Author's Note: The song is part of "Summer, Highland Falls" by Billy Joel. Beautiful song, amazing songwriter. I hope you like the story so far, please R and R and let me know what you think. Gitania

Memories of Hope

Chapter 5: Sawyer's Song

"I need something." Hope stated simply. She knew that Sawyer wasn't one for much small talk, unless it was laced with sarcasm, and after three nearly sleepless nights with her dream circling her mind, she was far from in the mood.

Sawyer smiled, and he removed his sunglasses and sat up. When she had walked into his shelter he was a little surprised, but he was glad to hear that she would be the one on the defensive.

"Which has what to do with me?" he drawled, deciding not to draw out their little chat. He hadn't had a lot to do with Hope so far, and wasn't sure quite how to deal with her.

Hope was already unimpressed with Sawyer – she knew he was playing dumb. He would have to be blind and stupid to miss her patrolling not far from his tent for the last few days, with notebook in hand, psyching herself up for this visit. She had barely put the book down since Boone had given her the gift, and she still wasn't sure she wanted to include Sawyer in something that had become almost sacred to her.

"Look," she said, angry already from sleep deprivation, "I didn't come here for sweet chit-chat, and you know it. I'm here to make a deal. I need a pen, or something to write with at least, and I know you're not one to give something for nothing. So, what do you need?"

Sawyer raised his eyebrows at the possible innuendo, and the corners of his mouth lifted in a small smile. If she was this angry already, he had won before the battle began. He pulled himself into a sitting position on the aeroplane blanket he had been laying on, and with a broad smile, swept his hand across it in a gesture for her to sit. Hope felt as though she had just entered war negotiations.

Hope sat, a little heavier than she had intended, and Sawyer's expression softened a little.

"What's the matter with you?" he asked her, looking for a moment as though he might catch something by sharing his blanket with her.

Hope sighed and relaxed her posture until she was more comfortable, but her mood had not been improved by Sawyer's moment of concern. "I can't sleep… All I need is a pen or something, and I'll be out of your hair. I know you don't want to sit here and play Oprah."

Sawyer smiled at this, and caught himself wondering how she remembered something as trivial as a talk-show host, but not her own life.

"Well then, Peaches, I guess I better think of something I want…" he gazed at her suggestively, but Hope was too tired to play his games. If he wanted a rise out of her, he would have to work harder than he was.

She remembered the first time he had used this nickname for her. She had to ask him what its relevance was, and she was surprised when he had said it was because of her pale, English-looking skin. If she was going to have a nickname, she had expected it to relate to her tattoo or her strange lack of past, but Sawyer was one of the few people on the island who didn't seem to think of these things whenever he looked at her. In a strange way, she appreciated that he let himself forget that she was in a worse position than many others.

Sawyer lay back onto his blanket, turning himself so that he wouldn't hit his guest, sitting at the other end. He buried his bare feet in the sand, and closed his eyes. It didn't take long before Hope wondered if the conversation was over, and perhaps she would have to go away and wait until he came up with something that she could give him.

Hope was just shifting her weight to get up and leave, when Sawyer spoke softly.

"There's this song…" he trailed off, and Hope settled herself again on the blanket.

"I have this song in my head. Stuck there, just driving me crazy. Any idea what that's like?" he opened his eyes and looked up at her, wondering for a moment if she actually could remember what that was like. "Anyhow, I want you to get rid of it. I used to listen to the radio to get a new song in my head, but we're a little lost for those kinds of creature comforts out here, you may have noticed."

Hope lifted her tired eyes from the sand and looked down at him, unsure why his request made her so uneasy. "You want me to give you a new song?"

"Yup." He closed his eyes again, and wiggled his toes in the sand, "That's the deal, sweetheart. You give my brain a break from 'You are my Sunshine', and I'll give you some grade 'A' writing materials. I got some good stuff lying around, you know."

"Really?" Hope wasn't convinced. "Let me see."

Sawyer opened his eyes, and sat up, smiling. "I like your style, Peaches, you got some spunk. No trust for no-one, I like that!"

He ambled over to a suitcase and rummaged through its contents. After a moment he emerged, holding a small, flat tin. He sat back down beside her and opened the tin for her to look inside. Hope realised in that moment that she must be an artist or a writer, considering the small, joyous gasp that escaped her at the sight of pencils.

The tin held three sticks of artist's charcoal used for sketching, three lead pencils, each with a different number on the side, and two pens full of ink that didn't quite belong. Sawyer must have found them separately and added them to the collection himself.

Her smile and watery eyes caused Sawyer to laugh out loud. "Maybe I should ask for something better in return, if you're going to get all weepy over pieces of burned wood."

Hope pulled herself together quickly, and resumed the deal. "One song, for everything in that tin?" she asked, wanting to be very clear on the terms of their agreement.

"Yup. Hell, I'll even throw the tin in for free!" he smiled widely, and put the lid back on the tin. "And now, my song…"

He lay back on the blanket, again burying his feet in the sand, as Hope did the same beside him. She had become quite accustomed to his company in the short time she had spent with him, and she wondered why Sawyer would knowingly give her the better end of a deal. Unless, of course, he really hated 'You are my Sunshine', which was entirely possible.

Hope racked her brain for another song, the trouble being that she didn't really know any since the loss of her memories. She did her best to clear her mind, and tried not to think about the possibility that she was a terrible singer. A tune came into her mind, and she sang it without a thought, desperate to get her hands on the writing materials that may be the key to her sanity, and a good night's sleep.

Softly at first, she began to sing, and Sawyer closed his eyes to listen.

"They say that these are not the best of times,

But they're the only times I've ever known.

And I believe there is a time for meditation

In Cathedrals of our own

Now I have seen that sad surrender in my lover's eyes

But I can only stand apart and sympathise

For we are only what our situations hand us

It's either sadness or euphoria…"