Chapter 2
Through my vast experience with deep, dark pits, I have gathered many facts that are generally true about them. First, it is generally true that deep, dark pits appear when least expected. It is also generally true that it is not at all pleasant to fall into a deep, dark pit, since they are often riddled with bumps, a phrase which here means "scattered about with bits of dirt and rocks" instead of "telling amusing and challenging mental puzzles". The last thing that is generally true about such pits is that there are often unpleasant things at the bottom, such as a hard floor, sharp spikes, or a room full of lonely telemarketers or insurance salesmen.
The pit that our two Snicket brothers were falling into was indeed unexpected. They also found small bumps throughout the tunnel which proved to be very uncomfortable. However, the landing was quite surprising, since instead of falling into sharp spikes or a bed of poisonous snakes, the boys fell into a small room full of comfortable armchairs, where Jaques' twin sister, Kit, was waiting, perched in a cozy, but tacky-looking armchair.
"Kit!" Lemony cried, running to her side. "What are you doing here? You should be in bed recovering from that flu you had last week!"
"I didn't mean to leave," she protested. "I heard a strange noise as I was reading about the mechanics of military submarines. Suddenly the bed tipped over and I found myself falling until I ended up here. Luckily, they were here to help me get comfortable so I could recover."
The two brothers followed Kit's gaze to find that they were not alone. Two other children were also there, sitting on a puce sofa.
"Thank you very much for helping my sister," said Lemony, who was glad that there was someone else around, and that they were kind enough to help his frail sister. "I'm Lemony Snicket, and this is my brother, Jaques. Do you know what's going on?"
"I'm Dorian Baudelaire, and this is Samantha Wallace." Said the boy with glasses, pointing to a wide-eyed brown haired girl that sat next to him. "We were taken here as we were reading together in my parents' library."
"We're not sure what's going on. We think that this room is moving, but we don't know where it's going," said Samantha.
Just as she was finished talking, the children felt the room stop moving. Like being bound, gagged, and blindfolded in a slow-moving elevator or refrigerator, it is usually easier to tell when something that you are riding in stops than if it is moving. The children were not too startled about the abrupt stop, since they were all perched in assorted armchairs and beanbags and the stop was very gentle. But they were certainly surprised to find the ceiling open and a startled girl fall in, directly into a green beanbag. Before the children could even console her or ask her name, a crackling speaker sparked to life and said, "Next stop, V.F.D."