"Uh oh. You're in trooouuuble," volunteered Zelenka. "Never keep the mistresses waiting."
"This way," said Sheppard grabbing Zelenka and crossing the hall to enter a double doored chamber. They shoved Radek in the room and slammed the heavy doors behind them. For a brief moment, nothing happened. The silence, however, was soon punctuated by the sounds of fists beating on the door. Sheppard leaned against the doors in an attempt to keep them closed. Zelenka, oblivious to their plight, began doing a two-finger walk up McKay's arm.
"Now what?" asked McKay, absently giving the hand a sharp slap which only seemed to encourage the Czech.
"I'm washing my hair," yelled Sheppard in a falsetto as he looked around frantically for something to wedge against the doors. The pounding continued unabated.
McKay's gave him an incredulous look. "That's all you got?"
Sheppard winced as the doors bounced against him. "Find something to jam the door, Genius!"
"Like what!"
"I'm not picky!" He yelled, leaning harder against the doors with his shoulder to brace them.
McKay looked around uncertainly. Spying heavy draperies, he jogged over to the massive windows and gave the curtains several hard jerks until he managed to bring one of them down, ducking out of the way as the heavy curtain rod crashed to the floor. He picked it up, quickly working off the rich fabric and ran back to Sheppard. "Here. Will this work?"
"It'll have to do," he replied, shoving the rod between the two vertical rings that made up the door handles.
"Radek," warned McKay jerking his arm away as Zelenka began fingering his sleeve, "Keep your hands to yourself, or so help me God..." he said, giving his fellow scientist a shove away. "Now what?" he asked Sheppard.
"I'm not sure yet. Where are we?" Sheppard asked, looking around and noticing the familiar layout of pillows, incense and wine and…"No!" he said, running over to slap a goblet out of Zelenka's hand. The empty cup rolled across the floor. Wine trailed down Zelenka's mouth and dripped off his chin. "Great! Why weren't you watching him?"
"Me?" exclaimed McKay, picking up a scarf. He grabbed the Czech's chin and started scrubbing at the wine now staining it. "How is this my fault?"
"I was busy with the door. Do I have to do everything around here?" Sheppard asked, grabbing Zelenka's arm and giving the scientist a hard shake as he reached for the still half-filled pitcher of wine. "No, no! Bad!"
"Radek is bad," agreed the Czech solemnly. "You must punish?" he asked hopefully.
Sheppard scrubbed a hand across his face in frustration. "Come on, we need to get out of here. See if you can find a back door or something."
Rodney looked around the well appointed yet small chamber, spreading his hands in dismay. "Where?"
"I don't know!" He looked around noticing the tapestry covered stone walls. "Check behind the hangings, maybe there's another door or something." As McKay did that, Sheppard jogged over to the windows. It was a two story drop to flagstone yard below. He could also see guards pacing nearby. He turned around and let out an exasperated outburst when he noticed Zelenka. "Give me that!" he said, grabbing the pitcher from Zelenka who had apparently reclaimed it while they were searching. He threw it down in frustration. The wine flowed out and disappeared into the floor. Sheppard cocked his head and shot a glance at McKay who had also noticed. They both cautiously approached the quickly disappearing puddle. Sheppard unsheathed his knife and pried at the crack that was now clearly visible, stained red by the wine. Some scraping and additional prizing revealed a trap door set almost invisibly in the stone floor.
"Come on," said Sheppard, sparing a concerned glance toward the door as the curtain rod screeched in protest. Turning on his flashlight, he pointed it into the dark hole, revealing a replica of their current room about fifteen feet below. He swung the flash light around looking for a ladder. "Looks like another 'fun' room. I don't see any way down except to jump. Try to land on something soft," he advised before launching himself off the edge."
"What? Wait! Major?" exclaimed McKay who had been looking at the door, distracted by the pounding.
"It's clear," yelled Sheppard, taking a moment to shed the ridiculous cloak. If they were going to be captured, he didn't want to be dressed in it when it happened. He quickly piled a few more cushion to help break their fall. "Places to go, things to do, McKay," urged Sheppard, waving them down.
"Great." said McKay under his breath. Zelenka was leaning unsteadily over the hole, obviously trying to figure out what had happened to Sheppard. "Here goes nothing." He gave the Czech a push and the scientist promptly disappeared. There was a soft "umph" from below.
"He's clear," yelled Sheppard a few seconds later, shining the light so that McKay would be able to see where to land. He could see McKay hesitating. "Just do it!"
McKay took a deep breath and jumped, landing safely on the cushions below. "What am I, a Niké commercial?" he complained as Sheppard gave him a hand up.
"Dr. Z, what the hell have you been doing here?" asked Sheppard. His mouth dropped open as Zelenka launched into glorious vivid detail.
McKay quickly cut the scientist off. "It was a rhetorical question, Radek. Haven't you ever heard the expression 'a gentleman never tells'?"
"Good point," said the Czech, nodding his head sagely and tapping the side of his nose. He attempted to lean an elbow nonchalantly against a table. Unfortunately the table was about five inches further to the left than he anticipated causing him to crash unceremoniously to the floor.
Sheppard bent down and hugged Radek from behind, pulling him to his feet. "Upsey Daisy." He gave the scientist a quick, rough turn to one side, then the other checking him for injuries. "You're okay, let's move out." They made two lefts and a right, heading towards what he hoped was the exit. Another quick turn brought them up short against a door that would hopefully lead to the outside garden. He felt Zelenka bump into his back and grab frantically at his vest to retain his balance at the sudden stop. He tried the door. "It's locked."
"We could blow it up, yes?" asked Zelenka.
Sheppard ignored him. "See what you can do, McKay." He moved aside to make room for the scientist.
"Big boom, yes?" continued the Czech.
Sheppard shot him a look of pure annoyance that quickly turned to one of stark terror. The Czech was holding a grenade. Sheppard patted his vest already knowing he'd find one of the devices gone. The way it was being held, he couldn't tell if the pin was missing or not. A hard elbow to the ribs got McKay's attention.
"Major, make up your mind! If you want me to open this…" McKay started, as he turned. He trailed off, swallowing hard when he realized their situation.
"Radek," warned Sheppard, squinting his eyes and holding out his hand "give me the grenade." The Czech clutched the grenade closer as if protecting a prize possession. Sheppard thought fast. "I can't blow up the door until you give me the grenade," he coaxed. He felt relief wash over him Zelenka seemed to think that one over and come to a decision beaming. His hopes plummeted as the grenade was tossed high into the air.
"Catch," encouraged the scientist.