Authors' Note: If you have any questions that need explaining…don't ask them. This story is not meant to make sense, so if it doesn't, we've done our job.

Remember, asterisks are used to show when one author leaves off and another picks up!

Thomas "Sconeboy": Your chapter, if you decide to visit fanfiction.net. Sorry, but most likely, you won't be getting hold of the original notebook. It's sacred…it's tattered…too precious to take to Clark now.

Chapter Five

In his lair…

"Mmmmm…scones, scones, scones…mmmm…scones, scones, scones…"

Voldemort looked down at Wormtail in disgust. The rat was conducting some strange form of ritual, honoring the Scone God, Magbee. The Dark Lord shook his head and cleared his throat, making his disturbing servent jump.

"M-m-master?"

"Ah, Wormtail. What, Pray tell, are you doing?"

"I-uh-was praying, m-master. D-do you object, m-my Lord?"

Voldemort glared. Wormtail cowered. The Dark Lord sat down next to his frightened slave and said, rather stiffly,

"What exactly is this Scone God, Wormtail?"

**********

Voldemort breathed in deeply and let our a low hum. "Mmmmm...scones, scones, scones... mmmmm...scones, scones, scones..."

**********

*After a painstaking two weeks, which consisted of a lecture from Snape, threats from Snape, future detentions from Snape, and Cruciatus threats from Snape, Harry, Hermione, and Ron were all set to board the Hogwarts Express.

"Now, be good at Hogwars, dears," said Mrs. Weasley worridly, hugging each of them in turn, tears pouring down her face.

"Mum, please, don't...cry," said Ron desperately, turning bright red at Hermione's puzzlement.

"With the Dark Lord back and all..." said Mrs. Weasley quietly.

"We'll be carefull," said Ginny firmly. "Bye, Mom, and Dad."

They all boarded the train, waved goodbye, and the train started chugging out of the station. Harry watched Mr. and Mrs. Weasley's faces dissolve into a rainbow of colors as Hogwarts Express sped through the Scottish countryside.

Harry followed Ginny into the last compartment, which was occupied by Neville Longbottom and Luna Lovegood. They both gave Harry and Ginny grins.

"How's it going?" asked Harry, settling down. Neville was stroking a medium-sized healthy green plant locked up in a glass case.

"It's my Mimbulus Mimbletonia," said Neville proudly. "It's grown a lot during the summer. Want to see what it can do?"

Harry stared. "Uhh, no thanks..." he said, remembering only too well the stink sap incident last year.

Harry waited for the cart to come, desperately wanting something to eat. When a knock came, he bounded to the door and opened it to the snarling face of Draco Malfoy.

"Hello Potty," said Malfoy, smirking. Harry was about to retort when he noticed that Crabbe and Goyle weren't with him.

"Where are your orcs...I mean...henchment?" he said mockingly.

Draco looked around in alarm, and Harry saw, for the first time, fear in his eyes.

"May I come in?" he said urgently.

Ron and Hermione both gave him suspicious flances as they strode back into the compartment from the Prefect meeting.

"Please," Draco whispered urgently. Harry hastily moved aside. Draco yelled, "sttupid idiots!", and came into the room with Harry, slamming the door behind him.

"What the--" started Ron.

"Shut up Weasley!" said Draco hurriedly. "I put the fainting curse on Crabbe and Goyle, but it won't hold long..."

"What IS it?" said Harry.

"My...father...my father...he has gone mad..."

Hermione snorted.

"I don't mean THAT mad...I mean, he's gone insane. The Dark Lord...tortured him because..."

Everyone went deadly silent.

"He...didn't...follow his order...and now...he's at Saint Mungo's...forever."

Harry stared at him calmly. "Weren't you aware that the Dark Lord has done that to countless people?"

"I never...thought that it would happen to...me..!"

Neville nodded, staring at the floor.

"I just wanted you to know that...I'm on your side."

Harry looked at him, surprised.

"But please...don't tell anyone," said Draco. "I'll...go now."

And slowly trudging our the door, he quietly shut it.

"D'you reckon he was telling the truth?" said Ron.

"Yeah, it was in the Daily Prophet that Lucius Malfoy had gone insane from an unknown cause," said Hermione.

The train stopped, and the young wizards got out, still mulling over the events of June.

*All the students hurried towards the carriages that were waiting to take them up to the castle.

"Harry, Hermione, Ron!"

A cyclopean figure emerged from behind a few carriages.

"Hagrid!" shouted all three in unison.

"You're ter hurry to the castle. Dumbledore's waitin' fer you three. He wants ter give you some special directions or information, or som'tin like that. Says it will be necessary this year."

**********

Outside Dumbledore's office, the three nervously paced. The same thought passed through all three minds. What was so important that Dumbledore was delaying the feast? Could it be news of Voldemort?

"Do you think he's doing to warn us about something?" asked Harry.

"I don't know, I just don't...Professor Dumbledore!"

"Please come into my office," said Dumbledore calmly.

All three enter the room, which was full or its usual odd assortment of various shining items.

"I have called you to my office because I would like you to...take care of someone this year. That person is Draco Malfoy. He, like, Neville, now has a parent in St. Mungo's. I would like for you to befriend him because we now know who's side he is on."

This was not, of course, the real reason behind the forging of this friendship. He wanted to find out all Draco knew about Voldemort's plans.

*Harry said, "So you want us to be spies or something?"

Dumbledore sighed. "In a way, but I want you to be friends..."

Ron made a face.

"Try the best you can."

Hermione nodded. "If he cooperates and is willing to."

Dumbledore looked at his clock. "There is one minute to the start of the feast. I suggest you run."

"What about you?" said Harry, starting for the door.

"I have ways to get there..." said Dumbledore mysteriously.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione sprinted to the Great Hall and stopped outside the door. Professor McGonnagal had just placed the stool with the hat on the ground. Dumbledore was already in his seat, and he was motioning Harry, Ron, and Hermione to sit down. They quietly ran to their seats and stared up at the hat as it broke into song.

The war is here, the time has come,
The Dark Lord's risen again,
And now Hogwarts must stand up tall,
And band together as friends.

So I call you know to lay down your grudges,
And band together with enemies and friends,
Because if Hogwarts School is divided,
Then this school will surely come to an end.

So with this in mind, let the sorting begin,
Put this ancient cap on your mind,
I'll look inside and read it,
And put you in the best house I can find.

I might place you in Gryffindor,
Where the noble-hearted and brave dwell,
Or Hufflepuff might be your house,
If you're loyal and work very well.

Yet Ravenclaw might be your calling,
If wit and brains are what you possess,
But Slytherin could be your true house,
If you have cunning and ambition, and nothing less.

So try me on! don't be afraid,
I'm just an innocent little hat,
The house that I'll put you in,
Will be your home, I can assure you that.

"Now, if you would please step up to the stool and put on the Sorting Hat as I call your name," said Professor McGonnagal. "Amor, Leslie."

"Hufflepuff!"

"Beamont, Juan."

"Ravenclaw!"

"Damon, Matt."

"Gryffindor!"

"Englewood, Seth."

"Ravenclaw!"

"Fool, Ashton."

"Gryffindor!"

"Fool, Ashley."

"Gryffindor!"

"Newman, David."

"Slytherin!"

"Radcliffe, Daniel."

"Slytherin!"

"Sadist, Bessie."

"Slytherin!"

"Tartuffe, James"

"Hufflepuff!"

"Watson, Emma."

"Ravenclaw!"

And it went on.

**********

Harry looked around the room and sighed. The Gryffindor Common Room was truly home. Finny, the new Gryffindor Prefect, was still taking the new first years to the dormitories along with Colin Creevey, the other Gryffindor Prefect.

"...and the girls dormitories are to your left and the boys dormitories are on your right." Ginny finished. She sighed and dropped into a chair. She jumped right back up with a shriek. "S-Sorry, Harry!"

"No problem, Gin!" Harry grinned. He turned to see Ron laughing at the step of the stairs.

**********

Draco sighed and sat down in his favorite armchair. Although he disliked the thought of returning to Hogwarts, he could not let this chance pass up. And, so far, everything was working as planned. He laughed; those three idiots actually believed him!

All his life he had lived submissively under his father. Now, with him talking to bedsheets and socks, Draco finally had a chance to rise above his father and become more worthy to the Dark Lord, especially after his fahter's grave mistake...

Draco never cared much for his father. He congratulated himself on his brilliant act back on the Hogwarts train. Now, he could spy for Voldemort, and his pathetic father would no longer give orders to him. Draco lazily ate from his own secret stash of Honeyduke's chocolates. Life just keeps getting better...

A/N: Review! Not much else to say.