Title: Esoteric
Summary: Sydney isn't the only one who has to deal with the loss of her child
Disclaimer: I don't own Alias or any of the characters from the show.
Rating: PG-13
A/N: The last chapter was a little dark, but I know exactly where I'm going with this story and the death was needed to allow it to progress.
Chapter Eight
As Sydney sat in her father's office staring vacantly at the wall he entered with a cup of coffee and handed it to her. "Thanks." She muttered, finally tearing her gaze away from the wall and directing it at her father.
"Do you hate me?" She asked as he sat beside her. "It's ok if you do, I killed you only grandchild…"
"Sydney…"
"No, Dad please, just listen to me." Sydney objected. "Lauren and I brought Faith up with all of our morals and our beliefs and she was…she was like the best of both of us. She wasn't evil like Rambaldi or Sark, because you can't be born evil, she was so pure and innocent and if Rambaldi got her she would use her for whatever she has planned, and it would be evil…I couldn't have my little girl tainted like that…it would destroy her. I gave her the easy way out, because she and Lauren didn't deserve to be put through all the pain of trying to fight off Rambaldi and constantly be running from her. I guess I deserved to live, to feel this pain and this burden because maybe I am evil dad, maybe that's why Rambaldi chose me, but I loved Faith too much to let her become me and get dragged in to this world."
"You could have came to me, the CIA could have helped you…"
"No! They'd have used Faith like some sort of experiment, she was a living, breathing, happy little girl, Dad." Tears began to well up in Sydney's eyes as she took out a photograph from her pocket and handed it to Jack.
It showed Sydney, Lauren and a young girl no older than eight in a park with smiles on their faces and hugging like a family on a sunny picnic day. Jack knew had known that life with Laura Bristow and Sydney until Irina had left.
"Sydney." He had on an expression, which told Sydney she wasn't going to like what she heard, he had used it the day he told her he was CIA. "When you were five and your mother had left, I feared she would take you, or project Black Hole would want you when they learnt that Irina Derevko was you mother, they knew you'd have a connection to Rambaldi and would take you away from me. So the night of your mother's memorial service I went in to your room with my gun in my pocket. I was a trained CIA agent, I could easily put a bullet in the right place to ensure painless and instant death, because then I had nothing to lose except you and I didn't want anyone taking you from me, but you woke up as I grew near your bed. You'd cried yourself to sleep, and when you found me in your room you got out of bed and flung your arms around me legs as you cuddled in to them and cried. When I picked you up and sat on your bed with you until you fell asleep I looked in to your eyes and I could not kill you…because of my cowardice you have endured all of this pain in your life, and I'm sorry. So no Sydney, I do not hate you, I admire you; you loved your family enough to end their pain."
"I'm glad I woke up." Sydney replied as she hugged her father for the first time in almost a decade. "Loving Lauren and having Faith was worth all of the pain I've ever had in my life. Thank you."
As the two embraced Vaughn rushed in to the room looking angry and horrified at the same time. "When we asked Langley for clearance to kill Rambaldi they denied it."
"What!" Sydney let go of her father and rose to her feet, clenching her fists in rage. "Why not? From what dad's told me she's ran a major terrorist group for the past seven years, stealing CIA research, chemical weapons, murdering countless people…"
"She helped the CIA bring down her organisation and argued a plea bargain." Vaughn explained, disgust evident in his voice. "Kendall granted it."
"What was the deal?" Sydney feared the answer, knowing how easily Rambaldi could wrap people around her little finger. Vaughn couldn't look her in the eye as he answered.
"She has now become director of a new black ops team for the CIA…Kendall just informed me, she's been given the freedom to chose her agents and the deal includes Sark who was given full immunity and is now a CIA agent."
"Who does she want?" Sydney knew the answer before she asked.
"She has requested that agents Sydney Bristow, Jack Bristow, Michael Vaughn, Eric Weiss, Arvin Sloane and Julian Sark join the new black ops team, as well as Marshall Flinkman and Nicole Vaughn." Kendall spoke from the door of Jack's office. "And she's getting them, Rambaldi is an invaluable asset to the CIA, we need her on side."
"My daughter is no longer a CIA agent, she's been MIA for nine years, she cold walk out of her now and no one could force her in to any black ops team…"
"No, Dad." Sydney objected. "I'll join her team, and I'll work under her authority, and the second she slips up I'll be there to make her pay for everything she has ever done to me."
Two days later they were all assembled in the briefing room of a hidden base of operations in Los Angeles for the new Black Hole Defence organization. Milo Rambaldi stood at the head of the table in an expensive looking suit and a neutral expression spread over her face.
"Welcome to the BHD as agents of this organization you are no longer officially associated with the CIA, you take your orders from me and you do not disobey them. Regardless of your past encounters with the agents in this organization you are all now on the same team and you will respect your superiors and your fellow agents. Dismissed." The others left muttering under their breaths and casting glances back at Sydney as Rambaldi held her back in the office. "We need to talk Sydney."
"Our daughter is dead. End of story." She went to walk away only to be stopped by Rambaldi grabbing her arm.
"How could you kill your own child? When you said you couldn't love our child I thought you could learn to, I guess I was wrong about you. You kill our child and have the audacity to call me evil?"
"I loved her enough to spare her from you." Sydney snapped. Rambaldi shook her head and sat down in her chair.
"Four hundred years of planning, worthless because you believe my motives were anything other than just wanting a family…but it's not too late Sydney, I made you immortal just like me, as you already know, you can still have a child, and Sark can still help us, we can have our family…"
Sydney pulled out the photo she had shown her father and slammed it down in front of Rambaldi. "Our daughter was so special, we can't just make another one; the world will never have such a gift again. I'll make damn sure of it."
Rambaldi looked at the young girl in the photograph. She was tall, but lanky and well built for an eight year old, Sydney had obviously passed on some of her CIA training for the child to defend herself, and her hair was identical in colour to Sydney's and her eyes were a pale blue like Rambaldi's.
"She was beautiful." Rambaldi muttered after a few moments. "But do not condemn me for wanting to have another child Sydney, you stole her away from me before she was born, she was part of me and I wasn't allowed to love her."
"Her name was Faith, she was polite, respectful, and able to defend herself by the age of four. She loved Skateboarding with her best friend Aiden, she hated spinach and she was the top of her class." Sydney explained. "She was not just a thing you can replace."
"May I see her?" Sark asked, surprising both women as he walked over from the doorway where he'd been standing. Sydney handed him the photograph and watched a small smile spread over his lips.
"She was truly beautiful." Sydney nodded and placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder.
"She had your smile, and she could charm people at the drop of a hat." Sark went to give the photo back but Sydney stopped him.
"Keep it. Even though we haven't seen eye to eye in the past, and I truly hated you, you didn't deserve to lose your daughter. I'm sorry."
"Thank you. I'm sorry about Lauren…" Sydney nodded and left the room leaving Rambaldi and Sark staring at the only connection they had left to their daughter.