Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts

Blue Screen

Chapter Five:

That God Damned Knocking

I heard that god damned knocking on the front door. I heard it but I was trying to ignore it. I was sick for Christ's sake! Doesn't anyone have ANY form of courtesy for the dieing? I pulled my pillow over my head. I had already knocked the phone off my table, breaking it. Earlier that morning I think I threw my alarm clock against the wall but I'm not sure, it could have just been a nightmare. Now that damn door was getting knocked at, and whoever was behind it didn't appear to be stopping anytime soon.

I sat up and stared blearily at wall. 'Someone has a death wish…' I thought as I pulled myself from my bed and walked into the living room. I grabbed the remote from the coffee table, planning to beat the person over the head with it. Unlocking and opening the door I raised the remote and yelled, 'What the HELL do you want?' I stopped mid-smack and looked at the person before me. Tall, handsome, and holding flowers was Sora.

"Oh it's you." I said turning my head to sneeze and then groan.

"I feel so loved." He says and I roll my eyes.

"Sorry if I don't seem to be the kindest living being, I was planning my suicide and then you interrupted me." I say moving out of the doorway so he can walk in. Sora walked in and I slammed the door, throwing the remote back onto the coffee table and curling up in a blanket I had left on the couch earlier. "I'd offer you something to drink but I don't think I'd make it to the kitchen and back so instead go and help yourself."

Sora chuckled. "I'm not here for a drink. Leon told me you were sick so I brought you some flowers."

I finally let my gaze settle on the bundle of flowers in his arms. A large bundle of tulips, every color of the rainbow. "Oh um…thanks."

"I'll just go put them in water for you."

"Thanks, Sora." I said. He smiled and walked into the kitchen. Wrapping the blanket around me tighter I leaned onto of the big fluffy pillows I had sitting on the couch. God, I felt like something a dog just puked up. Sora came back into the living room.

"Mind if I sit down?" He asked.

"Help yourself but don't sue me if I make you sick." I said and he chuckled. He sat down beside me and smiled more.

"Sorry you've been feeling so sickly. I missed you at the diner yesterday."

"Well as much fun as infecting a whole bunch of people with sickness sounds, I don't think I'd be able to stand long enough to do it." I said grabbing a medicine bottle off the table beside me. I started to unscrew the cap and then down a couple of swallows. After taking time to gag I capped it again and set it back onto the table.

"Goodness, downing Inill?"

"I want to get better, I want to go back to dieing of boredom, not dieing of sickness. Dieing of boredom is slower and less painful." I said going into a bout of coughing. I groaned as the coughing stopped. I blinked my eyes open as I felt a hand on my forehead. I looked over to Sora.

"You really should get something to break that fever Riku. Inill doesn't work on fevers." He said and stood up. "Do you have a medicine cabinet?"

"Yeah second top cabinet on the right." He nods and walks into the kitchen. I returned to laying my head on that pillow and staring at the back of my eyelids. I heard some rummaging around in the kitchen and then water running. I opened my eyes as Sora walked back over to me. He pressed a small white pill to my lips. Opening my mouth I let my lips brush across his fingers to take the pill and then he handed me a glass of water.

"That should help." He said sitting down as I finished off the glass of water. I didn't really care if it would help or not, if it didn't, it meant I was step closer to overdose and then I can just die and forget sickness. "Um…hey…Riku?" He stuttered.

"Yeah?" I called out from burying my face in the pillow.

"Well…I...I was wondering, when you get better…would you like to go out to dinner with me?" I blinked my eyes open wide. Sitting up I looked to him. "You…you don't have to I mean, it's just if you want but um…"

"Leon put you up to this didn't he?" I asked.

"Huh? No! Riku I've wanted to ask you out for a while now, I just…didn't have the courage." He said chewing on his lip.

I stared at him a moment longer then sighed. "Sure Sora. I think that would be nice." Not really. Don't get me wrong, Sora is a nice guy and all it's just…dating isn't my forte. I looked over at him and saw the biggest grin I had ever seen in my entire life. Then he hugged me. A great big bear hug and I was too weak to push him off.

"Thank you!" He cried gleefully.

"Your welcome, your welcome now please let me go. I need to breath." I said and he chuckled but set me back down on my pillow.

"Sorry. Here's my number." He says taking out a pen and writing down his number on my hand. "Call me when you start feeling better and we'll make a date. That sound good?"

"Yeah Sora. Sounds just fine."

"Well I guess I should go, I have work to get to."

"Alright." I said, he stood and walked to the door. He waves at me before leaving and I fall into my pillow. I couldn't die now. Damn you Leon, I know in the grand scheme of things that this is somehow his fault…too bad I was to sick to slap him when he gets home. All well I could just wait until I was feeling better and then put a good deal of laxative into something he's eating or drinking right before a date. Cruel yes, but effective.

I was tired of him getting into my personal affairs. I understood that Leon was just trying to help me but what he didn't seem to realize was that I didn't want his help. I wanted to be left alone in my sarcasm and cynicism. I just wanted to be…safe from people. Not that Sora is a bad guy, he seems sweet but, for Christ's sake do they have to gang up on me with there social natures?

They just don't seem to understand that I am not like that. I don't want to be around others and that I just want to…be. I was rather tired of being hurt and trying to start over again, to try and act like nothing had ever happened. Not to mention if I get upset again there's no telling what Leon would make me do. Go see a counselor, make me take anti-depressants, or even put me in a mental facility.

I lie there on the couch in a light depression as I continued to mull this over, wondering if I could take back my promise of giving Sora a chance, and giving a groan as I realized I couldn't. I wanted so bad to get away from these ponderings, wanting to forget that I was going on a date for the first time in my life. I stood up and stumbled into my bedroom. I plopped down on the bed and pulled out a bottle of pills from the locked drawer on my night table. I swallowed the pills with a glass of water that I had left on the nightstand earlier.

My little stash of miracle pills, and YES, it's legal. It was an anti-anxiety pill that I had gotten from a doctor though I had made sure that Leon didn't know, he already worried to much as it was. I had told him time and time again that I wasn't suicidal, though he didn't seem to believe me no matter what I said; it was why I still shared the same room with him. Course, maybe it wasn't that he was worried that I was suicidal, maybe it was that he was worried I'd become suicidal. I guess it was possible since I was already depressed.

Slowly my pills began to calm my mind and I stood and walked back to the living room and took my place on the couch again, the remote control in my hand. I slowly flipped through the channels until finally I just slipped out of consciousness, black surrounding me and placing me in a dreamless, deep sleep that I wished I could have stayed in forever.

Westburna Apartments, later that day

I walked through the bedroom door and smiled at the site of Riku asleep on his bed, apparently content. He looked cute, his nose red from the cold he has. I walked over and placed a hand on his head, running my fingers through his hair. I called out to him softly and was surprised that his eyes opened slightly, it usually taking a train wreck to wake him. He slowly sat up and I sat down beside him.

"How are you feeling?" I asked and to this he shrugged.

"Alright, better than I have been." He says. He sounds slightly off and I wonder if something is wrong with him. I continue to ponder asking him if something was bugging him when he spoke up and I looked to him. "Sora came over earlier today…"

"Oh? Well that was nice of him." I said, trying to play dumb to the fact that I had already known Sora would have been there, having thought this all up at the diner with Sora.

"Even though I KNOW somehow you're in the middle of all this, he asked me to go out on a date with him and I said I would. I'm supposed to call him once I get better."

I smiled and wrapped an arm around Riku, pulling him close. "You're scared aren't you?"

"Of course not!" he quickly exclaimed but then paused and sighed. "A little, maybe. It's just…I don't know what I'm supposed to do or how I'm supposed to act. I don't want to end up hurting Sora's feelings or anything like that."

I knew it. Riku usually didn't like it when people wormed their way into his life and when they finally did he felt wary of that person. I knew that later on when it comes time for his date Riku would be nervous and would even be considering canceling so I would have to watch him carefully and make sure that he doesn't screw this up and cancel.

"Calm down, you're not going to mess up, all you have to do is go and watch a movie or eat and make light conversation. You do that all the time with me."

"Yeah, but I'm comfortable with you."

"Just trust me, you'll be fine, I'll even help you to get ready." I beamed at him and he rolled his eyes.

"With YOUR fashion sense?"

"At least I have one. You just wear pants and sweats."

"It's called being comfortable!" And we continued this banter on for at least another half an hour before Riku started to feel tired again. I helped him back into bed and he went to sleep almost instantly. He was a really sweet guy and I knew he deserved the absolute best, I just hoped that Sora was the best, because I didn't really think Riku could have his heart broken again.

"You better take care of him, Sora, or else I'll cut off your balls." I whispered to no one in particular before stepping out of the room to take a shower.

The Oasis Hotel

I was currently wandering around the internet, trying to find some of the best places to go in New Seattle, I wanted my date with my little White Fox to be absolutely perfect. I wanted by the end of the night to at least get him to smile, once, just once. I want to see the sweet smile that I know will make my White Fox's face shine with amazing brilliance. I just had to find the perfect place, time, and atmosphere. Maybe if I was lucky I could get a kiss, or even a second date but I would have to work hard to dazzle him.

Course working hard was of no problem, I wanted his beauty to be MINE so therefore I was willing to do anything. He was the most perfect being on the planet and I need him, I wasn't going to let him go and God willing, he'd have the same feelings for me soon enough. I often daydreamed about what it would be like to hold my White Fox, to kiss him, to love him. I wondered what it would be like to be loved BY him and wondered if it was possible, if I would ever make that dream a reality but there was only one way to find out so I returned to my search with more vigor and smirked triumphantly as I found the perfect little restaurant for us to eat at.

It was a small cozy little thing and from the pictures on the website, it was apparently romantic and willing to close for couples with enough money. They provided soft music and some of the best cooking, I know, having eaten there once myself which, made me kick myself for not thinking of it sooner. Well dinner was taken care of, but what to do next? It couldn't just stop as dinner, oh no, it had to be something wonderful and spectacular! I just wish I knew what. I sighed again, book-marking the page on the little restaurant and began searching once more for entertainment.

A movie was too cliché, besides there wasn't anything good playing. So what then? Maybe a carriage-ride through the park? Or…hmmm…a serenade?...Both are far too cheesy. I sighed as I realized this was going to be extremely difficult. Riku was apparently the type that was not only hard to impress, but hard to effect. I didn't want this to just be a memory, I wanted it to be something that Riku would be unwilling to forget, the night of our first date! The night we first spent together and what I hoped wouldn't be the last. I sat back as I still couldn't think of anything.

Well I have time, it'll probably be a couple more days before Riku will call me and it's already two in the morning. I sighed as I turned the computer off and stood from the living room of my hotel and turned off the light in both the living room and the bedroom. I pulled off my clothes, throwing them on the floor before falling onto the bed in nothing but my boxers thinking of my sweet little fox. I quickly realized I wouldn't get much sleep what with the thoughts of Riku finally giving me a chance to be with him.

I would be lying there all night thinking of him, thinking of his beauty and that smile that I crave to see. I remember that I had asked Leon what his smile was like and Leon had just laughed and told me that I would have to wait and find out. I really don't want to have to wait but anything worth having is worth waiting for I guess. I stared at the cold empty side of my bed, wishing he was there, wishing that I could hold and caress him but instead the only thing there was cold, lifeless sheets. One way or another I was going to make my White Fox return my feelings!

End Chapter

gets down on her knees and begs forgiveness SO sorry it took so long but between switching computers, being lazy, and having extreme depression phases, I haven't really been able to write a lot BUT I will at least give you this- NEWS BULLETIN: I should soon have a original fiction site entitled "Ume Sh- Repsychus and Screamarie's Bishonen Hell." It's a joint original fiction site between me and the LOVELY Repsychus, you mayknowheroriginal work from Fiction Press, if not, you should, she's a better writer than me.

Well anyways, I leave you with toodles goodbyes and see you laters and hope that you liked reading this as much I did writing it. Love ya, Screamarie.