Robin knocked on Raven's door. When she didn't immediately answer, he announced, "Raven…I need to talk to you. I'm coming in." And he pushed his way inside.
Though he had suspected something like it, he still frowned at the devastation he found. She's taking it hard, he thought. "Raven, can I talk to you?" He found her huddled on her bed, sheets pulled over her head. He sat down next to her and rubbed her back. "Hey."
But she didn't stir. She only murmured quietly, "Hey yourself."
Since she didn't seem extroverted enough to talk, Robin decided to open up the conversation. "Don't beat yourself up, Raven. If it wasn't for you, Batman wouldn't have been able to catch the Joker."
"That's a piss-sad conclusion, and you know it," she growled from under the covers. "You were the one who gave me the flash grenades. And even then, all I could do was run away. Yes, I got everyone to safety, but they were all hurt—you almost got killed! And it's because I couldn't do what needed to be done."
Robin felt for her, he really did. It must have been hard for those who depended on their powers for so long to suddenly be stripped of them. To be stripped of what made them special. But Robin had studied under Batman, a normal human being, someone who didn't believe in identifying himself with some special power. He made his own identity. And so did Robin. Maybe it's time Raven learned that lesson, he mused.
"Raven," he began, "you're only human. You were born with special powers, abilities that I couldn't dream of. And you were good with them. But now you can't use them. So instead of moping, why don't you learn some new tricks? I can teach you all sorts of things, and it'll probably be easier for you because you already have a great deal of discipline."
This time, she did stir. She sat up, letting the covers fall away from her. She looked at him sorrowfully. "You don't understand. Magic wasn't just my power. It wasn't just who I was. It was what I needed. We have responsibilities, Dick, to all those innocents out there. I can learn all the tricks in the book, but they pale beside what I know I can really do. Without my magic," and here she lowered her head, "without my magic…I'm no good to anyone."
"Raven…."
"I can learn all the tricks in the world, Dick, but I won't be able to do what needs to be done—not to the extent I know I'm capable of. If I didn't give it my all to protect those people out there…to protect you and Beast Boy and Cyborg and Starfire…then what good am I as a Titan?" Her fingers intertwined with his. She brought his hand to her lips and kissed his knuckles.
"I wish I could've been born a normal girl," she whispered suddenly. "Then I could be with you all the time. I wish we didn't have to wear masks and capes and costumes. It would have been easier, simpler. We wouldn't have the burdens we do now." She smiled sadly. "But I wonder if we'd have been together if we were."
"Normal or not, it wouldn't matter," Robin said quietly. "Because I know I would still feel this way about you. I fell in love with you because you're Raven—it doesn't matter if you're a superhero, a mage, or anything else. Even without your powers, you're still Raven to me. Nothing could change that. Even if you were born a normal girl, I'd just have fallen in love with you all over again."
She closed her eyes and sighed. "Thank you, Dick." Then tears started to form under her closed lids.
He wiped them away. "What's wrong?"
"I know how to get my powers back," she whispered very, very quietly. "But I also know the price I'd have to pay."
"What? Tell me."
She sniffled and looked at him, holding him with her gaze, giving weight and import to her words. "My magic is based on my emotional control. But I lost that control and so I lost my powers. And it's because of you, Robin. Because I fell in love with you. Funny, isn't it? That love could be a weakness. If I want to use my magic ever again, we can't be together."
"No…."
"Yes. That's the price. I can either be with you—be happy with you—or fulfill my duty as a Teen Titan." Her grip on his hands tightened with desperation. "I can either be selfish…or selfless." She smiled a small, sardonic, yet somehow wistful, smile. "I could be a superhero…or a normal girl."
Robin stood and pulled her up, wrapping his arms tightly around her. "Don't do it, Raven," he said into her ear. "Stay with me. Please. I want this, you want this. We have something very special. We're happy together. It's okay to be selfish. You've done more than enough to protect this city…."
"You say that," Raven whispered back, pulling away from his embrace, "and I can even believe it. But I know you, Dick. I know why you took up the cape and cowl, why it was so important for you to protect people."
She had her hands pressed against his chest, not wanting to break contact with him. She wanted to cherish the feeling of his chest under her fingers, the scent of him, the aura around him. "I know why you agonize over the nineteen people who died because of that mad bomber. Why you constantly throw yourself into battle against Slade, the Joker, and all the other criminals that crawl out of the woodwork. It's because of duty, of responsibility. Because you know you have the power to prevent another tragedy like what happened to your parents. Because you want to give it your all. I feel the same way—I had the power to change things for the better…and I could have it again. And if I didn't give it my all…no matter what happens…then what would being a Titan mean?"
She closed her eyes and looked away. "If I were to be selfish, if you were to condone it, you wouldn't be able to live with yourself. You would have helped me shirk my responsibilities. And that, more than any physical wound, would have hurt you the most."
She looked back to him…and saw him weeping. "Shh," she said softly, caressing his face. "Shh, my love." She touched her forehead against his. She wanted to weep, too. "I know it hurts. I feel it too. I love you, Dick. You gave me something very precious. I love you so much."
"Raven, don't leave me, please," Robin murmured. "Don't end it. I love you—don't do it."
"You'd never forgive yourself," she replied. "And I couldn't hurt you like that, ever."
In desperation, Robin took her shoulders and forced her to look at him. "Don't do this, please," he begged, "We just got this relationship started. Things are going better than either of us could have dreamed. We love each other. Don't do something you'll regret."
Raven felt the tears run down her face, but she didn't sob; she had reconciled what she had to do. "I'm sorry, Dick. I guess it was never meant to be."
She reached up and took off his mask, looking into his brown eyes. "You're so handsome," she murmured. "But you hide behind a mask. You're lucky—you don't lose anything by hiding or by being in the open. Me—only by hiding can I be of any use to you and the people we're protecting. Only by hiding can I give it my all."
She pressed her forehead against his chest. "I wish—I really, really wish—it could have been different. I'll never forget what we had, Robin, and I'll always feel this special feeling for you…but I can't be with you anymore.
"It has to end, Dick," she said sadly. "I won't let another night like tonight happened again. For the good of everyone we're fighting for, it has to end."
Her arms wrapped around his neck and she pulled him close to her. She tilted up her head. Her voice was barely a whisper, "Enjoy this kiss, because it's the last one we'll ever have." When their lips parted, she said softly, "I'm sorry, Dick…Robin."
Then she drew her hood over her face, shrouding her features in shadow. Somehow, Raven felt…at home again. But it didn't feel quite like home anymore. She walked away from her love, left him standing there, speechless. She could sense his turmoil, but she couldn't do anything about it. Not anymore. She walked her path.
She returned to the darkness of her room. And she felt the familiar embrace of isolation. But it wasn't quite so familiar.
I choose this, she thought with menace, because I know that I don't have a choice. But I'll never welcome the darkness ever again. You've taken away the one man I cared about, the one person who understood and cherished me.
You'll still be there, shadowing me, giving me power. You gave me back my skills, made me a Teen Titan again. As a result, he and I will work together, as before. We will protect the people of this city like we always did. But you ruined any future we had together. He will never be Dick Grayson to me ever again. He will only be Robin. And it's because of you, because of what you made me do.
So never again will I willingly come back to you. Not after this. Not after what you made me give up. Never again.
Standing there, in the darkness of her room, Raven said only two words.
"Goodbye, Dick."
The End