Author: Nefertili
Fandom: Inuyasha
Rating: PG13
Pairing(s): Sesshoumaru/Kikyou, Sesshoumaru/OC
Genre(s): Romance, Angst, Adventure, AU
Warning(s): Battle scenes, betrayal, over-anger (if there is such a word), fluff... What more can I say?
Disclaimer: None of the characters, except perhaps some, are mine. They are owned by Rumiko Takahashi.
Summary: Kikyou, being saved from peril by Sesshoumaru, joins him in a quest against Naraku and one of his allies, who happened to share a past one-sided relationship with the Demon Lord. SesshKik!
A/N: Beware, ultimate betrayal coming up! Also, there is a flashback scene that includes a really arrogant Sesshoumaru... Kikyou is off to discover a secret that will change her viewpoint of Sesshoumaru forever! Am... I guess I couldn't make the fic go with the flow of the anime. The story just wouldn't fit in with the episodes!
...o0o...
Kikyou waded into the waist deep water of a nearby river to cleanse herself while she sought to clear her mind of confusion. Her kimono stuck to her flesh like a second layer of skin, and the autumn air made the flowing water rather chilly, but the priestess did not mind. She had been in the company of Sesshoumaru for over a week now, and she had gotten used their ways and adapted to them. They had not sensed any presence of Naraku, or even the Demoness Kikumo, and Kikyou was somehow as troubled about it as she was relieved. The sudden dormancy of their enemies is something peculiar to the miko, but if it troubled Sesshoumaru, he did not show it.
Sesshoumaru. Kikyou gave a sharp shake of her head and submerged underneath the cold water and removed the grime that had stuck to her raven locks. When she appeared once more on the water's surface, she made for one of the large boulders scattered around the steely river. Setting herself on it, she let the water drip from her long hair as she sat down and faced the sapphire sky.
She was abhorred at having to let her feelings slip from her so easily. After having let out her misery at Sesshoumaru's remoteness, all that it earned her was an even more distant attitude from the taiyoukai. Even Rin, as small as she was, could sense a difference had come over the raven-haired miko. She had matched Sesshoumaru's coldness with her own stony indifference, speaking to him only when the need was there, even at times finding alibis to avoid him. Gradually, the little jealousy that had formed in her heart began to fade away until but a shadow of it remained.
Why did she feel that odd jealousy anyway? She did not even like the Demon Lord... or did she?
"Kikyou, what a waste of time," the Priestess scolded herself. "Have you not learned what this thing called love takes you to? Was death not enough to make you learn? He's the half-brother of Inuyasha..." She thought of Inuyasha, and a deep frown creased her face. Many times, Kikyou had come close enough to the half-demon to kill him, but alas, her miko powers just won't allow themselves to be harnessed. She had loved him once, and though her heart was marred by the hate planted by Naraku, death was not enough to make her forget that.
Running a finger over her still damp hair, Kikyou recalled what brief happiness Inuyasha gave her, as well as pain. He had eased her loneliness of being the Guardian of the Shikon no Tama at least a bit, and she had never felt so overjoyed in her life, but that joy was short-lived. Naraku had erased all of her bliss, and she hated him for that.
Kikyou sighed, and she descended from the rock and waded once more in the water to get to its bank. When will she feel that happiness again? Or had all the delight vanished when she lost her love for Inuyasha? Was he the only person who could ever give her such lighthearted feeling? But now, all that he gave her was pain and hurt... And she was tired, too tired to search for the giver of happiness that her heart had been longing for. She had become content to being a solitary one. At least in being alone, no one could hurt her...
Once more, Sesshoumaru's face fluttered in her mind; a new understanding came to her, and she smiled, for the first time that week. 'It seems I am not the only loner in this world, who chose to be isolated from its aches and joys. And strangely, though I can see some traits of Inuyasha in him, it does not repulse me.' She giggled, and said to herself, "And he is certainly much more mature than his little brother."
Calling on a strong wind, Kikyou allowed the wind to drive away the dampness from her clothes, hair and skin. Taking her white ribbon which she had hung on a tree, she tied her hair back and made her way back to their camp.
...o0o...
Sesshoumaru watched numbly as Rin played a game with Jaken. As he sat with his back against a tree as he had done a million times before, the child had made his retainer wear a blindfold over his eyes and he ought to find her around without using his eyes. They had been playing for a long while now, and still the toad demon could not fathom where Rin had inserted herself into. Unknown to him, the little girl was simply following him around and would occasionally give him a poke and prod to annoy him.
'Rin does know how to annoy Jaken,' Sesshoumaru thought amusedly to himself, though his face was emotionless. His ears twitched to hear the footsteps of the miko nearby, and he closed his amber eyes and turned away so as not to see her face. Why ever is he feeling so uneasy around her? Kikyou had made herself scarce around him, and though he was relieved that she had done so, a small part of him wished that she'd be near. Somehow, he felt certain contentment inside him if she was around.
Sesshoumaru had spent most of his life wandering, and he certainly knew many places that no human feet had ever trod. Forgotten or unseen edens, which would have cast awe in human eyes were to him just another place. The fascination for new things had long died within the Demon Lord, and he felt as though even if he went around the world and back again, he will still remain unsatisfied and unhappy. Something was clearly missing, and all his travels had not led him to that piece he was searching for.
The taiyoukai gradually opened his eyes and was surprised to see the miko laughing merrily as Jaken finally got a hold of one of Rin's feet as when he, by chance, tripped over yet another tree root. Rin was laughing, too, even if she finally got caught. She kept on insisting that she should now blindfold herself and find Jaken, but the toady demon was already tired, and he collapsed against a rock stuck beneath the roots of a nearby tree. Kikyou then offered to play in Jaken's stead, and a wide smile was seen on Rin's face as they started the game all over again.
'She's smiling again,' Sesshoumaru could not help thinking upon seeing Kikyou blindfolded and on all fours, feeling the ground and her surroundings to find Rin. He remembered the deep chasm that had opened between them when the Demoness made her appearance. 'She seems to have set behind her our little disagreement about Kikumo...' His eyes then gave a little flicker. 'Kikumo...'
Sesshoumaru gradually turned his head to face the western side of the sky. What Jaken had said was true; she had fought alongside them fifty years ago, and even he had to admit she was as beautiful as she was powerful. But when she appeared to them more than a week ago, Kikumo was but a shadow of what she once was. She was still powerful and the beauty of her face was unchanged, no doubt about that. But her gentle kindness had gone, and sultry hate had replaced it. The peaceful glow of her emerald eyes was overwhelmed by the shadowy darkness that had enveloped her.
The taiyoukai was driven off his musings by the activity of his companions. Kikyou had managed to corner Rin against a tree trunk, and the child tried to evade capture by running, but she could hardly contain her giggles that the Priestess had no trouble catching her in her arms. Rin then removed the cloth from her eyes and tightly embraced Kikyou, who smiled so sweetly that Sesshoumaru was taken aback. Memories flooded inside him. He only knew of one other person who could smile like that...and he had foolishly ignored that smile when it was first given to him.
The Demon Lord suddenly felt himself missing Kikumo when she was still the peaceful Deer Demon he knew back in the Western Lands, and he was secretly upset because of Kikumo's abhorrence of him. And Sesshoumaru just knew why, why she had become the dark demon that she was now.
It was he who caused her sorrow.
...o0o...
Evening had fallen, and the little band of demons and humans quickly made camp in the failing light. Sesshoumaru had led his companions further upstream, and this time they camped beside the river. Rin had at once entered the chilling waters and searched for probable fish that might be around in the autumn. Her efforts did not prove in vain, for two small fish darted by and Rin deftly caught them with her hands.
The fish were still wriggling when Rin excitedly brought them to her companions. "Priestess Kikyou, Priestess Kikyou, I caught our food!" Kikyou immediately came to assist Rin, and the priestess managed to get hold of one of the fish when it slipped its way out of Rin's grasp in an attempt to get back to the water.
"Poke your finger in its gills; it will stop wriggling," Rin instructed Kikyou. When Kikyou just stood there stupefied, Rin did the task for her, and Kikyou laughingly apologized for not knowing what to do. She admired the child's deftness at fishing. Even Kikyou had to ask for assistance from her town's fishermen in the past if her sister Kaede wanted fish for their supper.
The fish having stopped struggling, Kikyou then inserted a clean stick through each of the fish's mouths and she began to roast them over the little fire that Jaken had made. Rin then stood up and went into the forest saying that she will go find some mushrooms that would go well with the fish; there ought to be some in the woods.
"Okay, but don't go too far," Kikyou called after the child, and she concentrated on cooking their supper. She smiled when she recalled an incident in her past life when she and Kaede burned up the fish they were roasting. For all her supernatural powers, the miko was not the greatest homemaker in the world.
Sesshoumaru had been watching them throughout the time, and he could not help but recall the first time he met Rin. She had left him the exact same food of roasted fish and mushrooms after she saw him lying in the forest, quite hurt and wounded. He had shunned her hospitality due to his aloof persona, but Rin did not mind being abused by her townspeople just to keep the demon alive. Touched he was that he brought her to life after seeing that she had been killed by wolves. It was only a test, Sesshoumaru wanted others to know, but he knew the little girl had already won his fondness.
Rin soon came back with her hands full of the little brown mushrooms. By this time, their supper was already cooked, and the two humans had their meal. Kikyou had known that Sesshoumaru would not take any of the food they offered him, nor would his retainer accept what his master rejected. It was a shame, because Kikyou felt that in eating together, their little group would somehow develop some ties.
The Demon Lord eyed Kikyou for a long while. The mood of humans is a mystery, indeed. One moment, you see them crying, and then at the blink of an eye, they are laughing. Whatever made the Priestess unusually happy? Well, at least she's not badgering Sesshoumaru with her questions about Kikumo...
As the night deepened, Kikyou finally tucked Rin inside her sleeping bag, saying good night as a doting mother would have. Rin had a contented grin on her face as she dove into a deep slumber. Kikyou then spared one last look at the ever so vigilant figure of Sesshoumaru nearby before she lay down on the soft grass under a tree and went to sleep. She had been sleepless for the past nights, and only now, when she had found a thought to make her glad, is her mind temporarily at peace.
...o0o...
Sesshoumaru's senses immediately picked up the familiar tones of the koto strings when they came by at about midnight. 'She is here,' he thought and casting a glance at the sleeping figures of his companions; even Jaken was asleep, snoring loudly with saliva drooling from his open mouth. Sesshoumaru stood up and in evenly measured steps, went into the dark forest which was silenced by the music of the Deer Demon.
...o0o...
Kikyou was awakened by the strong aura. She was a light sleeper, as it should be for a Guardian of the Shikon Jewel, in order to stay alert for any skulking demons that might come to steal the Jewel. She heard the plucking of koto strings, and she the thought that the Demoness was near was enough to make her sit up.
She searched her surroundings for Sesshoumaru, but she could not see him, at least by her naked eyes. She still felt his energy nearby. He probably set out to confront the other youkai, and at once Kikyou armed herself with her bow and arrows and left the camp as well. If he was going to duel with Kikumo, she would not let Sesshoumaru fight alone.
Kikyou swiftly passed beneath the unmoving branches of the trees, and in time she caught sight of the figures of the two youkai near a very large pine. She had a very good view of Kikumo, was sitting on one of the main branches of the tree, her fingers on her koto, which was delicately balanced on a scattering of smaller limbs. Her hair was set loose from its plaits, and it reached longer than Kikyou had imagined, almost hiding her sandaled feet beneath their soft strands. Sesshoumaru was standing several feet from the tree's roots, his back facing Kikyou's direction. His gaze was locked on the figure of the Demoness, apparently not noticing Kikyou's presence.
They were both silent, and Kikyou dared to step closer before her hands felt the invisible barrier wound around them. Something flickered in Kikumo's deep green eyes when her fingers touched the shield and was repelled, as though by some electric shock. She knew of the Priestess' arrival, and had prepared for it. Kikyou knew at once that Kikumo has something evil up on her earth-colored sleeves.
"Sesshoumaru, she's trying to trap you in her barrier!" Kikyou shouted, but Sesshoumaru appeared not to hear her. He was still standing there, as though in a trance. "Sesshoumaru!"
As though to answer her, she heard Kikumo's voice reverberate inside her head, saying, "Did you not see that the shield I cast around us prevents him from having communication from the outside? He cannot see you; he cannot hear you."
With a cry, Kikyou whipped out one of her purity arrows and shot it at the shield, only to be deflected in turn. Kikumo's laugh rang in her mind as she pounded at the barrier with her fists, and she called out Sesshoumaru's name, but she knew her efforts were in vain. It made her angry to have her miko powers come of no use in such a difficult situation.
"Kikumo!" She shouted her name in anger at the top of her lungs, before she crumpled on her knees hopelessly beside the barrier.
"I suggest that you simply listen and enjoy yourself," Kikumo's mocking voice echoed, and Kikyou's eyes flamed with rage as her hands clutched tightly at her red miko's pants.
'Sesshoumaru, fight her!' Kikyou thought desperately in her mind as she stood up once more and fixed an arrow on her bow and stood ready for any assault that might come.
...o0o...
Inside Kikumo's deadly barrier, Sesshoumaru remained oblivious to Kikyou's pleas from the outside or even to her aura. All that he saw was Kikumo, who was looking at him with an unreadable expression in her emerald eyes.
"I have been thinking about the past, Kikumo," he said, not breaking their eye contact.
"So have I," she replied quietly, her fingers plucking a new melody in her koto. Compared to the somber previous one, the new tone was gentle to the ears and sweet. "Do you still remember this music?"
Sesshoumaru silently listened to the melody before he remembered. "That...the day after the war...the day I gave you..."
Kikumo's eyes hardened and she said, "And do you still remember what harsh words you gave me?"
The other youkai's expression remained the same as he said simply, "I remember." And the memories seemed to replay themselves before his eyes.
...o0o...
Outside the barrier, Kikyou felt as though the world around her had begun to spin in a whirl of color. Everything became a mass of mixed shapes before they began to reshape themselves again. She was no longer in the forest; she was sitting in a sunlit garden of unearthly beauty, where the trees grew in perfect symmetry and the flowers gave off a lovely fragrance. The grass beneath her feet seemed to be made of the finest threads, and they danced in the direction of the light breeze that blew among the trees. Kikyou took in the beauty of her surroundings before thinking, 'Is this yet another of Kikumo's spiteful tricks?'
Then she realized that her hands were playing a familiar ebony black koto that had silver strings. Wait a minute... she never learned how to play the instrument, and what are those snakelike markings on her arms? It took Kikyou a while to realize that she was seeing things happening from Kikumo's eyes, and she detested the discovery until her vision caught sight of a familiar figure approaching. Those silvery hair, those amber eyes, the mark of the crescent moon... Why, isn't this...Sesshoumaru?
Kikyou felt the muscles of her cheeks, or more accurately, Kikumo's cheek, form a truly sincere smile upon seeing the Demon Lord. Kikyou stared at the taiyoukai, and though his face was deceptively unchanged, the arrogant aura surrounding him was so thick that she could almost touch it. His eyes were much, much colder than the coldest stare Kikyou had yet to see with her own eyes.
"So, what is it that you want to talk about?" Sesshoumaru impatiently asked of Kikumo, his arms ('Arms?' Kikyou thought. 'This probably happened before Inuyasha hacked off one of them!') folding over his armored chest.
Kikyou felt the Deer Demon's heart thump painfully against her rib cage. The priestess suddenly felt some strange feeling radiating from the Demoness...she was nervous, apparently, and then, Kikyou read in Kikumo's heart a longing, a kind of yearning.
"I am glad the war had ended with your family earning the victory," Kikyou heard herself in Kikumo's voice say.
Sesshoumaru gave a snort and said, "We would have earned the victory even if your silly instrument did not aid us. I never knew your clan could actually wield weapons."
Kikyou felt a twinge of hurt stab at her heart. It must be Kikumo's hurt.
"Well, we do have to defend ourselves sometimes..." Kikumo said. "We do more than grow herbs and gardens, as what other youkai think."
"Whatever," Sesshoumaru said, snorting once more. "But if you called me here to listen to that music of yours, well, I am going. I have heard enough of it in yesterday's war."
"No!" Kikumo said, and Kikyou felt her heart thumping so wildly that it hurt. Her hands left the koto as she stood up and approached Sesshoumaru. Kikyou felt herself looking eagerly up at Sesshoumaru's face. Thanks to Kikumo, she had at last seen the demon's face up close, and she could almost count his eyelashes. Sesshoumaru's expression, however, disturbed Kikyou. It was all cold; not a trace of warmth could be found.
Kikumo, herself, was rather frightened by this, and her voice was shaking as she said, "Sesshoumaru, I...I have to gather most of my courage to say this, but...please listen to me. I..."
"Stop wasting my time and get to the point," Sesshoumaru said, staring down at her with irritated eyes.
Kikumo took one deep breath before saying, "I love you, Sesshoumaru."
Kikyou could hardly believe what Kikumo just said. Sure, this Kikumo was certainly very different from the dark demoness she knew, and so was Sesshoumaru. This was what they once were.
Sesshoumaru looked at Kikumo before letting out a sarcastic laugh. "You have only known me yesterday and you already love me?"
"I know it might seem unusual, but please, try to understand," Kikumo pleaded. Whatever courage that had enabled her to speak had vanished, and her fear nearly paralyzed her. "It's a very complicated feeling...but I know it's there. I love you."
At this, Sesshoumaru turned in disgust and when Kikumo tried to place a hand on his shoulder, he only swatted her away, his clawed fingers narrowly missing her face.
"For a youkai as powerful as you, you are incredibly emotional," Sesshoumaru said with deep revulsion. "Love is a thing of humans, and we are of a more powerful race. And besides, you are a threat to my power."
"A threat?" Kikumo repeated dumbly, her heart having been repeatedly stabbed by his words.
Sesshoumaru flexed his long fingers and said, "Your power rivals mine too much. The game of this world speaks of the struggle of the fittest, and I might have to put an end to your existence in order to ensure my claim for the Western Lands." He then walked away from the stunned and hurt figure of the Demoness.
"You would...do that?"
"I would have done that to anyone who stands on my way."
His last words were the final blow. Kikyou felt Kikumo collapse to her knees, and tears were flowing freely from her eyes before Kikyou was jolted back to the present, the shock of what she had just seen making her fall on her knees as well beside the barrier. The dark forest was once more around her, and she focused her attention on the two youkai.
Kikumo's pain...she had been hurt in the past...and now she was searching for revenge. The Priestess trembled when she finally saw a stunning similarity between her and the Demoness. And seeing Sesshoumaru in such an arrogant pride made her look at him differently. What Rin told her as a kind and caring master seemed so far away...
"Those words, I regretted, Kikumo," Sesshoumaru said quietly. "My wanderings had taught me that there are other things than such power."
"If you found that out," Kikumo replied, folding her hands on her lap, her eyes becoming lost in the shadow of her hair, "you found it out too late. You have forever marred my heart. I left the Western Lands that very day, and I forsook my title as the Princess of the Deer clan finding out that I could not tolerate your face any longer. I wandered this world, too, Sesshoumaru. However, for every new place I find, the pain still stabs at me."
"Is there not a way to heal your heart?" Sesshoumaru asked, taking a step closer to the tree. Kikyou could see that his face was no longer neutral. It expressed genuine concern. "The image of you crying had haunted my dreams, and it was only now that I realized that I...I love you too."
At the pulse of his words, Kikyou's eyes widened. What Sesshoumaru came as a total surprise for her, and so it was with Kikumo, who gradually met his gaze and for a moment, lost all the hatred in her eyes, and for a brief moment looked like the gentle demon that Kikyou came in contact with in the flashback. But Kikumo's eyes resumed their cold glaze quickly, and she said, "You said it too late, Sesshoumaru."
Her hands touched the koto, and at her touch the instrument seemed to shimmer and change its form, and in its stead was the Hiroko Kama, its ebony handle dark and unyielding, its blade shining dangerously in the full moon. She, grabbing hold of the naginata, then leaped off the tree and broke off into the forest in a run.
"Kikumo!" Sesshoumaru took after her and Kikyou felt the shield gradually disappearing. When the last traces of the barrier had left, the Priestess took her bow and arrows and ran after the two demons, using only their aura as her tracking device. In time, they came to the end of the forest, out into a clearing that ended in a deep cliff and rocky ravine. The moon was full, and its light was enough to let Kikyou see from behind a tree Sesshoumaru and Kikumo.
The taiyoukai had caught up with the Demoness, and he had tried to contain her in his one-armed embrace, but she wriggled free from him easily and she pointed the blade of her weapon in his direction.
"Don't you dare cause me more hurt, Sesshoumaru," Kikumo had said. "Is it not enough that you broke my heart fifty years ago?"
"I am not going to hurt you, Kikumo," Sesshoumaru replied slowly. "But what I feel is true; I love you."
"You once said that love is a thing for the low-minded humans. Have you gone against your own principles?"
"Give me one more chance, Kikumo. I was different then, and I was wrong to judge you harshly."
Behind the tree, Kikyou's heart was wrenching in pain. Just when she thought she had let go of her jealousy, it went back to her again twice as much. Kikyou could only wish that she would understand why she was feeling this way...why a tear was trickling from one of her eyes to see him with a woman he loves more than her...why she would give anything just to be in Kikumo's stead that very moment...
Kikumo locked her gaze with Sesshoumaru and said, "I want to hear it from you again. Did you say that you love me?"
Kikyou bit her lips to keep her intense emotions inside as she pressed her hands over her ears, hoping to keep out whatever Sesshoumaru had to say. 'Why are you being tormented by his words?' Kikyou scolded herself. 'You don't love him...but why are you being tormented to hear him say those three simple words to that rotten Demoness?'
"Kikumo..." Sesshoumaru said, and with a very sincere look in his eyes, he said, "I love you."
At these words, Kikumo lowered her blade and she slowly went towards the other demon. Her emerald eyes met his amber ones and they gently closed as she neared her face to him. Sesshoumaru, himself, closed his golden orbs as their lips neared each other. Kikyou wanted to close her eyes as well and shut out the scene, but her eyes remained stubbornly open. But what she saw made her heart miss a beat. Kikumo's hand that was not clutching the Hiroko Kama was slowly making it way to the Tenseiga's hilt.
Kikyou finally realized what Kikumo was after. She can't allow her to betray Sesshoumaru!
Kikyou tried to scream a warning at Sesshoumaru as she launched one of her arrows, but Kikumo was quicker. With the abrupt opening of her green eyes, Kikyou felt as though the earth beneath her feet lurched and threw her backwards. The scream that erupted from Kikyou's throat was enough to send Sesshoumaru's eyes to her direction, but it was too late.
In one quick fluid motion of her hand, Kikumo had whipped the Healing Fang from Sesshoumaru's waist, and in one graceful leap, she stood at the edge of the gaping cliff. Sesshoumaru shifted his glances from the struggling form of Kikyou to the menacing figure of Kikumo silhouetted against the moon. A wind had begun to blow, and her long fawn tresses danced in rhythm with the wind, making shadows in the moonlight. His mouth fell open to see that she was clutching one of his swords.
"Why...why..."
"Why what, Sesshoumaru?" Kikumo sneered, pointing the Hiroko Kama at him. "You are a fool, taiyoukai. Do you think I'll love you after what you have done to me? I am pleased to have hoodwinked you, Lord of the Western Lands. So, you have a weakness after all, my love?"
Kikyou had recovered her posture and fired an arrow at Kikumo, but she swatted it aside with her naginata. Grunting, the Priestess drew out another arrow, but she was unable to fire, too lost for words.
Sesshoumaru's eyes had taken on the color of fire, and his talons seemed to glow a poisonous green as his whip was drawn out of his fingers. He launched himself in the air and sent the whip at the other demon, but Kikumo had at once transformed into her deer form and leaped down the ravine. Sesshoumaru dropped down on the cliff's edge and he sought her, but Kikumo had vanished.
Kikyou rushed to his side with an arrow ready, but her target was no longer in the ravine. Her hands were trembling with anger, and so was her voice. She could only feel anger for the Demoness, after what she had done to Sesshoumaru.
Kikyou lowered her bow and looked at Sesshoumaru, saying, "We'll get Tenseiga back from her, Sesshoumaru. I promise you that."
But Sesshoumaru was not listening to her. Though his eyes had returned to their original amber color, no one can deny the extreme emotions imprinted in them. Betrayal, anger, hurt, shock... Kikyou was not sure which, but she could so well understand him. Though he had deemed the Tenseiga as useless, having only the ability to heal, it was for him a memory of his father, and he had kept it with him always. Kikyou knew that Kikumo had earned for herself a dangerous enemy, and the priestess said to herself, 'You will pay dearly for what you have done, Demoness.'
...o0o...
Dum, dum, dum...Trouble has really begun. Thank you, thank you, Syrith, for suggesting the moon backdrop for the final scene! Alas, I can't bear to torture Sesshie, but my plot has to go that way...please have mercy... I would have made Kikumo nicer, but she would become too much a rival for Kikyou over Sesshie and we don't want that to happen, right?