Author's Note: One of the writers, Aditi, had moved away last year, but today, she returned for a visit! So, in memory of the insane days of ninth grade, here's another chapter. And yes, here is where The Pirates of the Caribbean pops in!

Remember, asterisks are used to show when one author leaves off and another picks up. Since we tend to drop off at odd places for another to pick up at, you'll notice changes in style. We all have very different ideas and plans for this story, so don't expect a lot of it to make sense. We contradict each other quite a bit, so it'll sound very odd. Enjoy!

Chapter 7

After class, Draco hurried to catch up with the Golden Trio before Crabbe of Goyle could figure out where he went.

"Potter! Oi, Potter!" Draco called.

Harry turned around with Ron and Hermione in tow.

"You don't believe me, do you?" Draco started.

"Erm…" Harry didn't know what to say.

"It's okay Potter. I didn't expect you to believe me anyway. Meet me in the empty classroom next to the Charms classroom. I'll explain everything there." Draco turned on his heel and hurried down to the dungeons. He would have to think of an excuse for Pansy. Crabbe and Goyle would believe anything. Pansy, on the other hand, would pester him until she got all the details. He wished she would just leave him alone. She could get really possessive and just plain annoying.

You couldn't say she had much taste, either, for deciding to fawn over Draco, of all people. But Draco resigned himself to her. It wasn't as if anyone else would like him. Not as if cared. He just wanted to be a fisherman. Well, maybe he did care…a little.

Harry couldn't help staring at the Radcliffe kid across the room at lunch. The boy was smirking at his Slytherin "friends," and showing them some small thing he held in his hands. Harry rolled his eyes. As if the little first-year could have anything important anyway.

"Harry," said Hermione. "What did Malfoy talk to you about?"

Harry sighed. "He's trying to convince me. Obviously, he has no idea about what Dumbledore asked us to do; he thinks we're just not believing him because of…well, how much we hated him."

Ron rolled his eyes. "Is he really that desperate?"

"Yeah. Makes you laugh doesn't it…" He snorted. "Draco Malfoy, begging for famous Potter's friendship. Clearly, he's had no experience in spying."

"And neither do we," said Hermione crossly. "You realize that in order to spy for Dumbledore we need to play along with Malfoy, right? 'Befriend him.' And no, no Polyjuice Potion this time!" added Hermione, shuddering.

Ron snickered, but hastily silenced at Hermione's glare. "So…Harry…what did you say?"

"He lied…again," said a cold, drawling voice.

The trio cringed as they saw Draco walking towards them. They're jobs as spies were over; he must've heard everything.

"What do you mean, I lied?" said Harry angrily.

"You lied…" and suddenly, his voice adopted a dead, creepy shadow that almost suited him…but not quite. "You lied to us…you betrayed us!"

Harry blinked. "I what?"

Draco began to rub his arm, and he said in that same exotic voice, "No, Harry is our friend!" He no longer seemed to notice anyone around him.

"You don't have any friends!" he said, retorting to himself. "You're a liar…and a murderer!"

"I hates you…I hates you…"

"Where would you be without me? We survived because of me!" Draco rubbed and scratched frantically at his arm, then froze.

"Not anymore…"

"…what?"

"Harry will take care of us now!"

"…WHAT?"

"Leave now," the scratching began again, "and never come back!"

"Fool!"

"Leave now, an—wait…fool?"

"The Dark Lord burnt me upon you—I cannot and will not leave! HA!"

Draco stood looking miserable, and then, among bewildered and frightened Gryffindors, he began to cry.

"Draco…" he cooed softly, and began weeping.

"Why do you cry, Draco?"

"Harry hates us…he hates us…"

At this point, Draco suddenly seemed to notice that the whole Great Hall had gone silent, including the staff, who stared in shock, disbelief, and a good deal of pity.

Hermione shrieked. "You heard it from his own mouth—he means to murder us!"

"Miss Granger, I'm going to ask you to calm down," Professor Dumbledore said calmly. "Mister Malfoy, please come with me."

With that said, Dumbledore rose from his seat and walked across the Great Hall.

Draco turned and followed Dumbledore with a look of disgust on his face. As they reached Dumbledore's office, Draco's face began to change into a smile.

"Kit-Kats," Dumbledore said softly. The gargoyle sprung to life and sprung aside to reveal the staircase. Dumbledore stepped into the staircase and Draco followed.

Draco looked around in awe. He never knew Dumbledore lived in such a…great place. There were portraits everywhere. He presumed they were past Headmasters.

The portraits began stirring. "Is that a Malfoy?"

"Just one minute, Draco." Dumbledore walked up the stairs to his living quarters. He took some Floo Powder and threw it in the fire. He stuck his head in and yelled "Number Twelve Grimmauld Place!" As the house came into view, he saw Tonks strolling around. "Tonks! Tonks!" He called.

"Oh! Professor Dumbledore! How can I help you?" said Tonks joyously.

"I need you to get Remus for me Tonks."

"Sure, Professor."

"Call me Albus, dear."

"Um…sure…Prof—I mean Albus." Tonks walked away screaming "Remus!" throughout the house.

"I heard you Tonks!" Remus yelled, coming from Sirius' room. He had been talking to 'Sirius the White'. He had been acting strange—it almost looked like he was holding in a laugh. "Oh, hello Albus."

"Remus, I need to hurry. Young Draco Malfoy is waiting for me." Albus proceeded to tell Remus about Draco's outburst.

"That's awfully strange. Do you think this has anything to do with Voldemort?"

"I really don't know Remus. I just wanted to tell you."

"Okay, Albus, I'll think about it and I'll tell the rest of the Order too. Goodbye."

"I'll talk to you soon, Remus. Do tell Sirius hello for me."

"Will do, Albus."

Dumbledore pulled his head out and hurried downstairs. He saw young Draco wandering around. "Do have a seat Draco."

Draco jumped and turned around. He blushed and sat down in front of Dumbledore's desk. Dumbledore followed him and sat at his desk.

"Is there anything you want to tell me, Draco?"

Draco looked at him thoughtfully. He couldn't possibly tell him about his father going insane! "No, sir. There isn't anything."

"Anything at all?"

"Yes, sir."

"All right, then."

"Can I go now, sir?"

"Well, I was wondering if you could tell me your opinion on our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher."

The Trio hurried into the Gryffindor Common Room. Hermione looked ready to burst, along with Ginny, Parvati, and Lavender. The boys couldn't imagine what was going on in their heads. As soon as the girls went in the Common Room, they started screaming.

"Ahhhhh! The new Professor is so handsome!"

"I love our new Professor…"

All could be heard from every girl, from eleven to seventeen. The boys looked genuinely confused. He was way too hairy in their opinion.

"Who is the new Professor, anyway?" Seamus asked.

The Common Room went quiet. All the girls gasped.

"Didn't you listen to Dumbledore?" Hermione screeched.

"N-n-no…" Seamus looked afraid.

"He teaches Defense Against the Dark Arts! And his name is Professor Jack Sparrow!"

A/N: Don't say we didn't warn you. It's insane. Believe me, even two years after all this, we're still laughing about it. If you think this is confusing, just wait until the end! I promise you, though, there is a definite ending, and it's quite appropriate. There is also a second part, but unfortunately, our ninth grade year had ended, and we couldn't finish the second spoof story.

Back to the story—review! We would all love it dearly. Don't ask anything about the plot, though. It's been broken already, and so will the next one. In fact, we shall break a good many plots yet, and not ask you to answer. (Chocolate frogs and lembas to whoever can guess where that quote came from!)

—The GJC