Sirius didn't mean to fall asleep, not as fast as he did. One moment he was completely conscience, plotting ways of getting hold of the Order and the next he found himself awakening to the surprisingly loud knock at the door. He blinked his eyes and focused dimly on the textured ceiling. His house didn't have a textured ceiling.
"Master Cornelius?" a tiny voice squeaked from outside, sending out another loud round of knocking. "Master Cornelius, is you awake?"
Who was calling for Cornelius and why?
Groaning, he climbed off the bed.
"Master Cornelius Fudge?" The voice sounded vaguely familiar.
Fudge. He let out a yell and tripped back against the bed. It was Cornelius Fudge. The Minister of Magic was...
Him. He felt his arms shaking against the soft bedcovers. His own arms. The same arms he had always known. The memories flooded back in a violent storm. He had... died, according to James and Lily. And he had taken over Fudge's body.
What the heck had he been thinking?
"Is you still sleeping, Master Cornelius? Mistress Tawnya mentioned you at breakfast. She had me send some up, Sir."
House-elves. He was completely surrounded by house-elves. Carefully he glanced at the mirror. It still looked like him, only he was still dressed in the now-wrinkled grey robes of Cornelius Fudge. Eh, that was fine.
The bloody house-elf was still at the door.
"Come in," Sirius called. "Ah..." Which one could it be?
"Tis Ardy, sir! With eggs benedict!" The door opened, and the house-elf Ardy appeared, carrying a silver tray piled high with food.
Good grief, how much did the Minister eat? Ardy set the tray on a small table next to the bed and gave a low bow. "Me hopes you enjoys it, sir."
Sirius faked a smile. Eggs benedict had never been one of his favorites. The side of bacon, on the other hand, smelled divine. When had he last eaten? "Thank-you, Ardy."
Ardy gave a deep smile. "You is welcome, Master Cornelius. You has better hurry and eats it. You is already running late for the Ministry."
The Ministry? He had completely forgotten. But the Ministry wasn't his concern. Despite the sinful temptation of going. Well, he could probably contact Harry or Dumbledore or Remus easily from the Ministry. He was all-powerful, wasn't he?
"Good day, Master Cornelius." The house-elf gave another deep smile and left the room.
That creature smiled too much, Sirius suddenly thought. He picked up the bacon delicately between two fingers and sniffed it. Didn't smell wrong. But that didn't mean anything. He stuffed it into a flower vase, half-expecting the ugly thing to wilt over immediately. It didn't. Dang, but he was being paranoid. With a swift strike of his hand he knocked the vase to the floor, where it shattered.
Despite the lack of breakfast, it was a nice way to start the day. Now, the Ministry of Magic.
The hustle and bustle of London was strange to emerse himself in. Over and over again he repeated to himself the fact that he was indeed Cornelius Fudge to the rest of the world. He must have actually mumbled it aloud once or twice because people did stare at him as he approached the telephone booth. Oh, the lack of manners in this world. At least they weren't screaming "murderer!" and calling the Dementors. He punched into the phone keys, half-wondering if this was truly how Fudge went to work. To use something as trivial as a telephone.
Well, it would be fun to run into the main area and shake things up a bit.
"Welcome, Minister," the calm voice replied to him.
Even the magic phone knew who he was. Nice.
"You shall be taken directly to your office."
The stupid phone had never been that nice before. Except he didn't want to go the office. "Wait, no--"
"Have a nice day, Minister."
The next thing he knew he was in his office. Fudge's office. What had to be Fudge's office. It was even worse than the bedroom, keeping with the same hideous color scheme. But... not bad. Not bad at all. Even though it seemed all of Azkaban could have fit comfortably inside. A desk the size of a bus sat against one wall, the polished wood all but blinding him. Random cabinets and chests filled other walls, save for one that was half occupied by a giant stone hearth. In the center was a large patch of green with a flag and a hole. Sirius studied it, trying to remember something Arthur Weasley had once mentioned. Muggle golf? Since when did Fudge play Muggle golf? A large mirror sat above the desk, reflecting him as Sirius Black. Maybe he should have changed the clothes; they weren't him at all.
But not that bad for an office.
He ran to the desk and opened one of the drawers. Parchment. Important-looking parchment. Greedily he yanked out a sheet and read it. Something about... oh, it wasn't that important. Fudge was dead and clearly wouldn't mind. Sirius rolled the parchment into a ball and tossed it into the fire. Then he returned his attention to the desk. There had to be something useful. And he still had to get a hold of someone.
Then he found what he was looking for. A mostly full canister of, all good things, floo powder. Hopefully it wasn't some contained hex for another attempt to kill him. He darted back to the fire. He could check the Gryffindor common room... no, he no longer knew what date it was. It could be summer, for all he knew.
A knock on the door. Couldn't anyone just open a door. "Minister?"
He sighed and shoved the floo powder into the corner. He recognized that voice. Percy Weasley. He had forgotten he worked there.
Percy's voice changed its tone with a disproving sigh. "Minister, the assistant that Order of the Phoenix sent is here."
"Assistant? From the Order?" What was the world coming to?
"Minister, they came up with this a month ago. You agreed, sir. I hate it as much as I do but--"
"Oh, for crying out loud," came another familiar voice. "I hate it as much as both of you but at least I'm working with it."
Sirius felt sick. The floo powder would have to wait.
This was the absolutetly the worst assignment that bloody Albus Dumbledore had given her. She dug her black boots into the carpet, hoping to leave some trace of mud. If she had to be miserable doing this "noble mission for the good of the Order", one could very well bet that everyone else was going to miserable as well.
Percy was still frowning as he talked at the bloody Fudge's door. No, not frowning. The same furious look of utter contempt and humiliation that for some reason he had to direct at her. It was the one he had given her the moment she had stepped in, along with a supercilious "Oh, Miss Tonks."
She hated the "miss" title. Which is why she had come specifically dressed to annoy. Goth. That sometimes scared people away. It wasn't her at all, but a little blackening of the hair and the right clothes could it work. She had even made her skin unusually pale.
She knew very well why she had been given this assignment against her will. To keep her out of the way. Anything else anyone had said was a bunch of crap. Instead of getting to be locked up with Molly Weasley baking cookies or whatever and still managing to trip over something, she was being sent with the expressed purpose of "Keeping the Ministry in line." What for? They believed well enough that Lord Voldemort was back.
But no, they couldn't be trusted. Yeah, right. They could only be trusted to babysit Tonks the clutz. This wasn't proper auror work at all.
She wished Sirius was around. For a moment she glanced at the carpet, taking in the muddy footprints she had managed to leave. She couldn't let that blasted Percy see her tearing up. If Sirius was around, he probably would have talked Dumbledore out of the stupid idea. That's the way he was. Couldn't get Dumbledore to leave him alone, but was always willing to stand up for others. He was her mother's cousin, and like her was so different than the rest of the bloody Black family. Her mum's cousin. Pathetic Tonks had always felt so close to him. Then, of course, her mum and dad had always held that awful private joke that if Andromeda had been on good terms with the family, Tonks and Sirius would have probably found themselves dumped in an arranged marriage. Tonks choked back a laugh.
Percy was still talking. "You agreed, sir. I hate it as much as I do but--"
This was too much. On top of being this lousy job, on top of Sirius dying, on top of whatever else hell had to throw at her, she was not going to listen to all this bull from Percy. She shoved him out of the way and yelled at the door."Oh, for crying out loud, I hate it as much as both of you but at least I'm working with it."
Percy stared at her. He didn't seem to be wanting to say anything. Good. She flashed him a smile. "I thought Ministry employees were always kind to their guests."
If looks could kill....
But there wasn't time for that. The door finally opened, revealing an obscenely large office in the most lavish shade of green.
"Ah," she said. "I see. You got lost on the way to the door."
Cornelius Fudge gave a weak nod. He seemed... surprised to see her.
She frowned. "You know I was coming, Fudgie." Normally she wouldn't presume to act that way, but the rest of the staff was sufficiently scared... besides, with all the things Dumbledore was now holding over the heads of the Ministry, she pretty much had run of the place. "Now, first things first. You are continuing to keep the newspapers informed of You-Know-Who's return? No trying to pass it off as a media joke?"
Fudge looked highly confused. For a moment, anyway. And then he was glaring at her all the impudence possible.
What an ass.
"The papers," Fudge said. "Have more than enough Voldemort news to keep them happy for the next century. Miss Tonks." It was clearly an afterthought.
Percy turned an awful shade of pale. "Sir, you spoke his--"
Voldemort. Tonks stared at Fudge. He had said the Dark Lord's name. "Comfortable saying that?"
"Er..." Fudge's pathetic eyes dropped to the ground. "We as a wizarding community must face facts! Learn to say You-Know-Who's name properly!"
Oh, this was just lovely. The almighty Minister of Magic was going from some happy little coward to fancying himself to be some almighty warrior. Just because of that awful night in the Department of Mysteries. "Trying to soak up some credit, are we?"
Silence.
"I don't have to stand for this!" Cornelius finally shouted. He tried to slam the door, but Tonks blocked it with her boot.
"And I have a job to do."
Fudge gave a dark grin and kicked her foot out of the way. She lost her balance and tripped. "Hey!"
Too late. The door was closed.
Percy cleared his throat. An obvious attempt to block a laugh. "Should I make you an apointment for tomorrow?"
She ignored him and marched to the exit, trying hard not to cry. She was going to kill Dumbledore.
Do you peeps think Tonks is too OOC? This is what I imagine she might be like in a really bad mood...
SHOUT OUTS!
Aerinha: I'm afraid there may be a revolution with Sirius running things. )
Avalon Estel: I always thought Fudge was rather shallow and would actually marry someone like Tawnya. And it is kind of macabre. I'm that way... I love a bit of darkness.
Dot the Distracted: Sirius the Bodysnatcher. Thanks so much for saying that. Teehee.
Dr. Huff-Puff: Fudge's killers are still on the loose. In fact, you've already met one of them.
Harry Hippie: (stares at Harry Hippie, then slaps forehead.) Where were you in the planning and brainstorming time?
Jamie McFly: Would you like Tawnya more if she were named Henrietta?
Krenya: But what if Sirius wants to be traumatizing?
Lady Kazaana: You are morbid. )
Lady Meriadoc: Hey, it is a white trashy name, isn't it?
Libby Bird: Yeah, poor Tawnya. All she wanted was a little money and glamour. So sad.
meenyrocks: Yup. Harry hates him. But I promise there will be bonding.
scared-of-mimes: Yup. It is a blatant rip-off of Down to Earth. Thanks for being okay with it.
Phillipa of the Phoenix: ...what do you want Sirius to do with the trashy wife?
xPussyWillowKittenx: Don't worry, Sirius is above a girl like Tawnya. He will be causing utter chaos AND solving the murder.
Satine-cm: Teehee. No, I don't think Sirius would let Tawnya hang around very long at all!
TeenTypist: Thanks!