Looking Deeply into the Glass: Part 3

It felt as if she had been sitting there forever in that chair, when she knew it was really only a handful of minutes. She really didn't know what to say to him after what had almost just happened. She just stared at his quiet body stretched out on the bed. He wasn't talking to her; he wasn't looking at her.

"Are you mad at me"? She asked with a worried tone in her voice.

He replied with a "No" she could barely hear.

"You seem mad at me".

He rolled on his belly, and looked at her. "I'm not mad at you Padme I'm just, I'm just forget it".

"What"?

"I just feel like maybe you just don't want to be with me in that way; that the thought of the two of us in this bed together just doesn't appeal to you".

"The problem is not you Anakin, it's the bed. I feel like we're guests in this house, and that would be just plain rude of us. Besides this place is a little bit spooky; I don't know; it would just be too strange for me".

"It's ok, I understand what you mean. I'm acting like an idiot, I'm sorry". He said with sorry eyes.

"No you're not; I understand how you feel. Do you still want to finish the journal'?

He smiled at her, "Yes of course I do. I'll pick up we're we left off".

The rest of our stay at Island Hills was just as special. After awhile we lost track of how many times, and how many rooms we had made love in. The Lake country was serene, and breathtaking; we just had to live there. We found a quaint little town nearby, and made it our home. Robbins Nest was beautiful, peaceful, and laid back enough for us to blend in, and live a quiet life. It was also the perfect place to open up our own glass shop. Besides making love, making glass made us feel truly connected to one another. I taught you all my skills, and secrets I had learned from my family. The business was a complete success; everyone loved our unique masterpieces. We were able to live well from our loyal customers, and many commissions.

I remember on the first anniversary of our wedding, we took a speeder trip all over Naboo staying at cute little Inns, and breakfast nooks. I gave you your first anniversary present. How I managed to a keep it a surprise I'll never know because you kept asking for hints. But I knew the moment you saw it you were not disappointed. The necklace of crystal angels sparkled around your neck brighter then any star in the sky. And so began my tradition of giving you necklaces, and bracelets each year. We decided that instead of buying something, we'd always make each other things instead as a token of our love.

Sometimes for a change of pace we'd take a trip to visit some of our friends in Coruscant.We would go see some of the space operas, and dance at some of the popular night spots. My father was still running his shop as well with my new stepmother. My family would come to visit us from time to time. And my brother, and his family loved Robbins Nest so much they eventually decided to make a life there themselves with their 5 children.

You loved those kids so much, and they adored their Aunt Angelica. You would have made such a wonderful mother, but unfortunately that dream never came true no matter how many times we tried. You kept on miscarrying; it was pure torture to witness. If we could not conceive our own children, we would eventually just have to accept that for whatever reason; it was not our fate to be parents.

My brother, and his family loved to visit our island; we would all take trips on our water speeders, fish, swim, and make picnics. Eventually, we decided to build a cabin; so we could spend even more time there. Building it brought the whole family together. And then there was the day that unfortunately the family couldn't all be together. My brother's wife had taken their two older children to a friend's party. So the rest of us decided to relax at the cabin. My brother and I were with his youngest son. We were discussing plans to expand the family business, when his youngest daughter ran in to get us. She was crying, and told us to come outside immediately.

By the gods, why did I leave you alone; how could I be so careless, and stupid. It was all my fault; all my damn fault. I was so busy worrying about the business; it hadn't even occurred to me that something terrible could happen. You were watching my brother's two children from the shore; they were playing in the water, and having a great time as always. One of them came out to dry off, but the other didn't. My brother's 11 year old son's leg was caught on a piece of seaweed. He was panicking, and was being pulled under quickly; you told our niece to run, and get help. There was no time to think; you jumped in, and got to him just in time; you managed to free his leg.

I loved your hair Angelica, I loved running my fingers through its silky tresses. It was so long, and wavy. I never thought that it could take you away from me. You had saved our nephew, but you could not save yourself; your long braided hair got caught on another piece of seaweed, and then another piece caught one of your long legs. By the time we got to shore, it was already too late; you had left me. I jumped into the lake, and found your lifeless body with your braid wrapped tightly around your delicate neck. To die so young, strangled, and drowned by your own hair, how cruel can life be?

"What a lousy hand fate gave him, poor guy. Forget about what I said before. Let's not swim in the lake. "

Padme just sat there with her hand around her mouth holding back her tears.

Anakin just stared at her watching the tears swim around in her eyes "Padme are you alright"?

She responded by walking over to him, and he put his arms around her. He looked at her long braid that fell down her back and ran his fingers up and down it slowly.

"It's just so horrible and so unfair". She looked at him with tear stained eyes.

He placed the pad of his thumbs underneath her eyes to dry them. "I know it's very sad. She saved a life, but lost her own. I just thank the force nothing happened to you".

"What do you mean happen to me"?

"You said you used to swim to the island all the time, and you've always had long hair".

"Wow Anakin, I never even thought about that".

"I'm actually a little mad at him now, all that time he knew that swimming in the lake was not that safe, and he never even said anything to you or your friends. He just kept to himself, and made his glass."

"Puts a whole new perspective on things doesn't it".

"It sure does. Do you still want me to read or do you want to leave"? He asked quietly.

"No I want to know what happens next please read to me Ani".

She sat with him on the bed again with her head on his shoulder, and his arm around her; Anakin started to read the old man's next entry.

The whole family came to our island including your remorseful parents to say their goodbyes. We all stood around your body that was surrounded by wild flowers from the island. We cried, and chanted Nubian prayers.

Then we were alone, I didn't want anyone there; it was just between you and me. It took me hours to have the strength to set fire to your beautiful body with skin I'd never be able to feel again. I stood there as the flames engulfed your loveliness. As the smoke rose, my tears just poured down uncontrollably for hours. My anger overcame me, and I screamed, cursed, and pounded my fists into the sand. When you were completely consumed by the fire, I sprinkled your ashes all around the lake surrounding the island. My heart was destroyed; I would never let myself feel again. You were dead, and so was I. I existed just existed; the man I was before I lost you was gone for good.

"Just like Qui-Gon's funeral remember". He said quietly and put his chin on the top of her head.

"Yes I remember that was so sad". She took his hand in hers.

"I wonder how things would have been different."

"You mean if he wasn't killed"? She asked softly.

"Yeah everything changed then didn't it; they would never have trained me to be a Jedi would they'?

Padme didn't answer him; she just sat there thinking about his question. How would things be different if he wasn't training to be a Jedi? How would things be different if she wasn't a senator? You're just torturing yourself Padme by asking these questions she thought to herself. Because the fact remains we're in an impossible situation, and worse yet there may never be an answer to solve it.

Hope everyone's still enjoying the story. I know I am having the time of my life writing it. Once again I thank everyone for taking the time to give your lovely reviews and for reading it. Have I shocked you all with this chapter? The next will be posted soon stay tuned.