Memories of Hope

Chapter 7: Clarity

"It's not Sun." Jack stated, after hearing Hope tell the story of the sketch. He looked closely at the page, with eyes intensely focussed, "I mean, it's Sun, but it isn't really Sun."

"What?" Hope was too tired for cryptic clues. She sat on the edge of a rock near the caves, with Boone beside her, frowning at Jack for his mysterious response to her dilemma.

"Yeah, dude, it sure looks like her to me." Hurley looked over Jack's shoulder at the page, and Hope recognised that her story had drawn quite a crowd.

After their surprising revelation, Hope had run to the caves with Boone in tow, to speak with Jack. He was the closest their little community had to a therapist, and Hope was growing more and more certain that she was losing her mind. She had started her story at the beginning, the day she and Walt had started fishing together, and ended up at the present moment. Somewhere in that time, Charlie, Hurley, Kate, Walt and Michael had joined them, sitting on rocks and the ground, as though they were attending story time at the local bookstore.

Jack looked disparagingly at Hurley, and handed the notebook back to its owner. "Well, it is her."

Charlie piped up, trying to end the uncertainty. "Look, Jack, first you said it was, and then you said it wasn't, and now it is again. I doubt that I'm the only one who's a little lost, here. Is the picture of Sun, or not?"

"Yes." Jack stated, and turning to face Charlie, who looked relieved to have a straight answer. "But no."

Charlie's face fell, and reflected the common expression of bewilderment that the group held. Hope was convinced – she was losing her mind, and Jack was helping. She wasn't sure how much more of this she could handle.

"Jack!" Hope stood, and got into his space. "I'm going just a little crazy, here. No more interruptions! I don't know how it can be her, and not her, at the same time, but please be good enough to enlighten us all before I really start to lose it." She spoke quietly, but Jack could tell that she was quickly getting to the end of her rope.

"Okay, sorry. Sit down, and I'll explain." Hope returned to her rock, and felt Boone's arm wrap around her shoulder. She felt strangely comforted by his presence. Jack continued, "The picture in the book is of Sun, no question."

Charlie looked pleased, but still more than a little lost.

"The picture in your mind, however, is not."

"But it is!" Hope interjected, the sleepless nights and stress getting to her. "They're the same picture!"

"I know." Jack said quietly and firmly, and Hope fell silent.

Jack turned to the group, "What I mean is – she's not really Sun." Hope inhaled to speak, but fell silent again as Jack turned to face her. "The face is Sun's, but I think she's more of a representation. The only faces you know are those of the people on this island. In my opinion, Sun is just a fill-in for someone else in your life before."

"So, the woman in the dream only looks like Sun because Hope doesn't remember what she really looks like." Walt spoke up, putting it straight for everyone, and Charlie's expressive face took on a look of relief.

"Well, I'm glad we got that sorted out." He said, standing up from his place on the floor, and brushing himself off.

"But, who is she really?" Hurley asked.

"I guess that only Hope knows for sure." Jack answered, using his well-known 'Doctor voice'. "I think this proves for good that your dream is really a memory. Maybe you've buried it, and now it's coming back for you to face it."

Hope sighed, suddenly feeling too tired even to move. It was only mid-morning, but she felt as though she had done manual labour for a whole day and night since waking that morning.

"So, how do I find out who she really is?"

"My guess," said Jack with a grim smile, "is to get some more sleep."

Jack headed off with Kate, who had been strangely silent, to fill water bottles for those left at the beach, and the group dispersed. Story time was over, and the only thing left was a sleep-deprived young woman with a past as haunted as those of her companions.

Boone helped Hope up from their rock, and gave her a concerned look.

"Is there something I can do?" he asked, unsure of how to help.

"I don't know. I don't know what to do." Tears of frustration and exhaustion filled her eyes, and Boone moved closer to pull her into a hug. "I can't keep doing this, Boone. I'm going crazy. What if I can never sleep again? I'll go mad, for sure!"

"It's okay." Boone comforted, holding her tight. "I'm sure things will work out. There has to be someone here who can help you. In the meantime, you know we'll all keep you safe. Nothing's going to get you, not if I have a say in it, okay?"

"Okay." Hope sniffed, and pulled away to smile sadly at Boone. He really was a huge comfort to her – perhaps her best friend on the island. She wondered if he was as true to everyone as he was to her. She almost hoped that he wasn't.

Afraid to be idle, in case she fell asleep again, Hope spent the day spear-fishing with Walt. It had been a while since they tried – Hope had been too tired – but she felt that it was about time to make another effort.

They took a new spot this time, on top of a rock overlooking water about knee-deep. Walt had suggested it, because then they wouldn't be 'in the fish's territory', and they would be easier to catch. Hope couldn't help but wonder if Walt had been taking hunting tips from Locke.

"Sometimes I don't know why we keep this up." Hope said, as she pulled her spear from the sand beneath the water. Walt had fixed things so they didn't have to leave their rock and disturb the waters – each spear now had a short strip of material tied to the end, making what Walt called a 'retrieval rope'. He really was a smart kid.

"Because one day we're going to catch something, and then everyone will want us to teach them. Then we can sit back, and watch the fish roll in…" Walt smiled contentedly, and Hope couldn't help but laugh at him.

"You know, I've been thinking…" Walt started, letting his spear-wielding arm drop to his side and looking at his companion.

"Great job." Hope teased, relaxing along with him, "Always a good way to pass the time."

Walt gave her a serious look, and Hope gave an expression of apology, encouraging him to continue.

"I've been thinking about you and your dream. All you really need to do is get inside your own head, and look around some more. Suss the place out, you know?"

"Sounds great, buddy, but how does one get inside one's own head?" Hope asked seriously.

"That's the part I haven't figured out yet." Walt admitted, scanning the water again and holding his spear at the ready.

"Oh." Hope was a little bit let down – she had hoped that this child would have just the idea she needed.

"Maybe Mr. Locke can help you." he suggested, a hero-worshipping boy's answer to all, locking his eye line and throwing his spear into the shallows.

Hope was considering this as an option when Walt jumped in the air and whooped,

"I did it! I got a fish! Woooooo! I got one!"

Hope looked into the water, and saw a fish struggling, with the end of Walt's spear pinning it to the sand.

"Oh my God!" she yelled, "You did it! Woooooo! Yeah!" She picked Walt up in a huge hug, and spun him around on their fishing rock.

Walt grabbed his spear from the water, leaving the fish on the end, and the pair ran up to the beach camp to show off their catch. As they ran celebrating past an impressed-looking Sawyer, Hope realised where they were going.

Walt ran straight up to Locke, showing off his hunting prowess to his hunting instructor. Locke smiled a smile that filled his whole face, and gave Walt a military style handshake and a friendly slap on the back.

"I'm gonna go show my dad." Walt said cheerfully, already heading towards the path to the caves.

"Okay," Hope responded, deciding to stay with Locke, "Be careful on the path. I'll see you at dinner!"

Walt beamed, calling back, "This one's for us, Hope!"

"Can't wait, buddy!"

Hope and Locke laughed as Walt hurried through the sand, sinking deeper the faster he tried to run.

As Walt disappeared through the trees, Locke turned to Hope. She didn't have a lot to say to him, but she wondered if he really could help her, as Walt had suggested. Hope was always surprised by the knowing look on the older man's face. She soon realised that news had travelled very quickly around the camps.

Locke's smile brought her strange comfort as he said quietly, "I know why you're still here…"