Ah! Scooore!
SORRY FOR BEING LATE !
I GOT TEN REVIEWS! WOOT! Keep in mind, that's a lot to me. Heh.
I'm not going to answer the reviews in this chapter…I want to get on with the writing. My little 'inspirational moments' are prone to disappearing before you can say 'mechimoo.'
Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is mine only in my dreams.
Chapter Five – Et Cetera
"Are you ready to eat yet?"
The Swordsman raised a quizzical eyebrow.
Kaoru sighed. "Look, I'm sorry, alright? For yelling at you. I know you're still weak and that I –"
"I held on to you pretty well, I'd say, Ms. Kamiya."
Kaoru's face burned. That rude, stupid little... "I apologized, okay? So shut up or you'll never stand up again!"
The Swordsman smiled rather stiffly. "Excuse me, Ms. Kamiya. I apologize."
"Look. Just answer the damn question. Are you ready to eat yet? Or are you still too injured?"
"I can eat, thank you." He answered politely. "I haven't thanked you for getting me medical help yet, nor for letting me stay here, Ms. Kamiya."
Her blue eyes widened. "That's all right. I would've done it for anyone. By the way, call me Kaoru. Ms. Kamiya makes me feel old."
"Okay, Kaoru." The Swordsman smiled once again, and once again, there was no warmth in it. There wasn't even coldness in it. It was an emotionless smile, with no use but for politeness.
"By the way, what's your name? I've been calling you 'The Swordsman' in my mind for a while now, and honestly, I'm getting tired of it." It was an innocent question, but as it was said, The Swordsman seemed to freeze even more and raise another barrier between himself and Kaoru. There was a pause as he seemed to consider telling her.
He's pulling away, and burrowing even deeper into his little fortress. Kaoru thought bitterly.
"My name is…Kenshin. Himura Kenshin." Kenshin said quietly.
Kaoru smiled. "All right. I'll get you some food, Kenshin."
I was wrong – his eye's aren't amber. They're sort of blue, but…deeper and metallic.
As she turned to leave, she felt slightly relieved that the gold hue had disappeared.
Kenshin sat quietly in the small room and pondered.
I need to get out of here.
He sighed and picked at the edge of the blanket covering him. Knowing Saito, he won't stay low for long. Ms. Kamiya – no, Kaoru – will be in danger. And the last thing I need is for more people to die.
Like Tomoe.
He sighed softly, willing the memories away, and at the same time wishing they would never leave him.
Forget her.
I can't.
You won't, is what you mean.
Maybe. I don't know.
You don't know anything now, do you? Nothing. It's because you're weak. You've become weak so that you can't think. Ever since she came, you've been this way. Ever since she died, you've been this way.
...she was my strength.
Lies.
She was my sheath.
A sword like ours should never be in a sheath. It should be eternally free to capture the lives of our enemies, to kill and cause a…what was it? A 'rain of blood to fall?'
Shut up.
She knew we would kill her. She knew it, every moment. Every time she looked into our eyes, she saw her killer. She was a sheath for a sword that would betray her, rip into her flesh, cause her blood to fall on clean white snow.
SHUT UP!
You don't even have the strength to fight yourself, do you? I am you. We are one. You can't destroy me – I will always be here. You will never be at peace, unless killing with that katana of yours.
I can't be at piece when causing the blood of innocents to stain the ground.
Then you will always be lost.
I was not lost. With Tomoe, I was home…
That's right, isn't it? You had her. She was your anchor in the storm, wasn't she? Well, that anchor is lost. You will be lost. Your soul means nothing.
No. My soul means something.
Your soul is dead and your heart is black. You killed the one you loved. You have nothing.
I have my promise.
It is fragile, ready to snap…Let us pick up the sword once again. Let me feel death, taste fresh blood on my sword.
For Tomoe…I will never kill again.
…liar. We will kill the girl once we are strong, and rejoin the war.
I won't kill Kaoru.
She looks a little like Tomoe, doesn't she?
Kaoru slid open the door, holding a steaming tray of food. "Food's ready, Ken-"
"Kenshin!" She cried, setting the tray down quickly and running to the red-headed man's side. He was slumped over off the bed and blood was trickling down his mouth.
"What happened?" she asked, worried.
"I…punched myself."
"WHAT?"
"I was getting a little delirious," he muttered. "I'm okay."
"You idiot! Don't know where you got the idea that you'd get better by hurting yourself…well, as long as you're okay, you can eat the food I've made for you. And no more stunts like this, okay?"
"Alright."
"And, by the way, while you're here you might as well talk to me like I'm more than a passing shadow. I'd rather you'd open up a bit, if you're okay with that." This was said gently, not angrily, with concern. Her eyes are calming, like the sky…
"Gomen. I'll try to be more 'open' if it pleases you," Kenshin said, smiling, for once, a real smile as he noted once again her beauty.
Smiling in reply, she left, murmering something about letting him have a bit of privacy as a blush appeared on her pretty face.
The smile stayed on his face for a little while as he began to eat. The food was, overall, pretty bad – the rice was burnt, the fish lacked flavor, the tofu was melted, the soy sauce was runny, but the miso soup was delicious. With some difficulty, he finished the meal, and lay down again to his thoughts.
Are you becoming attached to this girl?
Don't be stupid.
You are fond of her.
Kenshin smiled again, thinking, Yes. Yes, I am.
The smile disappeared as fleetingly as it appeared. Does she not look like Tomoe? Battousai laughed.
Tomoe, Tomoe, Tomoe…
Thoughts of a raven-haired young woman, bloody with a sword through her – who's sword, you ask?
Tomoe, Tomoe, Tomoe…
Tomoe…I'm going insane.
A small, mirthless laugh escaped his lips. Yes, he was going insane.
Injured in a one-man fist fight, ha-ha. Two men in me, who knows which one I am now? I'm insane, Tomoe, insane, without you…
Ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha…
Kenshin was laughing harder now, loudly and wildly, hunched over as the laughs escaped him like hacking coughs.
Ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha…
The laughter died slowly, and he shook silently, tears running down his face and hanging from his chin, racking his thin frame.
Tomoe…I'm dead now, Tomoe…
Without you I am nothing…
Tears flowing like a river.
I am dead.