Monochrome Memories

Link entered Ganon's Tower (Heh, I've been calling it a castle, when I just found out that it's actually a tower...), only to find that it was a lava-filled chasm. There was a platform in the middle of the room, with four rope bridges leading off of it. Straight ahead was a heavy door, which was locked or something. Link noticed that at the end of each bridge sat a smaller door.

Link decided to go into the closest door to him on the left. He walked down the path to the platform, and turned to walk across the bridge, which, uh...he did. Our hero entered the room...

The place he entered reminded him of Dragon Roost Cavern. It was all lava-filled and stuff... Aided by his Wind Waker Guidebook, Link walked to a ledge on the left.

And you know what? Link did stuff. That's right -- STUFF. I don't feel like writing about the stuff he did, but before he knew it, Link was standing before a door. A door to a monochrome Gohma, to be exact. Link would have to refight her, but, he didn't know that yet...

The room Link entered was black and white, and Link recognized it as Gohma's room.

"What the hell? Oh, my goddesses..." he muttered realizing where he was. "SHIT, I'M IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE! NOOOOOOO! IT CAN'T BE!" Link started screaming.

Suddenly, a black and white Gohma heard the shouts and reared up from the lava. Our hero stared at her, wide-eyed. Then he glared.

"YOU FUCKING BITCH! I THOUGHT I KILLED YOU!"

Gohma did not reply; she smacked him with one of her claws. Link flew across the room and hit the wall. HARD. He groaned and got to his feet. Then he realized something...

"STUPID BUG! YOU CAN'T BEAT ME! I HAVE THE MASTER SWORD! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS? I BETCHA DON'T, 'CAUSE YOU DON'T GOT NO BRAIN, AND YOU IS STUPID! THE MASTER SWORD IS THE BLADE TO REPEL ALL EVIL, AND WITH IT, I WILL SO TOTALLY KILL YOU!"

Link reached into his hilt to get the Master Sword, only to find his old Hero's Sword in its place...

"Wha...what?" he uttered, staring at the non-magical blade he held in his hand. Link searched for his other weapons, like his arrows and stuff, but only found the items he had when he fought Gohma before...

"Oh, shit..."

But then another memory came to Link -- how he defeated Gohma before. Link recalled the hole Grappling Hook thing... If it worked the first time, he was sure as hell that it would work again.

Our hero looked up and saw a grey, memory-ish version of Valoo's tail hanging from a hole in the ceiling. Link pulled out his Grappling Hook and sort of lassoed the tail as he had done before. Our hero swung to the other side of the room and managed to land somewhat gracefully (he stumbled a bit though.). He turned around and watched as that large hunk of rock and stuff fell and landed on Gohma, cracking her shell a bit. Link prepared to fire his Grappling Hook again as the creature pushed the rock back into place. At last, our hero fired, but his aim was off, and he missed. Gohma took this opportunity to smack Link with one of her claws.

"YOU PIECE OF SHIT, I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!" Link cried angrily as he took another try at getting Valoo's tail with the grappling hook.

This time was successful! Link swung back to the side of the room he had started from, and the rock once again hit Gohma, cracking her shell more still.

Link remembered that one more blow to the shell would break it off, and then he would have to fight Gohma without her protection...and, NO, I don't mean protection as in condoms!

Gohma put the hunk of land back in its place and turned to give Link the 'evil eye'. Link just gave her the finger and did that thing with the Grappling Hook again.

Good aim! Link's weapon managed to wrap itself around the enemy's tail. Our hero swung, once again, to the other side of the room.

The rock fell and broke Gohma's shell off. The giant bug roared angrily and faced Link. Our hero smirked and launched the Grappling Hook at her eye, which pulled her close to him and stunned her. He slashed at the eyeball with his lame ass Hero's Sword. Once she recovered from the short-lived paralysis, Gohma drew back, trying to keep her eye away from Link. She hit at him with one of her claws, but missed by a hair. She roared and struck again, this time knocking our young hero to the ground with a scream. Link recovered quickly, however, and used his Grappling Hook to paralyze her once more. It worked! He slashed at the eye with his sword, and at last, the creature was re-vanquished.

Link was suddenly transported back to the main room of Ganon's Tower. He checked his pockets -- all his weapons were there! Everything was back in color. Link ventured down the next bridge and into a new room.

This one was pretty much a rip-off of the Forbidden Woods, 'cause it was all plant-ish. Link crossed this new place and went into the boss room...

Like the one before it, this one was black and white, and to his dismay, Link found that he posessed only the weapons he had when he fought Kalle Demos the first time. Not too surprisingly, the giant plant was already there. Link remembered what to do to kill this boss, but a better idea came to mind...

Link remembered that he had a gun kept up his ass since he was like, 5 or something. Figuring that it was still in there, Link reached up his crack and pulled out the weapon.

"Austa la vista, baby!" he said as he began to shoot the living fuck out of Kalle Demos.

The plant exploded. Link cocked the gun and cackled evilly as he once again found himself in the main room of Ganon's Tower.

It was time to head into the next room. Link walked down yet another rope bridge and entered an Earth Temple themed area. He completed all the puzzle stuff, shooting every enemy that opposed him. At long last, he entered the boss room to once again fight Jahalla.

It was incredibly difficult, indeed. Link had the difficult task of standing there, naked, as he watched a Medli memory thing refight a Jahalla memory thing. The battle was over. Medli had won, but Link preferred to think that he had won.

Link mysteriously found himself in the tower's main room once more. It was time for the last memory. He walked into the Wind Temple themed room, completed the puzzle and shit, and entered the lair of Cock and Molgera.

Cock flew out of the gray sand (After all, this was just a replay of events, so everything was in black, white and gray.), roared, and started firing Fruit Loops at Link, which the young boy dodged. He took his gun and shot Cock several times.

Link was the victor of the trial. Well, I guess that doesen't make much sense, 'cause who else could win? Well, there was Ganondorf, but you get my point. Link stared at the big door that was locked. 4 images of the bosses he fought that were engraved in the door suddenly lit up. The door sort of exploded, and Link was free to venture into the next room, which, as you know, is the Phantom Ganon puzzle...