A/N: Hello and thanks again for the wonderful and helpful reviews. Life has been a bit hectic, lately, so I haven't been able to write as much as I'd like. I hvae two more chapters in the works after this so I hope to post again very soon. I enjoyed writing the Kavanagh smack down. I'm hoping to fill some of the holes and questions you all have over the next two chapters. I get real inspiration from your reviews especially when I feel stuck so bear with me if this gets a little boring and bogged down in details.
RaK: Don't be embarrassed! You are right. I did mean to write BVD's. That was a typo and you were the first to catch it! Thanks.
Chapter 17: Plans
Dr. Weir made it back to her quarters without further incident. She was still fuming from her encounter with Kavanagh leaving her with a bad taste in her mouth. She shouldn't have let him get to her. What nerve he had suggesting that Sgt. Bates take the Major's place. Entering her little piece of home, she sat at her desk and putting the cards down, put her head in her hands and rubbed her eyes with her fingers. It had been a long week and she was beginning to feel some effects of the wear.
Perhaps she was being too sensitive to the Major's situation. Maybe, just maybe, she was allowing her personal feelings to cloud her better judgment. She hoped that she hadn't worn her concerns on her sleeve for all of Atlantis to see.
How did she really feel about John? She certainly had respect for him and came to rely on his input. Was there something more to it than that? She could admit to herself that over the past few weeks, they had become what she would categorize as close friends. She had surprised herself by the reaction she had to his almost dying for a second time and how much more deeply it had hit home than the last time. It seemed like this was becoming routine with him.
Seeing the Major in such a vulnerable state tugged at her heart strings. Would she be able to gain back the ground she had made with him earlier in the week after this last episode, especially since the nightmare he had appeared to involve her?
Elizabeth was beginning to feel guilty and wondered if she hadn't been too hasty in sharing her personal experiences with him. She also felt guilty about sending Teyla away to her people so quickly. Teyla had shared the experience with the Major and she was probably the one person who was closest to understanding what he went through and might have helped the Major recover more quickly.
She hoped the Doctor had found some research that could help involve the team in the Major's treatment. The "what ifs" continued swirling around and around in her head beginning to weigh heavily on her conscious. Perhaps she should have involved Ford and McKay from the beginning and she prayed she had not made a mistake in shutting them out. She wondered how they would react to the news of the Major's bout with PTSD. She hoped the team would understand why she and the Doctor were hesitant in revealing the Major's abuse.
She looked at the homemade greeting cards on her desk. Perhaps they hold the key in convincing the Major to allow his friends to help him. She was formulating a plan in her mind holding an ace or two up her sleeve. Kavanaugh was becoming a problem. That should be enough to motivate her to get John back on his feet again.
That's it! Realization of how obvious the solution was suddenly hit her. It was staring her right in the face. Yes, she should have no problem convincing the Major that he needed to get back into the swing of things.
With renewed determination, Dr. Weir set off to contact the team members, calling an emergency meeting for next day. She had a comm patched to Teyla on the mainland and asked her to be ready to be picked up by Ford in the morning. Teyla was more than willing to return to Atlantis stating how anxious she was to hear of the Major's condition and visit with him.
Dr. Weir then contacted Lt. Ford about the meeting and also officially informed him of being in charge of the team until the Major was able to return to duty. The young man was somewhat hesitant, at first, but Dr. Weir assured him it would be a temporary measure and that she would back him up. Suspecting that the young man felt he would be betraying his CO if he accepted, she reiterated her total confidence in the young officer. The Lieutenant accepted eagerly once convinced that this is what the Major would want.
Rodney was next to be contacted. He gave Dr. Weir some grief about it being about time that they were told something and that what did she think they were chopped liver? It would be like Rodney to use a food analogy. She finally convinced him that all would be revealed during the meeting and that she did not think of him as chopped liver but that mutton did cross her mind once or twice thinking of Rodney's girth. Dr. McKay was not amused insisting that they should have been involved from the beginning since they were a team or so he thought.
It was a full five minute before she was able to end her conversation with Rodney. As soon as she was off the comm, she received a hail from Dr. Beckett.
"Dr. Weir, it's me, Carson," a distinctive accent called.
"Is everything all right, Doctor?" Dr. Weir asked having learned to expect just about anything at this point.
"Everything's fine. In fact, I thought you'd like to know that the Major's awake and he's asking for you."
"How is he doing?"
"He had a wee bit of an episode, but he came out of it fairly quickly. He was convinced that you had been injured but I finally got him to understand that it was all a bad dream. I was able to calm him down enough to explain what was happening to him. He seems to have a good grasp of what he's up against."
"I'm glad to hear that, Doctor. May I visit with him now?"
"Of course and I also have the results of my research to share with you. It looks promising."
"Good to know. I'm anxious to hear what you found out. I'm on my way., Weir out." Dr. Weir was half way out of her quarters when she remembered the greeting cards and returned to retrieve them from her desk. She would be needing them.
Dr. Weir found the Doctor in his office. "You can go on back, Elizabeth. He's waiting for you," he said with a smile.
Dr. Weir took notice of the Doctor's chirpiness and took that as a good sign. He seemed very pleased with himself. "Thank you, Doctor."
Feeling more optimistic herself, Dr. Weir headed in the direction of Major Sheppard's bedside. She smiled brightly as she approached his slumbering form. At least he appeared to be snoozing. He looked peaceful again with his eyes closed and a relaxed look on his face. Elizabeth wasn't quite sure if she should disturb the Major and turned to go back to the Doctor's office.
Halfway through her turn a voice said, "Have a seat." It didn't belong to the Doctor. Elizabeth jumped about six inches out of her skin almost dropping the greeting cards.
"How did you know it was me?" she asked taken aback in a half scolding tone
Opening his eyes to just a slit, he answered, "I've learned a thing or two hanging out in the Air Force over the past few years."
"I'm sure you have developed some special skills, Major; however, I don't expect that you would use them on me." Dr. Weir sat on the stool that Dr. Beckett had occupied earlier in the day hoping that this would help slow her heart rate and get the flutters our of her stomach.
"Yes, ma'am," The Major drawled in mock respect. He smiled at Elizabeth a bemused, impish look on his face obviously pleased with his stealthy accomplishment.
"Well, I'm certainly glad to see you in a better mood," Elizabeth smirked back.
Major Sheppard suddenly sobered, "Actually...I was worried sick about you. At least, that is before I realized I was just having a bad dream."
"The Doctor told me you had another episode."
"I guess you already know that I almost bought the farm?"
"I'm so sorry, John. This must be very difficult for you. Every time you're in a life or death situation, a little piece of me goes through it with you."
"I don't know what I'd do if anyone ever hurt you. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I failed to protect you."
"John, I think you are internalizing this way too much."
"How can I internalize you're safety, the safety of Atlantis, too much?" He raised his voice in frustration.
Elizabeth was becoming aware of and concerned with how quickly the Major's moods were beginning to swing. "John, we're all in this together. The weight of our situation should not rest on your shoulders alone. We're a team and we all have a hand in running Atlantis and making it work."
The Major sat in silence for a few seconds digesting and mulling over Dr. Weir's impassioned words.
"I'm just..." He couldn't get the words out.
"Just what, John?"
"I just feel so...scared. I felt helpless and I couldn't do a damn thing to help you." He was starting to get agitated. It made Elizabeth wonder if she should go get the Doctor, fearing that John might be going into a disassociative state.
He finally seemed to snap out of it after a few tense seconds. "I just needed to make sure you were alright." He looked at Elizabeth hard, searching her face for something. Was it acceptance? Approval? Validation? Reciprocation of his feelings? Elizabeth couldn't quite tell.
She settled on reassurance, "I'm okay, John and thanks to you, so are many others. It was you that made the decision to bring the Athosians to safety. It's you that brings the team back in one piece. You're the bravest, most courageous, good-hearted person I've ever known. I always feel safe with you."
The Major seemed to accept Dr. Weir's words. No one else could make him feel at ease like she did, except maybe Lieutenant Ford or Teyla, most days. "I just don't like feeling so helpless and out of control."
"No one does. I feel that way every time you and the team step through the gate. It's a risk we have to take. It's what we're here for. We can't let fear stop us from moving forward." Dr. Weir hoped she didn't sound like she was lecturing.
"I know," John whispered.
"Dr. Beckett has a treatment plan in place to help you get back on your feet. It involves utilizing the team to assist with your rehabilitation and healing. But you're going to have to trust us."
John took in a breath and let it out shakily. "I don't now if I'm ready."
"I know that this is a very frightening time for you, but you need to know that you have our full support. Please let us help you."
"I want to, Elizabeth, more than anything but...I don't know, I just feel so...ashamed." There. He finally got it out. The problem had been identified.
"I know John. I wrestled with those same feelings after I was assaulted."
John looked at Elizabeth, compassion and identification etched in his features upon being reminded of her own ordeal. John swallowed hard. "I guess its going to take some time to sort this out."
"We'll get through this together, John" Dr. Weir remembered the greeting cards and thought this would be the ideal time to pull out one of her aces.
Offering them to the Major, she said, "By the way, these are for you."
"What are they?" the Major asked truly perplexed.
"Get well cards."
"Get well cards?" he mirrored now curious, reaching for the cards.
"Yes...from the team."
"The team?" he asked still a little confused.
This was starting to get old. "Yes...your team. Lt. Ford asked me to give them to you."
"Oh..." was all that the Major could manage this time.
"Go on, open them." Dr. Weir urged.
The Major took the first card form the top and ripped it open. There was a picture of a puddle jumper on the front obviously taken with a digital camera. Inside the card read:
"These things don't fly themselves, you know. Get well soon!"
It was signed by Lt. Ford. John chuckled despite himself at the obviously homemade sentiment. Dr. Weir observed the Major's face as it displayed curiosity, wonder, then of little of his old sense of humor, and finally a look of appreciation. The Major passed the card to Elizabeth as he went on to the next card.
The next one had a picture of Dr. Zelenka and two of his lab staff. Ford must have recruited them to join in on his little Hallmark moment. This card read:
"We heard you were under the weather. We hope this brightens your day. Get well soon!"
John looked back at the picture and smiled. The last card had a picture of, of all things, McKay's lab. It read:
The lab we're behind in.
Project's are piling.
Your gene we could use.
For data compiling.
Get well soon!
John rolled his eyes. He made a mental note to himself to remind McKay to keep out of the greeting card business and stick to astrophysics. He handed the card to Elizabeth. She read the card and snorted. Despite her attempts to contain herself, she started giggling. Her laugh was infectious and the Major, never able to resist her laughter, joined in.
After a good few seconds of laughing at the absurdity of McKay's get well card both finally managed to contain their mirth. The tension that had permeated the air a few minutes before had long since dissipated.
Elizabeth smiled widely at John who reflected the expression. "Now didn't that feel good?"
John had to shake his head in agreement. "It always feels good when you're with me." Elizabeth tilted her head in wonderment. She had never heard John say anything like that to her before. She took it as a sign of his progress.
Taking advantage of the good feelings, Elizabeth decided to tell him her plans. "John, I've called an emergency meeting for tomorrow with Dr. McKay, Lt. Ford, and Teyla to discuss your condition and how they can contribute to your treatment. I know you don't feel ready but its time we let them in on what's going on. We owe them that much."
"You're going to do it whether I agree or not, aren't you?" John wasn't angry he was just confirming what he already knew. Once Elizabeth made a decision, she rarely retracted it.
"Yes, John, I am."
"That doesn't mean I have to cooperate."
"No, it doesn't; however, it would be in your best interest."
"Yeah, my best interest," he stated a little defeated. John thought about Dr. Weir's proposal. He had a thought. "Is Teyla back on Atlantis"
"Not yet. Lt. Ford's picking her up tomorrow morning."
"Is she alright? I never got to see her since she was already gone when I woke up from surgery."
"She's doing very well. Being with her people did her a lot of good. I'm sorry you didn't get to see her right away. We thought about protecting you first before bombarding you with too many variables until we knew you were going to be okay. If anybody, she would have a greater understanding of what you have gone through."
"I'd like to see her."
"You will and she is anxious to help you." Sensing that this was a good time to pull our her other ace, Dr. Weir continued,"...and John, there is one more thing you should know about. I was confronted by Kavanagh this morning. Word is starting to get out about you, rumors actually. Anyway, he proposed that he and two other scientists feel that we should put someone else in charge of off-world activity and the military contingent on Atlantis until you are back in commission."
Major Sheppard's eyes went wide and then he knitted his eyebrows. "He did what? I don't believe that SOB. Who did he suggest you put in charge?"
"Sgt. Bates." If this didn't get a rise out of the Major, then Elizabeth didn't know what would. It seemed to be having the effect she was banking on. Was that the old Major Sheppard she knew and loved so well coming through?
"Bates? Bates?" he exclaimed raising his voice in sarcasm. You've got to be kidding me. Tell me you didn't put him in charge. You didn't dare put him in charge did you?"
"Well Major, Atlantis is vulnerable with you out of commission, right now," Elizabeth crooned.
"That tears it." The Major started moving aside the covers and tried to climb out of the hospital bed. This was having a way better effect than Dr. Weir had hoped for but wondered if she hadn't gone just a tad too far.
She placed a gentle hand on his chest. "Whoa...slow down cowboy. You aren't exactly in any shape to walk out of here, just yet. Relax Major, I placed Lt. Ford in charge. I need Bates to remain head of security."
"Well...alright then. Make sure you have Markham and Stackhouse back him up," the Major strongly suggested.
"I'm sure Lt. Ford is going to need to consult with you and keep you abreast of operations while you're still out. I'm sure you will be wanting to meet with him on a regular basis."
"Yes...that would be good. When do we start my physical therapy?" he asked a fire still burning in his golden green eyes. He wasn't that fond of Sgt. Bates and he was even less fond of Kavanagh. At least, he could trust Sgt. Bates but he wasn't going to leave Elizabeth and the whole of Atlantis in the hands of someone other than one of his team members who knew the drill.
"Is tomorrow too soon?"
"Not soon enough."
"Great, I guess that's settles it."
"Damn straight."
At that moment Dr. Beckett came by to remind Elizabeth that the Major needed his rest. He had heard the Major's outburst and also wanted to make sure he wasn't having another episode.
"I think we're all done here, Doctor," Elizabeth informed him. "I'll see you later, Major."
"Thank you." he fired.
"Don't mention it," Elizabeth returned.
With that, Elizabeth turned on her heels quite pleased with herself and satisfied with the outcome of her visit. She returned with Dr. Beckett to review his research and the treatment plan he had formulated. Dr. Weir was impressed with the Doctor's findings and trusting his instincts gave his treatment plan her final blessing.
The rest of the evening passed without any particular drama. The Doctor had each of the Major's IV's removed so that he could begin weaning him off of the pain medication and start him on his liquid diet. The Major continued fussing about Kavanagh to the Doctor and wondered out loud who the scientist thought he was. Doctor Beckett merely chuckled at his agitation. At least he wasn't having an episode and Dr. Beckett was happy to see some of the Major getting some of his fighting spirit back.
He had to hand it to Elizabeth. She was masterful at getting a rise out of the Major. He hoped like hell that it stuck this time starting him on a more permanent road to recovery.