Sorry it took so long to update! AMERICANIDIOT75 And Misty thanks for reviewing, if you have already voted for the names DO NOT VOTE TWICE it will ruin the scheme I am watching out for repeats, thank you read on.

Conscientious thinking

Morning came with an early start for everyone, Ren especially who helped Horo prepare breakfast for everyone. Breakfast went along bumpy once it was served Ren was being told his new responsibilities as the carrier of a baby with Chinese heritage. It is known that because the Taos were so solitary and cut off from the rest of the world their ways have always been traditional meaning that Ren was expected to approach the birth in a more traditional way. Although Ching and Ran did not intend on staying long they did intend on teaching Ren as much as possible. This was discussed over breakfast.

Ran: Ren what are you eating?

Ren: Huh? The same as you, why?

Ran: Do you wish the children to be born so pale?

Horo: Pale?

Ran: Yes pale, Ren should eat darker foods. It is believed that if you wish your children to be born with fine tanned skin you should eat accordingly. Ren you must see that everything you do and say from now on will affect the children you're carrying (Waving her finger in the air in a mothering way)

Ren: How does that work? I doubt everything I do and say will change anything

Ran: It can, my mother taught me that if I acted in the wrong manner that it would affect you when you were born as with Jun the same applied

Jun: Why haven't I been told this?

Ching: Jun this will be told to you in time as you go and have children

Horo: So let me get this straight if Ren were to say the wrong thing something bad could happen

Ran: Yes, Ren must stay calm, collect and focused at all times

Horo: 1 out of three isn't bad (let out an amused sound resembling laughter)

Ren: I am always calm, collect and focused! (Started to get angry but was cut off)

Ran: Ren! You must never loose your temper. Do you wish to have children with careless disposition?

Ren: How will loosing my temper do that? (His voice was full of pushed back anger and confusion)

Ran: Do not question me

Horo: This will be fun to watch. Ren keeping his temper

Ren: Kisama!

Ran: Ren! The use of bad language is forbidden also. Do you know why they call them curse words?

Ren: …

Ran: They could place a curse upon your unborn

Ren: Another superstition

Ran: These beliefs have been acted upon for generations and I intend to teach you how to act when pregnant do you understand (Gave him a fierce commanding look not to be messed with that's for sure)

Ren: …Yes…

Ran: Good, now as I was saying

The morning was mainly just Ren being told exactly how he should act but with Ren hating being told what to do or how to act he resisted but he was also brought up to respect his family especially his parents although En was a special case, Ren long ago disowned his father. He was told many traditions that should have died long ago but with Ran not being accustomed to many modern ways still believed in the teaching of her mother. Ran was taught restraint in day-to-day life was essential, she was also taught to thank the goddess Guan-yin who may bless a pregnancy or curse it. Ran was strict on what he could and could not do; everything was designated as either right or wrong. Ren was told never to go near the gym or look at anything threatening or ugly but instead was told to look at pretty things or nice pictures. Also clashing or bright colours were stripped form the rooms Ren was allowed to go in. Beautiful art was placed on the wall, a knife under Rens side of the bed and books Ran dubbed worthy given to Ren who was told to read them over the pregnancy. Ren humoured her and said he would but Ran knowing her son enough to know he was not intending to read them decided she would ring every week to check up on him and quiz him on the books. Ren now defeated huffed but got tutted and reminded of his duty. After half a day of tutoring he was allowed a break from Ran who sat with Ching discussing Rens progress or lack of it. Ren sat on the sofa looking blankly at thin air. Horo came in and looked at Ren who looked completely emotionless, he just sat perfectly still like a doll sat on the shelf. This kind of freaked Horo out and decided to check his husband was still alive.

Horo: (Waved his hand in front of Rens face) Hello, anybody home?

Ren: (Still didn't make a single move) Horo don't bother me

Horo: But your not doing anything (Sat next to Ren)

Ren: Actually I'm suppose to sit here and think happy thoughts and look at nice things (Scrunched up his face trying to sound emotionless and failing)

Horo: You trying to fly to never-never land (Smiled sweetly)

Ren: Fly where? (Turned to Horo sounding quite perplexed)

Horo: Haven't you ever watched Peter Pan?

Ren: Who?

Horo: Never mind

Jun: How's mother treating you Ren? (Evil smirk spread across her cheeks after all she had been listening in for a while)

Ren: Not now if I'm caught murdering you mother wont be happy

Jun: I didn't know anyone could keep you on such a short leash

Ren: Your pushing it (Tightened his fists up on his lap)

Jun: Why brother you sound angry

Ren: I don't sound angry, I am angry (Voice gritted and huffed)

Ran: Ren time to continue, I have a list of foods you should eat and I'll show you how to properly prepare them

Horo: Maybe I should help; I mean I cook the meals as well

Ran: No Ren will learn, and then he can show you after he gets the hang of it, food must be set out right if he is to eat it

Ren: (Leaned over to Horo and whispered so only Horo would hear) If you love me help me

Horo: (Whispered back so only Ren could hear) There's nothing I can do, sorry

Ran: Come on Ren (Took Rens arm gently and lead him out the room with a desperate look on his face)

Horo waved Ren off miming his apologises to him as he was pulled away. The Chinese traditionally did all this with expected mothers not usually fathers but then again how many fathers give birth? Ren obediently did everything in the hope that she would be appeased so she would not change her plans to leave first thing tomorrow morning. Lucky for Rens sanity she couldn't stay any longer because of her duties back home. Ching made himself useful by talking to the other father-to-be and telling him exactly what his sons and/or daughters place in the family is when they are born, basically he went on about the family history and certain secrets that only a Tao knows but nothing to detailed, not all skeletons in the closet were cleared out as Horo wasn't a born Tao. The next morning would be leaving time…

Next Morning-

Ran and Ching were packed up and at the air port, Jun and Pailong were leaving with them but promised to come back soon to stay. The main reason that she was leaving was because she thought Ren needed time to forget of all the tormenting things she did while Ran was there acting like a force field but now Ran was leaving her protection would be gone too, leaving her defenceless to Rens fury. With the last good-byes and waves everyone boarded the private jet home while Ren and Horo watched them leave. Ren now relaxed and able to unleash his anger on who ever he pleased when anyone or anything made him angry or agitated. Horo and Ren went home together shortly after the plane took off.

The afternoon was the most peaceful time, Horo had found amusement in stuffing his face and reading a comic they got free in the newspaper but Ren flicked through the channels aimlessly eventually stopping on his ever loved day time TV programmes on discovery health. He had missed the plastic surgery and the boy who gave birth to his twin but he hadn't missed the talk shows. He had no idea why he watched these things but he found amusement in other people's problems sometimes. The topic on the talk show today was 'don't you find me attractive' which consisted of 4 women talking about their husbands not finding them attractive anymore. The first one was a tubby round women in her mid 30's, this woman admittedly had not seen her toes in years her weight astoundingly high for her height. Her husband flirted with other women often making her feel ugly and over looked. The husband was brought out getting a crowd hissing and booing at him. He too was a stout fellow who was shaped like a capital D. His hair was greasy and his face slack all in all he was not that much more attractive than the woman in fact he could be less attractive. Ren looked at the two and gave his judgement on the situation and in the end siding with the woman for they were both over weight and unattractive so he could not claim to be any more healthy or worthy than she. The next woman was the opposite of the other, she was skinny and abnormally tall, her arms were like pencils with hands that had long bony fingers to match. Her teeth were yellowish and her hair bleach blonde, her argument was her husband didn't pay much attention to her so she had to resort to getting told that she was pretty by other men. She was the one who was hissed at as her husband was brought in giving an exceptional counter argument to his trashy wife who indeed was far less attractive than he. The next was similar but her husband was as much to blame for she made him jealous because she was jealous and vice-versa, they were both insecure and immoral people who deserved each other. The next one was not at all unattractive though, which confused Ren until she started to explain. Her hair was a light blonde colour mid-length tied back in a very neat ponytail. She was tall but not abnormally, her skin was fair and her eyes a very faint blue colour. She started telling everyone her name in a very feminine sweet voice then stated her husband's behaviour. She was 5-6 months pregnant and now her belly was quite large. He had become more and more distant as the pregnancy went along, first he was supportive but after 4 months he started to stop being affectionate and noticing she was even there, then 4 and a half months went along and he became distant, by the time she was 5 months along he started going out more and more. Eventually he started disappearing only coming home to sleep, eat and say hi to the mother of his child. Ren sat listening to her story and thinking to himself 'what a jerk, she should think about where to hide the body. Glad I have Horo'.

Once the baboon for a husband was brought out to give his side the story but entire crowd hissed at him, Ren eyed him like he was dirt even though he knew it was just a TV show that man had really done these things after all it was reality TV. The man she was married to did not look like he was the bad kind; he had soft brown eyes and short brown hair. His appearance was not scruffy or sophisticated instead nicely casual. He didn't seem to look violent or edgy he sat there relaxed with his elbows perched on the arms of the chair. He was given the chance to explain, he sounded innocent in his words but he also sounded clueless to what it was that was wrong with the things he did. His answer to the less affectionate part was the wives hormones making her touchy, and then his excuse to the going out more was he needed space from his demanding wife, he also claimed he didn't know what she meant by it all, didn't say a thing to her just shrugged it off. The final excuse was to the disappearances struck a sour note. He argued that he didn't want to sleep with his wife because she did not satisfy him. Ren huffed and wanted to go down to where ever this man lived and rid the planet of this scum who can't even hold together a family never mind be in a civilised part of society. The final words were "she isn't attractive to me anymore", with that said he walked out of view away from a crowd full of hissing people from the audience booing at him. The women was sat all broken up trying to look calm but sniffling and holding back tears. Ren flicked off the TV and sat pondering on the program. Could a once caring, loving and trust worthy husband suddenly become a harsh villain such as that.

Ren pondered on this compared to his 'that jerk, just because she's pregnant. She can't have become that unattractive, do all pregnant women have to deal with their husbands finding them repulsive. Idiots, I wouldn't take that crap from Horo. In fact he wouldn't dream of doing any of that r he would loose his limbs. He knows it… so then could he find me unattractive but fear to tell me. No! He thinks I'm a god-like being. How do I know that? He has told me, but that was before I was pregnant… Ha he still can't resist me. He drops everything for a chance to spend time with me' Ren now convincing himself of his husbands unshaken attraction to him got up and went in search of the Ainu male. He ventured into the kitchen where Horo sat still stuffing his face with the leftover food in the fridge and reading the spider-man comic.

Ren: Horo (walked over to him)

Horo: … (Still reading the magazine)

Ren: Horo… (Leaned over his shoulder to see if it would get his attention)

Horo: Hmmm

Ren: What are you reading? (Trying to make small talk and sat down on the chair right next to Horo)

Horo: … (Lost in his comic)

Ren: Horo!

Horo: Huh? Oh Ren when did you get here? (Casually put another piece of food in his mouth and turned the page)

Ren: What do you mean how long have I been here! I've been trying to talk to you for long enough!

Horo: (Smiled innocently) I didn't notice

Ren: (Face sank and he looked a little pissed) You didn't notice me calling your name (Remembered the woman off the TV and how her husband didn't notice her) How could you not?

Horo: … (Shrugged)

Ren: Baka (Slumped back in his chair and looked at the floor)

Horo: Something wrong?

Ren: (Shot his head back up to face Horo) No!

Horo: Okay (went back to reading his comic book)

Ren decided that he would find better use of his time so went off to find something he could do. Ren felt a little ignored but didn't let it get to him or ad least yet. Horo thought the way Ren had just acted was weird. He stared at the doorway thinking of why Ren acted weird, usually Horo could read Ren quite well but he completely got the opposite reasons behind Rens actions. He thought 'Ren might just want the distance; he's always been the kind to want to be alone to think. Maybe he would appreciate it if I stayed away from him to well let Ren do Ren stuff… Horo you're a genius' He smiled thinking he was the greatest but he was far from a genius but again the opposite… he had got everything wrong. Ren over the next few days tried to renew his confidence to assure those little thoughts and doubts were wrong but he noticed Horo had been distant, he didn't come up and fuss or try and get away with things like he usually did. Ren didn't notice the little Ainu spying on him every now and then from the doorframe just checking to see if Ren was all right. By the time Ren turned around getting the feeling he was being watched Horo was gone. This added to the frustration Ren felt. There was a braking point after Horo had left the room for the umpteenth time that day when Ren walked in.

Ren: HORO!

Horo: (Turned in the doorway shocked by the volume and tone of Ren) Yes Ren

Ren: What are you doing? (Walked up to him and crossed his arms)

Horo: Huh? I'm not doing anything

Ren: Yes you are now tell me what it is? You must be up to something you're acting strangely

Horo: … (Shrugged and turned to leave the room)

Ren: Horo! Don't just shrug me off!

Horo: I wasn't just… (Stared at Ren seeing something he didn't think he would see)

Ren: What are you staring at?

Horo: Ren… Are you upset?

Ren: (Took in a deep breath to cover it up) No! Why would I be upset?

Horo: If you are just tell me

Ren: I'M NOT UPSET! (Turned and walked away growling bitterly making Horo back off)

Horo: (Whispered this softly) ...Okay… I wont bother you then…

Ren went storming around, usually he would train or sharpen his weapons but neither was an option. He had his mother keeping tabs on him somehow. Her weekly call was due tonight and he hadn't read the books she wanted him to. He grabbed the books from his bedroom and noticed one was missing. He glanced around and saw it on the floor just through the door to the bathroom. The bathroom had two entrances, one from the corridor and another from the master bedroom. He walked over and picked it up not caring how it got there but stopped and looked to his side to see the large mirror they kept in the bathroom. He saw his appearance and looked awkwardly at his stomach from the side view portrayed in the mirror, it stuck out even though he wore a considerably larger t-shirt than the ones he wore before he was pregnant. He felt a little sickened by his appearance feeling he looked odd and obese. The toned muscles that were there had been replaced by a soft large fleshy lump that stuck out making it a tiny bit harder to see his small feet. His thoughts weren't very nice 'I'm shaped like a capital D; my t-shirt is already 2 sizes bigger yet I still fill it. How do women put up with looking like they have a large balloon stuck up their tops? Ad least its temporary… I hope it's only temporary after all that weight is a set of twins. With the amount I've eaten you'd think there were 4 in there, I wouldn't be surprised if all this wasn't just them… no I'm not a fat lazy man destined to look for the remote constantly because the thought of standing up and turning the channel myself is scary. Why does this t-shirt look so small on me? Even Horos largest t-shirts are the same! Dam this dam thing! I look like a hot air balloon swelling to bursting point… When did I become so Conscientious about my looks? … DAM!'

He went out the room throwing the books on the bed again not bothering to read them and rummaged through the cupboards in search of bigger clothing. He found a large black jumper and placed it on, black was suppose to be slimming after all. He went down stairs and sat next to Horo but did not acknowledge he was there. He turned his head crossed his arms and did not glance in Horos direction. Horo noticed Ren deliberately ignoring him then suddenly TV's naughtiest blunders wasn't interesting anymore, he moved a tiny bit closer peering his head around Ren to try see Rens face. Ren just turned around further knowing Horo was trying to look at him.

Horo: (Curiosity got the better of him) What's up?

Ren: …

Horo: Ren?

Ren: …

Horo: Ren

Ren: … (Moved his head further around making it impossible for Horo to see his face)

Horo: Ren! (Put his hand on Rens shoulder not liking being ignored)

Ren: (Ren turned and gave a look of offence at the touch) Excuse me… (Gave Horo a fake sneer) Oh sorry I didn't notice you were there. Why should I?

Horo: What? Ren are you feeling okay?

Ren: Why do you keep asking that? (Sounding annoyed although he didn't know if he was okay)

Horo: Ren what is going on with you? (Sounding confused, uneasy and a little irked at Rens behaviour and answers)

Ren: What do you care? I'm just a fat lump sitting around the house right? Heck I don't want to be around me right now why should I expect you to? (Ren froze realising what he'd been saying, he then started walking out the room trying to keep what dignity he had)

As Ren tried to walk off Horo stood and tried to stop Ren by placing his hands gently on Rens arms to try halt the riled Chinese man. This was met by a show of force from Ren who tried punching Horo away who grabbed Rens wrists still getting Ren trying to knock him away.

Horo: Ren stop

Ren: Get off me

Horo: Don't fight I don't want to fight with you, not like this I don't want to harm you

Ren: you wish. I'm not weak… I'm not!

Horo: I know your not but this isn't what this is about is it?

Ren: Get lost!

Horo: (Managed to wrap his arms around Ren and get close) You got to tell me… Ren

Ren: (calmed down slightly but still tried get distance between them) I don't want to (Looked away and stopped his protest)

Horo: Why not?

Ren: Because your just like that stupid man off TV

Horo: The man off TV, which man off TV?

Ren: On that talk show

Horo: Ren?

Ren: Just back off

Horo: I tried that but you got upset

Ren: I DIDN'T GET UPSET! (Whacked Horo over the head)

Horo: Ow (Grabbed his head) d-dam it! R-R-en

Ren: I told you to back off! (Began to walk off again)

Horo: Stop Ren what did I do?

Ren: Baka!

Ren went straight up stairs and sat on the bed and crossed his arms cursing under his breath then gave out one big sigh. He didn't understand what he did either. How could he explain when he didn't know why… the answer eluded him as well? He heard the phone but it soon stopped, Horo must have picked it up. Horos voice trailed through the house but could not be heard clear enough to make out what he was saying, the phone made a click as it was placed back down after a minute or two of the quiet talking. Ren sank into deep thought holding a pillow to his chest in a comforting way. He wrapped his arms around it nearly nodding of until the door opened slowly revealing Horo holding a piece of board in front of him as a shield. Ren gave him a look as if to caution him from approaching but the signal was ignored as the Ainu lightly treaded closer. The nearest weapons were the soppy books Ran gave Ren. Each was hurled at Horo one hit the board one caught Horos arm and the last one Ren threw skimmed Horos head moving a few hairs as it went by. After running out of ammo Horo slowly put the board down next to the bed sitting opposite Ren. He looked carefully but didn't get the message Ren tried to put across, he smiled hoping that Ren would lighten up but it had the reverse effect making his frown go further south and his face more miserable.

Horo: I'm sorry

Ren: What for?

Horo: Well… what ever it was I did to make you mad

Ren: You don't even know why you're apologising!

Horo: Well (Thought about it for a moment) No

Ren: (Clenched to the pillow he had in his possession) Then why are you apologising

Horo: I thought it would make you feel better

Ren: Getting this whole thing over with would make me feel a lot better

Horo: Only 4 1/2 months to go

Ren: Don't remind me

Horo: It's not that bad, we made it this far

Ren: But for the first three I didn't look like an oversized cargo bay for children

Horo: Well the morning sickness isn't as bad is it?

Ren: No… I still look terrible though

Horo: Look terrible? Since when do you care about how you look?

Ren: (Horo struck a nerve) SHUT IT HORO!

Horo: (Backed away) Sorry, sorry

Ren: (Cradled his pillow in his arms trying to sooth himself) You better be!

Horo: Come on just tell me… I promise I wont say anything or laugh

Ren: I don't know why it's just… why have you been avoiding me?

Horo: I haven't been avoiding you, I just gave you space

Ren: Space is one thing but leaving a room whenever I stepped in was another

Horo: I didn't know you cared

Ren: Well I do (Blushed slightly tinting his face pink feeling like a complete dork)

Horo: (Still quite flummoxed by Rens behaviour) Okay I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, now was there anything else I should know about (Raised his eye brows and moved forward feeling that something else eluded him)

Ren: N-no

Horo: Really? You don't sound sure

Ren: (Very unsure pause) You'll laugh (Buried his head in his pillow but still sat cross legged)

Horo: No I wont I promise (Pulled at the pillow slightly to try get a glimpse of Rens face)

Ren: (Muffled up by the pillow) Yes you will

Horo: See this (Pointed at his face Ren looked up slightly) this is a serious face (Pulled a quite convincing face) Trust me, I wont laugh

Ren: Promise (Leaned into Horos lap laying his head down so Horo couldn't see his face)

Horo: Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye, eat a big cow pat pie…

Ren: Horo!

Horo: Sorry go on

Ren: (Took one deep breath then rushed everything out) I-don't-like-the-way-I-look

Horo: What? Didn't quite catch that

Ren: (Pushed himself up to look at Horo) do you still think I'm… attractive (Got unbelievably embarrassed)

Horo: (Set aback by this) Huh? That's what's been bothering you! (Resisted the urge to laugh almost failing at one point until he saw the look on Rens face) I'm sorry but why would you think that

Ren: This talk show put this notion in my head

Horo: I think you should stop watching daytime TV

Ren: Why?

Horo: Remember when I came home to find the house completely baby proof… and who put that into your head

Ren: (Looked very embarrassed and he felt foolish) You and your cartoons aren't any better. I still remember the weeks of that theme song you sang

Horo: What theme song? (Smiled innocently pretending not to know but he did)

Ren: I'm not repeating it

Horo: Oh I remember (Smiled very widely and proudly before opening his mouth and starting to sing)

I thought that I had everybody on my side,
But I went and blew it, all sky high.
And now she won't even spare a passing glance,
All just because I ripped my pants.
(Singing)When big Larry came 'round just to put him down,
Spongebob turned into a clown.

And no girl ever wants to dance,
With a fool who went and ripped his pants.
I know I shouldn't mope around.
I shouldn't curse.
But the pain feels so much worse
'Cause winding up with no one is a lot less fun.
Then a burn from the sun, or sand in your bun.
Music
Now I learned a lesson,
I won't soon forget.
So listen and you won't regret.
Be true to yourself, don't miss your chance,
And you won't end up like the fool who ripped his pants.

Ren: …Don't… Start…

Horo: Aww Ren, you'll always be my sexy koibito (Hugged Ren)

Ren: Hmm (Felt utterly relaxed)

Horo: If you need me to remind you I'm always delighted to show you

Ren: And how would you do that?

Horo: (Smirked) I have my ways

Horo let his fingers wander over Rens back and down to the waistline. He brought a hand to his husbands face and stroked it gently making sure to look him directly in the eye. He smiled and received a warm shaky smile back. While Ren moved around to place himself comfortably in Horos lap Horo let himself cuddle into his husband and close his eyes letting slow breath disperse from his lungs. The fresh smell of the cool air wafted in through the window swaying the curtains and allowing air to swoosh around in rapid tundra's of chilled air. These small gusts blew across the two making their hair sway and tickle each others faces as they leant their heads together sleepily making slight torpid movements. Ren twittered (Don't ask, my mam suggested the word, it sounds naff) lost in odd thoughts. Horo looked t the smiling Ren and gave a lopsided grin not sure of what kind of smile he should use on a giddy Ren. Ren lay horror on his back and while he worked his way on top looming over him like a canopy over fresh blue waters, everything flowing and calm. Ren leaned in placing kisses on hi kiobito and entwining his right hands fingers in Horos hair and the other hand grasped Horos chest as he kept his kisses delightfully slow paced but feverish. Horos became lost in blank thoughts letting himself be subdued by Ren. He started to get a fervent desire for just a little more bringing his arms around Ren weighing him down so his body was closer. With each kiss stolen another bit of space was sealed inching downwards till they were as close as they could get. Horo felt Rens hand remove itself from his hair and slip slowly downward with out any loss of contact to his sides making Horo swough. After that he regained a moment of coherent thought and sat up pushing Ren back slightly he let out a awkward breath loudly, he looked cornered like a mouse in a trap and the cat was drawing in closer. He shot Ren an apologetic glance before getting up and walked fast paced out of the room. Ren intercepted this

Ren: Horo, what are you doing? (His voice was dripping with annoyance and bitterness)

Horo: (Popped his head around the doorframe and shooting Ren a regretful and sorry glance and then gave an offset smile) S-sorry Ren but… I promised your mother I wouldn't do anything and if I don't get a cold shower now… that's one promise I wont be keeping (Rushed through the bathroom door closing it as he went)

Ren sat on the bed with his arms slung back so he was leaning on them and his head tipped making him look like a puppy that didn't quite understand his masters commands. The shower was heard and Ren perked up slightly and laughed at first quietly then it became a tiny bit louder, it didn't take long for his small chortles to become humorous snorts of loud laughter that he tried to cover up by putting his head into a pillow. It took Horo approximately 20-25 minutes to come back with his shorts back on but his t-shirt was left in the bathroom. His skin was very cool. His cold shower had done just the trick but by the time he got back Ren was laid asleep and slightly curled up trying to gain warmth in his position. Horo went and closed the window that was letting in the afternoons murky smell and a moist draught slip past the frame and over the occupants of the room. Horo thought that today was bizarre what with Ren being insecure and then the cackling he heard from Ren. Who knew Ren was such a self-conscious person…

Sorry crap a chapter I know but I really am working on better. I have no real ideas on the next chapter but it will probably be a short one because I'm developing the rest

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