A/N: Hello all. The emotional roller-coaster continues. Enjoy and Happy New Year!!!
Chapter 23: Standing Strong
The Major was awake bright and early the next morning having gotten a very good nights sleep. Dr. Beckett was fussing over him, giving him a thorough exam. John wondered if he ever slept and swore the man spent every second of his time in the infirmary. He felt a little guilty that he was probably the main reason for the Doc's busy schedule.
The Doctor was pleased to know that the Major had slept well and it showed in his features that now looked stress- and worry-free with a healthy color to his face.
"Well, Major. It looks like you are healing up quite nicely. You are making excellent progress, physically. Your bruising has gone down considerably and your surgical wounds are looking very good. Do you have any significant pain or dizziness?"
"Not really. My ribs still smart from time to time but nothing I can't handle."
"Excellent. The boys will be back this morning to continue with your physical therapy. I see no reason for you to be overly cautious with your workouts. Now if you do experience any dizziness, have a seat right away and allow your body to adjust. There is no need to push too hard."
"Okey, dokey, Doc."
"I'll be getting back to my lab for now. Let me know if you need anything. Teyla should be by any minute with your breakfast and….here she is now," the Doctor declared as he spotted her approaching figure.
Teyla had just walked into the infirmary with the familiar tray of food. She came towards the hospital bed setting the tray aside and greeting the two men with a cheerful good morning.
"I'll leave you in Teyla's capable hands," the Doctor declared as he retreated to his other duties.
The Major's appetite was also healthy this morning since he made no fuss over the grey substance that was his oatmeal and began eating almost as soon as Teyla placed the bowl and spoon in front of him. Teyla flashed the Major a great big, contented smile at his eagerness to eat the bland breakfast without any help or prompting from her.
She sat down at her usual place. "You look well rested, Major. How do you feel?"
"Much better, I must have been wiped out last night."
"You had a busy day, yesterday, after not having been active in a long while." Teyla observed.
"Have I told you how sorry I am about yelling at you?"
"Major, there is no need for that," Teyla soothed.
"I just feel so bad about it. I've never done that to you or anyone else on the team for that matter. I don't know what came over me."
"You becoming frustrated and 'yelling' does not change the way I feel about you. You are my friend and nothing will change that."
"Thanks, Teyla. I don't know what I'd do without you."
"I'm sure you would manage," she stated matter-of-factly.
"So, what's on your agenda for this morning?" the Major asked curiously looking over at the supplies Teyla had brought along with the breakfast. "Am I getting another bath?"
"Not today. However, it is about time you shaved."
"What…is the scruffy look out?" the Major teased running a hand across his coarse chin.
"Major Sheppard, that stubble needs to come off. It is unbecoming of a man of your stature," Teyla scolded in her no-nonsense way that said youbest comply or else.
"Fine," the Major replied a little more sternly than he intended. It didn't seem to phase Teyla as she continued on, bringing out the shaving gear and disposing of the breakfast dishes.
Teyla pulled out an Earth shaving device that she was unfamiliar with. "The Doctor tells me that most of the men on Earth use this device to remove their facial hair."
The Major knitted his eyes together as he took the device. "That's what we call an electric shaver," he explained. "Some men prefer a razor. Others prefer an electric shaver. I generally try to avoid both but this should do the trick."
He took the razor to his face as Teyla pulled out and propped up a mirror for him. It was fully charged and, thankfully, didn't need to be plugged in since the Major's stubble was pretty thick and unruly, much like his hair. He made quick work of his shave and Teyla cleared off the mirror and the device just as quickly. She brought out a small container, and opening it, put some of its contents in her hands and rubbed them together.
"What's that," the Major inquired.
"It is a salve that the Athosian men use after they remove facial hair. It is soothing and healing to the skin." She reached over and began to massage it into the Major's cheeks and chin. It was minty and tingly but did not sting like most of the aftershaves that he had used. He basked in the coolness of the balm.
"Wow…that feels great. Where can I get some of this? The stuff we use on Earth stings like hell."
"Why do you use it if it damages you? What is the use in that?" Teyla inquired.
"Good question," the Major replied. "Seems like a lot of people on Earth tend to use products that aren't necessarily good for them in the name of beauty." Botox came to his mind.
"You may keep this. It should last a very long time. It is made with healing herbs. Athosian women also use it on their faces and for various other things such as cuts and abrasions." She placed the jar next to the Major's book on the bedside table.
The Major learned something about Athosian customs just about every day. He imagined that Teyla experienced the same thing about them. Mostly, he was glad for her company this morning and glad that their friendship was back on track. From Teyla's point of view, it had never been off track but the Major's perception was skewed and he needed to know that everything was clear, at least, on his part.
The two companions continued to chat about various Earth/Athosian customs andthe topic continued on with women's beauty habits, a topic John was not entirely comfortable with. Teyla didn't seem to notice and asked questions that the Major finally had to put his foot down on and let her know that these were inquiries she might want to direct towards Dr. Weir or one of the female scientists. Teyla, getting the message, smiled that condescending smile he was all too familiar with when Teyla was besting him at something.
The two were interrupted by some loud, clamorous noises coming towards them and an all-too-familiar voice giving pompous directions. As they looked in the direction of the cacophony, they saw Lt. Ford, and the Doctor approaching carrying an odd looking piece of equipment with Dr. McKay in the lead looking like he was directing traffic.
"Ow…that was my foot you just stepped on. Can you be a little more careful, please." They immediately recognized the insulted voice of their resident genius physicist.
"Sorry, I'm doing the best I can to walk backwards and see where I'm headed. Have a little patience, Doc." That was the obvious retort of a flustered Lt. Ford.
"Boys, we'll have to set it down here. This is the best spot in the infirmary that will allow full access to the Major's bed. I will not have this thing in the way of my nurses and technicians if an emergency arises." That was Dr. Beckett's voice reminding everyone that he ultimately gives the orders in the infirmary.
Teyla and the Major just watched the trio with mouth's hanging open stunned at the scene developing before them.
"What the hell is that?" the Major finally managed pointing in the direction of the contraption.
"That, my dear Major, is going to help you walk," a smug Rodney replied with obvious pride in his voice.
"No it's not," replied a sarcastic Major. "Not if you had anything to do with it."
"I'll have you know Major that this is a masterpiece, a veritable work of art. I put it together myself. Of course, I had a little help. Actually, I enlisted the help of Dr. Zelenka and his team but I designed it. I'm sure upon closer inspection, our fine Doctor here will find that this meets and exceeds the specs of any state-of-the-art equipment you'll find on the market…well, Earth's market, but we're not on Earth are we."
"Rodney, it will serve its purpose," the Doctor interrupted rather impatiently with the scientist.
"See, the Doctor has already given his stamp of approval."
The Major and Teyla just exchanged exasperated glances with each other. Whatever it was for, John was sure he was not going to be too happy about it.
"Doc, what the hell is this all about?" the Major finally asked as the three men approached his bed.
"Actually, Major, this is for your physical therapy. It's a set of parallel bars to help you while you get used to walking, again," Dr. Beckett replied. "We can't have you falling so I had Rodney here build it so that you can have some support."
"Does Dr. Weir know about this?" the Major asked with raised eyebrows.
"Yes, it's all been approved. I checked it out myself and it's actually a good piece of equipment."
"See! What did I tell you," Dr. McKay jumped in with a self-satisfied grin on his face. "I designed it so that it adjusts for height and for width," Rodney demonstrated. It was almost painful to see how Vanna White-ish he looked as everyone in the room winced at his zeal.
The Major, seeing how enthused McKay was and not wanting to pop his bubble too badly play-acted at being interested. "Well, it does look like a fine piece of equipment." He nodded his head looking at Teyla who smiled the same condescending smile she had given the Major earlier and nodded her head in agreement.
Rodney beamed.
Lt. Ford finally broke up the party. "Okay, Major. Are you ready for your workout? I guess we can look forward to breaking this beauty in." He very subtly rolled his eyes but it did not escape the Major and Teyla who were doing all they could to keep from laughing.
Poor Rodney, he really was sincere in his efforts to be helpful, the Major reasoned to himself. He decided to go along with the plan and humor the poor physicist. If the Doc felt it was necessary, then it must be okay.
The Doctor excused himself but Teyla decided to stay and watch, repositioning the stool to one side out of the way of her colleagues. The two men took the Major through the warm-up and strengthening exercises getting through the reps quicker than the day before so that they could get in some substantial work on standing and walking.
Rodney reprised his role as head cheerleader and could hardly contain how thrilled he was when it came time to get the Major to stand up. John was just about ready to throw up over McKay's sickening, syrupy enthusiasm. He imagined he was acting like the equivalent of a stage mother at a five year olds beauty pageant.
Teyla watched in mild humor and with pride at how quickly the Major was progressing. The two friends had gotten him to stand up as the day before, but this time, after just a couple of tense seconds, the Major did not waiver and seemed to be standing strong. The Major was relieved when he didn't feel light-headed and even better, when he felt no pain.
"Okay, Major, we're going to help you over to the parallel bars," the Lieutenant explained. He was much more sober about the situation than Dr. McKay. Of course, he hadn't been as invested in creating the rehab equipment as the physicist had been. The Lieutenant was also more wary, having experience with a family member with PTSD and with working with his Grandma after she broke her hip. This was really hard work and he didn't think Dr. McKay was fully aware of that fact.
The two men hoisted the Major up supporting him on each side as they walked him the few short steps to the parallel bars.
"Sir, you'll need to hold on to the bars and when you're ready, you can take a step. Please take your time and don't rush yourself. Use the bars to support your weight. Dr. McKay and I will be standing on each side of you in case you need the extra support."
Rodney beamed.
"How hard can it be, Lieutenant?" the Major asked as he placed a hand on each rail.
He stood there for just a minute getting used to having all his weight on his legs once again. Once they were sure he was secure, Rodney and Lt. Ford let go of his arms.
"Sir, if all you do today is stand there, that's enough. Don't feel like you need to do any more than that. It took my Grandma a couple of days before she started walking," the Lieutenant coached.
"That's fine and dandy, Lieutenant, but I'm not an old lady and I didn't break my hip. It's not like I'm some sort of an invalid," the Major sternly reminded the young man.
"Yes, sir," the Lieutenant affirmed with extra respect in his voice not meaning to be condescending to his commanding officer.
Rodney beamed.
God, how the Major wished he could wipe that smirk off McKay's face. He was really beginning to grate on his nerves.
"Alright, Sir…one step at a time. One foot in front of the other," Lt. Ford said in an encouraging voice.
"I know the mechanics of walking, Lieutenant. I don't need any reminders from you," the Major came dangerously close to snapping at the Lieutenant.
Another respectful, "Yes sir," from the young man. The last thing he wanted to do was aggravate the Major. He didn't like the idea of being the possible cause of an episode. The Major rarely snapped at him and knew that the tone in his voice was indicative of his starting to reach his boiling point.
Major Sheppard was doing the best he could to remain calm and have patience with himself. He didn't like this contraption and he liked having to depend on it even less. At least he was standing but even that was tenuous, at best. He took a deep breath and attempted to take Lt. Ford's advice and place one foot in front of the other.
He managed one complete step and held it there for a couple of tense seconds. McKay and Ford watched him like a hawk staying by his side in case he needed them. The Major took another step. This time it was a somewhat wobbly compared to the last one.
Dr. McKay was not beaming as much anymore, concern beginning to show on his face. Teyla had stood up and came closer to the three men in case she was needed, as well.
Rodney tried to be encouraging. "You're doing great, Major." The Major flashed him a 'back off' look taking Rodney a little by surprise.
The Major took two more steps, the strain in his arms now beginning to show and take its toll. The other two men remained silent not wanting to further incur any of the Major's wrath. He had made it halfway down the length of the parallel bars but was beginning to perspire and his breath was getting shorter.
"I think that's probably enough for today, Sir," Lt. Ford warned.
"Yeah…let's save some for tomorrow," McKay chimed with real concern etched in his voice this time.
"I'll say when I've had enough," was John's crisp reply. His eyes had grown dark and he gave them a stone-cold look.
Teyla had stepped in closer to the three men and having seen how the Major's moods could swing sharply, stood at the ready just in case. The threeteammates began to sense the build up of tension in the air.
The Major attempted another determined step after having paused to catch his breath but he would never make it the length of the parallel bars. He started to slip and desperately attempted to keep from falling to the ground. Ford and McKay moved in immediately but they weren't quick enough. In an attempt to catch the Major before he was all the way to the ground, Dr. McKay grabbed him by the waist of his scrubs while Lt. Ford reached under his arm.
This proved to be a fatal mistake. The futile attempt did nothing to slow the Major's fall and acted, instead, as a trigger for another episode. Teyla saw this coming and moved in by the Major's side while Rodney and Lt. Ford stooped down beside him.
The Major had a far-away look in his eyes and the terrified look in his eyes was unmistakable. He was starting to shake and his breathing was coming in quick gulps.
"Major?" Rodney placed a hand on his shoulder trying to get the Major's attention.
The Major let out a yelp and forcefully brushed Rodney's hand away, scrambling backwards away from the three worried faces in front of him.
Lt. Ford tried to placate the Major. "Easy sir, we're just trying to help." He was met with a shove and was thrown back on his heels.
"I'll get the Doctor." Teyla quickly proceeded to report what was happening.
"What do we do?" an anxious McKay looked to Ford for support.
"Just leave him alone. Let him ride it out," the Lieutenant suggested.
The Major had backed up into a crook between two hospital beds. His knees were pulled up to his chest and he was rocking back and forth mumbling something incomprehensible.
Dr. Beckett was by their sides in a heartbeat with Teyla in tow. "Do either of you care to tell me what happened?" he asked the two stricken men.
Lt. Ford decided to proceed with the narrative. "He was going along fine on the parallel bars, even got half-way through, but then he started to fall and we caught him too late. Next thing we know, he was on the floorand when Dr. McKay tried to get his attention, he just snapped."
"I tried to catch him by the waist but I grabbed the scrubs instead," Dr. McKay reported.
"Ahh…Rodney!" Dr. Beckett exclaimed rubbing his face with his hand bringing it to rest under his chin.
"What…what did I do?" an innocent Dr. McKay asked now confused.
"Your actions may have caused him to go into an episode. You didn't do anything wrong. Anything could have triggered it. I'll explain it to you later."
The Doctor had an idea. "Teyla, go and get Dr. Weir."
Teyla was out the door in a flash. Dr. Beckett was not about to try to engage the Major and felt that Dr. Weir would be the better person for the job.
"Dr. Weir may be able to coax him out. They seem to have developed a bond," the Doctor explained.
"Is this typical behavior during an episode?" Rodney asked.
"Unfortunately, yes," the Doctor replied giving Rodney a sympathetic look.
"My God, I had no idea." Rodney sank back down on his backside. "No wonder he didn't want any of us around." Realization hit him like a ton of bricks.
"How do we know when he's going to be triggered by something?" Rodney continued now wanting to know as much as possible so that he could help his friend.
"We won't ever know when it's about to happen. It's like a ticking time bomb," Lt. Ford answered.
"Aiden's correct, Rodney. I can say that I have observedhis episodes occurring further apart." The Doctor decided to try getting closer to the Major and see if he could coax him out but to no avail. As before, the Major didn't respond to the Doctor and only panicked some more when Dr. Beckett inched towards him. Hebacked off not wanting to disturb the distraught man any more than necessary.
Teyla had returned with Dr. Weir who took command of the situation right away asking everyone to back away and give the Major some space. She immediately got down on her hands and knees and started to speak to the Major in calming tones, inching her way closer to him as she did the last time.
"John, it's me, Elizabeth. Can I sit next to you? It's okay, I'm here to help." She made her way ever so slowly towards him. The rest of the team was so quiet and transfixed on the scene in front of them that you could hear a pin drop.
The Major risked a glance in Dr. Weir's direction. She was mere centimeters away from him. "Make them go away. Make them leave me alone," he begged in a strained voice.
"Who, John…make who go away?" Dr. Weir gently probed.
"Them." John pointed a shaky finger at the four other people in the room that were looking on in shock.
"They're not going to hurt you, John. They're your friends," Elizabeth implored.
"N…no, not my friends," the Major shouted.
The lights in the infirmary flickered. Everyone looked around in wonder. Did the Major cause that? Elizabeth was surprised with by his outburst and the lights appeared to be reactingto his distress. That could be a problem. She turned around and gestured to the Doctor to usher everyone out of the infirmary.
"Alright everyone, that's our cue to leave. I don't think we're going to do any more good here," Dr. Beckettwhispered.
Rodney opened his mouth to protest but the Doctor fixed him a look that said 'don't even go there.'
Ford reluctantly moved from his vantage point feeling like he was violating his oath as a Marine to stand by his fallen comrade. Teyla was reluctant to leave as well, but the room was shortly cleared out as the Doctor herded them all out so that Elizabeth could do her work.
TBC…