Author: Nefertili
Fandom: Inuyasha
Rating: PG13
Pairing(s): Sesshoumaru/Kikyou, Sesshoumaru/OC
Genre(s): Romance, Angst, Adventure, AU
Warning(s): Battle scenes, betrayal, over-anger (if there is such a word), fluff... What more can I say?
Disclaimer: None of the characters, except perhaps some, are mine. They are owned by Rumiko Takahashi.
Summary: Kikyou, being saved from peril by Sesshoumaru, joins him in a quest against Naraku and one of his allies, who happened to share a past one-sided relationship with the Demon Lord. SesshKik!
A/N: Okay, I guess I played too much with the characters, and I seemed to have made Kikyou into Kagome and Sesshoumaru into Inuyasha (oh dear, Fluffy will kill me!), but that's for the sake of the preceding chapters, and I purposely made them look like that. ANYWAY, back to normal, and I guess I would have to make Sesshie and Kikyou have a little misunderstanding again... ;)
...o0o...
Sesshoumaru stood there for a couple of minutes, and so did Kikyou, who was watching him closely. She had backed away from him slightly, knowing that he might not wish to have her company for the time being. Gradually, all the emotions in his eyes were erased, and sheer coldness replaced them once more. He regained his composure and stood up to his full height. With a flip of his platinum hair, he turned with the grace befitting a youkai of his rank and wordlessly left the scene, disappearing among the scene and not even glancing back at Kikyou who stayed in the clearing for a few moments longer.
"Hmm..." Kikyou muttered to herself, stepping once more onto the rough rocks lining the edge of the ravine and carefully scanning the barren scene below, reflecting deeply on what had just come to pass. "And so it happens. She has but forever broken the fragile thread of trust that had momentarily formed between them. Foolish one; she does not know what enemy she had just acquired for herself."
A breeze fluttered through her hair and she closed her eyes to calm her troubled spirits as well as to feel the cold sting of the late autumn breeze. Winter is due in a few weeks, she knew. One of her Soul-snatching Demons appeared out of nowhere and went up to her. Kikyou let it gently claw at her hand in a gesture of faithfulness before she held it up to meet her eyes. The shinidamachuu looked intently at its mistress.
"It seems I have to step carefully around him again," she told her pet. She looked at the figure of the moon once more; it had already begun to sink in the horizon. "I must not forget that he's a Demon Lord, the way he must not fail to remember that I am a miko."
The lone shinidamachuu let go of its gentle grasp on the Priestess' hand and it lazily floated up at the night sky and vanished. Kikyou sighed, and she quietly turned her back on the ravine and slowly made her way back to her companions.
...o0o...
When Kikyou arrived beside the river, she caught sight of Sesshoumaru where she remembered him to be before she fell asleep. He was staring emptily at the cold flowing waters of the river, and though Kikyou knew that he was aware of her presence, he did not pay any particular attention to her.
Sighing once more, she walked around the sleeping figure of Rin, stopping to stroke the dark hair of the little girl before she continued to her spot underneath the tree. Lying down once more, she positioned herself so as to not face the figure of Sesshoumaru, and slowly drifted into an uneasy sleep.
'I made my face fall in front of that Demoness,' she thought in her dreams, her pride hurt by having to show weakness to her enemy. Inside her heart, a new iron will began to form. 'I will never let that happen again.'
...o0o...
Sesshoumaru temporarily shifted his line of sight from the river to the sleeping figure of Kikyou, who had her back facing him. It was certainly a great blow to his ego when he found out what Kikumo was after and he allowed himself to be laid defenseless to the wily tricks of a woman, and an even greater blow to see that he had a witness to his foolish act: that obstinate, mysterious miko.
He had meant his words to Kikumo; he had really loved her, but what he couldn't understand was why she had to betray him in turn. Sesshoumaru recalled how close she came to him, how she neared her face to his...and how her hand deftly took the Tenseiga from his waist in a single motion. And to see that Kikyou was there among the trees...
Sesshoumaru involuntarily made a fist out of his remaining hand, his talons pressing against his skin. He detested creatures that hide a dark purpose beneath their actions, including that cowardly bastard Naraku who once gave him a human arm only to have him almost consumed by it, but he was even more wary of those who had seen him let out his weaknesses. Kikyou was just a perfect example of that person.
To top it all up, he knew that his own half-brother constantly battles the same problem he had just encountered: of betrayal and confusion with his love life. What had entered his mind to follow the foolish examples of his hanyou brother?
'She had seen me; she had seen it all,' Sesshoumaru heatedly thought. 'Why does she have to follow my footsteps wherever they go?'
Unknown to any soul, he secretly liked Kikyou thanks to Rin, who would not let one moment pass without reminding him in one way or another of the admirable traits of the Priestess. But since Kikumo appeared, he couldn't get the Deer youkai out of mind, for he had housed long-term feelings for her. But alas, in just one night under the full moon, all those feelings were nearly completely obliterated in a second.
If he now distrusted Kikumo and hated her as much as he hated Naraku, his claws are itching constantly to be put around the miko's throat. Sesshoumaru was angry - no, infuriated - at Kikyou, and it was all because she had seen what she should not have seen.
'I will never let her nudge her arrows at my business again,' he thought, and instantly diverted his gaze from her form.
He fingered the hilt of his remaining sword, the Toukijin, and he felt strange to not have the Tenseiga near him. Sesshoumaru knew that without the protection of his father's reminder, he was vulnerable to the attacks of his half-brother, and the sword could also counsel him in some way. Somehow, the Healing Fang was of use to him, even if it was not his desired sword: the Tessaiga, which was in the keeping of his younger brother. He recalled what the miko said earlier, 'We'll get Tenseiga back from her, Sesshoumaru. I promise you that.'
We? Sesshoumaru snorted. He was better off without her, and he would recover his father's legacy and slit Kikumo's and Naraku's cheating throats on his own, and with his own bare claws if necessary. On his own.
...o0o...
When morning came, Kikyou felt like she hadn't slept at all. Normally she would wake earlier than Rin and Jaken, but now Rin had to gently nudge her to waken the Priestess. The child's urgent tone was like a rooster's morning call to Kikyou, forcing her to fight the strong grasps of sleep.
"Kikyou-sama, wake up!" Rin said, repeatedly pulling at Kikyou's blouse. "Sesshoumaru-sama wants us to leave early!"
Kikyou sleepily opened one of her eyes. Sesshoumaru insisted on leaving early? Groggily, she raised herself from her lying position, but her senses were immediately wakened by Sesshoumaru's unfeeling tone behind her.
"Get up, miko," he ordered with an edge of severity that he had never done before. "We are about to leave."
At this, Kikyou twisted her torso to face the cold face of the taiyoukai. He was standing beside her, his tall form casting a shadow over her smaller form in the early morning light. The Priestess noted that his fist was tightly clenched, and she worried that his talons had dug deep enough in his flesh to draw blood.
"Why this early?" Kikyou asked, looking up at the unreadable amber orbs that looked down at her. She frowned slightly, for his gaze reminded her of the extremely arrogant Demon Lord she saw through Kikumo's eyes.
"And are you to complain?" Sesshoumaru asked in return, in a flat tone. "I decide when and where we will go, and you only have to obey." Not waiting for her to answer, he abruptly turned on his heels and ventured into the forest with Jaken following.
Rin then began to pull at Kikyou's arm, saying, "Hurry, Priestess Kikyou, we'll get left behind!"
Kikyou uncertainly stood up and retrieved her weapons. She helped Rin mount Ah-Un and they followed the retreating figure of Sesshoumaru in silence. Something had really snapped inside the Demon Lord; Kikyou felt something different in his aura. Kikumo had indeed done a wonderful job at changing the way they view each other. Sesshoumaru had become colder, and Kikyou more pensive. She let herself be dragged along by the impatient Rin, who was looking up at the miko with concerned eyes.
"What's wrong, Kikyou-sama?" the little girl asked in a small voice, expressing worry at the miko's silence.
"Oh, nothing really, Rin," Kikyou said and she smiled a little to somehow assure the other girl. She had let Rin hold on to her hand as they journeyed, and she gave the smaller hand an affectionate squeeze.
"Something's bothering Sesshoumaru-sama, too," Rin narrated sadly, locking her chocolate-brown eyes with Kikyou's mahogany orbs. "Jaken was asking why he hasn't his other sword, but he wouldn't answer us. He just kept saying he will recover it soon. I don't understand it, Kikyou-sama."
"I don't think I do, too, Rin," Kikyou said, patting Rin's arm affectionately. "I don't think I do."
Kikyou's eyes were drawn to shining glory of Sesshoumaru's long platinum locks, and she thought, 'If he's extremely bothered about the loss of his Tenseiga, he does not let it show.' She blinked and bowed her head slightly. 'Things might have been different if I had not seen him with Kikumo, but that was the way it has to be.'
...o0o...
"The Priestess looks extremely gloomy, Sesshoumaru-sama," Jaken whispered loud enough for Sesshoumaru to hear, noticing that the Undead Miko was unusually silent around Rin.
"She has always been gloomy and pain since she was resurrected," Sesshoumaru replied tartly. "Her mood does not make any difference to me."
"You do have a point, Sesshoumaru-sama," Jaken said uncertainly, and he spoke no more. Worried he was because the Tenseiga was not in Sesshoumaru's grasp, Jaken did not bother to try to converse the greater demon. His Lord was in a sour mood, and he knew irrelevant talk is enough to further irritate the taiyoukai.
Sesshoumaru grunted and stared at the forest beyond. Most of the trees are evergreens that don't lose their leaves in winter, but the several deciduous trees they passed had already lost most of their leaves, leaving a blanket of dried husks of red, orange and brown at their roots. The coming of the cold season won't deter him from fulfilling his purposes, however.
His amber eyes narrowed slightly before he turned his head to glance at Rin and Kikyou and back again. If he had his way, he wouldn't have made Rin waken the Priestess from her slumber and simply left her behind, but something inside him chose otherwise. In leaving Kikyou behind, he would betray her, but Sesshoumaru knew that one betrayal in one night was enough, and his mind, still functioning amidst his shattered heart, just wouldn't allow him to follow the example of his past love.
Unconsciously, his hand strayed to the red handle of the Toukijin. The sooner they get rid of Kikumo and Naraku, the better...he'd be free of Kikyou too. Just then, a thought snapped in his mind that made him almost halt in his tracks. Kikumo and Naraku. Is it possible that they are in league of one another? If that is the case, then it would not be an easy task, indeed. Kikumo to disable him of his protection of the Sword of Life, and then to lay him bare to Naraku... An interesting possibility; a well-planned scheme. The Demoness would stop at nothing to earn her revenge.
His thoughts then diverted to Kikyou. If Naraku found out that his hated Priestess was in his company, he would draw the hanyou's attention to himself as well. Well, he shook the thought away, for those were one of the points he considered before letting Kikyou into his group. He was eager to take the risk; besides, it might make the finding of Naraku easier...
Kikyou. Sesshoumaru's eyes flitted once more to the miko's direction, quietly observing her interaction with Rin. As usual, the child was doing the talking, but Kikyou appeared to be only half-listening. She had a far-off look in her eyes, as though pondering on something. Was she thinking about last night's events as well? Jaken was right; though Sesshoumaru was correct in his claim that Kikyou was never really happy at being resurrected, she looked a lot sadder than usual. Sesshoumaru did not fail to notice her silent grieving, and he was perturbed about it amidst his anger for the Priestess
'If that is so, she seems as upset as I am,' he thought. 'But why?'
...o0o...
The day was a silent one for Sesshoumaru's company. They had reached a hilly stretch of the land, and the ground was not as even as it was back in the plains, coming constantly into dips and rises.
Both Kikyou and Sesshoumaru refused to let out their thoughts, thus Jaken and Rin were confusedly conferring with one another about what transpired between the miko and the taiyoukai. Jaken was even having the wild idea that Kikyou stole the Tenseiga and disposed of it, but Rin vigorously defended the Priestess. But they earned nothing from their arguments, and they had to go to bed with all the 'whys' still buzzing around their mind.
Kikyou, however, did not sleep. She sat underneath a tree with her knees folded against her chest, her chin resting on her knees as her arms wrapped securely around her legs. Nearby, Sesshoumaru was puzzled at her odd behavior, but he did not comment on it. He was content to look up at the few stars that peeped in from the bare canopy of the tree he sat under. The forest had thinned around them, and soon they might open up to another grassy land again.
To his surprise, he found out that someone was sitting beside him. He turned to see that Kikyou had left her spot and had moved closer to him. Sesshoumaru once more felt uneasiness at her presence, and though he did not inch away from the miko, he made it a point to avoid her gaze. His secret liking for the miko was warring with his anger for her, and he was afraid that his claws might move against his own will and go for her slender neck if his eyes met hers.
"I was thinking about last night, Sesshoumaru," Kikyou said quietly, also avoiding his gaze.
"I know," Sesshoumaru replied coldly. Though he did not mind Kikyou addressing him as her equal, he certainly was not ready to speak to her yet. He was still hovering in indecision and countless questions.
"I know how much pain you probably feel," Kikyou continued. "I am sorry it had to happen to you."
This statement added fuel to Sesshoumaru's flaming anger. He hated it when people express their sympathy for him, for in doing so they were indirectly reminding him of his failings.
"What do you care about my whereabouts?" Sesshoumaru countered, making a great effort to keep his anger at bay. "You have only known me for several weeks, miko, and don't go on saying that you understand me."
"You also said a variation of those words to Kikumo in the past," Kikyou replied, remembering the scene she witnessed in Kikumo's body.
Sesshoumaru turned to regard her furiously. How had she known?
"Kikumo showed me a vision of what transpired between you two after the war in the Western Lands," Kikyou said, answering his unasked question.
'Blast Kikumo for further shaming me,' Sesshoumaru cursed silently. His hand had formed into a fist again, and his own talons were causing him a slight pain due their digging into his palms.
"But you should not be troubled about that, Sesshoumaru. I can well see that you have changed somehow, and that you do have a caring side hidden somewhere inside you."
"Changed? A caring side?" the Demon Lord asked, laughing once in a bitter way. "You do not know what you're talking about, miko."
"You may deny that a thousand times like your brother would," Kikyou said sadly. Sesshoumaru felt his face becoming hot with annoyance at being compared with Inuyasha. No, he insisted, he and that hanyou have nothing in common, save for perhaps a couple of their physiques. "But someday you will be able to overcome your pride and let your true heart guide you."
"If you're suggesting that I follow my half-brother's example, I will not hear of it."
"That's not precisely what I meant. I just want to let you know that arrogance is not the true way to set yourself free. Only in learning to love can we truly fly."
"Love? Miko, are you out of your mind? We get chained if we love, and the true taste of it is quite the opposite of what you just said."
"Perhaps yes, perhaps not," Kikyou replied, looking up at a bright star that had begun to shine overhead. "Do you think that you are the only person whose heart was broken? The only person who ever got betrayed? There are many living souls that have had their hearts broken many times, but still had the reason to carry on and love again."
"To love again, miko?" Sesshoumaru interrogated her testily. "I suggest that you look at yourself more closely before you say anything. You are the one who sealed my brother to a tree; you died and were resurrected; and now you are living a life rooted on your hatred for my brother and Naraku. How can you advise me to love again when you, yourself cannot do it?"
"Sesshoumaru," Kikyou replied steadily, shifting her gaze from the star to his amber eyes. "I have come to realize that I may be able to love again if I was given the chance, but fate just wouldn't relax its hold on me." She breathed in the cold night air deeply and closed her eyes before continuing. "And besides, I doubt if anyone could stand to love a being made of clay and bones like me." She would have wanted to use the word 'you' in place of the 'anyone', but she could not give herself away; not yet.
After a while of silence, she spoke up once again, asking, "Given the chance that Kikumo would return the Tenseiga to you and ask for forgiveness, would you give in to her and love her again?"
The last question was enough to drive Sesshoumaru mad. He had enough of the miko's uncomforting questions that further confused his already tangled sense of comprehension. Before he knew it, a wild snarl had erupted from his mouth, and his eyes had turned into an angry shade of red. He quickly maneuvered himself and he cornered Kikyou to the tree, his talons a mere inch from her neck.
"If you want to know the answer, I'll tell you," Sesshoumaru said between quick breaths as Kikyou looked at him with shock in her mahogany eyes. "Whatever I feel about her belongs to the past, and nothing more. You are but a burden to my shoulders, miko, and you saw my head being turned by her sly ways. Can't you see that I can no longer tolerate your sweet face knowing that you have seen me in my weakness?"
Sesshoumaru had drawn his face so close to her that she could feel his angry breath. Kikyou recoiled slightly at the furious blaze of his red eyes and his bared fangs. The two magenta marks at the sides of his face had become rough, jagged lines, making the taiyoukai look extremely menacing. The Priestess felt the tips of his talons against her neck, making her skin tingle with fear, but amidst all that, she did not scream; she simply tried her best not to break her eye contact with Sesshoumaru's blazing ones and to not move a muscle.
Noticing that the Priestess was not resisting, Sesshoumaru began to gather his strength behind his hand and to end Kikyou's miserable life with his claws, but Kikyou's aggrieved voice held him back.
"I am sorry, Sesshoumaru," she said, twisting her head and looking away. Sesshoumaru could see that beads of tears are beginning to form around the edges of her eyes. "I am sorry for causing trouble in your part. I know that I have only been extra luggage in your eyes, and that if not for Rin, you would never have allowed me to come with you. But worry not, for I will not trouble you or Rin further. I will take leave of you at this very moment."
Sesshoumaru blinked, and at once, his reddened eyes returned to amber. The angry marks at the side of his face resumed their original form. He slowly withdrew his talons from Kikyou's neck and his arm fell to his side, as though energy had totally vanished from it. He could only stare at Kikyou with amazement in his intensely colored orbs. After he had done so, Kikyou once more looked at him, and though her eyes looked as though she was in the brink of tears, she smiled at Sesshoumaru, saying, "Thank you."
Wordlessly, she edged away from his stupefied figure. Unhurriedly, Kikyou slung her quiver across her back and collected her bow from where it lay among the tree's roots. She saw Rin asleep peacefully on her sleeping bag, and her heart ached, for she was fond of the little girl, and it was hard to leave her, but she had to go.
Having taken what little articles she had carried with her, she stood up and spared one last look at the Demon Lord. He had not moved; his eyes still wide open and facing the tree. Giving a soft sigh, she said, "Goodbye, Sesshoumaru. If it is in your will, please say goodbye to Rin for me. You are fortunate to have someone like her on your side."
Having said her final words, Kikyou turned and walked into the woods until the soft sound of her footfalls died out.
Sesshoumaru angrily planted his hand against the tree's trunk, his claws making deep marks in its rough bark. He mentally cursed himself for being so foolhardy. Could not anything turn out right? Gradually, he calmed down and removed his grasp from the tree. He stood up and stared at the pockets of the star-spangled sky that was spread among the bare branches.
'You should be exulting now that she had left,' he reasoned to himself, but he felt no relief at the Priestess' leaving. Rather, he felt his already broken heart further breaking into smaller pieces, stinging his soul. A part of his mind wished that what he was seeing was only a dream, but he knew that he was only fooling himself. Kikyou was gone; she had detached herself from him forever.
"Kikyou..."
Sesshoumaru found himself saying her name for the first time, and in his mind, her last smile had left an indelible mark, as simple it was. He had tried to kill her, yet she still managed to thank him for sparing her life. Kikyou was the first woman to have smiled at him since Kikumo.
The taiyoukai sat down once more under the shade of the barren tree. He told himself that he was finally relieved of the stubborn miko, and that he would not have to bear her enthralling gaze again. But with her passing, the mental images of her that was in Sesshoumaru's mind seemed to become clearer, the graceful beauty of her soft features becoming more defined. He tried to think of his plans to regain his Tenseiga, but Kikyou's name was all that reverberated in his mind.
'So, this is your power, miko? Making other beings fall victims to their own madness over your voice and beautiful face that no one is capable of resisting...'
...o0o...
Kikyou stopped for a while. She had walked away from Sesshoumaru and his companions until his aura became but a faint trace in her senses.
'Jump with joy, Kikyou, for you no longer have to bear the presence of that cold taiyoukai,' Kikyou told herself, but she would not, could not, feel any happiness at not seeing Sesshoumaru again. She felt torn deep inside, and she tried to think of other things, of her past love, Inuyasha...of her mission to purify the Shikon jewel...but Sesshoumaru, his intoxicating name, refused to depart from her mind. The more she ran away from him, the more his handsome face tormented her mind; she could almost feel his eyes watching her.
'Is this a taste of your famed prowess, demon? You make hapless humans weak in the knees because of your charming features and allow their hopelessness to kill them for you...'
Her shinidamachuu began to appear among the trees and began to circle the stationary figure Kikyou, who realized by then that she would soon need new souls for her clay body, and she gave a hidden command to her pets that they procure the souls she needed. At once, the Soul-snatching Demons drifted in separate directions to fulfill their mistress' wishes, and Kikyou, alone once more, went on her way.
But she was right in thinking that someone was watching her, for hidden among the trees a pair of watchful eyes followed the Priestess as she passed. Only, they were of deep green, and not of amber.
"Alone at last..." a hissing voice quietly muttered as pale hands ran its fingers over the cold handle of the Hiroko Kama.
...o0o...
Psst, this is not the end for Sesshy and Kiky! Kikyou's in danger, eh? What do you think will Sesshoumaru do? Have I tied a tight leash around my reader's necks? ;)