Chapter 24

"Harry, where did you get that?" asked Lupin carefully.

Harry looked up. "Professor Dumbledore gave it to me," he said. "Here, do you want to see? It's wicked."

"Sure," said Lupin, holding out his hand. He looked at the faded cover for a long moment before opening the book. Nell saw him glance through the previous conversation and smile faintly. "This is a most interesting book, Harry. What are you going to do with it?"

"Do?" said Harry, his face blank. "Does it do anything else?"

"Oh, of course not," said Lupin. He was a bit too elaborately careful, however, and Harry stared at him suspiciously.

"Why did you ask, then?" he retorted.

Lupin smiled. "I simply wanted to make sure it hadn't misled you. In fact, did the Weasleys know you had this kind of artifact?"

"Yeah," said Harry. "And they were funny about it too. What's so great about knowing where something's brain is?"

Raising an eyebrow, Lupin said, "Don't you want to know where it draws its power from?" Harry looked puzzled. "Let me put it another way. How do you think it works?"

Harry still looked puzzled. "Magic?"

Nell stifled a snort.

Lupin frowned slightly. "Well, yes. But what starts the spell? It can't start just from you talking to it. How does it know, Harry?"

Harry opened his mouth as if to answer, but closed it, a moment later. "Ah," said Lupin. "You see? First you have to find its brain. In this case, however," he added, looking at the book, "I happen to know that little harm can come from this volume, if one knows the password."

"Password?" Harry's ears perked up. "You know there's a password? Do you know what it is?"

Lupin looked mildly chagrined. "Oh, no, I -- the conversation inside," he said suddenly. "The writers asked you for the password, of course."

"You do know what it is!" accused Harry. "You said you were a friend of my father's, and my father is Mr. Prongs! So you have to know!"

Nell was quite impressed with Harry's logical leap -- apparently, so was Lupin.

"That's true," he said quietly. "Your father and I were quite good friends."

"Who are you?" asked Harry. It was Lupin's turn to look confused. "Mr. Moony, Mr. Padfoot, or Mr. Wormtail?"

Lupin's wince was visible. He sat down on the couch heavily beside Harry. "I'm Mr. Moony, Harry. It's a nickname from school. But --" he held up a hand, "--please, don't ask about the other two. That is a conversation I would like very much not to have."

Harry nodded. "But the passwords!"

"Ah, the important part!" said Lupin. "Of course, Harry. I will have to do it for you -- you need a wand to activate it. Tap it three times," drawing out his wand and doing so, "and say, 'The best pranks are best remembered'." Immediately, as Lupin held the book open, they could see words filling up the pages, the letters crawling up from the spine like tiny spiders.

Harry gaped. "It's a real book?" he exclaimed. "Do you and my father still talk to us as we read?"

"I'm afraid not. It's -- it was -- intended as more of a security measure than anything else." Lupin suddenly looked disconcertingly like a guilty schoolboy. "And it was a great deal of fun to do," he added.

"What does it talk about?" asked Harry, starting to leaf through the pages.

"This is the entire collected wisdom of the most notorious pranksters Hogwarts has ever seen!" Lupin said grandly, and Harry gasped in wonder.

Nell couldn't resist. She tried, but -- "Awfully thin book, isn't it?" she interjected.

Harry looked mortally offended, but Lupin grinned. "Ah, you might think so, my dear," he declaimed, "but you have yet to witness the true wonder contained herein!"

"Oh, listen to this, Nell," said Harry, who had stopped to read a particularly interesting section. He read, "'When charming the House point counters, take care not to get greedy. Let the points slowly slip away, and the Slytherins might never notice.' What are House point counters?" he asked Lupin.

"Merits and demerits are measured using semi-precious stones in giant hourglasses. Your father helped set up a spell to take a few points every day from our rival house, Slytherin." He looked sheepish. "Not one of our cleverer ideas, but original for all that. It was about four months before anyone noticed."

Harry looked impressed and went back to paging through the book.

Nell caught Lupin's eye and raised her eyebrow. He gave her a slight, mischievous half-smile. Of course he would; he wasn't the one who would have to deal with Harry at Hogwarts. But then, she thought, it was a boarding school; she wouldn't be the one to keep him in line either. She smiled back, and let Harry keep reading the prank guide.

But she took Lupin aside. "I want to talk to you," she hissed, and pulled him into the hallway.

He looked at her enquiringly. "Yes?"

"Who did this? Who's behind it? Do we need to worry about that evil Lord Thingy?" Nell fired off the questions rapidly, barely managing to keep her voice down.

Lupin held his hand up to stem the flow. "Dumbledore said that he would discuss it with you tomorrow morning --"

But it was Nell's turn to cut him off. "You'll tell me now," she said. Her eyes were narrow with determination and her fists were clenched; she felt downright dangerous.

Lupin must have sensed her desperation; he cast her a considering look. After a long, tense moment, he sighed and shrugged, conceding. "Well, obviously I don't have details," he began cautiously, "but I do know that the only wizard who is known to regularly wear pinstripes is -- is --"

"Yes?" said Nell encouragingly, as Lupin seemed to falter and lose a bit of resolve.

"The Minister of Magic," he said heavily.