Tenchu: Sins of Shadows
Upload Date: June 2, 2005
Chapter 9: Bleed Like Me
Rikimaru and Ayame entered the castle grounds quietly, slipping in through one of the castle's story windows. They both were rather quiet, neither saying much. Ayame hadn't said anything when she had finally met up with Rikimaru outside the forest. She was hurt no doubt, but she decided at the time it wasn't best to argue over it. They couldn't forget the roles they had, their duty.
Silently, they slipped into Lord Gohda's study where he was discussing something with Counsel Sekiya about the condition of one of the villages near the border.
The room was beautiful, with shelves and shelves of countless books and scrolls, both old and new. Large colorful vases rested on mahogany cherry wood pedestals, beautiful branches of flowers expertly arranged, a beautiful showcase of ikebana. A niche on the back wall held various family swords and weapons, ranging from various sized katanas and wakizashis, to small daggers and tantos. On the wall beside it rested an array of several expertly made spears, the metal tips impossibly sharp. The cushions on the floor were made of the finest materials, extremely soft when knelt upon. Lord Gohda's study, like almost the entire castle, was truly a work of art.
Standing beside the window, looking rather bored from the expression on her face and clad in her usual kunoichi's kimono, was Tama. She looked back at them, turning away from the window, her signature mysterious smile suddenly appearing on her lips as soon as she saw the two, just like the time she had caught them in the garden. She was dressed, as usual, in a dark kunoichi's kimono with a contrasting obi, arms folded across her chest
"We have brought the scrolls as you have asked," Rikimaru said, proffering the aged scrolls to Lord Gohda, after which he gave a small nod to Tama. Ayame sensed a weary note in the way he spoke, though she could feel him trying to hide it. That same feeling of worry that had followed her from the strange forest sparked inside her, but quickly she blew it out as she acknowledged Tama. She would talk to him later, she promised herself. But she had to keep her mind on the mission...
Lord Gohda nodded, a smile on his face. "I am grateful to know that you two can always be trusted." He placed the scrolls in front of him, Tama walking over to get a closer look. "Tama is here, for she has an interest in such ancient artifacts." Tama nodded as confirmation, and then looked back down at the still sealed scrolls, waiting as patient as she could.
Ayame and Rikimaru made their way closer to the table, watching as Lord Gohda carefully broke the seal on the first of the three scrolls.
"Careful...I can just see that these are much older than I thought...who knows what sudden exposure to air might do to them?" Tama whispered, her voice urgent and excited at the same time. "Wait! The corner's bending!" She sucked in her breath and then looked at everyone around her, staring back at her in return, amused expressions on their faces. Tama then calmed down after that, keeping her excited sighs to herself.
Lord Gohda unrolled the first scroll as carefully as he could, trying to prevent another bout of nervousness from Tama. Immediately they all leaned in, almost clocking their heads against each other, trying to see what was written on it.
A thick silence hung in the air as they all stared at the foreign characters scrawled on the thick paper.
"It certainly does not look like anything I've ever seen before," Sekiya muttered, his voice breaking the puzzled stillness.
Lord Gohda sighed, not saying anything as he reached for the second scroll. It was the same, filled with symbols that were so unlike the normal legible, familiar characters they were used to reading from important war messages and books. They were so foreign, so unusual. The Last Scroll was no different; its aged paper just the same as the first two, covered with those indecipherable signs.
"Well..." Lord Gohda finally said, still looking down at the scrolls. It was as though he was waiting for the characters to decipher themselves, to reveal their meanings, just by staring at them, and through sheer willpower.
Ayame gave a nervous laugh. "So we went all the way to that creepy forest just to get scrolls that we can't even read?"
"It seems so..." Lord Gohda replied wearily, still not taking his eyes off the spread rolls of paper. He sighed.
"Wait...I think I might be able to help..." Tama spoke up. She looked up at them, her large eyes glinting a bit.
"You can actually translate this?" Lord Gohda asked her, now sounding slightly impressed as he stared at her.
"No, but I think I know something that can aid in translating it. Sorry, I don't read gibberish," Tama said, already an amused smile forming on the very corner of her colored lips.
Ayame could see that Lord Gohda was fighting back his growing impatience. She chuckled inside; Tama had quite the interesting attitude!
"You may go," Lord Gohda eventually said to Rikimaru and Ayame, dismissing them. "Tama, stay here with me and tell me what you know..."
Rikimaru and Ayame, relieved to leave the study, bowed quickly and left the room.
The two walked in silence as they passed through the decorated halls of Gohda's palace. Rikimaru absently stared at the various paintings on the walls that were done by Gohda's ancestors, seeing them but not really taking them in. His mind was more focused on what he would say to Ayame, the reason why he had gone and left her in the middle of the mission. He couldn't tell her the real reason of course, he couldn't even bring himself to think about what he had done. He kept telling himself that it was for Ayame's own good, to save her from her fate that Kagura controlled. But that nagging little voice in the back of his head wouldn't let him forget, and kept reminding him how much he enjoyed what he had done, the pleasure he felt, the thrill. Kagura's light hands all over him, the feel of her under him...
"Rikimaru?" a voice whispered from beside him. He turned to see Ayame, her eyes searching his face desperately for something, anything, that would tell her why he was acting this way. They had reached their small garden again, the place when they had been followed by the curious Tama and had been interrupted by the messenger. New flowers were in bloom, the thick scents of plum and mulberry wafting in the air.
"Yes?" Rikimaru replied just as soft, trying his hardest to chase away the weariness in his voice, turning to look at her.
"...Are you okay?" she asked him, her hand resting on the curving branch of a nearby plum tree. She seemed distracted, and so far away from him. He stepped a little closer to her, relieved that she didn't move back.
"Of course, Ayame." That was such a lie, he told himself. "I'm fine."
Ayame gave a tiny sigh as she prepared her words. "It's just...it's like all of a sudden, we're...we're drifting apart...little by little..."
Rikimaru closed his eyes for a moment, and then opened them. So this is what Kagura probably wants, he thought to himself bitterly. Well he wasn't going to let her do this to them, to what they had. Slowly, he moved closer to her again, his hand reaching out to touch Ayame's soft cheek. She closed her eyes and leaned into his touch, her hand reaching up over his. "That's not true..." he whispered to her as truthfully as he could.
"Isn't it?" She opened her eyes and looked up at him. He could see some sorrow in those chocolate brown eyes of hers. It hurt him to know that he probably was the cause of it.
"Ayame...I love you more than you can imagine..." Couldn't she see that? What did he have to do to prove it to her, to let her see? Gradually, he moved his lips down closer to hers until they were millimeters apart, his arm encircling her slim waist tenderly. And then he pressed his lips lightly against her own that were as soft as petals, closing his eyes. The taste of her drove him crazy, and he felt the stirrings of his own desire as he forgot everything that was troubling him, just focusing on that kiss. Ayame let him kiss her slowly, losing herself in him, in that small moment. She broke away from him after several moments though, turning her head aside and startling him.
"...I love you too...but..." Ayame stopped.
"But what?" It wasn't like Ayame to act this way. He lightly used his fingertips to tilt her chin back to face him, his other arm still around her.
Ayame seemed to hesitate before shaking her head slowly, meeting his eyes again. "I've got to go to the hot springs...I'll meet you later before dinner okay?" And he let her go reluctantly, as she moved away, turning and heading out of the garden. Rikimaru sighed and eventually walked out of the garden, heading for his room, wondering wearily what would happen to them both.
Ayame headed towards the Bamboo Forest, her thoughts swirling in her head making her feel confused, hurt, angry, tired, and overwhelmed all at the same time. It made her head throb horribly and she decided that maybe a nice warm bath in the hot springs of the forest would help her. After all, the hot springs did have healing powers for the body...but did it have healing powers for the mind?
Ayame took a deep breath as she stepped into the forest, walking the familiar path to the springs. What is wrong with me? Ayame thought to herself as she focused on placing one foot in front of the other. What is wrong with Rikimaru? What is wrong with...everything? The considerable sudden warmth signified that she had finally arrived at the springs. The small cave was nice and steamy, and an aura of calm settled over her...for the moment. Ayame placed the bundle of cloth and a simple kimono by the edge of the spring. Eager to slip into the inviting waters, she quickly removed her clothes. She let her baggy pants slip down, throwing her top off along with her hand guards, leaving them in a messy pile. The steam from the water tickled and danced across her skin, leaving tiny bumps from the feeling. Ayame shook her hair free from the normally tight ponytail on the back of her head, her short black hair cascading over her shoulders.
Finally, Ayame stepped into the water. The water was delightfully hot, and she loved the way it flowed over her skin, cloaking her. But still, she was bothered. The water, the steam, she understood now that they alone could not help with what she was feeling right now. They could not take away her pain. But...what was she feeling right now? Hurt was an understatement. Confusion, maybe. Anger. It was too much. Why was Rikimaru acting so...strangely? Sure, Rikimaru was Rikimaru, but that answer alone didn't satisfy Ayame.
"Why...?" Ayame asked aloud. She cupped water in her hands and splashed it on her face, using more water to completely wet her hair. She looked to the ceiling of the cave, but something off to the side caught her eye. She turned her head. Lying on the ground next to her pants was one of her shurikens. It had fallen out while she was undressing. Ayame reached over and took it, staring at her reflection on the star's shiny surface. Absent mindedly, she started to twirl it around, spinning it using her fingers. Rikimaru...he was the last man she thought she would have fallen for. To think, she had fallen for Tatsumaru's brother! He doesn't deserve me...he could have much, much better, Ayame argued with herself. But...I love him. Though what in hell's name could be causing him to act this way? Why would he just disappear in the middle of a mission, and maybe more importantly where, and what was he doing? And also...why didn't I just ask him myself? I had such a perfect chance. Since when did I have anything to hide from him?
Ayame sighed again. All the times that she and Rikimaru spent talking, having nothing to hide from each other...what had happened to those days? Is it...me? Ayame asked herself.
"Is it? That's the only thing that makes a damn bit of sense!" Ayame yelled to no one in particular. Her voice echoed back at her. "But how could it...he said...he said he loved me..."
"Damn it!" she cried, a sob breaking loose and wracking her body. As it happened, the shuriken slipped from her shaking fingertips and sliced across her palm. All at once the tears that had seemed so near disappeared as she stared down at her hand. It had been just a shallow sort of cut, but blood welled up in beads where the steel had broken the surface of her skin. She watched, transfixed as the red liquid dribbled lazily down her hand. . From the slit trickled a single, mesmerizing drop of the crimson liquid she was so used to seeing pour out of her victims...and now she was causing her own blood to pour from her. Then, before thinking, Ayame drew another one across her palm, quick and hard. She guided it across the soft skin and watched as it made a slit, marring the appearance of her pure white skin on her hand. But she didn't care. Not as long as it took the pain away. And oh, it did!
The sensation was euphoric. Whatever wrongs she had done to Rikimaru to make him hate her so, they were now repaid. By her sacrifice, all was made right. It thrilled her, and tears of sweet relief trickled like liquid crystal down her face, ruby streams lacing down her arm and rist. All the wrongs she had done were righted, the blood purifying her with each drop that left her body. It was as if she were a child again, free in a moon-lighted field covered in freshly fallen snow at the birth of the world. All her crimes dripped from her veins now, making her innocent and pure. The Gods, she was sure, were happy. It was as if with each drop of blood, her sins were being purged out from her body. She removed the shuriken and this time started dragging it across her lower palm, making another, third cut that did not fail to thrill her as the last one had. Closing her eyes she leaned her head back and took a deep breath, savoring the feeling. She felt so clean, so free, so much better than she had been just moments before.
Finally she opened her eyes, held up her hand and looked at the sight. Streams of blood snaked around her hand and down her arm eerily like red ribbons intertwined for decoration. To someone, it might have looked horrifying, but to Ayame, it was beautiful. She gave a smile and finally lowered her hand into the warm water. The blood floated away from her hand in fine patterns, like clouds of red material submerged in water drifting away. The water flowed over her cuts, the pain minimum.
Ayame grabbed the pouch hanging from the belt on her pants and reached inside, retrieving a small roll of cloth. She unraveled it and tore a bit off, using that small piece to dry the cuts on her palm. Then, she stood up, taking the towel beside her and drying her hair and body. From the way the sun was retreating back behind the clouds, she could see that it would be night soon. Placing the shuriken into her pouch, she folded her clothes into a neat bundle and began to put on her kimono. It was simple, enough so that it would be easy to make as if she belonged in Gohda's castle. It was different shades of blue, the bottom a lighter shade, making as if the hem were sea foam. She completed the outfit by tying on a dark blue obi. Ayame let her hair loose, it being mostly dry already. She used her fingers to comb the strands apart.
Picking up her clothes and swords, she headed out of the springs and started towards Gohda castle, heading for her room to drop her things off first. Rikimaru was waiting for by her room's door. He was dressed in a simple shirt, patterned with the crest of Gohda, and pants, his mask off. He looked at her, and she looked at him, smiling.
"I'll just put this in my room and then we can head over to dinner," Ayame said, holding up her clothes and sliding open her door and stepping inside. Rikimaru followed her.
"Feeling better?" he asked her, watching her graceful body movements. He was relieved to see that she looked much better, much happier than she had when they were talking in the garden.
Ayame placed her clothes inside her wardrobe. "You know a bath always makes me feel better," she replied, giving a small laugh. She turned to him, brushing her hair away from her face. Immediately, something on her palm caught Rikimaru's attention. He walked closer to her and took her small hand into his larger one, examining her palm closely.
"What happened?" he asked her, frowning. On her palm were several raw cuts that were still very fresh.
Ayame withdrew her hand from his and looked up at him. "I cut myself, that's all..." she told him, a small smile on her lips. There was something about the way she spoke that made him question the truth in her reply. Those cuts didn't seem like she had done them on accident. But why would she do them on purpose? She then walked past the puzzled Rikimaru, stopping at the doorway and turning to him. "Well, are you coming to dinner or not?"
Rikimaru had no choice but to follow her. But he couldn't help but think again about what was going on between the two of them.
And somewhere, in a desolate fortress on the fringes of the sea, a pair of jade-colored eyes danced with malevolence as he watched the scene conclude itself, wrapped in its own dark mystery.
"Lady Kagura," Gaida said, grinning with sadistic glee, "It has begun."
Author's Note (June 2, 2005):
Bwahahaha...sorry for the long wait, yet again. You can blame me (Adularia) for being a slowpoke. I love the title of this chapter...named after one of my most favorite songs by Garbage! Yes GARBAGE! I doubt many of you have heard of them...but whatever...I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter. Stay tuned for the next one XD Hopefully it won't take quite as long as it took me XD See ya then! Thanks for the feedback so far, we REALLY appreciate it!