Chapter 4: Free Harry or O.P.I.N.E.
Here's an excerpt from Chapter 4 of S.W.E.A.T.S.:
"Harry, I'm sure it's not all that bad. So, you're prophesied to have to kill the Dark Lord. Big deal. Honestly, how many other kids your age have bigger problems than that?" Hermione asked sensibly.
"Oh really? Do you really know what it's like to be me? All these crazy fan authors have really warped minds... I've had to learn to fly a dragon, dress like a girl for a pageant, wear very uncomfortable leather, which may have been better than the time I wore nothing to play Quidditch, and oh yeah, once I had to pretend to love you to make Ron jealous—you think that was easy? And speaking of love, I've had to fall in love and break up with Ginny, Luna, Cho, Lavender, Padma, Pansy, Parvati, Millicent, and the Giant Squid! You know how I hate to swim in that lake after the fourth task! I had to switch bodies with both Draco Malfoy and Snape, which was extremely unpleasant; trust me—you do not want the details, especially considering that I had been adopted by Snape in a different story. And that doesn't count the times I was actually turned into a girl. I had to beg on bended knee to stay a summer with McGonagall. I was locked in a bathroom with Ginny once, while I was wearing only a towel, for crying out loud—do you know how embarrassing that was? And I've had to kiss all these girls I'd never met before: Maria Susie, Marietta Suzette, Marianna Susanne, Marie Susan... oh, the list goes on and on! And you wonder why I'm upset?"
"Yeah well, that's nothing. They made me kiss Snape. Talk about being traumatized." Hermione countered, suddenly feeling the need to retch, remembering those yellowed teeth... Harry, however, obliged and got sick enough for the both of them.
For anyone who's read this far, first of all, I cemmend you; second, I advise you to commit yourself; third, you can fnd the rest of this chapter (and subsequent ones as they are posted) on my LiveJournal: http/ Due to layout issues, I'll be posting properly-laid-out versions there from now on. ('Sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused.')