Fado
At last, the dynamic duo reached Gale Isle. Link stared at it resentfully. It didn't look too promising. There was a statue at the far end of the isle, and it had strong gusts of wind coming from it. It was so strong, in fact, that trees bent in its wake!
"I guess you can see where the iron boots come in handy," the King said.
Link was silent. He had taken out the boots, and was staring at them blankly.
"What's your problem! Put on the fucking boots, do what you gotta do, and let's get out of here!" the King of Red Lions snapped.
"I can't!" Link whined. "They're UGLY. And they don't match my tunic!"
"Eh! So this is why you won't wear them! Because they're unattractive!"
"Yep, pretty much. These fucking boots won't attract any chicks, now will they!"
"Link, that's just stupid! Now, put on the fucking boots before I have to rip your balls of with my bare hands!"
"What hands?" Link replied, smirking.
The King of Red Lions growled and cursed under his breath.
"Ok...if you put on the boots and do what I say for a little while, I'll pay you."
Link's face lit up.
"How much?" he asked.
"Um...1 rupee."
The boy snorted.
"Tch! You're gonna have to do better than that!"
"Fine, how 'bout 1,000,000 rupees?" the King offered.
"DEAL!" Link exclaimed, grabbing the boots.
He waded towards the isle as the King chuckled.
"Heh heh, sucker... He ain't even gettin' a dime... Dim-wit. He fell for my little trick! My little trick...THAT I GOT ON TAPE! WHOO!" he cheered as he stopped using his X-men powers to make his video camera invisible.
When Link was near the isle's shores, he stopped in the shallowest part of the water, put on the boots, and struggled to get onto the land.
It was like carrying a billion and three pounds on his feet! It really sucked, but, Link wanted to get the King's money, so, he did it anyway.
The powerful wind just made things suck more. Link slowly inched towards the gust's source, and finally reached the statue. He tried to break it with his sword, but that wouldn't work. Then he remembered the Skull Hammer! Link took it out of his pants, and smashed the statue.
The wind stopped. A door revealed itself in the statue's place.
Link fell over backward as he struggled to get the boots off.
"Damn...boots!" he growled through clenched teeth as he struggled.
Once they were finally off his feet, Link slunk through the door on soar legs.
The room before him was very similar to the one with Laruto in it.
Link shuddered at the thought of her... So corny...so scary...so...EVIL.
Shaking the terrible memories from his head, Link reached the stone slab at the end of the room.
Like the one before it, this stone slab had Wind Waker notes carved into it.
Although he was scared of whoever would appear this time, he played the song anyway.
Nothing happened.
Link turned to leave, but screamed and jumped when he saw the ghostly figure of a boy about his age before him.
The kid was wearing a tunic-like outfit, a hat like Link's, and he wielded a violin.
That violin...it looks so familiar... Link thought.
The boy had blonde hair and sort of tan skin.
"Hey, yo, 'sup?" the boy asked.
"Um...who the hell are you?"
"Oh. The name's Fado, yo. So, 'sup?"
Link glared at Fado.
"Do you mind getting out of my path!" he growled.
"Dude, for one, you could just walk around me. And two, I have stuff to talk to you about!"
Link was pretty irritated.
"Ok, get on with the info, chop chop!"
"So, you gotta find my descendent, right, yo? The dude's got a violin just like mine," Fado said, holding out his violin. "You gotta bring the dude here, kill whatever's in the temple, and you're done."
Link stared at the violin.
Oh, shit... How come I didn't realize it earlier! Makar...Makar! I have to go see that stupid little shrub again! Link thought.
"So, dude, I guess that's about it. Wanna have sex?"
Link looked up at Fado.
"Eh?"
"Wanna have sex?" Fado repeated.
"But I'm not gay..." Link replied.
"Oh."
There was a long moment of silence.
"Well...wanna do it anyway?" Fado asked.
"It depends...how much are you paying me?" Link replied.
"Um...isn't this, like, prostitution or somethin' dude?"
"So? Now, pay up, and we can get started!"
Fado handed Link 100 rupees, and they began...
A few hours later, the King of Red Lions sat in the water, wondering what was holding Link up.
Curious, he turned into his human form and walked into the little temple-like place...
"Damn kid..." he muttered as he walked. "What the hell is that little prick up to! It's been hours! What could he possibly being doing that would take this lo-OH MY GOD!"
Daphness Nohansen Hyrule just happened to walk in on Link and Fado still in the 'act'.
The two boys yelped out of surprise and seperated.
"LINK, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Daphness (We'll refer to him as 'Daphness' when he's in his human form from now on, ok?) yelled.
"IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE! Well, actually, it is, BUT DON'T GET THE WRONG IDEA! IN FACT, I DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO DO THIS! FADO RAPED ME!" Link yelled.
"W-WHAT! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, DUDE! SURE, I BROUGHT UP THE IDEA OF HAVING SEX, BUT YOU AGREED TO IT! THAT'S NOT RAPE!" Fado said, defending himself.
Daphness was speechless.
Link continued the argument.
"I NEVER AGREED TO ANYTHING! YOU DRUGGED ME, THEN YOU RAPED ME!"
"I DON'T OWN ANY DRUGS! THE COURT CONFISCATED THEM FROM ME WHEN I WENT TO PRISON LAST MONTH, AND THEY WON'T LET ME HAVE THEM BACK! AND BESIDES, YOU LOOK FINE!"
"LIAR! YOU SO RAPED ME!"
"DAMMIT, DUDE, I DID NOT!"
"SHUT UP!" Daphness Nohansen Hyrule screamed at the top of his lungs.
Link and Fado grew silent.
"Look, I don't care if any of you guys got raped! I'm just...shocked to see Link having sex with a...with another boy... Link, are you...?"
"NO! I told you, I just got raped!" Link replied.
"I dunno, you looked like you didn't mind too mu-" Daphness started, but was interrupted by Fado.
"DUDE! I didn't rape you! You're the guilty one, dude! You did that whole prostitution thing with me!"
"Yeah, well, you're just as guilty, 'cause you went along with it!" Link said.
Daphness was sick of the boys' bickering. He grabbed Link's clothes, grabbed Link by the hair, and began to drag him outside.
"OW!" Link yelped as he got grabbed. But, he got over the pain, and looked back over at a stunned, still rather angry Fado.
"I'LL SEE YOU IN COURT, DAMMIT!" our hero yelled, shaking his fist at the ex-sage.
Once Daphness and Link were outside, Daphness turned back into his boat form as Link got his clothes on.
"Ok... Let's pretend like this NEVER happened..." the King of Red Lions said, although he had secretly filmed the whole entire thing...
"Agreed," Link replied, stepping into the boat and hoisting the sail.
The two were off...off to see...MAKAR! DUN, DUN, dun!