A/N: I want to thank everyone for all your condolences and kind words. I also appreciate the great reviews and suggestions. The past two weeks have been a challenge and I hope I get by groove back. I need to get John back on his feet. So here go a couple of more chapters with more on the way!
Chapter 13: More News for Elizabeth
Dr. Weir entered Dr. Beckett's office in a rush coming face to face with the Scot, a look of wild desperation on her face. The Doctor, noticing Elizabeth's distress, took her by the upper arms in an effort to calm her down. "He's alright, lass," he said reassuringly locking eyes with the near-frantic woman. "We need to talk. Here...have a seat," He gently led Dr. Weir over to a chair and guided her into a sitting position.
"I came as quickly as I could. What's going on?" she asked still trying to catch her breath. She had a feeling she wasn't going to like what she heard and braced herself for the worst.
"The Major had another episode this morning. I believe he was having a night terror. He woke up screaming and...he...ah...was calling your name." The Doctor said hesitantly not sure how Dr. Weir would react.
"Calling my name?" Elizabeth repeated questioningly after the Doctor. She knitted her eyebrows and, tilting her head, gave the Doctor a questioning look, deep concern written all over her face.
The Doctor took a deep breath and letting it out slowly continued giving Elizabeth the news. "The Major was apparently so distressed by this last dream that he went into cardiac arrest. We almost lost him, Elizabeth," he said in a near whisper, his voice full of grief.
Dr. Weir paled and her eyes widened in disbelief. She was gripping the arms of the chair, knuckles now turning white. The Doctor gave her a few moments to digest the disturbing information.
"You mean he almost...died." It was a statement, not a question. The last word was a struggle to utter and came out in a croaked whisper. She slowly shook her head 'no' in denial looking down towards the floor, contemplating the implications.
"Aye, we had to resuscitate him," Dr. Beckett reported. Elizabeth looked up sharply at him. Reading Dr. Weir's body language he quickly added, "He's stable now and is recovering nicely."
Elizabeth stood up and looked towards the Major's bed. "May I see him?" she asked turning hopeful eyes to the Doctor.
"Of course...but just for a minute," Dr. Beckett reminded.
Dr. Weir nodded her understanding, blankly looking down the infirmary in the direction of the Major's bed. Dr. Beckett accompanied Dr. Weir to the Major's bedside figuring that his presence might make it a little easier on her.
She took in the still form on the bed. The Major was deathly pale and she noticed how sunken in his cheeks were. Gone was the angelic face she had remembered from the day before replaced with a pained expression. Even in unconsciousness, his face showed the stress of surviving the cardiac arrest.
She watched his chest rise and fall rhythmically with the aid of a ventilator that the Doctor had placed the Major on earlier to assist with his breathing. She took comfort in hearing the heart monitor chirping happily away to a steady beat. Her solemn mood was further set by the low lighting that the Doctor had ordered giving the infirmary an eerie glow.
"Let me know if you need anything, Elizabeth." With that, the Dr. Beckett went back to his office sensing that he should leave Elizabeth alone with the Major.
She couldn't believe how fragile he looked. His six foot plus frame seemed so small and thin. The vibrant man she knew so well looked as though he had lost weight to the point of getting swallowed up by the bed covers and pillows.
Elizabeth grasped the Major's hand closest to her. Raising it up, she cradled the limp appendage to her chest. She took her other hand and placed it on his forehead caressing it with her thumb. She smoothed back his hair noticing that his forehead was cool to the touch giving her more assurance of his stable condition.
Elizabeth leaned in close to the Major and whispered to him not intending to awaken him but only to console him in his slumber. "John. It's me, Elizabeth. I'm so sorry. I never should have shared my story with you. I know that you might have had a bad dream about me. I can't live with the thought that I brought this on."
She moved her hand down to cup his cheek. The major, seeming to sense the comfort, moved ever so slightly into Elizabeth's touch snuggling into the warmth of her hand. Elizabeth smiled meekly at his efforts. "I'm here for you and I promise I'm going to do all I can to make everything all right. I have to go now, but I'll be back later when you're awake." She hoped that, on some level, she was reaching him.
Elizabeth leaned further in towards the Major and brushed his forehead with a tiny kiss realizing how awfully attached she was getting to this man. Taking the hand she had been cradling in both of hers, she carefully placed it across the Major's abdomen giving it one last squeeze. One lone tear was glistening down her stricken face. Brushing the wayward moisture aside, she collected herself and headed back to the Doctor's office.
Elizabeth felt sick to her stomach. What had she done? Did she press the Major too far too fast? Was she the cause of this last episode? Is she responsible for making him worse by telling him about her rape?
As Dr. Weir stepped into the Doctor's office, she wavered on her feet. Dr. Beckett perceiving her state, moved in next to her catching Dr. Weir in his arms. He led her back to the chair she had been sitting in earlier and lowered her into it.
Flustered and embarrassed, Dr. Weir brushed the Doctor's arms away. "I'm alright, Doctor," she insisted quickly composing herself back to her business as usual tone. "I just can't help but wonder if this last episode was my fault."
"Now don't go blaming yourself, lass. It's the bloody post-traumatic stress. It's very unpredictable. There's no way of knowing what will trigger an episode. It's the nature of the beast."
"I hope you're right, Doctor. So...what am I supposed to tell the team? I was planning to talk to them about the Major's condition provided, of course, the Major agrees. I don't see that happening anytime soon. It's getting harder to keep this under wraps." Dr. Weir continued, "Dr. McKay keeps pestering me and quite frankly, I'm running out of excuses and I need do to something before any damaging rumors take hold."
"I agree," the Doctor concurred. "It would be best if they heard it from you rather than through the rumor mill."
"The only problem is going to be to convince the Major that we need to let McKay, Ford, and Teyla know what's going on. He feels that he has failed all of us and can't bring himself to face them."
"I'll see what I can do to influence that on my end, however, I believe we're going to have to rely on your negotiating skills once again," the Doctor suggested.
"If I can present this in a manner and explain to the Major that we won't have to be explicit about the abuse he suffered, then I might be able to convince him to let the team know about the post-traumatic stress."
"Aye...that sounds like a good plan to me," the Doctor agreed. "I have a feeling, as close as they have become, that once Rodney, Teyla, and Aiden know, they will want to intervene in some way. I would like to make sure they know what's at stake before we try to incorporate them into a treatment plan."
"I have no doubt they would want to help the Major but I agree that we must make sure that whatever we do is appropriate. We definitely don't want to further aggravate his condition," Elizabeth stated thoughtfully. "Any suggestions, Doctor?"
"I will do some research and check our databases to find out what I can about treatment modalities for victims of PTSD. Perhaps I can come up with a way to help the Major that we can all participate in. I understand that there are some group therapy techniques that we may be able to utilize with the team."
"Very well, Doctor. Please let me know what you find out and when John wakes up and is able to have visitors again." Dr. Weir got up from the chair getting ready to leave and allow the Doctor time to attend to his patient and his research.
"It may be a while before the Major is ready for visitors, but I will keep you posted."
"How long do you anticipate?" Dr. Weir inquired.
"Up to twenty-four hours...sooner with a little luck."
"Very well, let me know when I can come see him. Oh...and Doctor, please don't use the public comm system this time," she half-scolded with a small grin on her face.
The Doctor took a breath and grinned back. "I won't if you promise to be somewhere where I can easily reach you."
"It's a deal."
With that issue settled, Dr. Weir turned on her heels, said her goodbyes. She would do what it takes to get the Major back on his feet and mentally healthy again. Okay, so he had a setback, she was determined to not let this get in her way. She had made a promise to the Major to make everything alright; albeit, he was unconscious at the time, but she intended to keep that promise, nevertheless.
Notes: Thanks again to all my reviewers!
Furlings are Cats: Thanks for the tip, I tried it so hopefully, that will allow for more reviewers to post. I try to hear the actors in my head and even act it out so I think that helps with the characterizations.
Katrina O'Neill: Yep...its my first fic ever. Just cough it up to life experience plus I have read a lot of books over my lifespan. I have never taken formal creative writing so I write purely intuitively. I am a good technical writer so I'm sure some skill transferred over. Thanks and I hope you continue to enjoy the story.
Singing Wolf: In retrospect, I can see where I didn't set this up just right. Rodney and Ford know he's been injured but they don't know about the abuse he received, not even Teyla realizes how much the torture has affected him psychologically. Only Dr. Weir and Dr. Beckett are aware of the effects of the trauma on the Major. I didn't intend the rest of the crew to know about the PTSD and that's why Rodney suspects there is something more to the Major's predicament than what they already know. This is my first fic ever so your comments are really helping me. This was supposed to be short but its turning into a monster and I'm having a hard time keeping up the intensity. I should have started out smaller (LOL)!