalla again, the beast was furious. It attacked Medli viciously, and she got hit a few times.

"Link, a little HELP right about now would be nice!" she growled, loud enough for her distraught companion to hear.

"JUST SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M HAVING A PERSONAL CRISIS HERE!" Link replied, continuing to eat his oreos tearfully as he sat curled up in a tiny ball, facing the wall.

Medli figured that he would be of no use.

Finally, another ray of light appeared, which Medli dashed to greatfully.

She aimed the light at Jahalla, who, once again, fell into a daze.

And, once again, she picked him up, threw him into the spikes, and those little poe things, ONCE AGAIN, began to panic.

She killed six this time, with the help of her super-speed-powers-that-you-didn't-know-she-had-until-now powers, of course.

One poe remained. It stood there, shaking, as Medli approached it.

Then it flew away.

JAHALLA WAS DEFEATED!

Medli began to do a victory dance.

"Is he gone...? Please...tell me he's gone..." Link whimpered.

Medli turned to face Link.

"Yeah, he's dead."

The boy got to his feet.

"YEAH! I WIN!" he cheered.

Medli glared at him.

"What the hell are you talking about! I killed him!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say Medli... NOW, LET ME GET BACK TO DROWNING IN MY MARVELOUS VICTORY!"

Link started dancing, until Medli slapped him.

"STOP THAT! AND, I WAS THE ONE WHO KILLED JAHALLA!"

"NO, YOU WEREN'T! HOW DARE YOU TRY TO STEAL THE VICTORY FROM ME!"

"YOU JUST COMFORT ATE THROUGH THE WHOLE BATTLE!"

"HOW DO I KNOW YOU WEREN'T THE ONE COMFORT EATING WHILE I KICKED JAHALLA'S ASS!"

"Because I was the one fighting!"

"No you weren't! IT WAS ME!"

"VICTORY STEALER!" Medli yelled.

"LIAR!" Link spat.

"SCRUB!"

It was then that Link realized that he had been looking at Medli as they argued.

The young boy fell to the ground, and started screaming and rolling around on the floor...naked.

Medli laughed, but then, something caught her eye.

"LINK! Your clothes!" she said, pointing.

Link immediately recovered.

"Huh?"

He looked over and, seeing that Medli was telling the truth, ran to his apparrel, putting it on happily.

"WHOO! MY CLOTHES! Now, could you PLEASE put YOUR'S on?"

Medli stayed put.

"No, I like being naked!" she said. "I think I'll be, like, a Nudist or something from now on!"

"Well, then, I guess I'm gonna have to do this," Link replied.

He blindfolded himself.

"Link, that's just stupid. You're gonna crash into stuff! Now, c'mon, I have to return some power to the Master Sword! Get over here, and play that Wind Waker song!"

Link tried to find his way over to Medli, and, eventually, he did, but not before crashing into the spikes a few times.

Medli grabbed Link so that he would stay put.

"Ok. You're in the right spot. Finally! Now, start playing!"

Link searched his pockets for the Wind Waker, found it, and started playing the song.

Medli followed along (off-key, of course.) on her harp. Link winced and his body jolted everytime she plucked at the strings.

When the duet was over, Link felt the Master Sword vibrate, and all that stuff.

Then, happily, he realized that he was free to go.

Our hero stumbled about blindly (well, obviously with that blindfold on!), trying to find the little cyclone thingy.

Medli grabbed him by the shoulders and lead him to it. When he was just about there, she shoved him in.

Link was sent swirling into the air, as he usually was when he went into the cyclones, away from the dreaded Earth Temple, and Medli and her evil, disfigured...figure.