Molgera...or Not
Link and Makar entered the boss room, which was empty, and, well, round... Link spotted something on the floor and picked it up. It was a note!
Dear Hero,
I am not here to fight you right now because Will and Grace is on, so I present to you my substitute--COCK!
--Molgera
"What the fuck?" Link said after reading the note.
"Something wrong, cock sucker?" Makar asked.
Link replied, "Yeah. It says Molgera is watching Will and Grace and can't fight the hero, which is me, for obvious reasons." The boy ran a hand through his hair arrogantly then continued. "Then it says that Molgera has a substitute named Cock..."
"What's a 'Molgera'?" Makar questioned.
Then suddenly, sand began to fill the room! Link yelped and jumped.
"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?"
Makar screamed and jumped into Link's ass crack to hide. The boy yelped and danced around.
"MAKAR, GET OUT OF MY ASS, YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT!"
"THERE'S NOWHERE ELSE TO HIDE!" Makar cried. "And besides, it's quite spacious in here, you know."
"MAKAR, I FUCKING SWEAR, I'M GONNA RIP YOU APART!" Link screamed.
"Oh, look! I found some drugs, a porn magazine, this thong thing, some chick's panties, some guy's stained boxers, more porn, a deflated sex doll, and some Cheerios..." Makar said.
"Look, just GET OUT, Makar! There's nothing to be scared of in here! It's just sand, and nothing-"
All of a sudden, A GIANT PENIS CAME OUT OF THE SAND! IT WAS NONE OTHER THAN COCK!
Link gasped.
"It's...a giant...penis?"
Cock let out a battle cry and spewed Fruits Loops.
"OH, SHIT, HE'S GOT FRUIT LOOPS!" Link cried.
Cock dived into the sand and came back up again. Then it shot some Fruit Loops at Link, hitting him right in the face!
"AH, IT BURNS!"
"Kill it!" Makar squealed.
"HOW THE HELL DO YOU KILL A GIANT PENIS THAT SHOOTS FRUIT LOOPS?"
"I don't know! You'll think of SOMETHING!"
Link decided to put his new Hookshot to use. The boy pulled it out of his ass crack, and shot it at the giant sex organ. It had no affect!
Cock dived back into the sand, then it peeped out a little and fired more Fruit Loops. Link dodged the cereal, shot at Cock's head with the Hookshot.
Success! Cock screamed in agony and was temporarily paralyzed. Link took this opportunity to slash it with his sword. Unfortunately, after a few slashes, Cock regained control of itself and smacked Link across the room. The poor boy screamed and hit the wall.
Cock roared, then flew out of the sand and started firing more Fruit Loops at Link! Link screamed and tried to escape, but he ended up getting hit. Cock dived back into the sand.
"Dammit, out of all things, why a giant penis? WHY?"
"Maybe this is a sign that you masturbate too much, and the Goddesses are punishing you," Makar said.
"I DON'T MASTURBATE, YOU ASSHOLE!"
"Yes, you do."
"NO, I DON'T!"
"Then why do you have a copy of Self Gratification for Dummies in here?"
"Um... You're...hallucinating?"
"Oh, yeah, sure. RIGHT."
"OH, FORGET IT, I HAVE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO!" Link said, turning his attention back to Cock, who was now poking its head out of the sand once again.
Link fired the Hookshot at Cock, demonstrating perfect aim. Once again, the creature became paralyzed, and Link slashed it. This time, he made sure to run away quickly after a few good hits.
Cock flew out of the sand and started firing more cereal, which Link dodged. The creature went back into the sand, so Link waited...
But suddenly, Cock appeared right next to Link, and knocked him against the wall again! Link screamed and groaned upon impact.
"Makar, a little HELP would be nice!"
"Huh, you say something?" Makar said.
Link just growled, winced, and got to his feet. Cock was flying around and firing more Fruit Loops, but they did not hit Link. The creature retreated deep beneath the sand. Link waited, ready for anything that Cock might do...
The massive sex organ peeped out of the sand. Right away, Link fired his Hookshot at it for the third time. The same thing happened, so Link proceeded to slash Cock with his sword.
The creature let out a death cry and exploded in a puff of Fruit Loops! VICTORY WAS LINK'S!
Link cheered and danced NSYNC style. Then he noticed that instead of a Heart Piece or something gay like, that, there was a brand new tunic and hat laying in the sand! The boy ran to it, causing Makar to fall out of his ass. Link put the clothes on.
"Ah, that feels better..."
Makar picked up some Fruit Loops and munched on them. After a moment, he said, "Well, shouldn't I like, return the power to the Master Sword or something?"
Link looked at him.
"Yeah, whatever..."
And with that, Makar and Link began to play a duet of Turn Me On.
The Master Sword began to glow and shake...
"WOAH!" Link exclaimed.
THE POWER OF THE MASTER SWORD HAD RETURNED! THE BLADE COULD NOW KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS!
"Heh heh...cool..." Link said, twirling it around. He dropped it, but quickly picked it up again.
Makar's eyes glowed red.
"GET OUT NOW..." he said in a demonic voice.
"Huh! Gladly!" Link snorted, walking towards the cyclone.
Makar started munching on Fruit Loops again just as Link stepped into the little tornado and was whisked away...